职场心计文学梦（2020）

Uh, well, we’d be happy to take look at your material
当你觉得它准备好了。
when you feel it’s ready.
那太好了。
That would be great.
那真是太好了。
That would be really great, yeah.
让我们为此干杯。
Let’s cheers to that.
好的！
OK!
我喜欢讽刺的东西。
Well, the satirical stuff, I like.
我知道，但是《纽约客》的小说是个笑话。
I know, but The New Yorker’s fiction is a joke.
还有那个伤感的”街谈巷议“吗？
And that soppy “Talk of the Town” thing?
不……
Don…
哦，我很抱歉。
Oh, I’m sorry.
我知道你喜欢那个……
I know you love that shit, that…
“哦，我们一起去阿尔冈昆见吧。
“Oh, let’s all go meet up at the Algonquin.
我真希望你能加入我们” 胡说。
I do so wish you could join us,” bullshit.
婚礼什么时候举♥行♥？
So when’s the wedding?
今天是哥伦布日周末，对吧？
It’s, uh, it’s Columbus Day weekend, right?
还是……还是我在做……这是我编的吗？
Or… or am I making… am I making that up?
是下周末，唐。
It’s next weekend, Don.
乔安娜，你会来吧？
Joanna, you’re coming, right?
是的，是的……
Yeah, yeah…
兴奋！
Excited!
你这缺德鬼。你知道的，对吧？
You’re an asshole. You know that, right?
嗯……
Uh…
我知道如果我告诉你，
I knew that if I told you about it,
你开始计划，
you’d start planning,
比如：“我们租一辆车吧。”我们就住在这家旅馆里吧。
like: “Let’s rent a car. Let’s stay in this B&B.
我穿什么好呢？”
What am I gonna wear?”
然后你买♥♥了那条裙子，然后做了所有这些计划，
And then you’d buy that dress and you’d make all these plans,
然后你就冲我发火
and then you flip out at me
当我告诉你我想一个人去的时候。
when I told you that I wanted to go alone.
你想一个人去你最好朋友的婚礼吗？
You wanna go to your best friend’s wedding alone?
好吧，听着，
OK, listen,
我不需要向你证明自己，好吗？
I don’t need to justify myself to you, all right?
真的吗？
Really?
真的，布巴！
Really, Buba!
我在哈特福德的兄弟们都会去。
All my bros from Hartford will be there.
这将是一个时代的终结。
It’s gonna be the end of an era.
我不想再担心了
And I don’t want to have to worry
你玩得开心不开心。
about whether you’re having fun or not.
没错！
Right!
也许你会遇到性感的金发女郎
Maybe you’ll meet some hot blonde
想让你扯掉她的内♥裤♥
that wants you to rip her panties off
然后操她的屁♥股♥
and fuck her up the ass
写一篇关于她的难以读懂的故事！
and write an unreadable story about her!
什么？哇！
What? Wow!
这是怎么回事？
Where is this coming from?
去年圣诞节我遇到的那个甜美天真的女孩在哪里？
Where is the sweet, naive girl I met last Christmas?
因为你知道吗？
‘Cause you know what?
我希望她能回来，拜托了，布巴。
I’d like her back, please, Buba.
别叫我布巴，好吗？我又不是小孩子！
Stop calling me Buba, OK? I’m not a child!
我叫你布巴是因为我爱你。
I call you Buba because I love you.
我祖母就是这么称呼我妈妈的。
It’s what my grandmother calls my mom.
你爱我吗？
You love me?
当然！
Of course!
我是说，如果我没有，我还会在这里吗？
I mean, would I be here if I didn’t?
我跟你说了，我从没跟女孩住过。你改变了我。
I told you I’ve never lived with a girl before. You changed me.
你爱我，
You love me,
但你不想让我去参加马克的婚礼？
but you don’t want to me to go to Mark’s wedding?
正确的。
Correct.
听着，我比你大。
Look, I am older than you.
我尽量不去提醒你，但这是真的。
I try not to remind you of this, but it is true.
好吧？
All right?
有一天，当你到了我这个年纪，
And one day, when you’re my age,
你会发现两个人是可以相爱的
you’ll realize that two people can love each other
并不是每件事都达成一致
and not agree on everything
不用什么事都一起做。
and not have to do everything together.
你觉得我应该带条领带吗？
You think I should pack a tie?
布巴？你很擅长这种事。
Buba? You’re good with this kind of thing.
比如，我没有西装
Like, I don’t have a suit,
所以你认为……你以为只要一件衬衫和一条领带就行了吗？
so you think… you think just a shirt and a tie?
你沮丧。
You’re depressed.
我发誓，我是说……我知道这些症状
I swear, I mean, I… I recognize the symptoms.
我一激动就会这样。
I get like that when I’m emotional.
而且，我有时会很情绪化。
And, well, I can get quite emotional.
我不沮丧。
I’m not depressed.
嗯。
Hmm.
我是一个非常快乐的人。
I’m a very happy person.
什么？
What?
什么都没有。
Nothing.
我会得到一个吻别吗？
Am I gonna get a kiss goodbye?
好吧。再见，乔安娜！
All right. Goodbye, Joanna!
“我经常会想到霍尔顿（麦田守护者的主人公）
“I think about Holden a lot.
“当我第一次想起他，我就傻笑起来，
“When I first think about him, I get a stupid grin on my face,
你知道，想想他是一个多么有趣的人。
“you know, thinking about what a funny guy he is and all.
“但我通常会非常沮丧，
“But then I usually get depressed as hell,
“因为我只想到霍尔顿
“because I only think about Holden
“当我情绪激动的时候。
“when I’m feeling very emotional.
我可以变得‘安静’。”
I can get ‘quiet’ emotional.”
于是我也变成了这样子，
That’s what I had become…
安静的情感。
quiet emotional.
亲爱的男孩从温斯顿塞勒姆
Dear boy from Winston-Salem…
我非常抱歉这么久才回复你。
My most profound apologies for taking so long to reply.
我已经想了几个月你的信了。
I’ve been thinking about your letters for months.
我想……
I suppose that…
我有时也会很情绪化。
I too can get quite emotional about things sometimes.
但你是对的。
But you’re right.
你不能到处表露你该死的情绪
You can’t go around revealing your goddamn emotions
向世界。
to the world.
但如果你不能向世界展示你的情感，
But if you can’t reveal your emotions to the world,
那你该怎么处理它们？
then what are you supposed to do with them?
你怎么继续下去？
How do you go on?
因为……
‘Cause…
我总是想哭。
I feel like crying all the time.
乔安娜？它是什么？
Joanna? What is it?
局里出什么事了吗？
Has something happened at the agency?
不，不，不！一切都很好。
No, no, no! Everything’s fine.
我给你带了这个还有芒果汤。
I brought you these and some soup from Mangia.
我知道你喜欢他们的蘑菇大麦。
I know you like their mushroom barley.
这是很周到。
That’s very thoughtful.
你确实注意到了，不是吗？
You do pay attention, don’t you?
你在那些合同上做得很好。
You did a fine job on those contracts.
这些电子条款，
Those electronic clauses,
他们将是出版业的死亡。
they’ll be the death of publishing.
另一方面，与杰瑞的粉丝互动
On the other hand, engaging with Jerry’s fans
不负责任、不成熟和危险。
was irresponsible, immature and dangerous.
你知道吗？
You know about that?
我曾经因为更少的薪水解雇过助理。
I have fired assistants for less.
你为什么不解雇我？
Why didn’t you fire me?
因为这是非常不可能的
Because it’s highly unlikely
同样的错误你会犯两次。
you will make the same mistake twice.
还有，杰瑞喜欢你。
Also, Jerry likes you.
我不愿意改变他的日常生活习惯。
I am reluctant to alter his routine.
我不想成为例行公事。
I don’t want to be a routine.
我，嗯……
I, uh…
我有几个故事……
I have a couple of stories…
从长♥期♥的客户。
from long-term clients.
阅读它们，
Read them,
再看看适合哪本杂♥志♥
and, uh, figure out which magazines they’d be right for
然后把他们送出去。
and send them out.
如果我不喜欢他们怎么办？
What if I don’t like them?
那你的任务就是找出谁会。