外星人报到（1999）

Without my blasted electron accelerator, the l.S.S. will blow!
我像个分尸凶手
I feel like a hacksaw murderer.
电子加速器起什么作用
What the heck is an electron accelerator anyway?
它可以启动主要推动器的电源
It’s a simple low-amperage power source that activates the main thrusters.
就像交流发电机吗
Oh. Kind of like an alternator?
那是什么
What’s an alternator?
它可以启动汽车引擎
It, uh, turns over the engine in a car.
汽车
A car?
这就对了 我们有救了
That’s it! That should work! We’re saved!
不一定
Not quite.
肯定行
Yes, we are.
喔 吼 哈 哈 哈
Whoo-hoo! Ha, ha, ha.
我偷♥拍♥了你 什么都有
Listen, I’ve been– I’ve been videotaping you. I’ve got everything.
包括太空船 祖特
I got the ship. I got Zoot.
我还有你火星人的样子
I even got you in your Martian form.
我已经剪辑成新闻 本想交给电视台
I was putting together a story, and I was gonna get it on the air,
可是我办不到
but I couldn’t do it.
为什么
Why not?
因为我喜欢你
Because I like you, Martin.
我喜欢你
I like you. I–
对不起 我得向你道歉
And I’m sorry. I- I just– I’m sorry. I j–
非常抱歉 我不该骗你的
I apologize. I shouldn’t have lied to you.
你是个好人 蒂姆
You’re a good human, Tim O’Hara.
谢谢你这样说
Oh, oh, yeah. I’m a terrific–
马丁 你又回来了
Martin! You’re back!
我也喜欢你
And I like you too.
我以前根本没有感情
I’ve never had feelings before!
现在 我们去修太空船
Now, let’s go fix my ship.
好的 不 现在还不行
Yeah, okay– No! No, we got a problem–
布瑞丝五分钟后 就要播出你的录像了
the tapes. Brace goes on with the Martian story in five minutes.
糟糕
Oh, blotz.
我们得设法取回带子
Yeah, and I got to get these tapes
并阻止她上电视
and get to Brace before she gets on the air.
没时间了 你没办法分身
But there’s not enough time. You can’t be in two places at once.
等等 来吧
Yeah. Wait a minute! Come on!
真的有外星人吗
Is there an alien amongst us?
真的有外星人吗
Is there an alien amongst us?
真的有外星人
Is there an alien among–
比利
Billy,
什么事
now what?
我要变成布瑞丝
I want to be Brace Channing.
对不起 排队等吧
Yeah, well, get in line. I’m sorry.
我没时间给你签名
I really don’t have time to do any auto–
这很落后
Quaint, aren’t they?
现在的年轻人比这先进多了
These days, most of our young are born cable-ready.
你就是
You’re the–
爸爸
Daddy!
四分钟后直播 请各就各位
Heads up. Four minutes to air. First positions, everyone.
蒂姆 你在赶什么 你脸色不太好
Tim! What are you doing here? You look, uh, tired.
为了编辑这盘带子 我和布瑞丝一夜没睡
Oh, yeah. I was up all night with Brace working on the alien story.
2号♥带子有点问题
I made a couple of mistakes in tape number two,
这才是正版
but that’s the corrected version.
我不用照镜子 就知道没问题
Now if I could just get through this without having to look in a mirror.
嗯 – 距直播还有三分钟
Hmm. – Coming up on three minutes to air.
蒂姆
Tim!
马丁 是你吗
Martin, is that you?
这还用问
Does a wild bear blotz in the woods?
好 直接读稿子就可以了 去吧
Good, good. Okay. Just– Just read the copy as written. Go.
你好 布瑞丝
Hi, Brace.
恭喜你了 布瑞丝
Congratulations, Brace.
是的 我是布瑞丝
Yes, I’m Brace Channing.
祝你好运 – 让我们为布瑞丝鼓掌
Good luck. – Let’s hear it for Brace!
科利叶博士 你就要成为名人了
Dr. Coleye, you’re going to become a very famous man.
准备开始
Thirty I.D. and open.
KGSC – 一号♥摄象机 试机
KGSC. – Ready camera one live.
南加州整点新闻主持人霍华德
The news for southern California with anchor Howard Greenly
以及特派记者布瑞丝小姐
and on special assignment, Brace Channing.
她怎么这副打扮
What the hell is she wearing?
布瑞丝就这样
You know Brace.
就要流行了
Yeah. Must be trendy.
还有15秒 布瑞丝
Fifteen seconds, people.
宝贝儿 把口香糖吐掉
Sweetie-pie, get rid of the gum.
比利
Billy!
快吐掉
Come on, Brace!
别管她 比利
Leave the gum, Billy!
叫她吐掉 比利
Get the gum, Billy!
还有10秒 – 不
Brace, ten seconds. – No.
二号♥摄象机准备
Ready? Camera two live in five–
吐掉吧 布瑞丝
Give me the gum, Brace!
不 不 不
No! No! No!
4秒 – 不要啊
Four– – No!
别吐掉
Leave it! Leave it!
3秒
Three–
把它吐掉
Get the damn gum!
真的有外星人吗
Are there aliens amongst us?
这里是现场直播的报导
This report is being broadcast live.
吐掉了
The gum is out.
多谢 菲力克斯
Oh, good. Thanks to you, Felix.
主持人霍华德和特派记者布瑞丝 – 开始
And now, Howard Greenly and Brace Channing! – And cue Howard.
各位晚上好 我是霍华德
Good evening. I’m Howard Greenly.
她怎么了
What’s up with her?
我不知道
I don’t know.
今晚南加州因为一条特别新闻 成为全国瞩目的焦点
…a story developing throughout the day right here in southern California.
本台记者布瑞丝小姐 独家报导此事
Our own Brace Channing has been following the events as they take place.
布瑞丝 请
Brace?
她怎么了
What is she doing?
霍华德
Howard–
二号♥摄象机 开始 – 不
Camera two go. – No!
布瑞丝
Brace?
布瑞丝
Brace!
快读稿子
Just read the copy!
帮我拿变形丸
Just get the nurplex.
怎么回事
What’s going on here?
真的存在外星人吗
Is there an alien amongst us?
好了
Oh. It’s all right.
外星人研究中心的生物学家
According to Dr. Elliot Coleye,
科利叶博士认为
chief biologist and head researcher for the SETI group,
答案是
the answer is–
存在
Yes.
她是外星人
She’s an alien!
才不是 她是我女儿
She’s not an alien. She’s my daughter!
各位将看到外星人的真实片段
What you’re about to see is that evidence of the actual footage of the alien.
请各位注意
But I warn you–
片段的内容 将令人十分震惊
it’s appearance is unlike anything you are likely to have seen before.
她到桌子下面了 她为什么到桌子下面
She’s going under the table. She’s going under the table!
或许并不适合孩童观看
probably not Suitable for children to watch
切换
And go.
♪ Feelin’ hot hot hot ♪
怎么回事
What the hell is this?
带子弄错了
Somebody mislabeled the tapes!
找到了
Come on. Got it!
怎么办 继续直播吗
I don’t know. Let’s go back live.
蒂姆跟我女儿在干什么
Tim! What is O’Hara doing with my daughter?
我不知道 我没看见
I- I- I don’t know. I–
快走吧
Get me out of here!
切断直播
Get me the network!
蒂姆 你死定了
You’re a dead man, O’Hara!
快点
Come on!
还是很顺利嘛
I think that went pretty well, don’t you?
别紧张 别紧张
All right. Calm down.
给我搜
Search everywhere!