外星人报到（1999）

Good luck, you two.
看来你要错过航♥班♥了
Something tells me you’re gonna miss your flight!
再过两分钟大家都没命
Then in two minutes, we all die.
你骗人
You’re lying.
你能保证吗 科利叶
Are you certain about that, Coleye?
我可不能保证
Because I’m not.
你在说什么
What are you saying?
放了他
Release him.
放了他
Release him?
我这一辈子一直想证明 外星人的存在
I have spent an entire career trying to prove that aliens exist.
他是很充分的证据
Now he’s my proof!
不论死活 他都得留下
Dead or alive, he’s staying with me!
马丁 – 怎么回事
Martin? – I don’t understand! I– I–
你真是个笨蛋 科利叶
Coleye, you always were a little blotz.
什么
What?
尼涅特
Neenurt!
很长时间没能听见 我名字的正确发音了
I haven’t heard that name in a long time. Pronounced properly, anyway.
原来你也是外星人
You mean it was you all along?
我真不敢相信
I can’t believe this!
我早该知道
I should have known!
你是个火星人 我
You’re a Martian? I was– Uhh! Aah!
等会
Wait.
就是你在码头跟踪我们的
You’re the one I saw at the pier.
我得赶在他们之前 找到你们
I was trying to get to you before they did.
30年来我一直想回家
I’ve been trying to hitch a ride home for 30 years!
太美妙了
What a beauty!
对了 这应该是你的
Oh, by the way, I believe these belong to you.
我的天线
My antennae.
没有它我就回不了家了
I can’t go home without these.
也找不到女朋友
I have a hard enough time getting dates as it is.
我的天线也有问题
Mine’s always giving me trouble too.
只能看到黑白图象
And everything’s in black and white.
广♥告♥也全是杂音
And those commercials– “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz”–
这口香糖早就没有味道了
That gum lost its flavor in ’66.
好了 我们走吧 走吧
All right. Let’s go. Let’s go. Come on.
该走了 再见
Got to go. Farewell.
有空回来看看
Come back for a visit sometime.
也许吧
Maybe.
我发现地球人 还是有一线希望的
I’m beginning to see a glimmer of potential among you Earthlings.
给你们的忠告:好好珍惜大海
One word of advice: You’ll never completely advance as a culture
这样才会有所进步
until you take care of your oceans
更要停播那些无聊的节目
and do away with daytime talk shows.
再见了 这对情侣
Goodbye, you crazy lovebirds!
别这么歇斯底里好吗
Ah, stop being such a hysterical housecoat.
再见 祖特
See ya, Zoot.
走吧 走吧 咱们上路吧
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ Keep them dogies rollin’
外星人
Aliens!
等等 别走
Wait! No!
别走 回来
Please! No! You can’t! Don’t go! Come back!
不
No-o-o!
什么玩意
What the– Eeew!
口香糖
Gum. Gum!
外星人的口香糖 太好了
Wait, this is the alien gum! Yes!
等等 我要是你就不那样做
Wait, wait. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
可你并不是我
Well, you’re not me, are ya?
我可以得到外星人的资料了
I can learn more about them from their leftover–
太好了
Wha– That’s brilliant!
我身上的每个分子都在转变
I can feel every molecule of my body starting to change!
糟糕
Oh, no.
不许动
Hold it! Don’t move!
不 – 别开枪 用麻♥醉♥枪♥
No! – Stop! Don’t shoot! Get the tranquilizer gun.
住手 白♥痴♥ 我不是外星人
No, not that, you idiots! I’m not a Martian.
我们找到他了 快拿麻♥醉♥枪♥
We got him, boys. Get the tranquilizer gun.
见到一个活的 活的外星人
We’ve got one– a real live Martian!
是我 科利叶 不 是我 – 快拿麻♥醉♥枪♥
It’s me. Coleye. No! No! – Get the tranquilizer gun.
真♥相♥将大白于天下
The truth is out there!
他们一定要听我们讲 我们有证据
We are not leaving until they listen to us! We’ve got proof!
我见过外星人 他复♥制♥过我的身体
I saw one! He cloned my body!
他现在就在地球的某一个地方
He could be anywhere by now!
真♥相♥将会大白
The truth is out there!
这是记者比利发自 市政♥府♥的报导
So that’s the story here from Santa Barbara City Hall. I’m Bill Randall, KGSC.
真♥相♥大白 真♥相♥大白
The truth, the truth, the truth, the truth, the truth!
这就是我所要
It’s all I–
醒一醒 我给你倒了杯茶
Hey, sleepy. Brought you some tea.
我在想
Listen, I’ve been thinking.
既然是马丁吻我
Now that I really know what happened between us,
也许我们该恢复原来的关系
I think maybe we should just go back to the way things used to be.
我们原来的朋友关系
Our friendship really does mean a lot to me.
我也一直在想
Yeah, well, I’ve been thinking too, and, uh,
我的朋友够多了
I think I’ve got enough friends.
人类前进一大步 火星人却退步
One giant leap for man, one step backward for Martians.
祖特
Zoot?
你们好 蒂姆 利兹 我们回来了
Hey, Tim, Lizzie! We’re back!
祖特
Zoot–
拜托你叫服务生好吗
Oh! Geez! Call a skycap, for cryin’ out loud.
怎么回事
What’s wrong?
没事 我们决定回来和你一起住
Nothing. We’ve decided to stay here with you.
什么
Y-You what?
没有你们 我会很孤单的
I kept thinking how lonely I was gonna be without you.
你又说过肯定会想我
And since you said you were gonna miss me,
这样一来 大家都不必伤心难过了
I thought I’d save us both the heartache of separation.
马丁
B-B-B-But, Martin,
你不走我就不能想念你了
I can’t miss you if you don’t go!
没错 这不是更好吗
Exactly! Isn’t it wonderful?
再见 尼涅特
Farewell, Neenurt!
等等 他要去哪
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where’s he going?
当然是回火星
To Mars, of course!
马丁 你在干什么
Martin. Martin. What are you doing?
蒂姆 既然我们要住在一起 家具当然得换一换
Tim, since we’ll be living together, let’s do something about this furniture.
住在一起 什么意思
Living together? What do you mean–
我想这沙发可以扔了
I say we get rid of this couch,
像个正常火星人一样 买♥♥套双曲线长椅
and buy a hyperbolic resting chamber like normal beings have.
不 不 你不能住这里
No! No! You’re not staying here.
谁想吃冰淇淋 我想冰淇淋可想疯了
Hey, who wants ice cream? Tonight I’m craving praline swirl.
马丁
Martin–
你以为我
You think this is funny?
你没见过他吃冰淇淋的样子 那可不雅观
You haven’t seen him eat ice cream. It’s not pretty!
太美了 太美了
Rocky road! Rocky road! Rocky road!
马丁 你不能
Martin, you can’t–
他不睡觉 也不让我睡觉
He doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t let me sleep.
我不能和他住在一起
This can’t happen. I can’t have a Martian for a roommate.
不能 不能
I can’t. I just–
或许可以吧
Oh, maybe I can.
祖特 有好东西吃 来点吧
Zoot! We’ve got cookie dough. Want some?
祖特 祖特 你在哪
Zoot. Zoot, where are you?
请给我来杯饮料
Bartender, a Mai “Tide,” please.
多好的杂♥志♥
Ah, Victoria’s Secret.
地球人真会享福
You people know how to live!
棒呆了
Lycra.