疯狂圣诞假期（1989）

He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.
谢谢妳，凯萨琳
Thank you, Cathrine.
我要去抓牠
I’ll try and trap it.
-罗斯！ -我在这里，爸
– Russ! – Right here, Dad.
你在这里
Oh, there you are.
去拿铁锤来
Go get the hammer.
你要铁锤做什么？
Clark, what do you need a hammer for?
我先用外套抓住牠，然后用铁锤打死牠
I’m gonna catch it in the coat and smack it with the hammer.
我跟他一起去
I’m going in with him.
诺拉？
Nora?
-诺拉！ -牠走了吗？
– Nora! – Is it gone?
大概被吓到了，又跑回树上
It probably got scared and ran back into the tree.
松鼠！
Squirrel!
你就给我走过去，当面打那变♥态♥一拳
You just march right over there and slug that creep in the face.
我不能随便攻击别人
I can’t just attack someone.
如果你不够胆当男子汉的话，那就让我来做
If you’re not man enough to put an end to this shit, then I am.
走了
Gone.
天啊！
Oh, my God!
妳怎么了？
What happened to you?
太棒了，天啊
Beautiful. God.
你们要去哪里？不准任何人离开
Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving.
不准有人退出这个圣诞节的家庭聚会
Nobody’s walking out on this family Christmas.
不，我们得聚在一起
No, no. We’re all in this together.
这是个假期警报
This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.
我们要待在这里，享受这最快乐的圣诞节
We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas…
就像平·克劳斯贝与丹尼·凯耶
主演的电影『银色圣诞』那般美好
…since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Kaye.
当圣诞老人用他的肥屁♥股♥爬下烟囱时
And when Santa squeezes his ass down that chimney tonight…
他会看到最可笑的一群浑蛋坐在这个疯人院里等他
…he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house.
你在犯傻
You’re goofy.
-不要惹火我，老亚 -克拉克？
– Don’t piss me off, Art. – Clark?
-全都结束了 -根据圣诞老人的时间表，还没结束
– It’s over. – Not according to Santa’s watch.
-拜托，儿子 -你不要管，老爸
– Come on, son. – Stay out of this, Dad.
克拉克，我想大家最好回家
Clark, I think it’s best if everyone just goes home.
-尤其是在事情没有更糟之前 -更糟？
– Before things get worse. – Worse?
怎么会更糟？
How could they get any worse?
看看妳的四周，我们目前正在地狱
Take a look around you, Ellen. We’re at the threshold of hell.
儿子？
Son?
我爱你，我们都爱你
I love you. We all love you.
但是今晚真的很糟糕
每件事都不顺心，真是个灾难之夜
But this is a terrible night. Nothing’s gone right. It’s a disaster.
但是你发脾气只会让事情更糟
You losing your temper with the whole family only makes things worse.
你是个好父亲，不应该这样做
You’re too good a father to act like this.
在这之后，你会希望你的家人记得你多爱他们
In years to come, you’ll want your family to remember all the love you gave us.
还有你试着给他们最好的圣诞节
And how hard you tried to make the perfect Christmas.
-我只是… -你只是搞砸了
– Well, I just– – You just cocked it up.
没关系，这常发生
Oh, it’s okay. It happens.
-我们的假期总是如此糟糕 -是啊
– Our holidays were always such a mess. – Oh, yeah.
你是怎么熬过来的？
How did you get through it?
我喝杰克·丹尼斯牌威士忌借酒消愁
I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.
我爱你
I love you.
-爸 -什么事？
– Dad? – Yeah.
你能不能带头朗诵《圣诞节前夜》？
Are you gonna recite The Night Before Christmas?
不，这是你的房♥子，这是你的圣诞节
No. It’s your house. It’s your Christmas.
我退休了
I’m retiring.
“孩子们都在床上窝在一起”
“The children were nestled all snug in their beds…
“在他们的头上，有桃子在跳舞”
…while visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.
“而妈妈拿着她的手帕，而我戴着帽子”
And Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap…
“正准备要休息，准备要冬眠”
…had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.
“在草地上，有一个人影走过来”
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter…
“我从床上爬起来，看看到底怎么回事”
…I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
“从窗户看出去，我看到了一个影子”
Away to the window, I flew like a flash…
“有一包东西掉了下来，我靠近看了一下”
…tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
“原来是屋顶的雪掉到地上，月亮照耀着发出光泽”
The moon on the new-fallen snow gave a luster of midday to objects below.
“在我面前的是一个小型的雪橇…”
When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and….”
还有艾迪和一个穿着睡衣的人
And Eddie with a man in his pajamas with a dog chain…
而且手腕和脚踝上拴着狗链，在搞什么？
…tied to his wrists and ankles. What the–?
待在这里
Stay here.
齁齁齁（圣诞老人招牌笑声），圣诞快乐，克拉克
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas, Clark.
你是不是该亲我一下？
You about ready to do some kissing?
是的，警官，我的丈夫被绑♥架♥了
Yes, officer, it seems my husband’s been abducted.
那个男人…
The man was…
他穿了一套蓝色西装，而车牌是堪萨斯州的车牌
…wearing a blue leisure suit, and the plates were from Kansas.
他高大而强壮…
He was a huge, beastly, bulging man and–
我从未被别人这样对待过
I’ve never been treated like this in my life.
我很抱歉，这是我们家里第一宗绑♥架♥案
I’m sorry. This is our family’s first kidnapping.
你被开除了，电♥话♥在哪里？我要叫警♥察♥
You’re fired. And where’s the phone? I’m calling the police.
先等一下，伙计，克拉克跟这件事无关
Hey, just hold your wad there, fella. Clark had nothing to do with this.
这全是我的主意
This here was my idea.
好吧，那他仍会被开除，而你要去坐牢
All right. He’s still fired, and you are going to jail.
不，艾迪，这是我的错
Oh, no. Eddie, it was my fault.
当我接到奖金时，我失去了控制
I lost my temper when I got my bonus.
-而且说了不该说的话 -奖金？
– I guess I said things I shouldn’t have. – Bonus?
你怎么会收到奖金？今年我停发了奖金
How did you get a bonus? I cut out bonuses this year.
是喔，谢谢你告诉我
Yeah. Thanks for telling us.
我本来以为是支票，结果却变成了果冻会员
I was expecting a check. Instead I got enrolled in a jelly club.
我为你的公♥司♥工作了十七年
每年都拿到奖金，就只有今年没有
Seventeen years with the company. I’ve gotten a bonus every year but this one.
你不想发奖金，没问题！
You don’t wanna give bonuses, fine!
但是当别人很期待他们这部分的薪水时
But when people count on them as part of their salary…
-你的做法真的是… -很浑蛋
– …well, what you did just plain– – Sucks.
谢谢你，罗斯
Thank you, Russ.
我的…
My…
我的表弟，他的心胸比他的脑袋还大
…cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain–
谢谢你，克拉克
I appreciate that, Clark.
他是无辜的，我来负这个责任
Is innocent. I’ll be more than happy to take the rap on this.
我只是代表自己和其他被你剥削的员工
On behalf of myself and every other employee you rear-ended this Christmas.
听着…
Look…
有时候我只会看到表面账务单
…sometimes things look good on paper…
我并不知道此事对下属员工影响这么大
…but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks.
如果这会伤害到人，就应该是错误的
I guess a healthy bottom line doesn’t mean much…
尤其是你依靠的人
…if to get it you have to hurt the ones you depend on.
是你这样的小人物支持着公♥司♥
It’s people that make the difference. Little people, like you.
所以，卡尔…（又记错名字了）
So, Carl…
不管你去年拿到多少奖金
…whatever you got last year…
今年再加两成
…add 20 percent.
泳池有戏了！
Our pool!
克拉克？
Clark?
爸
Dad.
泰德，走开
Go away, Todd.
如果你要进来的话，你必须打破门！
If you wanna come in, you are gonna have to break down the goddamn door!
祝大家圣诞快乐！祝大家平安夜快乐！
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
不准动！
Freeze!
不是说你们，是说他们！
Not you, them! Them!
请走这边
This way, please.
-我想你们搞错了 -我说过不准动，先生
– I think you’ve made a terrible mistake. – I told you to freeze, mister.
我能不能眨眼？
May we blink?
法兰克
Frank.
-海伦！ -感谢老天，你没事
– Helen! – Thank God. You’re all right.
我没事…
Oh, I’m fine. I’m just fine.
这里面有误会
It was a big misunderstanding tonight.
对不起，你和雪利太太能不能到外面去？
Excuse me. Would you and Mrs. Shirley like to step outside…
方便让我们完成工作
…so we can take care of business here?
不，不需要了，我不会起诉他们
There’s no business. I’m not pressing any charges.
-什么？ -这是误会
– What? – It was a mistake.
误会？亲爱的，你被绑♥架♥了
Mistake? Frank, honey, you were kidnapped.
我做了不该做的事，而他们提醒了我
I did something I shouldn’t have, and these people called me on it.
这位是克拉克和他的家人
This is Clark Griswold and his family.
欢迎到我们的家
Welcome to our home.
虽然剩下的不多
What’s left of it.
-叫B队出去 -到底发生了什么事？
– Release B Squad. – What’s going on here?
记不记得我曾经说过要停发圣诞奖金？
Remember I was toying with the notion of suspending the Christmas bonuses?