神秘肌肤（2004）

我不知道他后来怎么了
I have no idea what happened to him.
夏天过后 他也就消失了
After that summer, he just disappeared.
我甚至不确定他是否还活着
I don’t even know if he’s alive or what.
也许他早就变成了鬼 在暗处看着我们
Maybe it’s his ghost that’s watching us.
把你知道的都告诉我吧
Tell me everything you can.
好吧 我是他的最爱
Well, I was his favourite.
那么多人里 他选了我
Out of every one, he picked me.
我知道这听起来很奇怪 但是
I know that sounds kind of weird, but,
当他开始的时候
when it first started happening…
我反而觉得很荣幸
I felt honoured.
继续
Go on.
这里以前有个大电视
I don’t know, this is where the big TV was,
酷毙了的电玩
all the cool video games.
那是厨房♥
That’s the kitchen.
第一次 是在这里
The first time, it happened there.
后来一整个夏天 都这样 只有我和他
It lasted that whole summer. Just me and him.
我见过他一次
I saw him one other time.
在几年之后的万圣节
On Halloween, a couple years later.
我迷路了
I was lost.
他唤着我的名字
He said my name.
Brian
Brian?
Brian
Brian?
就知道是你
I thought that was you.
比赛刚开始
The game had just started.
我跟往常一样坐在长椅上
I was sitting on the bench as always.
然后 突然下雨了
It started to rain…
刚开始是星星点点 后来倾盆而下
Sprinkles at first, then a downpour.
裁判叫停了比赛
The ump called the game.
没人去接你回家
And no one came to pick you up.
妈妈在上班 我爸爸 鬼知道他在哪里
My Mom was working and my Dad, who knows?
所有人都跟父母一起回家了
Every one else drove off with their parents.
只剩我一个人留在那里
I was left there all alone.
当时你跟我一起在替补席 你说
Then you were in the dugout with me and you said…
我们会带你回家的
We’ll take you home.
后来我们上了教练的车 记得么
And we got in Coach’s stationwagon, remember?
他带我们到这里
He brought us here.
进来吧 Brian
It’s all right, Brian.
我们来玩吧
We’re just going to have a little bit of fun.
他没让你进卧室 因为卧室是我们的
And he didn’t want you in the bedroom because that was just for us.
所以就是在这 它发生了
So it all happened here, in this room.
继续说
Keep going.
都告诉我
Don’t stop until you’ve told me everything.
只要是有别人加入
Anytime there was another boy involved,
都是同样的套路
it was always the same.
教练让我拉你进来
Coach used me as a prop to pull you in.
他脱掉我的衣服 我很喜欢那样
He’d take off my clothes and it was up to me…
感觉好像真的在玩游戏一样
to make it seem like fun, like this is a really cool game we were playing.
来吧 教教他 Neil
Go ahead, show him, Neil.
好吧 是这么玩的
All right, here are the rules.
我先吻你 你再吻我
First I kiss you, then you kiss me back,
然后换他来
then it’s his turn.
准备好了么
Are you ready?
开始吧
Here we go.
天哪
My God!
不想听了
You want me to stop?
然后我就把舌头伸进你嘴里
So I put my tongue in your mouth,
慢慢的湿润起来
getting it all wet and shiny.
后来换他了
Then it was his turn.
看着他厚厚的嘴唇吸允着你的脸
Watching his big lips sucking your face,
我记得 我总是想 “哦 他要把他的头吞下去咯”
I remember thinking, ” Oh, he’s going to swallow his head whole”.
然后我们脱掉你的衣服 你就会发出
So we took off your clothes and you made this …
小狗狗般的呜咽声 教练可喜欢了
whimpering puppy sound that Coach always loved.
圣洁的夜*
* Holy night.
教练给我口♥交♥的时候
Coach and me had this thing where he would open up his mouth,
皆是安详*
*All is calm.
会把我的鸡♥巴♥和蛋蛋都含在嘴里
and wrap it around my dick and balls and everything all at once.
皆是明亮*
* All is bright.
他这么对我
He did that to me.
我也想这么对你 但我不能
Then I tried to do it to you but couldn’t because…
嘴太小了
my mouth was too small.
我们一边坐着听圣诞颂歌♥
And as we sat there listening to the carolers,
后来
Then…
他把你压在身下
he went down on you.
好像很漫长
For what seemed like a really long time.
你眼睛基本是闭上的 但每一次
Your eyes were closed mostly, but every now and then…
它们都会突然睁开 就像带着厚重的眼镜般 看着远方
they would flutter open, and just had this glassy, faraway look.
然后我凑近 对你低声说话
And then I leaned in and whispered.
好玩 对吧 告诉他很好玩
It’s fun, right? Tell him you think it’s fun.
我就快说完了
We’re almost finished.
还想听么
You’re gonna be able?
想
Yeah.
后来我们玩起了5美元游戏
Then we played the 5 dollar game.
教练会让我做一些很疯狂的性事
When Coach would ask me to do things, crazy sex things.
我要是做得到 他就给我5美元
And if I could do them, he’d give me a 5 dollar bill.
我没事 你继续 Neil
It’s okay. Go ahead, Neil.
他让我们给他拳♥交♥ 你知道什么叫拳♥交♥么
He made us fist him. Do you know what that is?
我先进去 当然了
I went first, of course.
那一晚 5美元就是我的了 如果可以
And on that night, the 5 dollars was mine if I could ram …
把我的小拳头塞进去 一直塞到手肘
my little fist up his ass and wring it all the way to the elbow.
我做到了
And goddamn it, I did it.
我永远都忘不了那种感觉
I’ll never forget how it felt.
就像是他的身体都想把我吸收进去
It felt like his whole body was trying to suck me into it.
吞噬我
Devour me.
然后我也塞进去了
And then I did it too.
后来我们送你回了小河镇的路边
And then we drove you back to Little River and left you in your driveway.
结束了
The End.
我当时流了很多鼻血
And my nose was bleeding.
为什么
How did that happen?
完事之后 我们给你穿好衣服
When it was over and we were getting you dressed,
你看起来好像被抹去了面孔
your face looked like you’d been erased.
内心像是空荡的一片
Like you were just empty inside.
然后你摔倒了
And you just fell.
面朝着地 嘣
Face first on the floor. Bam.
我们扶你起来 你就已经流血了
And when we pulled you up, your nose was bleeding.
是不是就像这样
Like this?
像这样啊
Like this?!
嘘 停下
Shh. Stop. Stop. Stop.
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
根本没人在家啊
No one’s even home.
不 里面有人
No, someone’s there.
我都看见了
I can see them.
看 我也看到了
Look, I see them, too.
怎么了
What’s going on?
里面好像有人
I think that someone’s in there.
一边想要告诉Brian 一切都结束了 会好起来的
I wanted to tell Brian it was over now and everything would be okay.
但那也只是谎言 再说 我也不想说
But that was a lie, plus, I couldn’t speak anyway.
我希望可以回到过去 可以选择自己做过的事
I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past.
但这不可能
But there wasn’t.
我们什么都不能做
There was nothing we could do.
所以我只是静静地坐着 试着与他心灵相通
So I just stayed silent and trying to telepathically communicate…
让他知道我对当初发生的事很后悔
how sorry I was about what had happened.
世间所有的痛苦悲伤
And I thought of all the grief and sadness…
和这个混账世界上所有的劫难
and fucked up suffering in the world…
都让我想要逃亡
and it made me want to escape.
我用心祈祷 我们可以把世界抛在身后
I wished with all my heart that we could just leave this world behind.
像两个天使一样 在夜空中纷飞 然后奇幻的
Rise like two angels in the night and magically…
消失
disappear.