我的个神啊（2014）

So where can I find the thief?
那我该去哪儿找他?
Hey wierdo. There are two million people in this city…
听着二货 这个城市有两百万人口…
Policeman is human. Not God.
警♥察♥也是普通人 又不是神
Only God can help you.
只有神能帮你
Hold God’s two legs. He’s the only one able to help you.
好好求求神去吧 只有他能帮你了
Only God know. How can we know?
神才知道 我怎么知道?
God know where, get out.
神知道在哪儿 滚开
Have faith in the God, son.
要始终相信神 小子
Who is God? Everyone said only He can help me.
神是谁? 每个人都说他才能帮我
When I ask a question, everybody say His name.
当我问问题时 每个人都会说他的名字
The more I heard about Him, the more confuse I become.
我听他的名字越多 我就越困惑
The people of this world…
这个世界的人…
made them as pictures…
把他们做成画像…
They themselves made a place for him in one place.
他们甚至为那个人专门修建了住处
There are even streets in his house.
他的宅子里居然还有街道呐
Hundreds of thousands of people go to him.
成百上千的人涌向他
He solve everyone’s problems for a small amount of charges.
只消花费少量的金钱 便能让他解决难题
This kind of magic didn’t exist in my world.
这种神奇的事我们那儿可没有
I could not believe it.
简直让人不敢相信
But I thought I should try it once or twice.
不过我觉得试一两次也不错
Give me a God, brother.
给我个神 哥们
Which one you want?
要哪个? 这个二十卢比…
This here is Rs.20… 50… 100… 500…
这个五十… 一百… 五百…
What’s the difference between Rs.20 and 500 ones?
二十和五百的有什么区别吗?
Only the size, everything else is the same.
只是大小不同 其他都一样
The Rs.20’s will work too, right?
那二十卢比的也有用 对吧
Ok, Rs.15 then…
好吧 你就给十五吧
O God, I am very hungry.
神 我很饿
Give me something to eat.
请赐予我食物
I’ve become totally out of control.
我真是高兴坏了
This God is working.
这尊神像居然有用
Now I can go to my home.
我终于可以回家啦
God, someone took my remote control.
神啊 有人拿走了我的遥控装置
Please bring it back, I want to go home.
请把它还给我 我想回家
Sir, is this God out of battery?
先生 这个神像是不是没电了?
I just used it once, then it broke.
我才用了一次就坏掉了
What do you mean… ?
你说什么… ?
I mean, put a new battery in him.
我是说 帮我换个新电池
It doesn’t need any battery.
这东西根本不需要电池
Then why this does not work?
那怎么会没用了呢?
Is it a defect one?
这不会是个残次品吧?
No, I made it perfect.
才不是 我的手艺可是很好的
Is it you who created this God?
你创造了这座神?
Yes, from my hands.
没错 纯手工打造
Did you created God or did God created you?
你创造了神还是神创造了你?
God created us all.
所有人都是神创造的
But we make only His sculptures.
我们只是做出他的雕像而已
Why create his sculptures?
要雕像有什么用?
So that we can pray to Him.
方便大家祈祷啊
Tell Him about our joys and sorrows.
这样就可以向神倾诉快乐和悲伤
There’s been installed a communication device?
这里面装了通讯设备吗?
How do we hear God say?
我们怎么能听见神说什么呢?
God does not need any transmitter.
神才不需要什么设备
He hear directly.
他能听到一切
If He hear directly, then whats the need for sculpture?
如果他能听到一切 那还要这些雕像做什么?
What am I going to do with this man…
我该拿你这小子怎么办才好
Trying to end our business, huh?
想砸我们的生意 嗯?
What is your problem?
你脑子有病吧?
My remote control has been stolen. I asked God…
我的遥控装置被偷了 我想请神…
To tell me where it is.
告诉我去哪儿找
Are you peekay?
你是不是喝醉了(PK)?
What does that mean?
什么意思?
Bro, this small God can not do something big like that…
哥们 这个小小的神办不了这么大的事
He can’t capture the thief, the legs is short.
他可抓不了小偷 你看腿这么短
Go inside the temple. There is a big God.
去庙里 那里有大的神
Catch his feet. He run very fast.
使劲求他 他跑的可快了
Give Him this nuts and some money to him. Your job will be done.
送给他这些坚果再添点钱 就妥妥的了
That will be Rs.200.
这些二百卢比
Everyone was waiting for their turn carrying nuts and money.
所有人都带着坚果和钱等着轮到自己
to make their work done.
想完成自己的心愿
Two hours later, it was my turn.
两个小时后 终于到我了
Oh God…
神啊
God… Give me back my remote control.
神 请把我的遥控装置还给我吧
B… where is it? Hurry, please.
可是…它在哪儿? 快点啦
Hold on, my remote control’s not received yet.
等等 我的遥控装置还没拿到手呢
Sir… He’s not getting the job done,
先生… 他还没处理完我的事呢
I already gave money.
我可给了钱的
You job will be done.
你的事情他自会处理的
When will it be…?
那是什么时候…?
Who can say when my son? Your job will be done.
谁知道呢年轻人? 你的事情他自会处理的
Move it. But when can I get my item?
快走 可我什么时候才能拿到东西?
Do not hold the queue, Go ahead.
你挡住后面的人了 快走
What if I move ahead and someone else get my thing?
我走了 他把东西给了别人怎么办?
Are you peekay?
你是不是喝多了(PK)?
Hold on, ma’am. What are you doing?
等等 女士 你干嘛?
But where can I get my goods?
我去哪儿拿我的东西?
You will find it in a mental hospital.
去精神病院找吧
What? Paid money here, and delivery at mental hospital?
什么? 为什么在这付钱 还要去精神病院拿?
Get this man out!
把这家伙弄出去!
Hey, at least give me receipt.
嘿 至少给我个收据好吧
Give me receipt so that I can ask the man when can I get delivery?
没有收据我去拿东西的时候怎么跟人家证明?
Go on. Please go.
走吧 快走
But… but my remote control.
可是… 可是我的遥控装置
I can’t find my sandals.
我的拖鞋不见了
Must be someone take it away.
肯定被别人穿走了
Wear someone else’s sandals then.
你也穿别人的呗
Thats what happen at temples anyway.
寺庙这里每天都如此
Someone’s take a full payment, but never did the job.
有人拿了钱不办事
Say his name.
名字
Bhagwan (God) say the full name.
薄伽梵 (神) 说全名
Don’t know his full name.
不知道全名
Where’d he live?
他住在哪儿?
There, in front of the temple.
就那边 庙前面
You gave the money to his own hand?
你亲手把钱交给他的?
No, I put it in a box.
不是 我放到箱子里了
He said that your job will be done? He does not speak.
他承诺了会替你办事? 他没说话
Why? He’s mute? Maybe…
怎么? 他是哑巴? 可能吧…
Absolutely. Right…
肯定是 好吧
Tell me his appearance.
告诉我他的长相
He looks like this.
他跟这个长得一样
Just the size is large.
只不过更大些
Come here… Come here…
过来 过来
You’re peekay?
你喝多了吗(PK)?
Err… Yes, but how do you all know that?
呃… 是的 你们为什么都叫我这个?
Am I blind?
你以为我瞎了?
20 years of police work.
我当了二十年警♥察♥
Just by seeing I can tell who’s drunk and who’s not.
抬眼一瞧就知道你是不是喝多了
Mr.Singh, search him.
辛格警官 搜他身
Give me his ID.
给我他的身份证
Dr. D’Mello.
德梅洛医生
Oh Dr. why did did you drink so much that you forgot your religion?
你怎么喝了这么多 都忘记自己的信仰了?
You’ve mistaken between temple and church.
你把寺庙和教堂搞混了
You go to your church.
你去教堂吧
To your own God.
找你的上帝
Church?
教堂?
Get out of here. But my item.
出去 可是我的东西
Beat it. Get out.
别管了 快走
Because of you, God have been crossed.
都因为你上帝才被钉上了十字架
What? Nailed? God?
什么? 钉上去的? 上帝?
When? 2000 years ago.
什么时候? 两千年前