疯狂圣诞假期（1989）

我们可以住在露营车里，虽然有点挤…
We’re pretty well set up here in the RV. It’s a little tight…
-但我们不想打扰你们 -这里有很多空房♥
– …but we didn’t come to impose. – Hell, there’s plenty of room.
-不要这么客气，艾迪 -呃…
– Quit being so damn polite, Ed. – Oh….
我和凯萨琳可以待在那里
Cathrine and I, we’re pretty comfy in there, you know.
但或许孩子们可以跟你们住
But maybe you wouldn’t mind the youngsters shacking up with you.
我们开了这么远的路，我们需要一点私人空间
After that long drive, we could use a little private time together.
亲爱的，妳去拿孩子行李
Why don’t you get the kids’ things?
不要忘了把性游戏道具拿出来
Don’t forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.
我带妳看看露营车之家，来吧
Come on. I wanna show you the home.
安德莉，外面很冷，帮我弄些热巧克力招待大家
Audrey, help me get some hot chocolate. It’s cold.
这棵树真棒，克拉克，是真的吗？
That’s a honey of a tree, Clark. Is it real?
是的，我亲手挖的
Yeah. Yeah, I dug it out of the ground myself.
-真的吗？ -鼻涕虫，离开，不要乱来！
– Is that a fact? – Hey, get out of there. Snots! Yo!
不要担心，那一点水不会伤害牠
Don’t worry about it, Clark. A little tree water ain’t gonna hurt him.
在我们离开之前，牠喝了四分之一公升的机油
Before we left, he drank a half a quart of Pennzoil.
当牠第二天早上小便时…
Boy, when he lifted his leg the next morning….
如果牠喝光了那里的水，树会枯死，走开
If he drinks the water, the tree’s gonna dry up. Come on, out of there.
-鼻涕虫 -出去
– Snots. – Out, out, out.
出去，到厨房♥里去
Get out of there. Get in the kitchen now.
到厨房♥里去找东西吃
Get in the kitchen there and get you something to eat. Go on.
牠真可爱，对吧？
He’s cute, ain’t he?
唯一的问题是，牠还有一点点密西西比的风格
Only problem is, he’s got a bit of Mississippi leg hound in him.
如果牠情绪来了，牠会抓住你的脚，然后做动作
If the mood catches him right, he’ll grab your leg and just go to town.
你穿短裤时，牠最好不要在场，你懂我的意思吧
Don’t want him around if you’re wearing short pants, if you know what I mean.
先警告你，如果牠开始干那种事，最好让牠做完
A word of warning, though. If he lays into you,
it’s best to just let him finish.
艾迪，我真不敢相信，你竟然在我的客厅里
I can’t believe you’re actually standing here in my living room, Eddie.
-我没想过你会来 -我也是
– Never thought the day would come. – Yeah, I’m excited about it too.
真可惜大一点的孩子没来
It’s a crying shame the older kids couldn’t make it.
不要担心，我来收拾
I’ll get that. Don’t worry about it. Let me get it.
我的二女儿在戒毒所里面戒毒
Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic, getting cured off the Wild Turkey.
而大儿子正在为自己的前途做准备
And the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career.
-上大学吗？ -是办庆典
– College? – Carnival.
-你一定很骄傲 -是啊
– You gotta be proud. – Oh, yeah.
去年他在博览会上负责撒灰
Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl.
而他认为或许明年
He thinks maybe next year…
他会负责猜人们的体重或是向丑女学狗叫
…he’ll be guessing people’s weight or barking for the Yak Woman.
-你见过那丑女吗？ -没有
– You ever see her? – No.
她头上有两个角，非常丑陋
She’s got these big horns growing right out above her ears.
但是心肠很好，厨艺也不错
Yeah, she’s ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And a hell of a good cook.
你要再喝一杯蛋奶酒吗？还是要吃东西？
Can I refill your eggnog? Get you something to eat?
或者载你到某处把你放下来，让你一个人死去？
Drive you out to nowhere and leave you for dead?
不用了，我现在很好，我很高兴到这里来
No, I’m doing just fine, Clark. Just glad to be here.
你什么时候买♥♥那台四轮车的？
Yeah. So when did you get the tenement on wheels?
那个吗？那是辆露营车
Oh, that there? That’s an RV.
是我跟朋友借的
Yeah, yeah. I borrowed it off a buddy of mine.
他住我家，我住他的露营车
He took my house, I took the RV.
那辆车看起来很棒，对吧？
It’s a good-looking vehicle, ain’t it?
停在车道上看起来真不错
Yeah. Looks so nice parked in the driveway.
没错，但你不要爱上它
Yeah, it sure does. But don’t you go falling in love with it now.
当我们离开时会开走它，大概是下个月
Because we’re taking it with us when we leave here next month.
（十二月十八日）
赶快叫艾德上来，看看这些数字
Well, get Ed Leftic up here to look over these figures.
他在检查工具，这个借口不错
Oh, retooling. That’s a great excuse.
那我来检查你怎么样？
Retooling?! I’ll retool you!
-雪利先生，圣诞快乐 -是谁？
– Mr. Shirley, Merry Christmas. – Who’s that?
-是我，克拉克·葛斯伍德 -你要干嘛？
– It’s me, Clark Griswold. – What do you want?
我太太和我买♥♥了一个礼物给你
My wife and I came up with a little something special. It’s a gift.
和那边的礼物摆在一起，南美佬（侮辱性词语）
Put it over there with the others, greaseball.
还有，我希望我的报告给了你很多帮助
By the way, I hope my report helped out at the trade show.
没错，葛斯波（记错名字）
I’m sure it did, Grisball.
失陪一下，我还要接一个重要电♥话♥
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of an important call.
帮我接通某人，任何一个人
Get me somebody. Anybody.
我在等，随便给我接通某人
And get me somebody while I wait.
这是我们公♥司♥发展的厨房♥用的润滑油
This is a new silicon-based kitchen lubricant my company’s working on.
比任何的沙拉油还要滑五百倍
It creates a surface 500 times more slippery than any cooking oil.
我们可以用这东西滑下山去
We’re gonna fly down the hill with this stuff.
-有没有人把它用在雪橇上？ -应该是没有
– Has anyone ever used it on a sled? – Not that I know of, Russ.
我的雪橇不要放，克拉克
Well, don’t go putting none of that stuff on my sled, Clark.
-你还记不记得我脑里有块铁板？
-我怎么会忘记？
– You know that metal plate in my head? – How could I forget?
我换了块板子，因为每当凯萨琳使用微波炉时
I had to have it replaced because every
time Cathrine revved up the microwave…
我就会尿裤子，然后我便会忘记自己是谁
…I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for a half-hour or so.
在退伍军人事务部，他们用塑胶板代替
所以没有原来的坚固…
Over at the V.A. they replaced it with a
plastic one and it ain’t as strong, so….
我不想要滑下山头
I don’t know if I ought to go down no hill…
而在我的头和地面之间，只有一块塑胶板
…with nothing between the ground and my
brain but a piece of government plastic.
-艾迪，你认为这有关系吗？ -脑下的这块板
– You really think it matters, Eddie? – The plate runs underneath my part here.
只有在这里，这边没有
Over here it’s, you know, nothing.
如果凹下去了，我的发型就不好看
But here, if this gets dented, then my hair just ain’t gonna look right.
我了解你的感受
Yeah, I know the feeling.
我最好先试试看
I better try this first, see how it works.
-小心点，克拉克 -不要担心，艾迪
– You be careful there, Clark. – There’s nothing to worry about, Eddie.
我现在正准备打破世界上最快的雪橇纪录
Going for a new amateur recreational saucer-sled land-speed record:
我就是克拉克·葛斯伍德！
Clark W. Griswold Jr.!
记住，孩子们，不要在家试，因为我是职业的
Remember, don’t try this at home, kids. I am a professional.
待会儿见
Later, dudes.
准备启动，全速滑行
Let her rip. Hang 10.
老天啊！
Oh, shit!
慢下来…我死定了！
This is great! It’s great! It’s great! I’m dead!
小心！
Look out!
（停！）
正中靶心
Bingo.
（十二月二十一日）
-克拉克，你要加班吗？ -嗨，比尔，是的
– Clark? You staying late? – Oh, hi, Bill. Yeah.
只是想做完一些工作，这是我今年的最后一天
Just finishing up a few things. Last day of the year for me.
祝你圣诞快乐
Well, have a really Merry Christmas.
你也是
You too.
-你还好吗？ -还好
– Are you okay? – Yeah.
比尔，你拿到你的奖金了吗？
Bill, did you get your bonus yet?
我刚跟我的儿子通过电♥话♥
I just talked to my son.
公♥司♥派人送东西到我家，应该就是奖金
Company messenger brought something to the house. I guess that’s it.
每次都是最后一分钟
Nothing like waiting till the last minute, huh?
你拿到你的了吗？
Did you get yours?
如果还没到，一定是在路上
If it isn’t at the house, I’m sure it’s on its way.
如果拿不到奖金，我就完蛋了
If I don’t get that bonus, I’m in it up to here.
不要担心，会到的，圣诞快乐
Don’t sweat it. It’ll come. Merry Christmas.
你也是
Same to you.
我？
Me?
（此处模仿性喜剧电影
『开放的美国学府』）
圣诞老人！
Santy Claus!
克拉克叔叔，你是圣诞老人吗？
Uncle Clark, are you Santy Claus?
什么？
What? Oh.
妳吓到我了
You scared me.
不，我不是圣诞老人
No, I’m not Santa Claus.
我也希望我是
I wish I was.
甜心，妳怎么醒来了？
What are you doing up, sweetheart?
-洛奇咬我的姆指 -什么？
– Rocky bit my thumb. – What?
他很紧张，因为圣诞节快到了
Him’s nervous because Christmas is almost here.
-是紧张还是兴奋？ -去他的吧
– Nervous or excited? – Shitting bricks.
-妳不可以讲这种脏话 -对不起，去我的吧
– You shouldn’t use that word. – Sorry. Shitting rocks.
我明白了
I see. Good.
他之所以紧张，是因为他担心他拿不到礼物
Him’s nervous because he don’t know if he’s getting nothing.
我认为他不需要担心，妳也不需要
I don’t think he should be nervous and you shouldn’t be either.
如果你们整年都很乖，圣诞老人就会来
Because if you’re good, Santa knows it.
如果妳相信他和妳妈妈…
If you believe in him and you believe in your mom and you believe in your….
以及妳爸爸
Your dad.
而妳这一年都很乖，圣诞老人会送礼物的
If you’ve been good all year round, Santa is gonna bring you something.
有时候我认为圣诞老人是假的
Sometimes I think all that Santa crap is just bull.
如果他是真的，为什么去年我们什么都没拿到？
If he was so real, how come we didn’t get squat last year?
我们并没有不乖，可还是没拿到什么
We didn’t do nothing wrong and we still got the shaft.
嗯，我刚好知道圣诞老人是真的