我的个神啊（2014）

Wait, wait, hold on.
等等 等一下
Give it with your hand.
你来给吧
Today’s your birthday, give happy opportunity.
今天是你生日 给你个开心的机会
I told you no one lies in our world.
我告诉过你我们星球的人都不说谎的
Have you told anyone…
你有没有告诉过别人…
Have you told anyone that you an alien?
你有没有告诉过别人你是外星人?
If I said I will be put in lab.
如果我说了 我就会被抓进实验室的
They will cut me inside out.
他们会解剖我
So why did you tell me?
那你为什么告诉我?
Since I came here, I only take people’s money.
自从我来到这里 都是我拿别人的钱
No one has given me money.
没人给过我钱
You’re the first one given me by putting in the box for charity in 5000.
你是第一个往箱子里替我放了五千块的人
I’ve a feeling that you’re a gentleman, the one I can trust.
我感觉你是个好人 值得我信任的人
I will find your remote control, PK.
我会帮你找到遥控装置的 PK
How’s that?
怎么找?
Now I don’t know yet.
现在还不知道
But you definitely will go back to your house.
但你一定会回家的
That’s my promise.
这是我的承诺
Why are you looking like that?
你怎么这么看着我?
At you.
我在看你
Its not everyday alien come to my house.
我家可不常有外星人来
So… in your world,
那么… 在你的家乡
everyone’s ear is as big, is it?
那里每个人的耳朵都是这么大?
The same. And they all walks nude?
一样 他们都不♥穿♥衣服吗?
Don’t you feel strange?
你不觉得很奇怪吗?
See that bird, sitting there nude.
看那只鸟 也是没穿衣服坐那儿的
Is it feel strange?
它有没有觉得奇怪呢?
If it’d wear clothes, then it looks strange.
要是它穿了衣服才奇怪了呢
PK.
PK
I did not sleep all night yesterday.
我昨天一夜没睡
I was thinking how to get your remote control.
我在想怎么拿到你的遥控装置
Hello. Connect to Balbir Singh, Room No.4.
喂 请接四号♥房♥的巴贝尔·辛格
Wrong number.
打错了
Is this not a hospital?
这里不是医院吗?
Bro, you get a wrong number, since yesterday I said that.
你拨错号♥码了 我昨天就说过了
How did I get the wrong number? I have save the phone number personally.
我怎么会拨错号♥码的? 我亲自存的电♥话♥号♥码
Okay, so what did you thought?
好吧 那你是怎么想的?
Hello. Connect to Balbir Singh, Room No.4.
喂 请接四号♥房♥的巴贝尔·辛格
You call late. Why?
你电♥话♥打得太晚了 怎么了?
Balbir Singh died this morning.
巴贝尔·辛格今天早上去世了
What do you mean…
你什么意思…
How did one’s who are having haemorrhage surgery die?
但是做大出血手术的人怎么会死的?
Its unfortunate. But don’t worry.
很不幸 但是别担心
Let’s write in death certificate it’s a heart attack.
可以在死亡证明上写是死于心脏病发
So that family’s reputation will not be ashamed.
这样不会影响家庭声誉
So come on. OK. Take the body.
别担心 好的 来领遗体吧
OK OK then, bye.
好的 好的 再见
How can you say that?
你怎么能那么说呢?
Its nothing, Now he’ll go to hospital. Think about it.
没事 现在他会去医院 想想吧
He’ll see his friend is live and how happy he will be.
他要是看到他朋友还活着得有多高兴
He always call for wrong number, so I’m having a little fun with him.
他总是打错电♥话♥ 所以我只是和他开个小玩笑
Fun… PK I was joking.
玩笑… PK 我是在开玩笑
I understood. I saw the whole game. They’re kidding.
我懂了 我看明白整个游戏了 他们在开玩笑
Mr.Tapaswi had called God.
塔帕兹给神打了电♥话♥
He citing prayer and whatever.
他在电♥话♥里祈祷还是什么
But all his calls is wrong number.
但是他却拨错了电♥话♥号♥码
A person who answered his call is joking with him.
接他电♥话♥的人都在戏弄他
Or else, how can he get my remote control from Shiva?
否则 他怎么能从湿婆拿到我的遥控装置?
It looks like…
就好像…
Those who speak with God in this world
这个星球上给神打电♥话♥的人
have a messed up telecommunications system.
都有一套混乱的通讯系统
Every call went to the wrong number.
每个电♥话♥都拨错号♥码了
What do you mean? I always thought…
你什么意思? 我总是在想…
why God did not answer my problem.
为什么神不回答我的问题
They say to scroll down to get to him.
他们说俯身可以接近他
Tell me. We are all children of God, right?
告诉我 我们都是神的孩子 对吗?
So which dad will tell their children…
那么哪个爸爸会告诉他们的孩子…
scroll down to me and everything will be done.
朝我俯身 一切就都能解决
Have your dad ever told you that?
你♥爸♥爸这么对你说过吗?
“Child, scroll down to me if you want to have a new outfit”.
“孩子 你想买♥♥新套装的话就跪拜我吧”
And there’s giving away milk too.
还有牛奶
If the call go to the right number, then what will God say?
如果没有拨错号♥码 那么神又会说什么呢?
What will He say?
他会说什么?
He’ll say, every day millions of hungry children
他会说 每天都会有数以百万计的饥饿孩子们
are on the road sleeping in Delhi.
睡在德里的马路上
Let them drink milk. Why would I drink the milk?
让他们喝牛奶吧 为什么要把牛奶给我?
I’m sure there’s someone joking with us.
我想一定有人在和我们开玩笑
Like what you did just now.
就像你刚才一样
PK think that Tapaswi is an honourable man.
PK觉得塔帕兹是个诚实的人
But I won’t have him confuse right now.
但我现在不能把他搞糊涂了
Because there’s a good idea came to my head.
因为我脑中有了一个好想法
An idea that can bring back PK’s remote control.
一个帮PK拿回遥控装置的好想法
Who is this PK?
谁是PK?
Who? Where he come from? I know nothing of that.
谁? 他从哪儿来? 我都一无所知
But he can see this world unlike any of us see this world.
但是他看到的东西和我们看到的不一样
What does that mean? Means…
什么意思? 意思是…
if he see you smoke,
如果他看见你抽烟
he’d call police and tell someone’s want to suicide.
他可能会报♥警♥ 说有人想要自杀
Why? Because it clearly shows at the pack,
为什么? 因为香烟盒上明确写了
that smoking leads to cancer.
吸烟可以引起癌症
What are you trying to say?
你想说什么?
Talk.
和他谈谈
I would like PK to talk.
我希望PK能公开♥发♥表言论
I want him to talk in a show on television.
我希望他能在电视上做一个访谈节目
Evaluate some values in people’s mind.
评估一下人类的思想价值观
Jaggu, there’s already three marks on my right side but…
嘉谷 我右边已经有三个伤疤了 但是…
now you want the left side too
你现在想要我左边也来三个
so that both sides are balanced, or what?
来两边平衡一下吗 还是怎样?
No Jerry, it’s important to put PK.
不 杰里 让PK上节目很重要
He will explain with love,
他会用爱去解释
that everyone has call a wrong number.
人们为什么会打错电♥话♥
Tapaswi can not imagine how he would deal with this PK.
PK会打塔帕兹一个措手不及的
Jerry, Jerry.
杰里 杰里
He’s sitting out there. See him once.
他就坐在外面 去见他一面吧
I challenge you, you can not answer his questions. Trust me.
我敢打赌 你回答不了他的问题 相信我
Sir, your cigarette fell just now. Oh, thank you.
先生 你的香烟掉了 谢谢你
This is not mine.
这不是我的
Kamasutra, Strawberry flavor.
“爱经”安全套 草莓味
I hate strawberries!
我讨厌草莓!
Ask others. It’s not mine.
去问别人 这不是我的
Madam, is this yours?
太太 这是你的吗?
How dare you?
你怎么敢问我这个?
Just check your wallet. Maybe something’s missing.
检查一下你的钱包 也许有什么东西丢了
Who are you? You rude.
你是谁? 真无礼
Uncle, this is yours, then? No, it’s not.
叔叔 这是你的吗? 不是
PK, it is his.
PK 这是他的
If you want to ask anything, ask him.
如果你想问清楚 就问他吧
Come in.
请进
What is this?
这是什么?
It’s condom.
这是安全套
What’d it do?
这是用来干什么的?
To control world population.
用来控制世界人口
How’s that? Have to wear it
怎么用呢? 戴上它
while having sex.
当你做♥爱♥的时候
You control world population by wearing it?
你通过它就能控制世界人口了?
How?
如何做到的?
It’s not me wearing it.
不只是我使用它
Millions of people wear those things.
成千上万的人都用它
All of them get it from you?
他们都从你这里得到这东西?
Everybody’s got those things.
每个人都有它