早间主播（2010）

Whoa, let you lick I heard the song.
“让你舔” 唱得不错
I’m a producer for Daybreak and we would so love to have you on our show.
我是《早间新闻》的编导 很想邀请你参加节目
We’d give you twice as much time as the Today show.
我们给你超过《今日》节目两倍的时间
And you could play four songs from your new record. Just think about it.
还可以播出你最新的4首歌♥ 请考虑一下
I’ll take you to the candy shop
我带你去糖果店
I’ll let you lick the lollypop
让你舔着棒棒糖
Go ‘head girl, Don’t you stop
来吧 姑娘 别停下
Keep going ’til you hit the spot, whoa!
让你爽到口水喷射的极点!
I’ll take you to the candy shop
我带你去糖果店
Boy one taste of what I got
你也试试我这味吧
I’ll have you spending all you got…
保证让你弹尽粮绝…
Ready one, take one! Ready two!
1号♥画面准备 切换 2号♥准备
Well!
很好!
On the rabbi story, do you want the transvestite prostitute
那个犹太教的故事 你是想让变性人妓♥女♥…
to be dressed as a man or a woman? A man.
打扮成男的还是女的? 男的
Man. No, a woman.
男的 不 女的
No, have him/her start the segment as a woman and then,
让他/她 开始穿成女的…
boom, after the break he/she comes back as a man!
然后中间返场之后穿成男的!
Yes. That’s it. Yes. Yes.
好主意 是啊
Back to you, Colleen.
请柯琳继续
All right! They’ve cut! Both. Emphatically.
行了 画面都切走了 两个 都很明显
Here are the ratings.
收视率情况
I know, I know.
了解 了解
Yes, yes.
好啊 好啊
And when we come back, we’ll tell you about
稍后回来 我们给您介绍…
new ways to cope with menopause.
平稳度过更年期的新招…
New doorknobs.
新门把手
OK.
好的
And am I doing it right? Yes.
我动作对吗? 是的
How do you know? You’re not looking.
你们怎么知道? 也没看着我
Or we could do a whole series on senior weight loss. A five-parter.
我们能做个中年人减肥的系列节目 一共五期
We could get that health expert, you know, the one with the…
找个减肥专家… 就是…
It’s good, it’s good, it’s good. I’ll do it.
很好 很好 我就去做
Wait! Wait, look.
慢点 你看看
The week-to-weeks are better and total viewers are up by five percent!
每周收视率都在涨 核心观众增长了5%
And those are not good enough!
可还不够好
Turns out the burger patties were contaminated with E. Coli,
结果查出肉饼中含有大肠杆菌
which can cause cramping and diarrhea.
能够导致腹痛和腹泻
Lose the ticker, music in… We’ll be right back on Daybreak.
去掉滚动新闻 加入音乐… 稍后回到《早间新闻》
Dissolve the logo. And mark.
去掉字幕 和节目标识
And we’re out.
直播完毕
Great, a story about uncontrollable shitting and look who gets it.
唉 这种拉屎不把门的新闻没人愿意听
Well, it’s not my sort of thing.
是啊 我才不播
Can I just say one thing? That’s our job.
我能提醒你么? 咱扫厕所的就别嫌臭
I know you think you’re above it and, of course, you were above it
你觉得自己高高在上 当然 是曾经高高在上
before you got fired. But now, guess what, you’re down in the muck
被炒了之后不也沦落到这粪坑了吗
with the rest of us, Mike.
大家一块臭
And yet I still have standards, unfortunately for you.
牛粪堆上也有鲜花 我还有自己的底线
Suppose I don’t have standards? Sure, you do.
我就没底线? 你当然有底线
When you got your Pap smear on air, you wore a silk robe.
《子♥宫♥检查》的新闻播出时 你不是穿了丝绸睡衣吗
OK! Classy touch.
我靠 服装可真是神来之笔啊
We’re back in five… That is it!
5秒之后直播 到此为止
I’ve had it with you! I’ve had it!
我受够了 我受够了!
Three… and two… Go, two.
3… 2… 2号♥画面准备
one. Dissolve and cue.
1 切换 台词提示
Tomorrow on the show, Colleen will make the British classic bangers
明天的节目中 柯琳将亲自享用《地狱厨房♥》…
and mash, with chef Gordon Ramsay.
厨师戈登的硕大香肠
That’s right, I will,
没错 我不得不做这节目
because you refuse to do it, Mike. Guess it’s beneath you.
因为你把什么都推给我 超越你的底线了吧
Well, that and it’s tough to get between you and a sausage, so…
你对香肠那么饥渴 我一个男人怎么会吃醋
Sausage, that’s a good one.
香肠 说得好啊
Yes, and also you are a fatuous, pretentious idiot,
你就是一个自命不凡的蠢蛋
so there’s that. A fatuous idiot who makes
大伙不了解他吧 我这个白♥痴♥开的工资…
three times what you make. That’s our show for this morning.
可是你的三倍 今天的节目就到这里
See you tomorrow, folks. Goodbye.
观众们明天见
Goodbye. Goodbye.
再见 再见
Goodbye. And goodbye.
再见 … 再见
Goodbye. Bye.
再见 再见
Yeah, no, no, no. Bye.
稍等 再见
Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye.
再见 再见 再见了
This is yesterday,
这是昨天的收视率
after she insulted his tie. Right.
她讽刺了他的领带之后 确实涨了
After he asked her if she cries ice cubes. Huge spike.
这是他讽刺她哭起来干打雷不下雨 收视率也大涨
They love it!
观众们喜欢!
We’re so close. I mean, we need this. We’re, we’re, we’re almost there.
很接近了 我是说 咱们需要这么干 就要成了
Coming up in our next hour, we’ll be talking to people who successfully
下面一小时的节目里 我们谈谈成功的戒除计划
completed this innovative rehab program.
这已经帮助了许多人
Might want to pick up a few tips there, Mike.
你也该参加一下了 麦克
Do they have rehab programs for bitter beauty queens with self-esteem issues?
有没有针对自卑的选美冠军 的治疗计划?
I wonder about that sometimes.
我有时候也想这个问题
Sometimes. Well, coming up next…
一边想去吧 下面是…
But they are way better. They’re way up from last year.
可他们广受好评 比去年收视率高得多
I’m, I’m almost there.
我就要达到目标了
So many people rely on this show. They believe in it.
大伙齐心协力 确实对节目有信心
You have until Friday. That’s the deal we made.
别忘了 周五就是截止日期
And those are still not good enough.
距离我们的约定还差点
so no real flooding to speak of in the neighborhoods. But the concern is,
虽然这儿没有爆发洪水
they are prepared…
不过好处是
to help folks if necessary, Kitty. What?
他们已经准备好互相帮助了 怎么?
Well, the center of lowa’s second biggest city,
爱荷华州第二大城市 锡达拉皮兹
Cedar Rapids, is already underwater.
市中心已经被淹没
Sorry.
抱歉
I mean, our demos are getting better.
我们的样本带子越来越好了
But our overall numbers, they’re just not where they should be.
可我们的努力不应该只有这点收视率
We’re just missing… something.
我肯定忽略了什么重要因素
Well, maybe it’s time for another eight-part series on the orgasm.
那你继续做8期有关性高♥潮♥的节目吧
Do you think so? I mean,
真的? 我是说…
I don’t know what else we would possibly talk about.
想不出什么好题材了
You’re making fun of me. No.
你开我玩笑吧 没有啊
Never mind.
算了
Just… doesn’t matter.
算了
I’ll just deal with it in the morning.
我早上会想出来的
You look at me like there’s something wrong with me all the time.
你老是一副盯着病号♥的表情
And I can’t, I can’t do it. What?
我受不了了 怎么了?
That is the most ridiculous statement you have ever made.
你这是下过的最愚蠢的判断
I can’t let my guard down for one second, you know.
我现在一刻也不能放松
I don’t look at my BlackBerry and I miss getting the next big story.
和你在一起不看手♥机♥ 就可能错过新闻事件
And I’m tired of feeling guilty about my work. I can’t.
我老是觉得还不够努力 和你在一起是种煎熬
Becky, wait a second.
贝琪 你等等
Yeah. OK. Look, that information’s a matter of public record.
你瞧 我有特权查看公共档案的
I have a right to see it. You know that.
这你应该明白
You want me to come on down there and I’ll bring a crew?
你要我到那里报道 带上节目组?
Better yet, a subpoena.
最好还配上法庭传票
OK, and I think we should end the segment
我觉得为了庆祝波士顿茶叶党…
with Ernie being tarred and feathered in honor of the anniversary
厄尼要被涂上焦油插羽毛…
of the Boston Tea Party.
还是太过了
Or I could do my good story on weathervanes.
我也可以做风向标的节目
No!
不行!
OK, so great job, everyone.
大家干得很不错
Excuse me, excuse me. Just one, one moment, please.
大伙稍等一下 占用一分钟
I have a story I’d like to do.
我有个新闻线索可以做节目
Sauerkraut.
德国泡菜
Sauerkraut?
德国泡菜?
Big annual Sauerkraut Festival upstate.
每年北边都有泡菜节庆祝活动
They bowl with cabbage,
拿卷心菜当保龄球
make a big sauerkraut cake.
做个大的泡菜蛋糕什么的
They… have a competition for the best sauerkraut.
还要选出最好的泡菜
You want to do that?
你想做这节目吗?
What? Do you have a problem with that?
怎么? 你还嫌太高雅吗
No.
没意见