丑闻笔记（2006）

芭芭拉
他连续两个礼拜每天都来
Barbara, he came every day for two weeks.
我是受宠若惊，但不只如此
Yes, l was flattered, but more than that.
我很兴奋
遇到有心想学习的人
l was excited to find someone
who wanted to learn.
他5百年前就想出这种直升机
太不可思议了
And he imagined this sort of helicopter
500 years ago. lt does your brain in.
但想必你怀疑过他的动机吧？
But surely you must have
suspected his motives?
我察觉到他有点喜欢我
但那又怎样？
l sensed he had a little crush on me,
but so what?
只是纯真的感情
lt was innocent.
好多了，指关节画得很好
That’s so much better.
You’ve absolutely got that knuckle.
我抓到诀窍了
Nailed it.
-再来一次，老师
-别闹了，你快走吧
– Do that again, Miss.
– Don’t be silly. Off you go.
-你喝茶要配什么，老师？
-可能回家途中去买♥♥点东西
– What are you having for tea, Miss?
– Probably buy something on the way home.
-你厨艺好吗？
-不太好
– Are you a good cook?
– Not really.
能干吗？
You suck?
快回家吧，史帝文
Go home, Steven.
-当时你就应该及时打住
-我有啊
– That’s when you should have stopped it.
– l did.
我说不能再教他了
l told him l wouldn’t teach him anymore.
但他拒绝接受
还是一直来找我
But he refused to accept it.
He just kept coming back.
老师！
Miss!
我开始觉得这是个秘密
lt began to feel like our secret,
秘密有时很…诱人
and secrets can be seductive.
-要不要散散步？
-当然不要
– D’you wanna come for a walk?
– Absolutely not.
我要回去陪家人，你也一样
l’m going home to my family. As should you.
老师！
Miss!
我爸爸失业了
他把气出在我身上
My dad’s got the sack.
He’s been taking it out on me.
他爸爸殴打他
他不想跟妈妈说，因为她生病了
His father hit him.
He didn’t tell his mum because she was ill.
-你妈妈知道吗？
-肾脏病
– Does your mother know?
– Kidney disease.
-等了好几个月要动手术
-他好可怜啊
– lt’s taking months for an operation.
– He was so vulnerable.
他再打你，你就跟我说
lf he does it again, you tell me.
谢谢老师
Thanks, Miss.
你好美，老师
You’re beautiful, Miss.
你不知道自己有多美
You don’t know how beautiful you are.
好久没人这样追求我了
l hadn’t been pursued like this for years.
我知道这是不道德的错误
而且是荒谬至极
l knew it was wrong and immoral
and completely ridiculous,
我不知道
but l don’t know.
反正就顺水推舟了
l just allowed it to happen.
那个学生才15岁！
The boy is 15!
-但他在同龄学生中算早熟的
-「但是」并不能成为理由
– But he’s quite mature for his age.
– ”But” is not a helpful word here.
听起来有点病态吧
This is going to sound sick,
但我内心总觉得我有资格这么做
我成年以后一直安份守己
but something in me felt entitled.
You know, l’ve been good all my adult life.
我是好妻子，也是尽责的母亲
费心地照顾班恩
l’ve been a decent wife,
dutiful mother, coping with Ben.
我心里有个声音在说
「为何不能使坏？」
This voice inside me kept saying,
”Why shouldn’t you be bad?”
「为何不能违反道德？
你有权偷腥啊」
”You know, why shouldn’t you transgress?
You’ve earned the right.”
我叫你出去，丹佐
其他同学请继续画画
l said get out, Denzel.
The rest of you get on with your work, please.
快点！
Hurry up.
今晚8点来找我
苏珊打电♥话♥来
我能不能去陪她喝一杯？
Sue phoned. OK if l meet her for a drink?
好，我会哄小班睡觉
Sure. l’ll put bug-a-lugs to bed.
老师好
Evening, Miss.
放轻松
Make yourself comfortable.
这件事一定要保守秘密
lt’s incredibly important we keep this secret.
-有人知道你来吗？
-没有
– Does anyone know you’re here?
– No.
老师
Miss.
我不是天才，但我也不是笨蛋
l’m no genius, but l ain’t a dickhead.
我不会说出去的
l won’t tell no one.
你可以相信我
You can trust me.
咱们俩都会惹祸上身的
We’d both get into terrible trouble.
很简单，就好像明知快醉了
lt was easy, like having another drink
又再喝一杯酒
when you know you shouldn’t.
我可以抽烟吗，老师？
Can l smoke, Miss?
想怎样随你
但别再叫我老师了
You can do what you want,
but enough of this ”Miss.”
你以前当过模特儿吗？
Were you a model once?
你应该当模特儿
你身材很好
Well, you should have been.
You’re well fit.
天哪，我自己最清楚
Gosh, but don’t l know it.
你喜欢「街头小子」？
You’re into The Streets?
我女儿喜欢
Well, my daughter is.
她跟我同年吗？
ls she the same age as me?
不关你的事
None of your beeswax.
反正重点是你身材很好
Well, anyway, the point is you’re fit.
你也是
Well, so are you.
真的？我姐说
我是长满麻疹的丑八怪
You reckon? My sister thinks
l look like a bollock with measles.
这句话还真毒啊
You’ve done my brain in.
要不要再做一次？
You wanna do it again?
怎样？
What?
好
Yes.
我想再做一次
l wanna do it again.
我想再做一次
l wanna do it again.
我们认识的那天
The day we met
就已经开始了？
it had already begun?
对
Yes.
明天早上去副校长室报到
Deputy head in the morning.
你是护主心切，康纳利
下次要动口，别动手
Noble sentiment, Connolly.
Next time, words, not fists.
两个都给我进教室
Get inside, both of you.
-你们那天有再私会吗？
-我们去美术教室
– And you had further relations that day?
– We went to the art room.
很高兴我有催情功用
本来是想帮你的
Well, l’m glad l was such an aphrodisiac.
l was trying to help you.
你是帮了我，我铭感五内
You did. l’m incredibly grateful.
你是我的好朋友啊
You’ve been such a good friend.
似乎是狗咬吕洞宾
Not reciprocated, it seems.
我恨不得能向你坦承一切
l desperately wanted to confess to you.
但我怎么能说？
But how could l?
Barbara?
我会害你陷入进退维谷的窘境
lt would have put you
in an impossible situation.
早知道我就说了
l so wish l had.
你会让我恢复理智
You would have made me see sense.
我惊觉自己是被愤怒给蒙蔽了
And then l realized my fury had blinded me.
眼前有个千载难逢的好机会
There was a magnificent opportunity here.
能不能进去？我快冷死了
Can we go inside? l’m absolutely freezing.
我或许能悄悄地保全战利品
With stealth,
l might secure the prize long term,
长此以往欠我一辈子的人情
forever in my debt.
我想要什么都能得到
l could gain everything
却什么事也不必做
by doing nothing.
听好
Look,