假期历险记（1983）

I don’t want to go to Walley World.
克拉克，在这种情况下，我们最好回家
Clark, under the circumstances, I wouldn’t mind if we just went home.
目前来看，驾车旅行是个坏主意
In retrospect, it seems like a pretty bad idea driving out.
灾难一个接着一个地发生
It’s been one disaster after another.
是啊，已经不好玩了，爸
Yeah, it’s been a real drag, Dad.
或许我们可以下次再来
Maybe we can try it some other time.
-而且威利世界应该没有那么好玩 -你认为呢？
– Walley World’s overrated anyway. – What do you think?
我认为你们的脑筋他妈的有问题
I think you’re all fucked in the head.
再过十小时我们就可以到目的地，你们他妈的竟然要退出
We’re ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out.
我跟你们说，这已经不再是度假
Well, I’ll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation.
这是个考验，关于玩乐的考验
It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun.
我要尽情玩乐，而你们也要尽情玩乐
I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun.
我们全都要他妈的尽情玩乐
We’re all gonna have so much fucking fun…
最后会需要整型医生让我们不再微笑
…we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles.
你们会高兴得唱麋鹿马提的歌♥曲
You’ll be whistling “zippity-doo-dah” out of your assholes.
我一定疯了，我竟然崇拜一只麋鹿
I gotta be crazy. I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose.
赞美麋鹿马提，真该死
Praise Marty Moose. Holy shit.
爸，你要不要吃头痛药？
Dad, do you want an aspirin or something?
不要碰我
Don’t touch.
下次你要生气的话
Next time you have one of your outbursts…
请考虑一下孩子们的感受
…I’d appreciate if you’d have some consideration for your kids.
-妳在说什么？ -你不知道吗？
– What are you talking about? – You don’t know?
我只是想要我的家人尽情玩乐一下
All I know is I’m trying to treat my family to a little fun.
得了吧，我知道你所谓的尽情玩乐是什么
Spare me, Clark. I know your brand of family fun.
明天你大概会杀人，抢劫麦当劳餐厅
Tomorrow you’ll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonald’s…
然后开上千英里的路，带我们去看世界上最大的泥球
…and drive us a thousand miles out of the way to see the world’s largest ball of mud.
妳知不知道妳的问题出在哪里？
You know what your problem is, Ellen?
妳永远是这么悲观，这就是妳的问题所在
You have a knack for looking at the dark side of things. That’s your problem.
妳根本不懂的享受
You wouldn’t know a good time if it bit you.
-你要去哪里？ -反正妳不在乎
– Where are you going? – What do you care?
你在等人吗？
Waiting for someone?
不
No. Ahem.
妳介意我坐下吗？
Do you mind if I sit down?
想不到会在这里见到你
Fancy seeing you here.
带家人出来度假吗？
Having a nice little family vacation?
噢，不
Oh. No.
看起来很像，对吧？
It would appear so, wouldn’t it? No, no.
但事实上，我告诉妳一个秘密
No, the truth of it is, and this is highly confidential…
这家旅馆是我的
…I own this motel.
我是全国连锁旅馆的老板，有两千两百家
Own the whole chain, nationwide. Twenty-two hundred units.
我每年都会到全国各地去巡视
Yeah, once a year, I travel across the country, incognito.
看看生意如何
Check things out, and see how the operation is running.
我以为你会说自己是政♥府♥情报员
I thought you were gonna say you worked for the CIA.
-那太老套了，不是吗？ -没错
– That’s an old bit, huh? – Really.
不，我现在不是政♥府♥情报员
Oh, no. No, I’m not with the CIA.
以前是，那是很久以前的事了
I was, but that was a long time ago.
我不想再谈这件事
I don’t like to talk about it, really.
我现在只对我的旅馆感兴趣
No, I’m mostly interested in my motels now.
-以及我的航♥空♥公♥司♥ -那真棒
– And my airline. – That’s great.
我只是想要尽情玩乐一番
I’m just trying to have a little fun.
真可惜你已经结婚了
It’s too bad you’re married.
不然我可以享受一下乐趣
I’m in the mood for some fun.
结婚？
Married?
妳是说跟我在一起的人吗？
Oh, you mean those people I’m with?
那是我弟弟的家人
That’s my brother’s family.
我弟弟的结婚戒指
My brother’s ring.
我借用他们来做全国巡视
I usually borrow them on these little inspection tours of mine.
这样的伪装比较全面，他们也很开心
It sort of helps to complete the disguise. It’s fun for them.
这种伪装不错，我很喜欢家庭旅行车的招数
It’s a good disguise. I like the station-wagon effect.
是吗？这样做比较有说服力
Yeah? Well, that’s a big part of it.
妳懂的，我必须要看起来…像愚蠢的普通人一样
You know, in order to be convincing, you have to look and act like an ordinary jerk.
在所有的旅馆过夜，就像个笨蛋一样
You know, stop at all the stupid sites and look like a fool.
所以基本上，你在扮演自己？
Basically, be yourself?
对啊
Yeah.
妳喜欢这种伪装吗？
You like the disguise?
如果人必须要有座右铭，那我的座右铭是
Yeah, my credo is, if you have to have a credo…
“如果要做的话，那就去做”
…you know, “Go for it,” pretty much.
人这一生只能活一次，妳明白吧？
You only go around this crazy merry-go-round once. You know?
-我同意 -对
– I agree. – Yeah.
这就是我的座右铭
Yeah, that’s my credo.
不是每个人都需要座右铭，但是…
You don’t have to have a credo, but…
“如果鞋子合适，那就穿吧。一分一毛都不能浪费”
If the fur fits, wear it. A penny saved, pennies from heaven.
我最喜欢的座右铭…
My favorite credo, oh, ha-ha…
就是“一分一毛…”
…um, you know, a penny saved, and…
谢谢妳
Thank you.
哇噢，感觉真棒
Wow. This feels great.
嗯…
Well…
你不下来吗？
…are you gonna go for it?
跟妳在这里吗？
Uh– Here?
就从这里开始
For starters, sure.
为什么不呢？你不会游泳吗？
Why not? Don’t you swim?
我当然会游泳
Oh, sure. Ha-ha.
我在高中时拿过游泳比赛第三名
Sure, I took third in the state finals in my senior year.
我是游泳健将
Yeah, I swim. Heck, yes.
水对我来说没问题
Oh, yeah, I feel completely at ease in the water.
对…
Yeah, I…
我会各种游泳技巧
I’m proficient in many strokes and I dive.
事实上，我应该参加奥♥运♥选拔赛
As a matter of fact, I could’ve been in the Olympics.
对，我应该去的
Yeah, uh… Yeah, I’ll be right there.
对啊
Yeah.
这真是太疯狂了…
This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy.
-水温如何？ -令人兴奋
– How’s the water? – Exhilarating.
我要下去了…
I’m in deep, I’m in deep.
冻死了！
Ah! Cold!
天啊，我靠！
Jesus. Fuck. Ah!
克拉克？
Clark?
冻死了！
Cold!
天呐！
Jesus! Ah!
克拉克？
Clark?
-嗨，亲爱的 -你在干嘛？
– Hi, honey. – What are you doing?
呃…游泳
Uh– Swimming.
我的背很痛
Yeah, my back was killing me.
我想游泳会减轻痛苦
I thought, you know, a good hot swim would loosen up the muscles.
所以我去车上拿了泳裤，然后跳了下来
Why go to the car and get the bathing suit? Jump right in.
这令人兴奋
It’s exhilarating.
亲爱的，在这边的这位女士
Guess what, honey? This person here was here.
我没有看到她…
I didn’t see this person…
所以我惊叫，因为我被吓到了
…so I screamed, that’s why I yelled. I was so surprised.
妳可以想象得到，对吧？
You can imagine, can’t you, honey?
亲爱的？
Honey?
呃…
Uh…
-请恕我失陪 -你得走了
– Will you excuse me? – If you have to go.
如果没有结婚，我会留下来，但是我结婚了
Well, I’d stay if I weren’t married, but I am.
我知道
I know.
-我希望没有破坏妳的兴致 -不，跟你在一起非常有趣
– I hope I didn’t spoil your evening. – No, it’s been interesting.
祝妳接下来的旅途愉快
Well, enjoy the rest of your trip.
你也是
You, too.
我难以置信
I can’t believe this.
真丢脸
I am so humiliated.
安德莉，不要装了，妳根本不会抽大♥麻♥烟
Cut it out, Audrey. You don’t even know how to inhale.
那又怎样？或许我不想抽
So? Maybe I don’t want to.
妳真是个蠢蛋，安德莉
You’re such a dork, Audrey.
他怎么能这样对待妈妈？
How can he do this to Mom?
他们大概会离婚
They’ll probably get a divorce.
我最好跟他谈谈
I’d better go talk to him.
-嘿，小子 -嘿，爸
– Hey, squirt. – Hey, Dad.
-你这么晚在干嘛？ -爸，你把整个旅馆的人吵醒了
– What are you doing up? – You woke the whole motel up, Dad.
对喔
Oh. Ha-ha-ha.
-我在游泳 -我看到了
– I was swimming. – Yeah, I saw you.
罗斯提，过来一下
Russ, come here a minute.
罗斯提，你知道我不会伤害你妈妈的