我记得在我出生前…
I remember before I was born…
…在高胎位像个毛球一样蜷缩着
…wadded up like a fur ball in the highly overrated foetal position.
幸运的是,我没有幽闭恐惧症…
Luckily, I’m not claustrophobic…
…但在雨天,我的左肩还是觉得发紧
…but on rainy days, I still feel a tightness in my left shoulder.
如今,我的继母怀孕了…
Now that my stepmother’s pregnant…
……我明白 宝宝的经历…
…I understand what the baby’s going through…
…当然我一点都不嫉妒。
…and I’m not jealous at all.
真的,一点都没有。
Really, not at all.
– 你没有吃肉饼。 – 如果我吃了,就会吐。
– You’re not eating your meatloaf. – If I eat it, I’ll throw up.
– 你至少应该尝一下。 – 然后我可以少扔掉一点。
– You should at least try a little bit. – Then I’ll throw up a little bit.
你确定你想牵扯进来吗?
Are you sure you wanna get involved in this?
《宝贝小情人2》《甜蜜13岁》《小丫头2》
尽量把这些椅子排的紧凑些。
Try to scrunch these chairs together more.
爸爸,我也想这样。他们是椅子,没法收缩什么的。
Dad, I’m trying to. They’re chairs. They don’t scrunch.
我去开。
I’ll get it.
我们会在图书馆里放更多的椅子…
We’ll just set up more chairs in the library…
…就像以前传教那样。
…and pipe the sermon in like once before.
修一下扬声器。它让部长说话听起来像一个宇航员。
Fix that speaker. It makes the minister sound like an astronaut.
– 嗨,朱迪 – 嗨,亚瑟。
– Hello, Judy – Hi, Arthur.
– 嗨,朱迪。进来看看吧。 – 嗨,苏尔顿法斯先生。
– Hi, Judy. Come on in. – Hi, Mr. Sultenfuss.
看看谁来了。
Look who I found.
嗨,朱迪。
Hi, Judy.
你好。
Hi.
进来看看吧。
Come on in.
不用了。
That’s okay.
这只是具尸体。
It’s just a corpse.
我知道。
I know that.
你应该看看一个已经死了一两天的尸体…
You should see a body that’s been dead for a couple of days…
他们还没有被发现
…and they haven’t found it yet…
因为在一个公♥寓♥里,没有人拜访。
…’cause it was in an apartment, and no one came to visit.
或漂在河上。
Or floating in a river.
然后身体开始转变成这奇怪的绿色。
And then the body starts turning this weird shade of green.
你知道,像多汁的豌豆汤?
You know, like watery pea soup?
胳膊和腿最先开始腐烂恶化。
The arms and legs deteriorate first.
身体看起来像有四条臃肿四肢的葡萄干。
The body looks like a raisin with four fat legs.
反正。
Anyway.
这就是为什么我非常严肃地考虑过火化。
This is why I’m seriously considering cremation.
朱迪?
Judy?
朱迪!
Judy!
我认为你失去了有四条臃肿四肢的葡萄干,孩子。
I think you lost on the raisin with the four fat legs, honey.
你听到了吗,院长?你可以留下来。
Did you hear that, Dean? You can stay.
– 迪恩? – 是啊。
– Dean? – Yeah.
迪安·马丁。看他的眼睛。
Dean Martin. Look at his eyes.
– 粉红色的。 – 没错。迪安·马丁。
– They’re pink. – Exactly. Dean Martin.
– 捕鼠笼都放好了。 – 厕所在哪里?
– The cage is all set. – Where’s the bathroom?
你在开玩笑吗? 仓鼠不会去洗手间的。
Are you kidding? Hamsters don’t go to the bathroom.
你收入囊中吗?
Did you look in the bag?
今天我收到了你叔叔菲尔从洛杉矶给我寄来一张明信片。
I got a card from your Uncle Phil in Los Angeles today.
说他去徒手冲浪
Said he went body surfing.
我不知道我能否想象菲尔叔冲浪的样子。
I don’t know if I can picture Uncle Phil body surfing.
我也不知道。
I don’t know if I want to.
维达,拜托你件事。 只要你想,你完全可以说“不”。
Vada, I wanna ask you a favour. You can absolutely say no if you want to.
我只是把它拿出来讨论。
I’m just bringing it up for discussion.
但是,哈利,我想,我们说好不会那么做的。
But Harry, I thought we decided we weren’t gonna do this.
做什么?
Do what?
问题是,你的房♥间的在我们旁边,所以,我们认为…
The thing is, your room’s right next to ours, and so, we thought…
我想,我们可能把你搬到格拉姆的房♥间…
…I thought, we might move you to Gramoo’s room…
,我们可以用你的旧房♥间作为婴儿房♥。
…and we use your old room for the nursery.
我们半个晚上都要和新生儿在一起…
We’re gonna be up half the night with the newborn…
你要我搬走吗?
You want me to move?
好了,也不远。就在大厅啊。
Well, not far. Just down the hall.
另外,格拉姆的房♥间大多了。
Plus, Gramoo’s room is a lot bigger.
当然你也能看见你的邻居。
And you get a view of the neighbourhood.
好吧。没问题。
Okay. No problem.
好,谢谢。好女孩。
Okay, thanks. Attagirl.
哈利?
Harry?
亲爱的,对不起打断一下,但维达非常沮丧。
I’m sorry to interrupt, honey, but Vada’s upset.
她没事的。她一定会喜欢她的新房♥间。
She’s fine. She’ll love her new room.
看,婴儿每次踢一下我们都非常关注。
Look, we react to every kick this baby gives.
也许维达也试着告诉我们一些事情。
Maybe Vada’s trying to tell us something, too.
要记住的是你必须能想象到空挡。
The thing to remember is you must visualise a spare.
抛物线的弧形球必须和锥形的顶部相交…
The parabola of the arcing ball must intersect with the pyramid of the pins…
……正是这种攻角。
…at precisely this angle of attack.
妈的。
Shit.
“幻想”一个空位吗?
“Visualise” a spare?
你知道我的意思。
Well, you know what I mean.
那么,你怎么想?
So, what’s on your mind?
我呢?是什么让你觉得我在想事情?
Me? What makes you think there’s something on my mind?
你没看电视剧《全家福》,却来打保龄球。
(Archie Bunker是《All in the Family》人物)
You’re passing up Archie Bunker to go bowling.
你肯定有心事。
You’ve gotta have an angle.
不,我只是…
No, I just…
我只是觉得,如果我们两个有一个晚上时间可以谈谈。
…thought it’d be nice if the two of us had an evening out so we could talk.
– 雪莉已经告诉我所有关于性的事情。 – 她也告诉我了。
– Shelly’s already told me all about sex. – She told me, too.
我是说,她告诉我 她告诉了你性方面的事情。
I mean, she told me she told you about sex.
我知道关于性的事情,就在我遇见雪莉没过多久的时候。
I personally knew about sex long before I met Shelly.
我想是的。
I figured you did.
是。
Yes.
全中。真不赖。
Strike. Not bad at all.
不,这次讲的不是性。
No, this talk isn’t about sex.
最近发生了些大变化,你担心失去房♥间而沮丧…
There’ve been a lot of changes, and you’re upset about losing your room…
但宝宝需要有地方待啊。
…but the baby’s gotta go somewhere.
不,没问题。我理解。真的。
No, it’s okay. I understand. Really.
亲爱的,真是非常成熟的回答。
Honey, that’s very mature.
我为你感到骄傲,维达。
I’m proud of you, Vada.
也许我应该搬到到中国住。
Maybe I should move to China.
每个家庭一个孩子。这样,你就不会失去自己的房♥间了。
One kid per family. That way you don’t lose your room.
要保住你的房♥间,我们会把婴儿在后院的。
Just keep your room, and we’ll put the baby in the backyard.
别这样。我们已经有了个车♥库♥。
Don’t do that. We’ve got the whole garage.
就放在动力割草机和除草剂当中。
Right between the power mower and the weedkiller.
爸爸,我在开玩笑。
Dad, I’m kidding.
你可以用我的房♥间。
You can have the room.
– 真的吗? – 对。
– Seriously? – Seriously.
很好。
Great.
我13了。
I’m 13.
也许是时候我该有自己的公♥寓♥了。
Maybe it’s about time I got my own apartment.
– 我的妈妈不能再要更多的孩子了。 – 我妈妈也是。
– My mother can’t have any more kids. – Neither can mine.
她已经死了。
She’s dead.
雪莉怀孕了。
It’s Shelly who’s pregnant.
你怎么看?
What do you think?
我倾向于“西番莲”。
I’m leaning towards “Passion Flower.”
“它结合了传统的花香与麝香,檀香的香味。“
“It combines the traditional floral scent with the musky aroma of sandalwood.”
– 你在看什么? – 这是凯文。
– What are you staring at? – It’s Kevin.
我不想让他看到我。
I don’t want him to see me.
– 看到你吗?他在那里可以闻到你。 – 哦,天呐,他过来了
– See you? He can smell you from there. – Oh, God, he’s coming over here.
自然点,就像往常一样。
Act natural, totally natural.
– 嗨,凯文。 – 嗨。
– Hi, Kevin. – Hi.
你看起来很酷,苏尔顿法斯。 你看起来像只蚱蜢。
You look cool, Sultenfuss. You look like a grasshopper.
– 发生什么事了吗? – 他喜欢你。
– What’s the matter? – He likes you.
喜欢我吗? 他说,我看起来像只蚱蜢。
Likes me? He said I look like a grasshopper.
男孩总是假装他们恨你,尤其是当他们喜欢你时。
Boys always pretend they hate you when they like you.
真荒谬。
That’s ridiculous.
所以,如果你真的不能忍♥受有人…
So, if you really can’t stand someone…
…然后你假装你真很喜欢他们吗?
…then you pretend that you’re really crazy about them?
我不知道。
I don’t know.
我不在乎。凯文是个混♥蛋♥,我不喜欢他了。
And I don’t care. Kevin’s a jerk, and I don’t like him anymore.
他是你的了。
He’s all yours.
如果“蚂蚱”是一个爱称,看来我有很多东西要学。
If “grasshopper” is a term of endearment, I’ve got a lot to learn.
所以,你们为自己的宝宝想好名字了?
So, have you guys thought of any new names for the baby?
是啊。如果是个女孩,我倾向于埃斯梅。
Yeah. If it’s a girl, I’m kind of leaning toward Esme.
埃斯梅?
Esme?