我与赫夫共进晚餐（2018）

That I must find a way to enjoy every waking moment,
不管代价是什么
whatever the cost.
像这样的侏儒会阻碍你的发育的
去你♥妈♥的♥ 滚远点
啊 嘘 嘘
Ah, ah, shh, shh.
当世人看到我是一个活生生真实存在的人
When the world realize you are a real person
而不仅仅是一个没有思想的娃娃时
and not just an amusing sight,
他们就会感到害怕
they get scared.
你说这是为什么？
Why is that, you think?
为什么人们会害怕像我这样的人？
Why would people be afraid of someone like me?
我不知道
I don’t know.
这次又是什么？
What is it?
夜生活才刚开始
Our night is about to improve.
司机！
Driver!
-嘿 赫夫！-嘿 你还好吗 伙计？
– Ah, Hervé! – Hey, how are you, man?
-你好吗？-你的妻子和孩子们还好吗？
– You good? – How’s the wife and kids, huh?
真♥他♥妈♥棒
Perfect.
嗨
Hi.
真好
Yeah.
坐吧 坐吧
Come on. Come on.
你好
How are you?
赫夫 我说过我不喝酒
Hervé, I told you I don’t drink.
是噢
Huh.
没人会知道的
Who’s going to know?
天知地知你知我知
It’s just you and me.
多久了？
How long’s it been?
-什么？ -“什么”？不是吧兄弟
– What? – “What.” Come on.
丹尼 我们现在是朋友了
Danny, we’re friends now.
你可以告诉我的
You can tell me.
不关你的事
Not that it’s any of your fucking business,
但已经32天了
but it’s been 32 days.
三十二天？
Thirty-two days? That is all?
啧啧啧 听起来很糟糕
Sounds bad.
你觉得听起来很糟糕 但我觉得很好
You think that sounds bad? That’s actually really good.
如果真的好的话 谁还会数着日子过呢
Who would count the days if it was good?
既然你已经知道了我的故事
Now that you’ve got my story,
我们为什么不继续听你的呢？
why don’t we continue with yours?
好吧 就是在被暴揍的那晚
Okay. The night of the attack.
我决定离开法国
It was decided that I must leave France.
当你是一个怪咖 你就会去那些怪咖去的地方
When you are a freak, you go where the freaks go.
纽约市是我唯一觉得自己高的地方
New York City is the only place I ever feel tall.
你想要那把枪吗？把它捡起来
You want that gun? Pick it up.
你想要那把枪？把它捡起来
You want that gun? Pick it up.
我希望你捡起来
I wish you would.
我希望你捡起来
Hervé: I wish you would.
垃圾玩意儿
那两个月内 只要我坐着 我就会边吃东西
Hervé: For two months, I sit and eat
边看约翰·韦恩 查克·赫斯顿的作品
and watch John Wayne, Chuck Heston,
还有史蒂夫·麦奎因和吉利根
Steve McQueen, Gilligan.
所有的伟人演员
All the greats.
我就是这样学会说英语的
That’s how I learned to speak English.
这个方式很难赚钱
That’s earning money the hard way.
我当时就知道每一个人都在卧室里的
I realize there is fantasy
电视机旁享受着它带来的梦幻之旅
in everyone’s living room.
我必须上电视
And I must be a part of it.
这个新世界 电视的世界
This new world, the world of television.
-也没有人在这里跑步，对吧？
– And nobody run in here either, huh?
那时我才知道赫夫维勒查泽应该成为什么样子的人
That’s when I see who Hervé Villechaize can become.
一个家喻户晓的演员
An artist who everyone know.
像达利一样
Like Dali.
一个成为艺术品的艺术家
An artist who himself become a work of art.
你自己就是艺术品为什么还要画呢？
Why paint it when you can be it?
就是那个时候你开始想要出名？
So that’s the moment you decided that you wanted to be famous?
不！是我必须出名！
No! When I must be famous.
就像你必须是编辑 这是命运对我的号♥召
Like you must be the editor. It is a calling.
能够参与到你们其中我感到万分荣幸 西多尼
I can’t tell you how proud we are to be part of this, Sydney.
-额…
– No…
你能稍等一下吗？
Can you hold on a second?
怎么了？
What is it?
有一个很矮的法国人
There’s a little French guy
在接待处拿着一把刀
in reception with a knife.
一个什么人？
A what?
他说他想和你谈谈
He says he wants to talk to you.
我只占用你五分钟的时间 罗斯坦先生
I just need five minute of your time, Mr. Rothstein.
一切都很好 梅兰妮
Everything’s fine, Melanie.
我能帮你什么 先生…？
How can I help you, Mr….?
我叫赫夫·维勒查泽
My name is Hervé Villechaize.
我是这一代人中最好的法国演员
I am the best French actor of this generation.
我需要最好的经纪人
And I need the best agent of this generation
代表我
to represent me.
你是最优秀的 不是吗？
You are the best, no?
你能把刀子放下来吗？
Can you put the knife down, please?
明天
Tomorrow…
明天
and tomorrow…
再一个明天
and tomorrow
蹑步前进
creeps in this petty pace
一天接着一天地
from day to day,
直到最后一秒钟的时间
to the last syllable of recorded time.
我们所有的昨天
And all our yesterdays
不过替傻子们照亮了到死亡的土壤中去的路
have lighted fools the way to dusty death.
熄灭了吧 熄灭了吧 短促的烛光
Out, out, brief candle!
人生不过是一个行走的影子，
Life is but a walking shadow,
一个在舞台上
a poor player that struts
指手划脚的拙劣的伶人
and frets his hour upon the stage,
登场了片刻 就在无声无臭中悄然退下
and then is heard no more.
它是一个愚人所讲的故事
It is a tale told by an idiot,
充满着喧哗和骚动
full of sound and fury,
找不到一点意义
signifying nothing.
神他妈…
Jesus fucking Christ.
就这样
Hervé: And that was that.
我决定成为一名电影明星
I decided to become a movie star.
你这分明就是逼迫人家当你经纪人
You don’t just decide to become a movie star.
一个人个子可以小
Hervé: Just because a man is small
野心可不能小
doesn’t mean he has to act it.
詹姆斯·邦德
James Bond.
他点亮了我的生命
He saved my life.
尼克·纳克
Nick Nack…
很高兴见到你
pleasure to meet you.
坐
Sit down.
看他们
Watch them.
找到你的站位 找准确了
And find your mark. Find your mark.
看 总会出现这种事
See, this is what happens
随着时间流逝人们总会忘记他们应有的谦卑
when people forget how lucky they are.
罗杰 你放心吧 我不会
You don’t never have to worry about me, Roger.
那时我才发现
Hervé: It is then that I discover
我的病有一种神圣的治疗方法
there is a divine cure for my condition.
是什么？ 成功吗？
And by divine cure, you mean success?
不 是人生巅峰！
No. I mean success.
最后的最后 我发现我的母亲为我感到骄傲
Hervé: Finally, I realize my mother is proud of me.
为她的小男人感到骄傲
Proud of her little man.
直到今天
Still, to this day,
那仍然是我人生中最伟大的时刻之一
it is one of the greatest moment of my life.
你知道我在想什么吗？
You know what I think?
我觉得我们工作都很辛苦
I think we worked well.
所以我们应该
I think we deserve
好好犒劳下自己
a big, fat treat, on me.
-嗨 -哦
– Hi. – Uh-oh.
我是迪斯尼
I’m Destiny.
-这是我的朋友布里安娜 -你们的电♥话♥在哪？
– This is my friend Brianne. – Where’s your phone?
丹尼 来吧
Danny, come on.
丹尼 现在不要打电♥话♥给你妈妈
Don’t call your mother now, Danny.
你好 迪斯尼
Hello, Destiny.