疯狂圣诞假期（1989）

– Why are you crying? – I told you we put it in too early.
-只是有点干，没问题的 -看来还好
– Oh, it’s just a little dry. It’s fine. – It looks good to me.
鸡心在这里
Here’s the heart.
贝丝妮阿姨
Aunt Bethany?
妳的猫会吃果冻吗？
Does your cat, by any chance, eat Jell-O?
我不管猫吃什么，但我很享受这顿晚餐
Well, I don’t know about the cat, but I sure am enjoying it.
孩子们
Hey, kids?
新闻说有一位飞行员飞到纽约时
看到了圣诞老人的雪橇
I heard on the news that a pilot spotted Santa’s sled on its way from New York.
克拉克，你确定吗？
You serious, Clark?
老亚，帮我再装一点果冻，真是很好吃
Art, you want to load me up with a little more there. It is good.
-艾迪 -什么事？
– Ed? – Yeah, Clark.
狗怎么了？
What’s wrong with the dog?
牠刚刚被骨头卡住了
Oh, he’s just yacking on a bone.
吐出来了，现在没问题了
He’s got it up. He’s all right now.
或许你不应该用餐桌上的食物喂牠
Maybe if you wouldn’t feed him from the table.
不…
No, no.
牠大概是从垃圾桶里找来的食物
He’s probably just nosing through the trash there.
克拉克，如果你没有在做事的话
Hey, Gris, if you’re not doing anything constructive…
到客厅去把我的眼镜拿来
…run into the living room, get my stogy.
路易士叔叔，我还可以为你做什么吗？
Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?
他已经很老了，这或许是他最后一个圣诞节
He’s an old man. This may be his last Christmas.
如果他再这样蛮横下去
这肯定是他最后一个圣诞节
If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas.
这样应该可以了
That should be it.
亲爱的？
Honey?
-跟你说过，你用太多分插头了 -天啊
– You had too many plugs in one outlet. – Oh, God.
那是什么？
What is it?
没事，我们赶快去吃点心吧
Nothing. Let’s go in and finish our dessert.
如果这家伙有九条命，牠大概都用完了
If that thing had nine lives, she just spent them all.
如果你不介意的话，我可以帮你修这张椅子
If you don’t mind, Clark, I’d like to see if I can fumigate this here chair.
这张椅子品质很不错
It’s a good, quality item.
我想问一下，你要卖♥♥多少钱？
If you don’t mind me asking, how much it set you back?
你有没有闻到什么？
You smell something?
烤猫
Fried pussycat.
不是椅子，好像是从下水道传来的
It’s not the chair. It’s some kind of gas coming from the sewer.
路易士？
Lewis?
我的树！
My tree!
你怎么了？
So, what’s the matter with you?
看看你做的好事！
Look what you’ve done to my tree!
路易士
Lewis.
反正这棵树很丑
It was an ugly tree, anyway.
至少它解脱了
At least it’s out of its misery.
-爸会疯掉的 -没有人会疯掉
– Dad’s gonna flip out. – Nobody’s gonna flip out.
这个圣诞假期会很美好
We’re gonna have a wonderful Christmas.
你要干嘛？
What the hell do you want?
我有一份紧急信件是给克拉克·葛斯伍德
I have a delivery for Clark W. Grisman.
我应该昨天就送来，但是信件掉到椅子底下
I was supposed to deliver it yesterday but it fell between the seats,
我没看到，我很抱歉
and I didn’t see it. I’m sorry.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
-我不敢相信 -那是什么？
– I can’t believe it. – What is it?
是不是你的疯人院申请通过了？
A letter confirming your reservation at the nut house?
是公♥司♥寄来的
It’s from my company.
-是你的奖金 -我的奖金
– Your bonus. – My bonus.
太棒了！
That’s great!
赶快打开，克拉克
Open it, Clarkie. Open it.
我希望是一大笔钱，克拉克
Yeah, I hope it’s a fortune, Clark.
我也希望如此，艾迪
I bet you do, Eddie.
我很害怕…
I was afraid….
你到底要不要打开？
Are you gonna bawl all over it, or are you gonna open it?
我本来要准备等到明天，但是不管那么多了
I was gonna wait till tomorrow to tell you all this, but what the heck.
因为有这笔奖金，所以我准备盖一座游泳池
With this bonus check, I’m putting in a swimming pool.
这就是我所谓的大惊喜！
That’s it. That’s the big one!
打开！
Open it!
最近我的脾气不太好，我很抱歉
I’m sorry if I’ve been a little short with everyone lately.
因为我在等这笔奖金
I’ve been waiting for this bonus.
为了先预定游泳池，我已经放了押金下去
To make sure the pool goes in when the ground thaws I had to pay in advance.
如果没有这笔钱，那张支票可能跳票
And until this arrived I didn’t have enough in my account to cover the check.
-爸，赶快打开 -对啊
– Tear the sucker open, Dad. – Yeah.
鼓声，开玩笑
Drum roll. Just kidding.
如果还有剩余的钱，我会帮你们买♥♥飞机票过来玩
If there’s enough left over, I’m gonna fly
you all down here to help us dedicate it.
我不会游泳，克拉克
I can’t swim, Clark.
我知道，艾迪
I know that, Eddie.
克拉克，怎么了？
Clark, what’s wrong?
亲爱的？
Honey?
比你想象中的还要多吗？
It’s bigger than you expected?
或是更少？
Smaller?
到底是什么？
What is it?
是当月最佳果冻俱乐部的一年会员卡
It’s a one-year membership in the Jelly of the Month Club.
天呐
Oh, God.
克拉克，这是一年到头都有的礼物
Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
没错，艾迪，没错
That it is, Edward. That it is, indeed.
我很抱歉，克拉克…
I’m sorry. Clark….
我觉得这是今年最大的耻辱，该死！
If this isn’t the biggest punch in the face I ever got. Goddamn it!
儿子
Son.
非常好…
That’s good. That’s good. That’s good.
呃…听着！
Ahh…. Hey!
如果你们想要送我一个礼物的话
If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one.
我希望我的老板法兰克·雪利今晚在这里
I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here, tonight.
我要他来这里欢度佳节
I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber on Melody Lane…
还要让他所有的富豪朋友一起来
…with all the other rich people, and I want him right here.
头上还绑着蝴蝶结
With a big ribbon on his head.
然后我要瞪着眼睛告诉他
I wanna look him straight in the eye and tell him…
他是一个小器鬼、骗子、下流份子
…what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four-flushing…
低能儿、无♥耻♥之徒、卑鄙小人、吸血鬼
…low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed…
白♥痴♥、太监、冷血动物
…ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless…
肥猪、虫眼、杂种
…heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped…
浑蛋、大畜生、守财奴！
…worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!
哈利路亚！该死！头痛药在哪里？
Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?
-他的眼神已经近似疯狂
-我说过，我们应该去夏威夷
– He’s got that crazed look in his eye. – We should’ve gone to Hawaii.
把那东西关掉，赶快进屋来！
Turn that thing off and get in the house!
妈，我跟他谈谈
I’ll talk to him, Mom.
爸，我一直在想
You know, Dad. I’ve been thinking.
很高兴跟你谈话
Good talk, Dad.
你不觉得没有圣诞树，好像不太好吗？
Aren’t you a bit sorry we didn’t get a Christmas tree?
虽然那些树既不干净，也不好整理
Even though they’re dirty and messy and corny and clichéd.
现在是圣诞前夜，我们去哪里再找树？
Well, where you gonna find a tree at this hour on Christmas Eve?
怎么了？
What’s the matter?
你一定得这样做吗？
Was that really necessary?
-我们需要一棵树 -需要我提醒你…
– We needed a tree. – May I remind you that–
这全是我的主意吗？不用提醒，我已经知道了
That this was all my idea. No. No, no. I’m well aware of that, honey.
你下次再发脾气的话，能否先考虑一下？
Could you just keep it in mind the next time you go berserk?
我没有在发脾气，我只是去解决问题
I didn’t go berserk. I simply solved a problem.
我们需要一副棺材，我是说，一棵树
We needed a coffin. I mean, a tree.
圣诞前夜没有人在卖♥♥树
There are no lots open on Christmas Eve.
路易士把我的树毁了，所以我得找一棵新的
Lewis burned down my tree, so I replaced it as best I could. Voilà.
-你还好吧？ -我很好
– Are you okay? – I’m fine, honey.
我将手把修好了
Fixed the newelpost.
那是什么声音？
What’s that sound?
你们有没有听到？是一种很奇怪的声音
Do you hear it? It’s a funny squeaky sound.
妳连垃圾车的声音都听不到
You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
嘘，我也听到了
Shh. I hear it too.
又没了
I don’t hear it anymore.
天啊…
What was it?! Oh, my God!
安静点！闭嘴！
Quiet! Shut up!
妈，不要动
Mom, don’t move.
不能让牠离开客厅
We can’t let it get out of the living room.
艾迪在哪里？他不是常常吃这种东西吗？
Where’s Eddie? He usually eats these goddamn things.
最近没有，克拉克
Oh, not recently, Clark.
因为他听说吃松鼠会胆固醇过高