弄巧成拙 Once Upon a Crime…（1992）

帮我收拾行李，我们得离开这里!
Help me pack. We got to get out of here!
没错！我们把尸体留在这里，然后离开!
Right! We’ll leave the body here and get the hell out!
我们要把它带走。– 老婆，别傻了!
We’re taking it with us. – Marilyn, don’t be an idiot!
你偷了一个装着女人尸体的行李箱…
You steal a suitcase with a dead woman inside…
你还叫我白♥痴♥？！
and you call me an idiot?
我们不能把尸体留在这里。
We can’t leave the body here.
我们有在这家旅馆登记的！
We’re registered in this hotel!
没错！非常聪明！好想法!
Right! Very smart! Good thinking!
从现在开始，尼尔，我说了算。
From now on, Neil, I call the shots.
明白吗？ — 收到!
Understand? – Perfectly!
我不想听你说你咋想的我们该怎么做…
I don’t want to hear what you think we should do…
或者你为什么认为我们应该这么做。
or why you think we should do it.
闭嘴，听命令。明白了吗?
Shut up and take orders. Is that clear?
完全明白！
Completely!
好的，那么我们该怎么办呢? — 我们把尸体扔了…
OK. So what do we do? – We’ll ditch the body…
跳上一列火车，和这里说永别。
hop a train, and blow this pop stand.
我喜欢！我非常喜欢它!
I like it! I like it a lot!
尼尔！– 我闭嘴。
Neil! – I’ll shut up.
听着，好吧，我不知道我为什么在这里。
Look, OK, look, I don’t know why I’m here.
我也不知道我为什么回来。
I don’t know why I came back.
我很困惑，但我们还是拿上那该死的箱子走吧。
I’m confused, but let’s just get the damn suitcase and go.
好的。
OK.
不，不，不。你……你……你最好待在这儿……
No, no, no. You… you… you better stay here…
只是以防万一，– 我会没事的。
just in case. – I’ll be fine.
不，真的，你待在这里。
No, really, you stay here.
万一发生什么事……上帝保佑……
If anything should happen… God forbid…
你就跑，好吗? — 好的。
Run, OK? – OK.
你知道，尽管劝我不要这么做…
You know, feel free to talk me out of this…
如果你愿意的话。
if you want.
朱利安……谢谢。
Julian… thanks.
站住！警♥察♥！– 别开枪！我是个演员！
Stop right there! Police! – Don’t shoot! I’m an actor!
你在这里做什么?
What are you doing here?
我在这里做什么？你们在这里做什么?
What am I doing here? What are you doing here?
你是怎么进来的？ — 穿过大门。
How did you get in? – Through the gate.
大门是开着的? — 直都开着。
It was open? -It’s always open.
你之前来过这里？– 不 ，我…
You’ve been here before? – No, I…
你想偷什么？– 偷？没什么。我不是小偷。
What are you trying to steal? – Steal? Nothing. I’m no thief.
我当然不是杀人犯。
I’m certainly no murderer.
谋杀？ 谁说要谋杀了?
Murder? Who said anything about murder?
我不知道。– 尸体在哪？
I don’t know. Stephen King. – Where’s the body?
我不知道，我只看到了她的手。
I don’t know. I only saw her hand.
谁的手？ — 范·杜根夫人的。
Whose hand? – Madame Van Dougen’s.
你怎么知道那是范·杜根夫人的手?
How do you know it was Madame Van Dougen’s?
我只是猜测，这是一个常见的名字。
I’m just guessing. It’s a common name.
尸体在哪里? — 我是什么，殡仪师吗?
Where’s the body? – What am I, a mortician?
尸体在哪里? — 在车♥库♥。
Where is the body? – In the garage.
这是什么？ — 什么，这个?
What is this? – What, this?
实际上，这是一个脚链。
This is an ankle bracelet, actually.
我喜欢把它穿在裤子外面……
I like to wear it over my pants…
或者随意地套在袖口里……诸如此类吧。
or thrown kinda casually in the cuff… either way.
这对你来说恐怕太时髦了吧。
It may be too trendy a look for you.
链子上的首字母是你的吗？
And the initials on the clasp are yours?
当然是我的了。
Of course they’re my initials.
其实并费我名字的首字母……
They’re not the initials of my name, per se…
但它们对我有特殊的意义……
but they have special meaning to me…
有点个人意味的东西。
something of personal significance.
其实没有首字母。
There are no initials.
但我祝贺你成为了一名出色的演员。
But I congratulate you on being a very fine actor.
什么都没有。
There is nothing.
我想你需要一位律师了，先生。
I believe you will need an attorney, monsieur.
一个律师吗？我觉得更需要的是一个经纪人。
An attorney? What I need is an agent.
哦，上帝呀。
Oh, boy.
你看，图森特……
You see, Toussaint…
有罪或无罪往往不是问题所在。
guilt or innocence is quite often not the issue.
让嫌犯说出你想要的结果才是首要。
Persuading the suspect to say what you want is.
所以呢?
How so?
因为他们总是喜欢撒谎……
Because they tend to lie anyway…
即使他们其实也是清白的人。
even if they are blameless.
害怕自证其罪，这是人的本性。
It’s human nature, the fear of self-incrimination.
只有当他们把自己逼入绝境时……
Only when they have painted themselves into a corner…
或者当你小心翼翼地引导他们……
or when you have carefully guided them there…
他们才能指明正确的方向。
do they point the finger in the proper direction.
收起它来吧。
Put it away.
探长吗? — 把它扔掉。
Inspector? – Fut it away.
探长，找到一位目击证人。– 太好了。
Inspector, we have a witness. – Merci.
先生，我是波纳尔探长。
Monsieur, I am Inspector Bonnard.
请告诉我，你到底看到了什么?
Tell me, please, exactly what did you see?
一个男人，一个女人，还有一条狗。他们走进了大门。
A man, a woman, and a dog. They went inside the gate.
几分钟后，他们跑了出来……
A few minutes later, they ran out…
就像他们的裤子着火了一样。
like their britches were on fire.
好的，几点的事。– 一点，或者一点半。
I see. What time was this? -1:00, 1:30.
看看这个人。
Look at this man’s face.
是这个男人吗? — 是的，就是他。
Is this the man you saw? – Yes, this is he.
是个瞎子。
This guy’s blind.
你晚上早些时候来过这里吗?
Were you here earlier in the evening?
没有。
No.
你是带着一个女人和一条狗一起旅行吗?
Are you traveling with a woman and a dog?
不是。
No.
你能认出那只狗吗?
Would you be able to identify the dog?
是的，当然可以。那是一只腊肠犬。
Yes, of course. It was a dachshund.
很好。你以前从没来过这里?
Good. So you’ve never been here before?
你一个人旅行?
You’re traveling alone?
我们必须找到那条狗，这狗是关键。
We must find the dog. The dog is the key.
我为什么要杀人?
Why would I want to kill somebody?
保持安静。– 你们抓错人了。
Be quiet. – You got the wrong guy.
保持安静。– 我早听你说过了。
Be quiet. – I heard you the first time.
你是什么，鹦鹉吗? — 你会说英语?
What are you, a parrot? – You talk English?
你是陈查理吗（美国作品中的华人探长）?– 带他上车
Are you Charlie Chan? – Take him to the car.
我怀孕了。
Pregnant.
我也有一个手镯，想给你看看。
I, too, have a bracelet I’d like to show you.
我希望它们合适你，因为这是我的职责，先生……
I hope they fit, because it is my duty, monsieur…
通知你，你因涉嫌谋杀而被捕了。
to inform you that you are under arrest on suspicion of murder.
找个搬运工!
Get a porter!
是的，先生？搬运工，来……到这里来。
Oui, monsieur? Porter, come… come here.
我拿到了。
I got it.
去哪里，先生? — 嗯…玛，我们去哪里?
Where is it going, monsieur? – Uh… Mar, where’s it going?
从这个车站出发最远到哪里？
What’s the longest trip it can take from this station?
马德里。– 那去马德里。
Madrid. -It’s going to Madrid.
给得太多了吧！– 给他!
That’s too much money! – Fay him!
天啊，我爱你。我娶了一个天才。
Oh, God, I love you. I married a genius.
扣上衬衫扣子，你长得像你妈妈。
Button your shirt. You look like your mother.
我很抱歉。
I’m sorry.
我们走了，老婆。
We’re moving, Marilyn.
我们开拔了，你做到了。我们自♥由♥啦！
We’re moving. You did it. We’re free!
先生，您的手提箱上错火车了。
Monsieur, your suitcase was going on the wrong train.
非常感谢。谢谢，不过不用了，谢谢。
Thank you very much. – Merci, but no, thank you.
一条隧♥道♥，用法语怎么说?
A tunnel. How do you say in French?
Les……tune-al……很可怕。
Les… tune-al… is la scary.
你简直才华横溢。
You’re brilliant.
有什么要申报的吗?
Anything to declare?
没有，只有我对你们美好国家的爱和尊重。
Just my love and respect for your fine country.
法兰西万岁!
Vive la France!
哪一个是您的手提箱，先生?
Which one is your suitcase, monsieur?
它不见了！它刚才就在那里。
It’s gone! It was right there.
要我说，这家伙有点可疑。
There’s something fishy about this guy if you ask me.
这是我的手提箱，– 请打开它。
This is my suitcase. – Open it, please.
当然，这只是一个普通的旧手提箱。
Sure. It’s just a regular old suitcase.
我有一年作为圣诞节礼物收到的，经常带着它旅行。
I got it for Christmas one year. Travel a lot with it.
让我们看看这里有什么。
Let’s see what we have in here.
还是老样子……衬衫，内衣，袜子。
Same old things… shirts, underwear, socks.