珍爱（2009）

it’s like, say, like if Rita, she tries to do something,
该停的时候 又接着走
and she’s going and she’s going, and me, I try to stop her
她不停 又接着走
and she no stop, she keep on going.
不管周围 那样
Relentless- un.
那稍后见 再见
I’ll see you tonight. Bye.
为什么是我?
来一下
Come with me.
阿珍?
Precious?
抱歉?
Excuse me?
护士说我HIV阳性
Nurse say I’m HlV positive.
我今天什么都不想写
I don’t got nothing to write today.
孩子们还好么?
is your baby okay?
没事 只要我不用母乳喂他们的话
He all right. I just got to stop breastfeeding him.
还记得曾经有一次你告诉我…
Remember, you once told me
你还没有好好的和他讲过故事
you never really got to tell your story.
– 写下来 – 操你!
– Write. – Fuck you!
我所经历的你知道个屁!
You know nothing of what I’ve been through.
我从没有过男朋友
I don’t never had no boyfriend.
我爸爸说他想娶我
My daddy said he gonna marry me.
为什么呢? 因为他想合法操♥我♥!
How he gonna do that? it would fucking be illegal!
写
Write.
我受够了 雨小姐
I’m tired, Ms. Rain.
如果不想为自己写 那为爱你的人写
lf not for yourself, then for the people who love you.
没人爱我
Nobody loves me.
人们爱你 阿珍
People do love you, Precious.
请你别骗我了 雨小姐
Please don’t lie to me, Ms. Rain.
爱从来没为我带来什么好处
Love ain’t done nothing for me.
爱 打我 强♥奸♥我
Love beat me, raped me,
称我为野兽 让我觉得自己一无是处 让我得病
called me an animal, make me feel worthless. Make me sick.
那不是爱 阿珍
That wasn’t love, Precious.
你的宝宝爱你
Your baby loves you.
我爱你
I love you.
写
Write.
你在想些什么呢?
What are you thinking?
你从没跟我说过 你和你妈妈的关系
You never told me about your relationship with your mother.
我是没说过 是吧?
I didn’t, did l?
真的 我来这里是帮助你
Really, I’m here to help you.
你可以和我谈 这里很安全
You can talk to me. This is a safe environment.
你说得没错
You’re right.
要不然谈谈你♥爸♥爸也可以
We could talk about your daddy instead.
我们可以谈谈我妈妈 我爸爸 我姨妈…
We could talk about my mother, my father,
我姐姐和我哥哥 但这都不会帮到你
my aunts or my sister or my brother, but none of it’s gonna help you.
你一点都不喜欢我
You don’t even like me.
我们不是已经在这房♥间里
Have we not been in this room together
相处有一年时间 讨论你的生活么?
for, like, a year, discussing your life?
就是说讨论了我的生活 我们就可以互相喜欢了么?
Does that mean we like each other, because we discuss my life?
我不能替你说 我只能说我自己的想法 而我是喜欢你的
I can’t speak for you. I can only speak for me, and I do like you. I do.
那 你是意大利人
So, are you Italian, or…
算是什么人种呢?
What color are you, anyway?
算是某种黑人还是西班牙人?
Are you some type of black or Spanish?
你觉得我算什么人种呢?
What color do you think I am?
现在我挺想知道的 你觉得我是什么人种呢?
No, I’d like to know. What color do you think I am?
我喉咙干了
My throat is dry.
– 你喉咙干了? – 这里挺热的
– Your throat is dry? – it’s really hot in here.
这儿是挺热的
it is kind of hot in here.
我去买♥♥瓶汽水 你要什么?
I’m gonna go get a soda. What do you want?
我也要汽水就行
Soda sounds fine.
好的
All right.
谢谢你
Thank you.
不客气
No problem.
那么 我必须跟你谈谈你妈妈的事
So, I have to talk to you about your mother,
我不知道你做何感想 但是
and I don’t know how you’re gonna feel about this,
她说她想看看你…
but she says she wants to see you
她想和你还有孙子重聚
and she wants to be reunited with you and her grandchildren.
她想来和你会面谈谈
She wants to come and have a session here with you.
你怎么跟她说的?
What did you tell her?
我说我会转告给你的
I said I had to speak to you about it.
你来决定
it’s up to you.
我不知道 我也从没有想过
I don’t know. I never thought about it before.
怀斯小姐说没什么比的上HIV病毒
Ms. Weiss said in that flee I got HIV.
她说我会因此而死
She said I was supposed to die from it.
我不担心我死
I ain’t worried about dying.
我担心怎样才能养大我的孩子
Shit, I gotta worry about how I’m supposed to raise these kids.
我刚写的是关于…
I was just writing, like, about…
我想开这么一个诊所
I wanna open up this clinic
关注母亲和孩子…
about, like, mothers and their children.
就是有病或者之类的…
You know, just, if they’re sick or something like that.
我总是想这么做 帮助邻里 因为我知道我妈妈
I always wanted to do that, give back to the community.
一定会为我感到骄傲 还有我的孩子也是
Because I know my mom would be proud of me if I did that, and my children, too.
我想我的孩子为妈妈感到骄傲 是吧?
I want my children to be proud of their mother, you know?
– 这就是我想做的 所以… – 就这样 挺好的
– That’s always what I wanted to do, so… – That’s good. That’s really nice.
我希望大家都能听一下 我是想说一下怎么回事
I don’t really want to read the whole thing, I kind of just wanna say what it’s about.
好的… 救助中心去谈话的事
Okay, the counselors at Advancement House,
是因为我爸爸和妈妈 对吧?
they were quizzing me about my mother and my father, right?
其实不是关于他们的
But it’s not really about them.
他们想让我在那里工作
They’re trying to get me to do workfare.
– 他们想让我做陪护员 – 你怎么知道的?
– They want me to be a home attendant. – How do you know?
因为我在那儿偷了我的档案
Because I stole my file and I read it.
他们想让我做的就是工作
All they want me to do is work.
我是想要工作 但我不想要赚得不够养活自己的工作
Now, I do wanna work, but not for no welfare check. What kind of sense that make,
这样做到底意义何在? 像阿珍这样高中没毕业就被退学
for somebody like Precious to quit school before she got her GED
然后去不知道什么地方给白人老人干活?
and go work for some old white people somewhere?
她什么坏事也没做 没理由被害得被困在这上面
She ain’t never gonna be nothing if she gets stuck in some shit like that.
兰达曾经当过陪护员
Rhonda used to home attend.
她去过布利莱顿海滩
She used to have to go all the way out to Brighton Beach.
好的 兰达曾经作陪护整天整夜
Yeah, okay, Rhonda would be working there all day and night.
随时摇铃呼唤 是吧?
She’d be on call, right?
赚时薪6.37美元 按照八小时工作制
She made $6.37 an hour, but for only eight hours.
所以一天是50.96美元
That equal out to $50.96.
但这可没多少钱
But that’s not a whole lot of money,
因为事实 她工作24小时
especially ’cause, for real, she there for 24 hours.
所以… 50.96除以24
So, $50.96 divided by 24 is $2.1 2 an hour.
那就是时薪2,06美元 这可没多少钱
That’s not a lot of money.
她说那个老贱♥人♥会摇铃铛 货真价实的铃铛
She said that old bitch would ring a bell, like, a real life, actual bell
如果她半夜想要她干点啥
when she wanted something from her in the middle of the night.
– 谁想干那破事 – 兰达 是真的么 兰达?
– You don’t want to do that shit. – Rhonda, is that true? Rhonda!
陪护员一天要工作6天
Them home attendants be working for, like, six days a week.
那我只能在周日见阿杜了 而且还不能上课了?
I’d only see Abdul on Sunday. Plus, I’d have to leave class.
那么 那不可行 你不能离开课堂
Well, that’s not an option. You’re not leaving class.
另外 下次还要去讨论”insect(虫子)”问题
Plus, I’m gonna start going to insect survivor meetings.
那是”incest”(乱♥伦♥)
it’s “incest.”
– 我不是那么说的么? – 不是 你说的是insect
– That ain’t what I said? – No, you said “insect.”
有啥区别?
What’s the difference?
一个是指你家庭内问题
Well, one’s where your family molests you,
另一个是指虫子 昆虫
the other’s like a roach or bugs.
– 哦 你现在是科学家了? – 我就是说一下吗
– So, you a scientist now? – I’m just saying.
没事 挺好 谢谢你
No, that’s cool. Thank you. Thank you.
当知道爸死了时 是一种既难过又奇怪的感觉
It was hard telling them strangers there what my father did.
有时候感觉很好
Sometimes it felt good.
上一周雨小姐让我们写自己梦想的样子
Last week, Ms. Rain asked us to write down what we wanna be like.
我写的是 我想要非常苗条
I wrote that I be real skinny,
黑皮肤 长头发
with Light skin and Long hair.
路易桑·赫卢威?
Loretta Holloway?
马上就到
Go on back there.
她回写道 我现在就很漂亮
She read it and said I’m beautiful like I am.
这儿也没人和我一起玩
But, there’s no kids back there for me to play with.
闭嘴好好坐着
Just shut up and sit there, then.
我去和那娘们谈谈话 免得我们饭钱给断了
Gonna talk to this lady before my shit gets cut off.
不知怎的…
But somehow,
现在… 我不知道为什么 但是…
right now… And I don’t know why, but…
我想她说得没错
I think she right.