北好莱坞（2021）

嘿 麦克 过来一下
Hey, Mike, come here.
老爸 我正在为上教堂做准备呢 怎么了
Pops, I’m getting ready for church. What?
什么叫“怎么了”
What do you mean “what?”
到底咋了
What, what is it?
这儿都成个湖了
It’s like a lake in here.
咋了爸 这太蠢了
Pop, what? This is so stupid.
儿子 水应该在浴缸里
Son, the water is supposed to stay in the shower.
爸 我这辈子每一次洗完澡
Pops, my entire life there has been water
出来的时候水都会流到地板上
on this floor when I get outta the shower.
行 那让我看看你是咋洗的
Okay, show me how you shower.
我要看看你怎么洗
I wanna watch this ritual.
我进浴缸
I get in the shower…
然后我打开水龙头
and I turn the water on.
你不拉浴帘
You don’t tuck in the shower curtain?
不拉 -你应该拉的
No. -You’re supposed to.
爸 这地板还是会湿的
Pops, the floor is still gonna get wet.
地板不会湿 因为这就是浴帘的作用
No, it’s not gonna get wet. That’s what the curtain is for.
地板肯定会湿的 -地板不会湿
Yes, it is. The floor’s gonna get wet. -It’s not gonna get wet.
我这辈子每一次洗澡的时候 而且我肯定洗的比你多
I’ve showered my whole life, and it’s longer than yours.
如果你把浴帘拉上 地板就不会湿
When you put the shower curtain in, it doesn’t get wet.
我不知道 -别走
I don’t know, okay. -Not okay.
这样会毁了地板 这是个问题好吗
This can ruin the floor. This is a problem, okay?
你就这样晃来晃去然后从浴缸里面出来 你都不在乎地板湿了
You just run around and just jump outta the shower, you don’t care that it’s wet?
这儿是什么地方 你学校的更衣室
What does this look like, a locker room to you?
爸 我要去教堂了 -你看看这摊水 这太糟糕了
Pops, I’m gonna go to church. -Look at this, it’s terrible! This is terrible.
这就是不尊重 你看看浴帘 你以为浴帘是干嘛用的
It’s a lack of respect, look at the shower curtain. What do you think the curtain’s for?
你就这样敞开着浴帘洗澡 你个蠢蛋
You just sit there with the shower open? You’re nuts.
我拉浴帘了 我只不过没有把它拉好
I close the shower curtain, I just don’t tuck it in.
你必须把它拉好啊 不然就会成这样子
You gotta tuck it in, otherwise you end up like this.
你真是个天才
You’re a genius.
我真服了 他们有没有给你做过IQ测试
Oh my gosh, are they giving out IQ tests?
咱干脆别上大学了
Maybe we should forget about college.
我就在这呢 兄弟们走
I’m right here. Lets go y’all.
走吧兄弟们
Lets go crew.
麦克 你肯定没问题的 走吧
Hey Mike, you got that shit. Come on!
你最好别搞砸了
You better not fuck this up.
你知道你该干嘛
You already know what you should do.
从老子面前他妈滚开
Get your bitch ass out the way!
你注意点你怎么跟我说话的
You watch how you talk to me!
赶紧他妈的滚开
Get the fuck out the way!
你滚开就完事儿了 我就需要你做这一件事
Just stay out of the fucking way that’s all I need you to do.
我不是在请求你们 -但这也不是我的问题啊
I’m not asking! -Hey, well it’s not my problem either.
说真的你非得现在做吗
Seriously, you have to get it now?
这什么东西 魔法时光
What is it, magic hour?
我要打电♥话♥找人收拾你们这帮狗♥日♥的♥
Oh I’m gonna get numbers on you motherfuckers.
我们就非得在这出招了
Hey, we got that shit right here bro!
你干啥 滚你♥妈♥的♥ 别碰我
What you doing? Goddamn it! No! Stop!
停 结束了 你们必须离开这里
No, this is over! You guys gotta go!
都结束了 现在就给我滚蛋
It’s over. Get out right now.
你们必须得走 -我跟他们说过了
You got to go. -That’s what I told ’em.
我跟他们也是这样说的
That’s what I told ’em.
让我们祈祷
Let us pray.
在生命中有许多时刻
There are many times in life
我们都认为我们是孤身一人
where we think we are alone,
但耶稣与你同在
but Jesus is there.
你并不孤单
You’re never alone.
当我们达成目标
As we achieve our goals,
耶稣与你同在
Jesus is there.
当我们建立友谊
As we build relationships,
耶稣与你同在
also, He is there.
当我们失去友谊
As we break relationships,
耶稣与你同在
He is there.
请重复我说的祷词
Please respond:
“主啊 倾听我们的祷告”
“Lord, hear our prayer,”
我们向主祈祷
for anyone seeking love.
为每一个寻求爱的人
We pray to the Lord
主 倾听我们的祷告
Lord hear our prayers.
为我们愿环游四海的传教士
For our clergy who wished to travel the world.
我们向主祈祷
We pray to the Lord.
主 倾听我们的祈祷
Lord hear our prayer.
请面向你旁边的人并致意
Please turn to your neighbor and bestow peace.
愿基♥督♥与你同在
May the body of Christ be with you?
阿门
Amen.
愿基♥督♥与你 嗨 瑞秋
The body of Christ be… Hey, Rachel.
阿门
Amen.
你在外面看见瑞秋了没
Did you see Rachel out there?
看见了 她太美了
Yeah, she’s fire.
你不准备采取行动
You won’t do anything about it though.
我不会
I won’t.
我要成为职业滑手 我必须专心
I gotta be a pro skater. I gotta focus.
麦克 借一步说话
Michael, a word.
哦
Oooh!
麦克
Michael.
首先 恭喜你
First of all, congrats
从高中毕业了
on graduating high school.
多大的成就啊 年轻人
What an accomplishment, young man.
谢谢
Thank you.
你可能已经知道了 麦克
As you may already know, Michael
我不能再让你的和你的朋友
I can’t be using you or your friends
当教堂的祭坛侍童了
as altar boys here at the church anymore.
这是教区的规定 -我知道 但是你有个成年侍从啊
Archdiocese rules. -I–I know, but, you always have an adult altar server.
所以我想如果佛兰克退下来 – 那很好
So I was thinking if Frank was to step down– -That’s all well and good
但我的意思是佛兰克已经在这里工作两年了
I mean, but Frank’s been part of the seminary for two years now.
你真的想当个牧师吗
Were you looking to be a priest?
我们现在在第五十届北好莱坞滑板公园烧烤大会
We’re here at the 50th annual North Hollywood Skate Park Barbecue.
现场有以赛亚乔丹 诺兰诺克斯
We got Isaiah Jordan, Nolan Knox.
我们享受着这美好时光
We having a good time.
唔 别炸我的场子 冷静
Ooh! Don’t blow my spot up, nigga. Chill!
你♥他♥妈♥闭嘴吧 -来整点吃的
Shut the fuck up. Come get some food!
你咋还在用shoe goo啊
Bro. You still use shoe goo?
我都不信你的破鞋就不用
Can’t believe your broke ass don’t use it.
这玩意儿根本就不好用
Bro, that shit doesn’t dry right.
它会变得又白又脆 恶心得很
It gets all white and flaky. That shit’s disgusting.
你♥他♥妈♥笑个屁啊 土豪
What the fuck are you laughing at, Richie Rich.
我兜里就他妈一块钱 去你♥妈♥的♥
I got a fucking dollar in my pocket, dawg. Fuck you.
你看 以赛亚乔丹和诺兰诺克斯
You see now, Isaiah Jordan and Nolan Knox
那帮人才是真有钱
now those nigga’s rich.
我还以为你不在乎他们
Thought you didn’t fuck with them.
我是不鸟他们 但他们还是很有钱啊
I don’t fuck with them, but they still rich.
什么鬼 -看见没 我们都得变成那样子
What the fuck? -You see, we need to be on that.
赚大钱 到处旅游
Get some money, travel, all that.
我们会发财的 会有一天的
But we will be– we will be on that.
我要把这滑板视频发布出去
I’m gonna put this skate footage out.
一定会爆火
Blow the fuck up.
把咱几个全部带飞
Put us all on.
完事儿了 -兄弟 你是要上大学的人啊
It’s a wrap. -Bro? You’re taking your ass to college.
别比比了
Stop it right there.
OK 我能一边上大学一边玩滑板啊
Okay. I can skate and do college.
你们为啥这样子看对方
And you guys are looking at each other like I’m–
我认真的 -我已经看到杰会加入个什么兄弟会啊
I’m serious! -You think you see Jay joining a frat?
玩玩什么喝酒游戏啊
Gettin’ the beer bong out.
行了行了行了
Yeah. All right. All right. All right.
可怜的大学生
Poor college man.
真有意思
It’s very funny. Very funny.
你们听好 我要一边上大学一边滑板
But look, I’m gonna be in college and skating,
你和阿道夫要去工地上搬砖
you and Adolf are gonna be working on construction.
滚吧 我才不要去工地
Fuck no. I’m not working construction.
喂 工地怎么着你了
Whoa. What’s wrong with construction.
没那么差好吧
That’s not even that bad.
我爸都在工地干一辈子了
Bro. My dad’s worked construction his whole life.