北好莱坞（2021）

真的
I swear to God.
等下 谁是鲍勃霍普
Wait who’s Bob Hope?
你说啥
What did you say?
鲍勃霍普与士兵那个鲍勃霍普
Bob Hope with the soldiers, Bob Hope.
那个机场是以他命名的
The guy the airport is named after.
鲍勃–好了我知道他了
Bob– yeah, I know Bob Hope. Come on.
如果你不知道谁是鲍勃霍普的话
My mother would roll over in her grave
我妈在坟里都得翻个身 她爱死鲍勃了
if you didn’t know who Bob hope was. She loved Bob Hope.
我还小的时候
When I was a little kid,
她每天晚上都会看他的节目
she’d watch that Bob Hope show every night…
乔伊比绍普也在
and the Joey Bishop.
她喜欢乔伊-比绍普的节目
She loved that Joey Bishop show.
我也会有上电视的一天 老爹
I’m gonna be on TV one day too, pops.
你♥他♥妈♥的怎么会上电视
How the fuck are you gonna be on TV?
老爸 我告诉你我滑板技术非常牛逼
Pops, I’m telling you I’m nice on the board.
你滑板很牛逼
You’re nice on the board?
你啥时侯开始这样说话了
When’d you start talking like that?
爸 我是认真的
Pops, I’m serious.
我也很认真
I’m serious too. Speak the King’s English.
你天天就在那个公园里混
You hang out at that damn park too much.
爸 我在公园拍视频呢
Pops I’m at the park filming.
赞助商会看这些视频你懂吧
You know, sponsors see these videos.
就像 我要去工作
It’s like, I’m goin’ to work.
儿啊 这不是工作
Son, that’s not work!
你需要去学校 你需要受到教育
You need to be on education and school.
听着 我小的时候我妈希望我成为一名邮差
Look, when I was a kid my mom told me to be a postman
因为邮差收入稳定还有福利
because it had steady pay and had good benefits.
对于我这个小孩子来说这太牵强了
For me as a little kid it was way too far fetched.
爸 我总是听到这样的话
Pops, Pops. I hear this all the time.
好吗 我会去上大学
Okay, look it. I’m gonna go to college,
但是我也要滑板
but I’m also gonna skate.
你的重点是大学
Your focus is gonna be on college.
我刚说了我会去上大学
I just said I’m gonna go to college.
你没有-你说上大学和滑板
No, you didn’t. You said college and skating
而且我猜你可以滑
and you can skate, I guess,
但是你的重点是去上大学
but your focus needs to be going to college.
好好好 知道了
All right. All right. I hear you.
嘿 你去哪
Hey, where are you going?
饭快做好了
This thing’s almost done cooking.
你看看
OK, look at you!
我去
Oh my god.
卧♥槽♥
Holy shit!
我的小老弟全部都人模人样的啊
Oh my boy all dressed up for once.
怎么了 今晚有的搞
What’d you expect? My boy tryin’ to smash something tonight?
嗯 “有”
Oh, fo’ sho’.
有你妹 我很绅士的好吧
Hell nah, man. I respect the ladies. All right?
我穿戴整齐 发型优雅
I get dressed up. Get the haircuts.
这就是为什么姑娘们都爱我好吗 等我把皮肤修复下
That’s why women love me, all right? Once I fix the acne…
你肯定需要修复你的痘印–我就是完美的了
Definitely need to fix that. -I’m gonna be perfect.
那是我最喜欢的词 对吧阿道夫
That’s one of my favorite words, right, Adolf?
啥 -“完美”
Why is that? -“Perfect.”
因为如果你在字典里查完美这个词
Because if you look up in the dictionary,
你会看到jay在释义里
the word “perfect,” Jay pops up.
我就是个雕塑级别的男人
Bro, I’m a sculpture, baby.
我就是个满分性感男
10 out of 10. I’m sexy as fuck dude.
你最多三分
You’re solid three bro.
我三分 我明明是
I’m a three? I’m a…
我是–如果我是三分男 你丫就是负两万分
I’m a– if I’m a three, you’re negative 20,000.
这数字他妈的哪来的
W-where the fuck did that number come from?
你从哪
Where the fuck did you…
那你怎么得来的
Where the fuck did you come from, Michael?
所有的妹妹都认为我很性感好吧
All the ladies think I’m sexy.
林赛,莱西,布莱特妮,杰西卡,阿道夫
Lindsay, Lacy, Brittany, Jessica, Adolf.
行 -所有人
Okay. -All of ’em.
我没有 –所有人
Okay. Not me. -No, no. All of ’em!
除了我 -嘿嘿 钱
Okay, not me though… -Hey, schmoney…
我认为 我是个 壕
I think I’m… schmoney!
没错
That’s right.
你没听说过这样搞只会让它更糟吗
Have you never heard that that makes it worse?
没关系的 我啥方法都试过了
Bro, it doesn’t matter. I’ve tried everything.
你需要多试试
You need to try harder.
我吃过药
Bro, I’ve tried pills,
高伦雅芙 牙膏 所有乱七八糟的
Proactiv, toothpaste, all that shit.
哎 这残酷的世界
Oh, it’s a cold world!
讲真 你应该在脸上纹身把这些全盖起来
I mean this in all honesty, you should get face tatts. Cover ’em all up.
真的 纹身可能有用
Bro, a face tat might work.
听好了 我爸说真男人从来不会在法拉利保险杠上贴贴纸
See, my dad always said he’d never put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari.
所以你是个法拉利咯
So, you’re a Ferrari.
没错 老子就是法拉利
Yeah, I’m a Ferrari.
彳亍
Oh, okay.
又寸 傻
Yes. Psych…
嗨麦克
Hey, Michael.
哟 你们怎么样 –不错
What’s up? Y’all good? Good.
给你 宝贝
Here you go, love.
怎么了杰伊
What’s up Jay?
嘿 你怎么样 美女
Hey, gorgeous how you doing?
哥 你不是一直想跟瑞秋在一起吗
Dude. Haven’t you been trying to get with Rachael
从 二年级开始
since like the second grade?
闭嘴行不行
Shut the fuck up, all right?
关于我和瑞秋的冷知识
Fun fact about me and Rachel
我们五年级的时候来了激♥情♥的一火包
we made passionate sex in fifth grade.
真的 -啥
Well, that’s true story. -Bro, what?
五年级的时候我们玩转瓶接吻 对五年级小孩来说接吻和打炮没区别
It was fifth grade “Spin the Bottle.” A kiss in fifth grade is sex.
没错 我们搞了
Yeah, we had intercourse.
我们扌高了
We had the intercourse.
兄弟 认真的
Bro, seriously.
我只有三个月的时间来搞定她
I have three months to seal the deal, all right,
在她上大学之前
before she goes to college.
别给我搞砸了
Don’t fuck this up for me.
为什么你们几个都穿一样的鞋子
So why do you guys all wear the same shoes?
哦 这是我们的滑板小队标志
Oh, it’s our skate crew thing.
你们和女生滑过板吗
Did you ever skate with any girls?
我们会 但是女生滑的都很烂
I mean we would, but girls suck.
你认真的
Seriously?
是啊 我认真的 认真的不得了
Oh no, no. I’m serious. Like dead serious.
等等 你是玩真的 你真的
Hold on. You’re for real, trying to say
认为没有一个女滑手能比得上男滑手
that not one girl skater is better than a guy skater.
一个都没有 这就是我的意思
Not one. That’s exactly what I’m saying.
那销♥售♥部的那个女孩诺贝斯呢
What about that one girl Norabeth in sales?
我是说 她很好
I mean, she’s good.
但与伊绍德-韦尔比的话 根本没有可比性
But compared to Ishod Wair, there’s no competition there.
是的 嗯 还有那个巴西小女孩 海萨
Yeah, well that little Brazilian girl, Haisa,
她比你强
she better than you.
我都不知道那他妈是谁
I don’t even know who the fuck that is.
她肯定不会滑的比我好
She’s for sure not better to me.
我在想 你能说出来这种话也是他妈操了
I just think it’s so fucked up you make the blanket statement
没有一个女孩滑的比男生好 -嗯
not one girl’s better. -Mmm.
行 别误解我 额
Okay. Don’t get me wrong, like I’m pro girl.
就是
Like…
我很爱我的姑娘
I love me some girls.
但是我不能跟你撒谎
I just cannot lie to you.
女孩能做任何男生可以做的事儿
A girl can do anything a guy can do.
这就是我们观点不同的地方了 抱歉
That’s just where we differ. I’m sorry.
这可能不是我们唯一不同的地方
That’s probably not the only place we differ.
操 瑞秋你得了吧
Bitch! Rachel, what the fuck? Come on.
闭嘴吧 -闭嘴
Oh, shut the fuck up. -…up.
你给老子闭
Shut the fuck–
你一点也不好笑
You’re not funny, bro.
把你的脑残嘴闭上把
Shut yo’ dumb ass up.
操♥你♥妈♥ –操♥你♥妈♥
Fuck you bitch. -Fuck you bitch.