然后
And, uh…
这里是卧室 有干净床单
Bedroom. There’s clean sheets.
今天真的很开心
Today’s been a good day,
以当前的情形来说 真的很…
which in the circumstances is…
让人意外
unexpected.
谢谢
Thank you.
总之
Anyway, um,
该上♥床♥睡觉了
time for bed.
或者上沙发睡觉了
Or sofa bed.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
Good night.
天啊
Oh, my God.
有人吗
Hello?
你好
Hello.
-斯派克 -我想和你稍微谈谈
– Spike. – I wonder if I could have a little word.
-好吧 -我不是想干涉你
– Right. – I don’t want to interfere or anything,
但她刚和男友分手 是吧
but she’s just split up from her boyfriend, right?
可能是吧
Maybe.
她现在住在你家
And she’s in your house.
是的
Yes.
且你们相处得挺好
And you get on very well.
是的
Yes.
那这难道不是一个很棒的机会去…
Well, isn’t this, perhaps, a nice opportunity to…
趁虚而”入”吗
slip her one.
斯派克 老天啊 她正处于困境之中
Spike, for God’s sakes. She’s in trouble.
别胡思乱想
Just get a grip.
你觉得这时机不对 行吧
You think it’s the wrong moment. Fair enough.
-那你介意我试试吗 -斯派克
– Do you mind if I have a go? – Spike!
-好吧 -我明早再来找你聊
– Okay. – I’ll talk to you in the morning.
行吧
Okay.
到时候可能太迟了 但好吧
Might be too late, but okay.
拜托 快滚吧
Please, sod off.
-好吧 -别别别
– Okay. All right. – No. No, no!
等等 我刚刚以为你是…别人
Wait! I thought you were, um, someone else.
我以为你是斯派克 结果不是 太好了
I thought you were Spike. I’m thrilled that you’re not.
怎么了
What?
没什么
Nothing.
我就是突然想到
It does strike me as,
我居然能看你的裸体了 这太不真实了
well, surreal that I’m allowed to see you naked.
-你和全国人♥民♥都看到了 -对不起
– You and every person in this country. – I’m sorry.
男人对裸体的痴迷到底是怎么回事
What is it about men and nudity, huh?
尤其是乳♥房♥♥
Particularly breasts.
-你们男人为何对它这么感兴趣 -这个嘛…
– How can you be so interested in them? – Well…
不过就是乳♥房♥♥而已啊
But, seriously, they’re just breasts.
世界上所有女人都有乳♥房♥♥
Every second person in the world has them.
其实不止 你想想
More than that, when you think about it.
本名迈克尔·李·艾德
美国男歌♥手 体重超过三百磅
肉卷的乳♥房♥♥就很好看
Meat Loaf has a very nice pair.
但乳♥房♥♥看上去很古怪啊
But they’re odd-looking.
它们的存在是为了哺乳 比如你妈妈也有乳♥房♥♥
They’re for milk. Your mother has them.
你肯定看过很多乳♥房♥♥ 有什么新奇的
You’ve seen a thousand of them. What’s all the fuss about?
其实 我真的想不出来原因
Actually, I can’t think what it is, really.
让我瞧瞧
Let me just have a quick look.
不 不行 这可问倒我了
Nope, nope. Beats me.
影星丽塔·海华丝曾说过
Rita Hayworth used to say,
“陪他们入眠的是吉尔达 醒来看到的却是我”
“They go to bed with Gilda, they wake up with me.”
吉尔达是谁
Who was Gilda?
她最出名的角色
Her most famous part.
男人想着梦中女神入睡 然后…
Men went to bed with the dream, and…
醒来面对着现实却难以接受
they didn’t like it when they woke up with the reality.
你也有这种感觉吗
Do you feel that way?
你今早前所未有得迷人
You are lovelier this morning than you have ever been.
我马上回来
I’ll be right back.
床上早餐
Breakfast in bed.
算作早午餐或午餐也行
Or it’s brunch or lunch or something.
天呐
My God.
我能多留一会儿吗
Can I stay a bit longer?
永远留下吧
Stay forever.
好吧 忘了拿果酱
Okay. Oh. Forgot the jam.
我去拿果酱 你去开门
I’ll get the jam, you get the door.
老天爷啊
Jesus Christ.
怎么了
What?
怎么回事
What is it?
-没什么 真的 -肯定有事
– Nothing, really. – You’re up to something.
安娜 不要
Anna, no, please!
天呐
My God.
你穿成这样 被他们拍下来了
And they got a picture of you dressed like that.
是的
Yes.
这样衣衫不整
Undressed like this, yeah.
-早上好 亲爱的两位 -是我 记者追过来了
– Morning, darling ones. – It’s me. The press are here.
不 成百上千的记者
No, there are hundreds of them.
我的绝妙计划显然不够绝妙 我知道
My brilliant plan was not so brilliant. I know.
我知道 我知道 快过来吧
I know. I know. Just get over here.
该死的
Damn it.
-我建议你别出去 -为什么不
– I wouldn’t go outside. – Why not?
相信我就行了
Just take my word for it.
我看起来如何 还不赖
How did I look? Not bad.
还真不赖 内♥裤♥挑得好
Not at all bad. Well-chosen briefs, I’d say.
小妞们都爱灰色
Chicks love gray.
屁♥股♥紧翘
Nice firm buttocks.
你怎么样
How are you doing?
你觉得我怎么样
How do you think I’m doing?
-我不知道怎么回事 -我知道
– I don’t know what happened. – I do.
你那位毛茸茸的朋友觉得
Your furry friend thought
他可以跟媒体透露我的行踪来挣一笔钱
he’d make a buck telling the papers where I was.
-不是这样的 -真的吗
– That’s not true. – Really?
全英国的记者今早醒来
The entire British press got up this morning
都想到 “我知道安娜·斯科特在哪里”
and thought, “I know where Anna Scott is.
“她在诺丁山那座有着蓝色大门的房♥子里”
She’s in that house with the blue door in Notting Hill.”
然后你穿着该死的内♥裤♥开门了
Then you go out in your goddamn underwear!
-我也穿着该死的内♥裤♥开门了 -快出去
– I went out in my goddamn underwear too. – Get out!
对不起
Sorry.
我很抱歉
I’m so sorry.
局面一塌糊涂 难以置信
This is such an unbelievable mess.
我为了逃离漫天绯闻 来到你身边自保
I come to you to protect myself against more crappy gossip,
现在我再次深陷其中
and now I’ve landed in it all over again.
老天爷啊 我可是有男朋友的
For God’s sake, I’ve got a boyfriend!
-你有吗 -在外人看来是的
– You have? – As far as they’re concerned I do.
没错 明天全世界的报纸上
Yes. And now, tomorrow there’ll be pictures of you
都会印着你的照片
in every newspaper from here to Timbuktu!
我知道 但是… 冷静点吧
I know that, but… just let’s stay calm.
-你自己冷静吧 -好吧
– You stay calm! – Right.
好吗 这对你来说再好不过吧
Alright? This is a perfect situation for you, isn’t it?
最小的投入得到最多的关注
Minimum input, maximum publicity.
不管你走到哪 人们都会说 “你可真厉害”
Everywhere you go, people will say, “Well done, you.
“你睡了那个女演员 我们都看到照片了”
You slept with that actress. We saw the pictures.”
-你这么说太不公平了 -这是你的
– That is spectacularly unfair. – That’s yours.
谁知道呢 这甚至可能对你的生意有帮助
Who knows? Maybe it’ll even help business.
买♥♥一本关于埃及的无聊书吧
Buy a boring book about Egypt
就去那个跟安娜·斯科特上♥床♥的男人那里买♥♥
from the guy that screwed Anna Scott.
别走 别走 求求你
Stop! Stop! I beg you!
冷静点 不如喝杯茶吧
Calm down. How about a cup of tea?
我才没心情喝什么茶
I don’t want a goddamn cup of tea.
我只想回家
I just wanna go home.
斯派克 去看看是谁
Spike, see who that is,
记得穿上衣服 老天爷
and put some clothes on, for God’s sake.
我觉得是个司机
Looks like a chauffeur to me.
斯派克欠你一顿豪华晚餐或一次昂贵旅行
Spike owes you an expensive dinner or holiday,
取决于谁有脑子算得清背叛的价格
depending who’s got the brains to get the going rate on betrayal.
不是这样的 等等
That is not true. Wait a minute.

你的评论可以尖锐,也可以湿疣!