丑闻笔记（2006）

经常有人向我倾诉
他们的秘密
People have always trusted me
with their secrets,
但我要把秘密托付给谁？
but who do l trust with mine?
你，只有你
You. Only you.
片名：丑闻笔记
新学期的第一天
The first day of a new term.
本地穷酸没教养的青少年都来了
Here come the local pubescent proles,
未来的水管工和店员
或许偶尔也会出恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
the future plumbers and shop assistants
and doubtless the odd terrorist, too.
过去我们没收的
都是香烟和色情书刊
ln the old days,
we confiscated cigarettes and wank mags.
现在是刀子和快克可♥卡♥因♥
Now it’s knives and crack cocaine.
他们还说这叫进步呢
And they call it progress.
汤尼！
Tony.
哈特太太，美术老师
Mrs. Hart, art department.
1517年马丁路德在德国温登堡
把他的95条论纲
ln 1517 Martin Luther nails his 95 points
to a church door
钉在教堂的门上
in Wittenberg.
恶毒老太婆
Poison granny.
滚开，讨厌鬼
Piss off, you prick.
在开会之前，还没交报告的人
Before we begin, for those of you
who haven’t delivered your reports,
请依照我的指示丢过来吧
谢谢比尔，谢谢玛丽
please lob them in my general direction.
Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Mary.
谢谢约翰，谢谢伊莲
Thank you, John. Thank you, Elaine.
都见过新美术老师希巴哈特没？
Has everyone met our new art teacher,
Sheba Hart?
这次开会我请希巴来旁听
各位都知道
l’ve asked Sheba to sit in on this meeting.
As you all know,
我很重视美术课程
这是潜移默化的好方法
l regard the arts as absolutely essential
to our policy of reform through nurture.
谢谢克里斯，非常好
Thank you, Chris. Very good. Very good.
谢谢苏珊，好厚的一叠啊
Thank you, Sue.
l say, that’s a big one, isn’t it?
我要熬夜到天亮才看得完了
l’ll be up till the crack of dawn!
还有谁没交作业？好吧
谢谢各位
Anyone else not handed in their homework?
Right, and… Thank you.
好极了，谢谢
Lovely. Thank you.
芭芭拉？
Barbara?
这是你的报告？历史就这一页？
This is your report?
On the history department?
对课程的内容
和你对未来发展的想法？
On its entire workings and your general
thoughts for its future development?
校长，麻雀虽小，五脏俱全
You’ll find it’s quite thorough, Headmaster.
「以这种水平和素质的学校而言
历史课程和期望中相去无几」
”The history department functions as one
would expect for a school of this intake.”
「测验成绩30年以来都是持平
”Examination results
have been consistent for 30 years,
不及全国平均值
却也不是无可救药」
below the national average
but above the level of catastrophe.”
「建议：没有改变的必要」
”Recommendation: no change necessary.”
我花了几乎整个暑假才写好的
lt took me most of the summer to write it.
很难看出新老师的真面貌
Hard to read the wispy novice.
滚开，讨厌鬼
Piss off, you prick.
她是谜样人物？还是个笨蛋？
ls she a sphinx, or simply stupid?
好了，请别再讲电♥话♥
把手♥机♥给我
All right. Off the phone, please.
Give me the phone.
今天是艺术家的不修边幅
Artfully disheveled today.
苏格兰呢邋遢外套
令我深恶痛绝
The tweedy tramp coat is an abhorrence.
似乎在说： 「我像你一样」
lt seems to say, ”l’m just like you.”
但显然她不是
But clearly she’s not.
我怀疑她是不食人间烟火
A fey person, l suspect.
不食人间烟火
Fey.
传过来，我在这里
Come on, come on, pass it.
Yes, l’m over here!
Yeah!
-把衣服穿好
-老师，我踢中决胜分
– Put your shirt on.
– l got the winner.
很光荣啦，衣服！
Glory be. Shirt!
她果真在静水池里激起一阵涟漪
She has certainly rippled the waters
of our stagnant pond.
他们都簇拥而上
They flock to her.
就连娘娘腔布莱恩也哈她
好可怕啊
Even limp little Brian had a go. Oh, the horror.
-你好
-你好
– Hiya.
– Oh, hello.
-衣服很好看
-什么？
– That’s a lovely blouse.
– What?
肥婆也巴着她不放
And Fatty Hodge has pounced on her.
暧昧不明的怪异搭档
A dubious double act,
金发美女和扮成女人的懒猪
the blonde and the pig in knickers.
我刚经过美术教室
里面像「苍蝇王」一样
l just went past the art studio.
lt’s like bloody Lord of the Flies,
-学生欺负她吗？
-他们撕她的海报，群起暴♥动♥了
– Have they gone for her?
– Torn her posters down. There’s a paint fight.
喊着： 「露奶给我们看」
女生也是，乱成一团
They’re chanting, ”Get your tits out
for the lads.” Girls, too. lt’s carnage.
-夫人还好吧？
-完全失控， 「住手！兔崽子！」
– How was madam?
– Lost it. ”Stop it, you little fucking bastards!”
-你应该插手管
-他不想对那位小姐施恩
– You should have stepped in.
– He didn’t want to patronize the lady.
明年此时她就当上校长了
This time next year
she’ll be headmistress.
-拜托，能不能闭嘴？
-对不起
– Oh, Christ, will you shut up?
– Sorry. Sorry.
有人要喝茶吗？芭芭拉？
Char, anyone? Babs?
-加牛奶，不要糖
-够甜吗？
– Milk, no sugar.
– Sweet enough?
-看得出来吧
-通货膨胀不是她爸爸发明的吗？
– Evidently.
– Didn’t her father invent inflation?
-什么？
-她爸爸就是那个学者
– You what?
– Wasn’t her dad that academic?
唐纳什么？搞经济的
发明通货膨胀这个名词
Donald whatsit. Economics bloke.
lnvented the word ”inflation.”
对，我懂你的意思了
Oh, yeah. l know who you mean.
哈特太太的父亲是罗纳泰勒教授
通货膨胀不是他发明的
l think you’ll find that Mrs. Hart’s father
was Ronald Taylor. He didn’t invent inflation.
他是构想出通货膨胀
和顾客期望之间的关系理论
He devised a theory about the relationship
between inflation and consumer expectation.
请你放开他！住手！
Davis, get off him! Stop it!
-不对，你才是王八蛋
-住手！
– No, you’re an arsehole.
– Stop it!
-打啊…
-住手！我叫你们别打了！
– Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
– Stop it! Stop it immediately!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
你们会受伤的，快住手！
You’re going to hurt one another!
Now, stop it!
起来！
Davis, get off him!
够了！
Enough!
马上出去！
Outside! Now!
-走开！
-不准说话！安静！
– Fuck off!
– Absolute silence. Absolute!
-哈特老师，他们干嘛打架？
-动机不明
– Why were they fighting, Mrs. Hart?
– Their motive was unclear.
戴维斯，我知道你是个小流氓
你是谁？
Davis, l know. You’re a little thug.
Who might you be?
-史帝文康纳利，老师
-什么？
– Steven Connolly, Miss.
– What?
-史帝文康纳利，老师
-几年级？
– Steven Connolly, Miss.
– Year?
-十年级，老师
-你是脱♥光♥衣服踢足球那个
– Year 10, Miss.
– You’re the naked footballer.
你干嘛打架？
这个问题非常简单
Why were you fighting?
lt’s a perfectly simple question.
-我不知道，老师
-你不知道
– Dunno, Miss.