伦敦生活剧场版

“Hello, sweet pea!”
就他身体而言 他的腿太长了
His legs are too long for his body.
“看看这好东西”
“Look at this beauty!”
他举起把尤克里里
He holds up a ukulele
显然是昨晚谁在酒吧给他的
that apparently someone gave him in a pub last night.
就给了他个尤克里里
Just gave him a ukulele.
他说他写了首歌♥
He says he’s written a song.
“我不想听”
“I don’t wanna hear it.”
他又拿起另一把尤克里里
He holds up another ukulele
显然是另一个人
that, apparently, another person…
在另一个酒吧给他的
gave him in another pub.
“生活与你交流的方式总是猝不及防”
“Crazy how the world speaks to you all at once, eh?”
他说他要唱给我听
He says he’s gonna sing his song to me.
然后再教我唱
Then he’s gonna teach it to me.
这样我们都能唱给希拉里听了
So we can both sing it to Hillary.
我说我太忙
I tell him I’m too busy
然后就在吧台后坐着 直到听见他走了
and sit out the back till I hear him leave.
他弹了几下琴 不过
He tinkles a bit, but…
我没听见他唱歌♥
I don’t hear him sing.
那时候小学生们常光顾咖啡馆
Schoolkids used to come into the cafe.
大多是为了看希拉里
Mainly because of Hillary.
主要是 我不会挑礼物
Basically, I’m shit at presents,
两年前波宝过生日
and for Boo’s birthday two years ago,
我手忙脚乱地给她买♥♥了只豚鼠
I panicked and bought her a guinea pig.
她给豚鼠起名希拉里
She called it Hillary.
现在全成我的事了
And now, I’m stuck with it.
我对豚鼠完全无感 觉得它们毫无意义
I didn’t feel anything about guinea pigs. They’re pointless.
可波宝却对希拉里这个礼物郑重相待
But Boo took Hillary very seriously as a gift,
很快 所有事都和豚鼠扯上关系了
and soon, everything became guinea pig related.
我觉得她只是很庆幸
I think she was just relieved
终于有只别的动物和她有关了
to have another animal associated with her.
波宝大概五岁时
When Boo was about five,
有一次她很傻很天真地说了句
she mentioned, on a childish whim, that she…
她喜欢猫头鹰
…liked owls.
结果她一辈子都摆脱不了
For the rest of her life,
和猫头鹰有关的礼物
she got owls.
猫头鹰被套
Owl duvet covers.
猫头鹰钢笔
Owl pens.
关于猫头鹰的书 猫头鹰庇护所之旅
Books about owls. Trips to owl sanctuary.
妈的她恨死猫头鹰了
She fucking hated owls.
跟她提一句猫头鹰 她立刻炸毛
Show her an owl, and she would lose her shit.
而她真正喜欢的 我很清楚
What she really liked, and I knew this…
是螺丝刀
was screwdrivers.
她喜欢得不得了
Just crazy about them.
我们会花上好几个小时卸东西
We’d spend hours unscrewing things.
再把它们拧回去
Screwing them back on.
一直到十岁
She slept with screwdrivers under her pillow
她都枕着螺丝刀睡觉
till she was about ten.
现在想想
Come to think of it,
送个螺丝刀比送个豚鼠
a screwdriver would have been a better present than a…
强多了
guinea pig.
中午了
Midday.
还是没我姐的消息
Still nothing from my sister.
马丁要恨死我了
Martin’s gonna hate me.
我想象着他那苏格兰大脑瓜
I picture his massive Scottish head.
但愿他没把她打得屁滚尿流吧
Hope he hasn’t beaten the shit out of her or anything.
才不会 他做不出这么性感的事
Nah, he’d never do anything as sexy as that.
开玩笑的
I’m joking.
老天
Jesus.
好吧
Okay.
希拉里又肥又黄 还有点小卷毛
Hillary is fat and ginger with frizzy bits.
就像安妮 那个孤儿一样
Like Annie, the orphan.
如果她能长大长肥长成一只豚鼠
If she was grown up and fat and a guinea pig, which, uh…
好吧 谁知道她后来怎么样了
Well, who knows what became of her.
她头上有撮蓬蓬的毛
She’s got this sort of punky bit of fur
像是从脑袋顶上炸出来似的
that explodes off the crown of her head
垂到脸上遮住眼睛
and falls down over her eyes.
让她看起来拽拽的
Makes her look pretty badass.
她总是板着个脸
She has a very straight expression.
波宝总说如果希拉里是乐队一员
Boo always said that if Hillary was in a band,
那她一定会是超级认真的吉他手
she’d be the guitarist that takes the music really seriously.
她对待音乐确实很认真
She did take music seriously, actually.
每次波宝在咖啡馆里放音乐 她就会
Whenever Boo played anything in the cafe, she’d be all…
♪ 从不对你偏袒 ♪
♪ Never took your side ♪
♪ 从不把你诅咒 ♪
♪ Never cursed your name ♪
♪ 我一言不发 ♪
♪ I keep my lips shut tight ♪
♪ 直到你离开 ♪
♪ Until you go-o-o-o-o-oh ♪
她还是鬼鬼祟祟的
She’s also a sneaky little shit.
她知道怎么开笼子门
She knows how to open her hutch door.
我见她开过
I have seen her do it.
她慢慢把小木塞推到刚好掉下来
She pushes the little wood stopper till it just drops out.
门就渐渐开了
And the door swings open.
之后她变身冰棍鼠
Then she freezes.
好像什么都没有发生
Like she hasn’t done anything.
然后 她转过身来
And then, she actually turns herself around
矮下身子爬到柜台上
and lowers herself down onto the counter,
倒腾着小腿儿
little legs kicking,
不时回头看看 仔细观望
looking over her shoulder occasionally, checking.
观望
Checking.
她一激动就会拉出泡小屎
She often does a little poo in the excitement.
到了柜台上后
Then, once landed,
她开始匍匐前进
she creeps.
沿着柜台
All the way along the counter
一路爬到窗户
till she gets to the window.
然后 来到窗边之后
And then, when she gets there,
带着对自♥由♥的狂热
in her frenzy of freedom,
她坐下来
she sits down.
向外望去
And she looks out.
观察这个世界
Watching the world.
如果她是想让我觉得
If she wants me to think
她表现得很有深度 很有意境的话
that she’s really profound and poetic doing that,
那我真没觉得
I’m not rising to it.
显然 豚鼠需要其它豚鼠陪伴
Apparently, guinea pigs need other guinea pigs
不然它们会孤独致死
or they can die of loneliness.
可希拉里从来不需要伴儿
But Hillary never needed a mate.
因为她备受关注
She got more than enough attention.
客人们喜欢她 总有人把她抱在腿上
The punters loved her. She was always on someone’s lap.
她还有波宝 波宝从不会丢下她不管
And she had Boo, who never left her alone.
她们彼此爱慕
They adored each other.
那天早上 波宝男友告诉她
The morning Boo’s boyfriend told her
他和别人上♥床♥了
he’d fuck someone else…
她从我身边径直走过
she walked right past me.
把希拉里从笼子里抱出来
Took Hillary out of her hutch
一起在后院坐了好久
and sat out the back with her for hours.
我给波宝和希拉里读过一个报纸上的故事
I once read a story from the paper to Boo and Hillary
小男孩在教室养仓鼠
about a little boy who repeatedly
他拿铅笔上的橡皮头
stuck rubber-ended pencils
不停地戳仓鼠的菊花
up the class hamster’s asshole
因为他喜欢看仓鼠因震惊睁大双眼
’cause he liked it when their eyes popped out.
后来他被送到了少年训练营
He was sent to a juvenile boot camp.
我当笑话讲的 但是波宝却一脸担心
I read it out as a bit of a joke, really, but Boo was distraught.
“什么”
“What?
“把他送走了吗”
They sent him away?
“可是他需要帮助”
But, but he needs help.”
她的思维经常让人目瞪口呆
She was a surprising person.
“是啊 他用铅笔操了一只仓鼠”
“Yeah, he pencil fucked a hamster.
“还能拿他怎么办”
I mean, what are you gonna do?”
“是啊 可是很明显他不快乐”
“Yeah, but he’s obviously not happy.
“快乐的人不会干这种事”
Happy people don’t do things like that.”
“有道理”
“Fair point.”
“但是 这就是”