他们躲在背后时不时地偷看一下
They hid and peeped out occasionally.
我对那女孩说：“有两个男孩在偷看我们”
“Two boys are looking at us,” I said to the girl.
那女孩叫卡特琳娜
Her name was Katarina.
“让他们看好了” 她说 并翻过身来
“Let them look,” she said, and turned over on her back.
我当时感觉很滑稽
I had a funny feeling.
我想跳起来 穿好衣服
I wanted to jump up and put my suit on,
但我仍然俯卧在那里
but I just lay there on my stomach with my bottom in the air,
镇定自若 一点也不觉得尴尬
unembarrassed, totally calm.
而卡特琳娜就在我的旁边
And Katarina was next to me
大腿和乳♥房♥♥都露在外面
with her breasts and big thighs.
她只是不断的傻笑
She was just giggling.
我注意到男孩们正在向我们走近
I noticed that the boys were coming closer.
他们就站在那里看着我们
They just stood there looking at us.
我看出他们的怯懦
I noticed they were very young.
那个大胆点的开始接近我们…
The boldest one approached us…
并蹲在卡特琳娜的旁边
…and squatted down next to Katarina.
他假装是在拨弄自己的脚趾
He pretended to be busy picking his toes.
我感到非常奇怪
I felt very strange.
突然 卡特琳娜对他说
Suddenly Katarina said to him,
“嗨 你 你怎么不过来？”
“Hey, you, why don’t you come over here?”
然后她拉着他的手帮他把裤子和衬衫脱下来
Then she took his hand and helped him take off his jeans and shirt
突然他就骑到她的身上
Suddenly he was on top of her.
她指引着他 抓着他的屁♥股♥
She guided him in and held his butt.
另一个男孩就坐着看
The other boy just sat and watched.
我听到卡特琳娜笑着和那男孩耳语
I heard Katarina whisper in the boy’s ear and laugh.
他的脸就对着我的脸
His face was right next to mine.
那是一张红彤彤的胖脸
It was red and swollen.
突然我转过去 对他们说
Suddenly I turned and said,
“能不能也到我这来？”
“Aren’t you coming to me, too?”
卡特琳娜说：“去她那吧”
And Katarina said, “Go to her now.”
他便从她身上下来
He pulled out of her and…
然后骑到我身上 很粗鲁
then fell on top of me, completely hard.
他抓着我的乳♥房♥♥
He grabbed my breast.
那很痛！
It hurt so much!
我很快便就被征服了 并马上兴奋起来
I was overwhelmed and came almost immediately.
你能相信吗？
Can you believe it?
我想告诉他小心点 别让我怀孕了…
I wanted to tell him to be careful not to make me pregnant…
他高♥潮♥来临时…
…when he came.
我有一种从未有过的体验…
I felt something I’d never felt in my life…
他把精♥液♥于射入我的体内
how his sperm was shooting inside me.
他抓着我的肩膀向后仰
He held my shoulders and bent backwards.
我来了一次又一次
I came over and over.
卡特琳娜躺在那里看着 从后面抱住他
Katarina lay there watching and held him from behind.
完事后 她就抱着他
After he came, she took him in her arms
用他的手来自♥慰♥
and used his hand to make herself come.
快到高♥潮♥时 她就叫得像个女妖
When she came, she screamed like a banshee.
我们三个都开始笑
The three of us started laughing.
我们又叫了那个还在斜坡上的男孩
We called to the other boy, who was sitting on the slope.
他叫彼得
His name was Peter.
他在阳光下瑟瑟发抖 满是困惑不解的表情
He seemed confused and was shivering there in the sunshine.
卡特琳娜解开他的裤子 和他玩
Katarina unbuttoned his pants and started to play with him.
他快射时 她就把它放在她嘴里
And when he came, she took him in her mouth.
他弯下身去 吻她的背
He bent down and kissed her back.
她转过身去 用双手抱住他的头
She turned around, took his head in both hands,
把她的乳♥房♥♥给他
and gave him her breast.
另一个男孩非常兴奋 我们又开始了
The other boy got so excited that he and I started all over again.
还和前一次一样美妙
It was just as nice as before.
然后我们一起游泳 之后就分道扬镳了
Then we had a swim and went our separate ways.
回到家时 卡尔·亨里克已经从镇上回来了
When I came home, Karl-Henrik was already back from town.
我们共进晚餐并喝了点红酒
We had dinner and some red wine.
然后我们开始做♥爱♥
Then we had sex.
我感觉从来没有那么好过 不论是从前或之后
It had never been that good, before or after.
你能理解吗？
Can you understand that?
当然 我怀孕了
And I got pregnant, of course.
卡尔·亨里克正在攻读医学
Karl-Henrik, studying to be a doctor,
带我去一个同事那里堕了胎
took me to a colleague who carried out the abortion.
我们无所谓 因为我们并不想要孩子
We were both pleased. We didn’t want to have children.
至少那时候不想要
Not then, anyway.
这太没意义了
It doesn’t make any sense.
这一切都不对
None of it fits together.
为些小事而内疚
You feel guilty for little things.
你能理解吗？
Can you understand that?
你下决心去做的一切事情
And what happens to everything that you make up your mind to do?
都有必要做吗？
Is it necessary to do it all?
有可能同时成为另一个人吗？
Is it possible to be one and the same person
我是说两个人…
at the same time? I mean, two people?
噢 上帝 真是无聊
Oh, Lord, it’s so silly.
根本就没有理由去哭
No reason to start crying.
我去拿块手帕
I’ll get a handkerchief.
天快亮了
It’s almost morning.
还在下雨
And it’s still raining.
想像一下 不停的讲
Imagine, talking incessantly.
我一直在讲 你一直在听 你一定很烦
I’ve been talking and you’ve been listening. How boring for you.
我的生活有什么值得你感兴趣吗？
What could possibly interest you about my life?
我应该像你一样
I should be like you.
你知道那晚我看了你的电影之后有什么想法吗？
You know what I thought after seeing your movie that night?
回家对着镜子 我想
When I came home and looked in the mirror, I thought,
“我们很相像”
“But we look alike.”
别误会我 你是如此完美
Don’t misunderstand me. You’re more beautiful.
但在某些方面…我想如果我努力的话 可以变得和你一样
But somehow… I think I could change myself into you if I tried.
我是说 内在的
I mean, inside.
你也可以成为我 就这样
You could be me, just like that.
但你的灵魂太深邃 那样你会吃不消的
But your soul would be too big. It would stick out everywhere!
去睡吧 不然你会在桌上睡着的
Go to bed. Otherwise, you’ll fall asleep at the table.
我得去睡了 否则我会在桌上睡着的
I have to go to bed now or I’ll fall asleep at the table.
那样肯定不舒服
That would be uncomfortable.
晚安
Good night.
伊丽莎白
Elisabet.
昨晚你和我讲话了吗？
Did you speak to me last night?
你到过我房♥间吗？
Were you in my room?
要我给你带信吗?
Shall I take your mail, too?
亲爱的 我想永远这样生活下去
My dear, I could live like this forever.
沉默 过隐居的生活 无欲无求
Silent, living a secluded life, reducing my needs,
感觉我破碎的心灵终于开始愈合了
feeling my battered soul finally starting to smooth itself out.
艾玛在照顾我 用最令人感动的方式宠爱我
Alma takes care of me, spoils me in the most touching way.
我相信她很喜欢这样而且很喜欢我…
I believe that she likes it here and that she’s very fond of me…
也许她甚至在用一种无意识却令人迷醉的方式在爱我
perhaps even in love in an unaware and enchanting way.
无论如何 研究她是一件很有趣的事情
In any case, it’s very interesting studying her.
有时她为过去的罪孽哭泣
Sometimes she cries over past sins…
和陌生男孩的纵情以及随后的堕胎
an orgy with a strange boy and a subsequent abortion.
她声称自己的感觉
She claims that her perceptions
和行为是不一致的
do not correspond with her actions.
你在看剧本
You’re reading a play.
这是很健康的迹象 我会告诉医生的
That’s a healthy sign. I’ll tell the doctor.
你觉得我们是不是很快就要走了？
Do you think we’ll leave soon?
我有点想念城市了 你呢？
I’m starting to miss the city. Aren’t you?
你想让我真正幸福吗？
Would you like to make me really happy?
我知道这对你是一种牺牲 但现在我需要你的帮助
I know it’s a sacrifice, but right now I could use your help.
不用冒什么险
Nothing dangerous.
我只是想让你跟我聊聊
I just want you to talk to me.
没什么特别的
Nothing special.
我们什么都可以谈…比如说晚餐吃什么
We could talk about anything… what to have for dinner,
你是否觉得雨后水会有点冷
if you think the water is cold after the rain,
不适合游泳
if it’s too cold to go swimming.
就聊一会儿 一分钟
Just talk for a few minutes. One minute.
你也可以大声朗读 只要你说句话就可以了
You could read aloud, just say a couple of words.
我在尽量控制我的脾气 而你还是保持沉默
I have to try not to get angry. You remain silent.
那是你的特权 但现在我需要你跟我说话
That’s your prerogative, but now I need you to talk to me.
亲爱的 求求你 难道你一句话也不能说吗？
Dearest, please, can’t you just say one word?
我就知道你会拒绝
I knew you would refuse.