上班一条虫（1999）

I’m not the one who’s been flakin’ out at work.
我不是那个在办公室打瞌睡的人。
但你是不是也该想想你自己？
I’m not the one who’s been flakin’ out at work.
我不是那个在办公室打瞌睡的人。
我知道你有这个习惯，
I know you had this religious experience or whatever the hell that was…
我不是那个在办公室打瞌睡的人。
我知道你有这个习惯，
I know you had this religious experience or whatever the hell that was…
but you’d better snap out of it and get your shit together, or you’re gonna get canned.
但你最好加把劲，不然你就会被开除。
but you’d better snap out of it and get your shit together, or you’re gonna get canned.
但你最好加把劲，不然你就会被开除。
Yeah, and, uh… and I… Listen.
但你最好加把劲，不然你就会被开除。
Yeah, and, uh… and I… Listen.
对，但，嗯，听好…
Yeah, and, uh… and I… Listen.
对，但，嗯，听好…
那个你经常提及的电脑病毒…
That virus you’re always talking about, right?
对，但，嗯，听好…
那个你经常提及的电脑病毒…
That virus you’re always talking about, right?
那个可以从公♥司♥中捞得大钱的病毒…
The one that could rip off the company for a bunch of money.
那又怎么样？
– Yeah, what about it? – Well, how does it work?
嗯，他的原理是怎样的？
It’s pretty brilliant.
这病毒是伟大发明。
What it does is, every time there’s a bank transaction where interest is computed…
在每次银行转账时，
这病毒是伟大发明。
What it does is, every time there’s a bank transaction where interest is computed…
在每次银行转账时，
将会有上千次的利息计算。
you know, thousands a day, the computer ends up…
在每次银行转账时，
将会有上千次的利息计算。
you know, thousands a day, the computer ends up…
计算中将会产生小于一分钱的小额，
with these fractions of a cent, which it usually rounds off.
这些小额会被省略。
What this does is, it takes those little remainders and puts it into an account.
这电脑病毒拿走这些小额，
这些小额会被省略。
What this does is, it takes those little remainders and puts it into an account.
这些小额会被省略。
What this does is, it takes those little remainders and puts it into an account.
把他们存进一个户口里。
– This sounds familiar. – Yeah, they did it in Superman III.
– 这听起来很熟悉。 – 他们在电影“超人第三集”演过。
– Right, uh… – An underrated movie, actually.
彼得：对…
– 这听起来很熟悉。 – 他们在电影“超人第三集”演过。
– Right, uh… – An underrated movie, actually.
– 这听起来很熟悉。 – 他们在电影“超人第三集”演过。
– Right, uh… – An underrated movie, actually.
迈克尔：这电影的评论不太好。
And a bunch of hackers that did it in the ’70s as well. One of them got busted.
在70年代曾经有黑客做过这事。
迈克尔：这电影的评论不太好。
And a bunch of hackers that did it in the ’70s as well. One of them got busted.
在70年代曾经有黑客做过这事。
– 现在他们有注意这问题吗？ – 没有 ? 原因是这样的：
– Well, so they check for this now. – No, here’s the thing.
在70年代曾经有黑客做过这事。
– 现在他们有注意这问题吗？ – 没有 ? 原因是这样的：
– Well, so they check for this now. – No, here’s the thing.
Initech’s so backed up with all the software we’re updating for the year 2000…
我们公♥司♥太依赖我们更新的软件，
they’d never notice.
他们从未注意到。
You’re right.
说得对。
And even if they wanted to, they couldn’t check all that code.
即使他们想查， 他们也没法看完所有的源程序。
说得对。
And even if they wanted to, they couldn’t check all that code.
即使他们想查， 他们也没法看完所有的源程序。
迈克尔：他们惨了，惨了。
Thumbs up their asses. Thumbs up their asses.
即使他们想查， 他们也没法看完所有的源程序。
迈克尔：他们惨了，惨了。
Thumbs up their asses. Thumbs up their asses.
彼得：那么你为什么不做这病毒？
So, Michael, what’s to stop you from doing this?
不值得冒这个险。 我现在的工作很好。
It’s not worth the risk. I got a good job.
假如你没有一份好工作呢？
What if you didn’t have a good job?
Cock-gobblers!
迈克尔：妈的混♥蛋♥！
Cock-gobblers!
迈克尔：妈的混♥蛋♥！
Samir and I are the best programmers they got at that place.
森米尔和我是他们最好的程序员。
Samir and I are the best programmers they got at that place.
森米尔和我是他们最好的程序员。
And you, you haven’t been showin, up, and you get to keep your job.
森米尔和我是他们最好的程序员。
And you, you haven’t been showin, up, and you get to keep your job.
你最近都没上班，但你能保住工作。
– Actually, I’m being promoted. – What?
不止，我被升职了。
你最近都没上班，但你能保住工作。
– Actually, I’m being promoted. – What?
不止，我被升职了。
– 什么？！ – 我知道，迈克尔。
I know, Michael. It’s completely unfair.
不止，我被升职了。
– 什么？！ – 我知道，迈克尔。
I know, Michael. It’s completely unfair.
这绝对是不公平的。
And I realized something today.
我今天明白了一个道理。
It’s not just about me and my dream of doing nothing.
这并不只关于我和我的一事无成理想。
我今天明白了一个道理。
It’s not just about me and my dream of doing nothing.
这并不只关于我和我的一事无成理想。
这关系到我们全体。
It’s about all of us together.
这并不只关于我和我的一事无成理想。
这关系到我们全体。
It’s about all of us together.
我不知道在那个催眠师里发生了什么事。
I don’t know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist…
and, I don’t know, maybe it was just shock and it’s wearing off now…
可能我只是被刺♥激♥，现在回到现实。
but when I saw that fat man keel over and die…
但当我看着那胖子倒下…
Michael, we don’t have a lot of time on this earth.
迈克尔，人生短暂，
但当我看着那胖子倒下…
Michael, we don’t have a lot of time on this earth.
迈克尔，人生短暂，
我们并不想就这样过一生。
We weren’t meant to spend it this way.
迈克尔，人生短暂，
我们并不想就这样过一生。
We weren’t meant to spend it this way.
人类并不是生来坐在办公室，
Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles…
staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms…
整天看着电脑屏幕，
staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms…
整天看着电脑屏幕，
填没用的表格，
and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.
整天看着电脑屏幕，
填没用的表格，
and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.
听着八个老板讲演工作目标。
填没用的表格，
and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.
听着八个老板讲演工作目标。
我告诉那两个效率考察员 我喜欢迈克尔伯顿的音乐。
I told those fudge-packers I liked Michael Bolton’s music.
听着八个老板讲演工作目标。
我告诉那两个效率考察员 我喜欢迈克尔伯顿的音乐。
I told those fudge-packers I liked Michael Bolton’s music.
哦，这绝不公平，迈克尔，
Oh. That is not right, Michael.
从五年前起，你拼命工作，
For five years now, you’ve worked your ass off at Initech…
希望得到晋升或分红等机会。
hoping for a promotion or some kind of profit-sharing or something.
五年了，
Five years of your mid-20s now gone.
你的人生黄金时间已过。
And you’re gonna go in tomorrow, they’re gonna throw you out on the street.
当你明天去上班时，
你的人生黄金时间已过。
And you’re gonna go in tomorrow, they’re gonna throw you out on the street.
你的人生黄金时间已过。
And you’re gonna go in tomorrow, they’re gonna throw you out on the street.
他们就把你甩到门外。
You know why?
他们为了什么 –
So that Bill Lumbergh’s stock will go up a quarter of a point.
使比尔伦堡的股票能上升半点。
他们为了什么 –
So that Bill Lumbergh’s stock will go up a quarter of a point.
使比尔伦堡的股票能上升半点。
嗯。
Ugh.
使比尔伦堡的股票能上升半点。
嗯。
Ugh.
迈克尔，让我们把他的股票搞砸，
Michael, let’s make that stock go down…
从公♥司♥捞得足够的钱，
and let’s take enough money out of that place…
从而我们永远也不用坐在那小办公室。
so that we never ever have to sit in a cubicle ever again.
你的病毒没问题，对吗？
Your software works, right?
当然没问题，但这不重要。
Of course it works. That’s not the point.
Look, even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know how to install it.
即使我想做，我不知道怎样安装它。
I don’t know the credit union’s software well enough. Okay?
我不太熟悉信用社的软件，OK?
Yeah.
对，但森米尔会。
But Samir does.
– But, Peter, that’s not much money. – That’s the beauty of it.
森米尔：但这不是太多钱。
– But, Peter, that’s not much money. – That’s the beauty of it.
– But, Peter, that’s not much money. – That’s the beauty of it.
彼得：这正是它的魅力所在。
Each withdrawal, that’s a fraction of a cent. That’s too small to notice.
每次转账，金额低于一分钱， 不易被察觉。
彼得：这正是它的魅力所在。
Each withdrawal, that’s a fraction of a cent. That’s too small to notice.
每次转账，金额低于一分钱， 不易被察觉。
But a few thousand withdrawals a day, you space it out over a couple of years…
每次转账，金额低于一分钱， 不易被察觉。
But a few thousand withdrawals a day, you space it out over a couple of years…
但每天有上千次转帐，
But a few thousand withdrawals a day, you space it out over a couple of years…
But a few thousand withdrawals a day, you space it out over a couple of years…
当几年后，
that’s a few hundred thousand dollars.
那就会是几十万元。
– It’s like Superman III. – Superman III… What…
就像电影“超人第三集”一样。
那就会是几十万元。
– It’s like Superman III. – Superman III… What…
那就会是几十万元。
– It’s like Superman III. – Superman III… What…
森米尔：“超人第三集”？
Look, I have to leave now, okay?
我要走了。 我要准备我的简历。
I have to get my résumé ready.
彼得：为了一份他们可以随时解雇你的工作？
Get your résumé ready? For what? For another job where they can just fire you for no reason?
森米尔：对，如果我幸运的话。
That’s right! If I’m lucky!
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m tired of being pushed around. Aren’t you?
我厌倦了被♥操♥控于人，你呢？
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m tired of being pushed around. Aren’t you?
我厌倦了被♥操♥控于人，你呢？
是，但我不会做任何非法的事。
Yes, Peter! But I’m not going to do anything illegal.
我厌倦了被♥操♥控于人，你呢？
是，但我不会做任何非法的事。
Yes, Peter! But I’m not going to do anything illegal.
非法？ 森米尔，这是美国。
Illegal? Samir, this is America!
来，坐下。
Come on. Sit down.
Come on. This isn’t Riyadh.
这里不是利雅得。
They’re not gonna saw your hands off here, all right?
他们不会把你的手锯掉。
这里不是利雅得。