家长指导（2012）

Beam me up.
你们每人都会有这样一部便携版
You all get these portables…
如果有什么问题的话
and if there are any problems,
特纳对整个系统非常了解
Turner understands the whole system.
特纳吗
Turner does?
如果特纳了解的话 我肯定就不行了
Well, if Turner can do it, I certainly can’t.
爱丽丝 这里真是太漂亮了
Alice, this is so beautiful.
工作怎么样 爸爸 这个赛季战况如何
How’s work, Dad? How’s your season?
很好 这个赛季很不错
Very good. Yeah, we had a good season.
很多孩子也都不错
Yeah, a lot of good kids.
其实 你♥爸♥爸每次广播结束还是会说
You know, your dad still signs off every broadcast,
爱丽丝 熄灯了
“Lights out, Alice.”
-真的吗 -是的
– Really? – Yeah.
爱丽丝小的时候
See, when Alice was a little girl,
我很少有机会哄她睡觉
I wasn’t home a lot to put her to bed…
因此我都会在广播中说
so on the radio I would say…
熄灯了 爱丽丝 之类的话
“Lights out, Alice,” And it sort of stuck, you know?
那真是不错
Wow, that’s really nice.
是啊
Yeah.
我原来也觉得不错
I thought so.
这是什么
What’s this?
一些照片
It’s some photos.
孩子的爷爷奶奶看起来真开心
Pipi and Papi look great.
你们在这儿
Here you are.
是啊
Oh, yeah.
这张照片是我拍的
I took that picture!
那天真是美好的一天
That was a great day, yeah.
阿屁尿裤子了
Farty wet his pants!
巴克 室内说话小声点
Barker, indoor voice.
阿屁尿裤子了 阿屁尿裤子了
Farty wet his pants! Farty wet his pants!
都是水枪惹的祸
Guns.
太烫了 你要干什么 烫死我了
That’s so hot! What are you doing? It’s too hot!
那你自己来
Here, do it yourself.
又怎么了
What’s the matter?
-你意识到我们的处境了吗 -什么处境
– Do you realize what we are? – What?
我们只是他们的外公外婆
We’re the “Other” Grandparents.
我们也不能同时兼做爷爷奶奶啊
We can’t be all four.
严肃点
I’m serious.
他们对自己的爷爷奶奶
They have their real grandparents
充满爱戴 还把他们的照片摆到桌子上
that they love and put up on the mantle…
再看看我们
and then there’s us.
把那些照片摆出来的是谁呢
And who’s putting those pictures on the mantle?
是我们的女儿 她根本没有站在我们这边
Our daughter. She is not sticking up for us.
我觉得孩子们甚至不知道我的工作是什么
I don’t think the kids even know what I do.
或者我曾经的工作是什么
Or did.
听着 阿蒂 我知道你被辞了
Look, Artie, I know you’re upset
心情很沮丧
about getting kicked in your career…
但我们要集中精神 伙计
but we need to focus, buddy.
我要让外孙们喜欢我
Our grandchildren are going to love me.
-那我怎么办 -与我无关
– What about me? – That’s your problem.
欢迎光临
Welcome!
– 你好吗 – 你好吗
有新朋友来 你们好
New people. Hello.
这是我的父母 他们这周会照看孩子们
These are my parents. They’re going to watch the kids this week.
欢迎来到康虎餐厅
Welcome to Healthy Tiger.
品尝泛亚洲健康美食
All healthy Pan Asian food.
什么健康美食
What’s that?
无味精 多粗粮 少放盐
No MSG, no gluten, no sodium.
就是健康美食
Just healthy food.
我已经开始流口水了
I’m drooling already.
泛亚洲 就像我一样
Pan Asian, just like me!
我母亲是日本人 父亲是中国人
My mother’s Japanese, my father’s Chinese…
我的孩子们都是韩国籍 上希伯来走读学校
my kids are Korean and they go to Hebrew day school.
欧耶
Oy vey!
走吧
Come on. Yeah!
中国美食就是这样被糟践了的
How do you ruin Chinese food?
这里好像多了一把椅子
We seem to have an empty chair.
不不 那是留给卡尔的
No, no, that chair is for Carl.
-卡尔是谁 -是巴克的朋友
– Who’s Carl? – Barker’s friend.
是吗 他什么时候来
How nice. When’s he coming?
他就坐在那儿啊
He’s already here.
嗨 卡尔 你看起来很帅
Hi, Carl. You look great.
你剪头发了吗
Did you get a haircut?
告诉他吧
Tell him.
卡尔是巴克幻想的朋友
Carl is Barker’s imaginary friend.
他是一只袋鼠
He’s a kangaroo.
也许我们应该去澳大利亚内陆吃饭
Maybe we should have eaten at the Outback.
孩子们 洗手去
Kids, go wash your hands.
走吧 卡尔
Come on, Carl.
拜拜 阿屁
Bye, Farty.
他现在正处在挑战底线的成长阶段
He’s in a real “Testing the boundaries” Phase.
而且 他还有点不开窍
Plus, he’s also a little constipated.
双关语 又指便秘
这个我最擅长了
Now, you’re talking my language.
我有办法让他改变
I have some stuff that will blow his mind.
他们甚至用这炸通了英法海底隧♥道♥
They used it to blast out the Chunnel.
感谢你 亚瑟王
Thank you, Lord Arthur.
你们有什么特别需要我们注意的吗
Now, do you have any special instructions for us?
比如 孩子们都喜欢做什么 喜欢吃什么
Like, what the kids like to do, what they like to eat.
有的 妈妈 谢谢提醒
Yes, Mom, great. Thank you.
首先 他们不能吃糖
First of all, they don’t eat any sugar.
连凯菲的甜品都不能吃吗
No Carvel?
凯菲 美国冰淇淋蛋糕品牌
这真是我听到的最悲惨的事了
That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
我们曾经试着让他们吃一点糖
We have tried to introduce just a little bit of sugar…
不过他们就像脱轨的火车 管都管不住
and it was like going off the rails of the crazy train.
天哪
Oh, my gosh!
还有一件事我想跟你们商量一下
And there’s another subject I’d like to discuss.
说吧
Sure, anything.
你说话的方式
Your language.
他不会骂人的 如果他敢我就打折他的胳膊
He won’t curse. I’ll break his freaking arm.
很好 不过我说的不是这个
That’s great, but that’s not what I meant.
你看 我们跟孩子交流是有独特的方式的
You see, there’s a way that we talk to our kids.
比如 当你想说不行的时候
For instance, where you would say “No”…
我们会说 考虑一下后果
we would say, “Consider the consequences.”
当你说不要做某件事情的时候
Or where you would say, “Don’t”…
我们会说 也许你应该试试这么做
we would say, “Maybe you should try this.”
或者当你说
Or where you would say…
别哭哭啼啼的了 听得我头疼
“Quit your whining, you’re giving me a headache”…
我们会说 好好说话
we would say, “Use your words.”
这种说话方式孩子们会觉得
You see, that way, the child feels
他们是重要的 有价值的
that he has value, he has worth.
觉得他们的想法得到了倾听
He is heard.
这确实是一种方法
It’s a way.
点菜吧
Let’s order.
好的
Great.
画的很不错 但如果你画在划线区域内
That’s very good, but if you stay
看起来会更好
inside the lines, it looks better.
看看我画的 看到了吗
Here, look at mine, see?
爸爸 我们其实不太关心划线区域的问题
Dad, we don’t really worry about lines.
宝贝 你怎么想的就怎么画
Honey, draw whatever your imagination tells you.
那这些线存在还有什么意义 如果只是
But what’s the point of having lines if you’re just going to…?
阿蒂
Artie.
画的真漂亮 真是太漂亮了
That’s beautiful. That’s absolutely beautiful.
画的真前卫
It’s very avant-garde.
-就像毕加索 -没错
– Picasso. – Exactly.
你怎么没吃完饭
You didn’t finish your dinner.
中国食物最美妙之处就是
You know the great thing about Chinese…
我是说 泛亚洲食物最美妙之处在于
I mean, Pan Asian food, is that
如果你搅拌到一起吃 就会
if you mush it all up it’s…
怎么了
What happened?
-你刚做了什么 -我不知道
– What did you do? – I don’t know.