伦敦生活剧场版

When I asked her what she meant,
她就假装很努力地打开冰箱门
she used to demonstrate by pretend
来演示给我看
struggling to open a fridge door.
“这样打不开”
“And then you can’t.”
“没事的 这样就行了
“This is all good. This is fine.
我这样也可以”
I wonder if I can…”
“拿到了”
“Yeah.”
或者她会假装看不到地上有什么东西
Or pretending not to be able to see what’s on the floor.
“简直是噩梦 亲爱的
“A fucking nightmare, darling.
对不起 我什么都看不到
Sorry, I… I can’t see anything.
我根本不知道地上有什么
I have no idea what’s there.
该死
Damn it.
是不是
Is it…
是不是有什么东西在那
Is there something there?
我看不见 你知道你运气有多好了吧”
I don’t know, but you know you’re very lucky.”
我的姐姐有一对豪♥乳♥
My sister’s got whoppers.
但她继承的是豪♥乳♥的优点
But she got all of Mom’s good bits.
老爹应付两个没妈的闺女的办法
Dad’s way of coping with two motherless daughters
就是给我俩买♥♥张女权演讲的票
was to buy us tickets to feminist lectures
接着和我们教母鬼混 最终断了联♥系♥
and start fucking our godmother, and, eventually, stop calling.
演讲每三个月一次
These lectures are every three months.
这其实是我见到姐姐的唯一机会
It’s virtually the only time I see my sister.
她看起来精疲力尽
She looks tired.
我们坐在等候室里
We sit in the waiting room.
我突然想起我穿着
I realize I’m wearing the top
她几年前就”丢”了的上衣
that she “lost” years ago, so…
没错 这很尴尬
Yes, this is gonna be tense.
她超爱这件上衣的
She really fucking loved this top.
她眼睛瞅过来了
Her eyes fixed on it.
但是 我能知道她脑子里在想什么
But… And I can see her brain ticking.
她决定以后再也不碰它了
She decides to bank it for later.
我好紧张的
Makes me nervous.
火♥药♥味十足
Ammo.
她在看电子书
She’s reading her Kindle.
她的头发弄得花里胡哨的
She’s done her hair a bit fancy.
我怀疑听完演讲她是要出去浪
I wonder if she’s going out after
还是她家大姨妈来看她了
the lecture, or she just got her period.
她生理期间总是行为异常
She always does something a bit different around her period.
她的经期综合征很严重
She gets really bad PMT.
妈妈以前称它为经期信任危机
Mom used to call it her monthly confidence crisis.
但实际上就是经期综合征
But it’s PMT.
她能挺过去的唯一方法
The only way she can get through it
就是在某些细微之处改造自己
is to reinvent herself in some small way.
有一次特别难熬
One particularly bad month,
她穿着一整套莱卡紧身衣走进厨房♥
she came into the kitchen on the brink of tears,
眼泪都快要掉下来了
in full Lycra.
就连老爸都看不下去了
Even Dad had to leave the room.
看起来就像她爬进了一个避孕套里
It looked like she climbed into a condom.
那几天气压异常低沉
That was an emotionally complex couple of days
我们不允许交谈
that we are not allowed to talk about anymore.
她坐在那 不动如山
She’s sitting so still.
她绝对有经期综合征
She’s definitely having a monthly confidence crisis.
看辫子就知道了
I mean, it’s in plaits.
没人会把两条辫子都盘在最上头
Both sides that are tied to the top, it’s unbearable.
我忍♥不了了
I can’t resist.
“发型不错”
“Hair looks nice.”
“闭嘴”
“Fuck off!”
太赞了
Brilliant!
她问了我工作的事 我就有点生气了
She asked me about work and I get a little spiky.
我告诉她咖啡馆在几天内就要被转让了
I tell her the cafe leases up in a couple of days
除非我能拿到至少五千
unless I can find at least five grand,
但那是不可能的
which is impossible.
我要处理的唯一一件事
So I’m having to deal with letting go
就是处理波宝留给我的唯一一件东西
of the only thing that I have left of Boo,
那也是阻止我变成像她那样的
the only thing that’s stopping me
女社畜的唯一办法
from becoming a corporate lady slave like her.
我知道大家都会觉得我会搞砸的
And I know that everyone thought I was gonna fuck it up.
但目前为止我似乎超出了人们的预料
But now, it looks like I’ve surpassed everyone’s expectations.
我并不想说出来 但事实就是如此
Which I didn’t mean to say, it just falls out,
我以为我就要看到她那张洋洋得意的脸
and I’m gonna get her smugness all up on my face.
但是她就看着我
But she just looks at me.
没有反应
No reaction.
我知道规律
I know the rules.
所以我就问了她那
So I asked her about her super
位高权重的完美工作 以及美满生活
high-powered perfect job work, super life.
她告诉我她最终得到了
She tells me she’s finally been offered
芬兰的梦寐以求的工作
the wet dream of a job in Finland,
他们想给她加薪减少工作任务
where they want to overpay and underwork her
而且再也不用穿权力套装了
and she doesn’t have to wear powersuits anymore.
“芬兰”
“Finland.”
但是她要拒绝这工作
But she’s turning it down
因为她丈夫说为了杰克她不能去
because her husband says she shouldn’t go because of Jake.
杰克是她的继子 他是个怪人
Jake’s her stepson. He’s really weird.
医学层面的怪 但是并没人想提这茬
Probably clinically, but no one really talks about that.
暗指精神病
如果她离开超过一天 他就要发狂
He freaks out, if she’s gone for longer than a day.
他曾经想和她一起洗澡
And he’s got this thing about trying to get in the bath with her.
他15岁
He’s 15.
我告诉她 “他不是你的儿子”
I tell her, “He’s not your son.”
“那不是重点”
“That’s not the point.”
“别扮鬼脸”
“Don’t make a face.”
我没有扮鬼脸
“I didn’t make a face.
去吧
Go!
这是你自己的事”
This is about you.”
“我就知道你会这么说”
“I knew you’d say that.”
我告诉她 她犯了个大错误
I tell her she’s making a terrible mistake.
她不应该让别人
She shouldn’t let other people
插手她真正想要的
get in the way of what she really wants,
芬兰就是她真正想要的
and Finland’s what she really wants.
她跟我说 没关系 她丈夫
She tells me that, okay, her husband…
不是”其他人”
isn’t “other people.”
她丈夫
Her husband…
是她的生命
is her life.
然后我就告诉她
So I tell her that
她丈夫在圣诞节试图勾搭我
her husband tried to touch me up at Christmas.
我不知道我为什么告诉她了
I don’t know why I said it.
是真话 但是她丈夫喝醉了
It’s true, but he was drunk, so…
马丁总是处于醉酒昏沉状态
Martin’s always drunk,
很奇怪 因为她一直都一本正经
which is odd, because she’s so straight.
也许没那么奇怪
Or maybe that’s not odd.
但他真的很擅长喝醉酒
But he’s very good at being drunk
他喝醉了很有趣
and that he’s a fun drunk.
没有人想承认醉酒是个问题
No one wants to admit there’s a problem,
因为这样他们就没法跟有趣的马丁醉鬼
because, then, they don’t get to have crazy nights out
出去度过疯狂之夜了
with fun, drunk Martin anymore.
马丁
Martin.
他是那种
He’s one of those men…
不合时宜地跟所有人开荤段子玩笑
who is explosively sexually inappropriate with everyone
让你觉得不舒服 如果你当真了
that makes you feel bad, if you take offense,
他就只是在”开玩笑”
’cause he was just being “fun.”
说真的 你告诉他
Honestly, you could tell him you’re
你要去上厕所 他就会说
gonna pop to the loo, and he’ll say,
“好 好 你去上厕所
“Aye, aye, you pop to the loo.
把你的小内♥裤♥拉下来
Pull your little knickers down,
我再进来干翻你”
and I’ll come in and fuck you!”
克莱尔总是试着
Clare always tries to sort of…
笑得跟她听懂了笑话一样
Half laugh like she gets the joke.
那甚至根本就不是个笑话
Which isn’t even a joke.
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Welcome to Women Speak.
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Sorry for the delay.
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