外星人报到（1999）

什么 – 我呆会儿得上厕所
I’m sorry? – I have to go to the bathroom later. Later.
酒杯在厨房♥
Um, glasses are in the kitchen.
我去拿
Why don’t I go get them,
你随便坐吧
and you just kind of make yourself at home.
好的
Okay.
你家很不错嘛
Fantastic apartment, Tim.
谢谢
Thank you very much.
终于开了
Ah, yeah, there we go.
好脏的窝
Oh! What a slob!
嘿
Hey!
♪ Yes, let’s fall in love ♪
噢
Ooh!
♪ Why shouldn’t we ♪
♪ Fall in love ♪
♪ Our hearts are made of it ♪
就是这儿
Mmm, that’s the spot.
♪ Let’s take a chance ♪
♪ Why be afraid of it, ba-ba-doo-day ♪
哦 耶 嗯
Ooh, yeah. Mmm.
♪ Let’s close our eyes ♪
♪ And make our own paradise ♪
哦 不 用力点 象刚才那样
Oh, oh, no, harder, like before.
♪ Little we know of it, still we can try ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
哦
Ahhh.
酒呢 – 呃
Where’s the wine? – Uh, uh–
♪ Why shouldn’t we fall in love ♪
♪ Now is the time for it While we are young ♪
我去拿
I’ll get it.
♪ Let’s fall in love ♪
我让我老爸再给你一个机会
You know, I asked Daddy about giving you another chance.
太好了
Oh, oh, good!
酒来了
Here we go.
谢谢你
Oh, lovely. Thanks.
我想你看到的坠机事件
Hmm. You know, I thought that crash of yours
可能是个不错的新闻
might make a kind of cute little story.
是吗 – 嗯
Oh, really? Good. That’s– – Mm-hmm.
噢 噢 噢
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
别这样
Cut it out!
什么声音 – 哪有什么声音
What was that? – Uh, I didn’t hear anything.
把她赶走
Tim, get rid of–
你没事吧
Are you all right?
我得先去趟厕所
Yes, I just– I really have to go to the bathroom.
快点回来
Well, hurry back.
等我一会
Be a minute.
♪ Why shouldn’t we fall in love ♪
♪ Now’s the time while we’re young ♪
蒂姆
Tim!
让我出来
Get me outta here!
别出声
Stop making all that noise!
告诉她别再打我
Tell her to stop punching me!
还有 你为什么要 让一个女人来你家里
Besides, what are you doing letting that female in your apartment?
你不懂 我早就想邀请她来我家做客了
I’ve been waiting a long time to get Brace Channing into my apartment.
但是你喜欢利兹 我全都知道 – 什么
But you like Lizzie! I could tell through your saliva exchange. – Excuse me?
听着 那天你神志不清时 利兹来过 我
Look, Tim, the other night, when you were unconscious, Lizzie came here.
你怎么 你吻了她 – 是的
And you what, you kissed her? – Yes–
不 不 不 是你吻她
No, no– Well, you did.
我变成了你的模样
I did a molecular identiclone of your body.
你说什么
What? You what?
你不懂
You’d never understand.
你们还以为电子邮件很先进呢
You people think E-mail is amazing.
当时
The point is, while I was you,
我进入你的潜意识
I tapped into your subconscious,
相信我 你喜欢利兹
and trust me, you like Lizzie.
所以我才会替你吻她
That’s why I thought it was okay for you to kiss her.
我没吻她 是你干的
I- I- I didn’t kiss her, you did!
找到了
Bingo!
蒂姆 我从后门进来了
Tim? I let myself in the back door.
有人吗
Hello?
这么浪漫
Oh, isn’t this nice?
利兹 是你吗
Lizzie, is that you?
你真漂亮
Oh, you look, um, nice.
他在厕所
He’s in the bathroom,
轮到你了
and he’s all yours.
我的目的已经达到了
I got what I came for.
真是太棒了
Oh, this is great.
蒂姆 你时间不多
Tim! We don’t have a lot of time here!
我已经糊涂了 从你出现后事情就一团糟
I’m confused, all right? Everything was going along fine until you came along.
别自欺欺人 平凡人也有自己的感情
Don’t kid yourself. Even a substandard species such as yours has feelings.
你必须冷静下来 好好想一想
Just slow down for one millisecond and look into your heart.
你想到谁了
Whose face do you see?
布瑞丝 我想
Look, Brace, I think–
是你
Lizzie!
别走
Whoa! Lizzie, no, wait, wait–
求你了
No, please!
你最好有道理
This better be good.
我有
Oh, it is. It is.
还记得我昨天 带到码头去的那人吗
Uh, remember that guy I was with at the pier yesterday?
你的马丁叔叔
Your Uncle Martin.
他不是我叔叔
He’s not my uncle.
他是火星人
He’s a Martian!
是吗
Yeah.
别编故事了
You are such a jerk!
我没编 他确实是火星人 这是事实
No, no, no. He’s a Martian!It’s the truth.
其实是他吻了你 不是我
In fact, he’s the one who kissed you, not me.
真的
Really?
当然
Yeah.
他的头还在脸盆里
His head’s in my sink right now.
去睡吧 你脸色很差
Get some sleep. You look awful.
利兹
Lizzie–
要是录像带里有什么 重要的东西
And if there was anything kinky on that videotape,
去找布瑞丝要吧
you better get Brace to give it back.
我什么时候变成工人了
Fine! Since when did I become a mechanic?
我象工作服吗
Do I look like overalls?
马丁叔叔
Uncle Martin!
别切断红线
Okay. Don’t cut the red one.
是蓝线吗 – 噢
Or was it the blue one? – Ooh!
我根本就看不清楚
I can’t see a thing down here!
谢谢
Oh, thanks.
好疼啊
Ow! Geez, that hurt!
别这样
No!
小姐 安静一点 孩子在睡觉呢
Lady, please! Put a sock in it! Quiet! The baby’s sleeping!
马丁 我们得尽快赶到电视台
Martin, I told you. We gotta get to the TV station before Brace does.
把袋子打开 – 好 好
Open the bag! – Okay, okay.
我呼吸困难 – 对不起
I can’t breathe! – I’m sorry.
祖特在哪里
Where is that confounded Zoot?
祖特 祖特
Zoot? Uh– Zoot! Zoot!
我想他是在烘干
I think he’s in the middle of a spin cycle.
别管他
Leave him!
把我的手拿出来
Quick, Tim! Get my arm out of the other bag!
好的 好的 – 好的
All right. Okay, okay, okay. – Okay.
好了 – 太好了 指向太空船
Okay. – Yes! Excellent! Toward the ship!
哈 什么 – 抬高一点
Huh? What? – Higher! Higher! Okay, here!
好了
Here we go! Yes!
放松点
Easy. Oh, no!
别把我们缩小
Oh, no! Don’t send me to the shrink!
怎么回事 – 呃 噢
What was that? – Uh-oh.
我的好宝贝
Sweetie-pie,
这些东西太好了
this is the most amazing footage I’ve ever seen.
菲力克斯 上六点的新闻
Felix! O’Hara’s tapes are going on the 6:00.
范 ·甘迪 – 在 – 通知全国联播网
Van Gundy.0 – Yeah? – call the network.
布瑞丝做全国直播 这可是世纪新闻
Brace is going out live with the story of the century!
我有点晕车
I’m feeling a little carsick!
哦 – 对不起
Oh! – Sorry.
蒂姆 我受不了 了
I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore!
我们没时间了 忍♥着点儿
We’re running out of time. Try and pull yourself together.
为什么 反正也完蛋了
Why? We’re all doomed anyway.
没有电子加速器 太空船要爆♥炸♥的