早间主播（2010）

It’s bad enough I have to do these ridiculous stories.
无聊新闻已经让我受够了
You know what, buddy? Guess what? Last week,
你还有脸抱怨? 上个星期
I had to use the words “rectal” and “moisture” in the same sentence.
我要在一个句子里用”直肠”和”潮湿”两个词
Well, first dates can be awkward. Mike!
是啊 第一次就口味不轻啊 麦克!
Becky… That’s it!
贝琪… 我受够了
Becky, Becky, what are you doin’? I’ve had enough!
贝琪 你要干嘛 我受够了
Mike? I need to talk to you.
麦克 我要和你聊聊
Becky, we’re back in 60. I’m sorry,
贝琪 60秒后就直播了 抱歉
this’ll just take a second.
我就占用一会儿
I’ve looked up to you all my life.
我这辈子一直很仰慕你
You know that? I actually idolized you.
以前甚至把你当神一样看待
My dad and I used to watch you on TV.
我和我爸追着看你的节目
So just, you know, imagine my surprise when it turns out…
所以 你也能想象的到
that you’re actually the worst person in the entire world.
看到你是世界上人品最烂的人有多失望
Not the third worst! The worst! What’s goin’ on?
不是世界上第三烂的 是最烂的 怎么回事?
Pomeroy. He broke the latest Daybreak EP.
麦克 把新总编导弄崩溃了
how lucky we all are to have these jobs,
我们有这样的机会已经很知足了
how quickly that can be taken away. We’re back in…
现在还要担心走人 马上直播…
And there’s this guy, this really kind of great, smokin’ guy
我本来有个人品好的大帅哥陪着我
who can actually stand me long enough to have sex with me.
上♥床♥之前还要忍♥受我工作的抱怨
And you know what? It’s all just a big mess. Because of you!
这工作一团糟都是你搅的!
You know, nobody can do their jobs well around here
大伙的日子都不好过
because you can’t be bothered to do yours at all!
就因为你不屑于做好你的工作!
And we’re back.
直播开始
Welcome back to Daybreak. And now, with a check of the weather,
欢迎来到《早间新闻》 接下来是天气情况
here’s Ernie. Take Ernie on the plaza.
厄尼请讲 镜头切给广场上的厄尼
Thanks, Colleen. Surprisingly toasty day out here, isn’t it, folks?
谢谢柯琳 今天还真是热得冒烟啊
Yeah!
是啊
Good day to break out the bikini. I know I’m wearing mine right now.
是时候穿比基尼泳装了 我可是里面藏着呢
All right. Well, what do we have here?
大伙这是说什么呢
Goodness, honey. I did not put her up to this.
宝贝 这些人可不是我的托儿
Coke? Diet Coke? No, I don’t want a Diet Coke.
可乐? 不 我不要可乐
Step aside!
闪一边去
Jerry, I would like to talk to you. You’re gonna bust a cap in my ass?
杰瑞 我要和你谈谈 拍马屁可不管用
What if I get the ratings up? We’ve got six weeks.
要是我能提高收视率呢? 还有六周的时间
What if I move that needle just enough?
要是我能满足公♥司♥的要求呢
You won’t. We’II, you’re… you don’t know that.
不可能 没试你怎么知道
Becky. There’s got to be some number
贝琪 你给我定个标准
I can hit that will give us a shot, that would give us an extra six months,
如果达到了 你就能给我们再争取6个月
something. Sure, if you got over one point five
说个数 当然可以 你能超过1.5%的收视率
or something absurd like that… Done! So I’ve got your word?
或者更牛也行 说定了 你别反悔
I get those ratings up more than three quarters of a point,
要是收视率提高到1.75%
you give me more time? It won’t happen.
你能给我更多时间吗 别做梦了
We’ll see about that.
咱们走着瞧
And your girlfriend Lisa?
还有你的女友丽萨
Can you get her a dictionary and stick her on somebody else’s show?
能不能让她学好英语后塞给别的节目组?
‘Cause she’s killing me.
她可要给我逼疯了
Wow, well, look who the wind blew in! What happened to you?
好么 雷厉风行的编导啊 你这是怎么了
Well, we’re gonna change a few things.
我们得脱胎换骨了
OK. Is Ernie in place?
那好 厄尼在外景吧?
Yes, he is. He’ll be interviewing people as they come off the coaster.
是的 他要采访坐过山车的人们
No, he won’t. Not anymore, he’s not. We’re gonna put him on that coaster.
不行 他也要坐过山车 亲自坐
We’re gonna strap a handheld to the car in front of him and then go live. Boom.
在他前面绑上手提摄相机 直播 就这么着!
It’s called “picking up the game,” people. OK? So from now on,
这部分就叫”未知冒险” 从今以后…
every single story that we do, it’s gonna have to be sensational!
所有的新闻必须能引起轰动!
We’re gonna be more aggressive. We’re gonna work harder.
要主动出击 全力工作
And we’re gonna do it right now.
从现在开始
Are, are you gonna? I’m not gonna sing!
你是不是要 我才不会唱歌♥伴舞!
Why do people ask me that?
怎么老有人这么问
So the big question is, are we gonna be able to hear his mic?
不过问题是 能采到他的声音吗
Yes, we will. If he has a heart attack,
可以 要是他犯心脏病了
we’ll be able to capture every heartrending scream.
还能录上他临终的嘶喊
Really? Great. Cue her.
准备好了? 给她台词提示
Thrill-seekers have something to look forward to this summer
冒险爱好者们今年夏天有福了
as Six Flags unveils a brand-new roller coaster.
六旗冒险乐园揭幕了全新设计的过山车
The “Manhandler” is the fastest coaster in the U.S.
它叫”暴♥力♥过山” 是全国最快的过山车
With speeds up to 130 miles an hour… Stand Ernie by. Here we go.
最高速度可达每小时200公里 厄尼准备好 开始了
ninety-five degrees. Our own Ernie Appleby is getting a sneak peek
95度的斜角 记者厄尼 为您带来激♥情♥体验
at this amazing new ride, isn’t that right, Ernie?
第一手的过山车感受 是吧?
Standing by. Open his mic. Ernie, can you hear us?
准备 接入他的声音 厄尼 你能听到我们的话吗
Yes. Yes, I can. And so far, it’s a beautiful ride.
能听到 看起来一路的景色会很不错
Quite an amazing view from up here.
现在的风景赏心悦目呀
Mostly blue skies. Cumulus clouds on the horizon,
天这么蓝 地平线上的积雨云
always a good sign this time of year.
预示着今年有个好兆头
Might be heading into our first dip.
要到第一个俯冲了
Oh, my. Oh, my.
我的… 天
Oh, fu…
我… 操…
No!
不要啊…
Oh, yeah. No, this is a great idea.
主意不错 观众们爽了
Please, make it stop! Take two.
快停下! 切换2号♥画面
What are you gonna do to him next? Strap electrodes to his balls?
以后还想怎么整他? 电击他的裤裆?
I actually felt sorry for that animatronic puppet asshole.
我都同情这混♥蛋♥小丑了
Hey, look, we got 80,000 hits on YouTube already.
你瞧 我们在Youtube视频网上 获得了8万的点击量
And Ernie is absolutely thrilled. And by the way,
厄尼自己也玩得很爽 而且…
we had another bump in the minute-to-minutes.
每分钟的收视率都在增加
Becky, good stuff. Thank you! Lighten up, Mike.
贝琪 好创意 谢谢!别抗拒了 麦克
You know what I’ve noticed? People only say, “Lighten up”
一般说”别抗拒了”的场合 都是…
when they’re gonna stick their fist up your ass.
有人要虐待你到屁滚尿流的时候才说
Well, you know what? I hate to break it to you,
我说的还不够明白吗
but the fact is… Oh, my God, amazing segment.
实际上… 老天 好节目啊
Thank you. The world has been debating news versus entertainment for years
谢谢 人们争论新闻的严肃性和娱乐性很久了
and guess what? Mike, your side lost.
最后呢? 麦克 你这边输了
You know what? What?
别自己为是 是么
You’re wrong. People are smart.
你错了 观众有脑子
They want information. Not junk, which is all you’re willing to give them.
他们需要信息 不是垃圾 你就在给他们垃圾
Junk. Sugar, sugar, sugar. Excuse me.
垃圾 糖份 糖分 抱歉
OK. And more sugar.
好吧 更多糖份
Yeah, well, what would you have them do, Mike?
那你给他们吃什么?
Eat bran all day? Fiber, fiber, fiber?
天天吃糠咽菜? 纤维 纤维?
We have to get the ratings up, Mike,
收视率提高了才是王道
or we can have a lot of high-minded ideas and not be on the air.
播报严肃新闻就等着节目被砍吧
This show may go down, but it’s not because I’m not trying my hardest.
前景不乐观 可我不想因为没尽全力而后悔
You hear me? I don’t care what you do, but I’m not giving up.
听明白了? 我不管你怎样 我是决不放弃
I wanna talk to you. I wanna talk to you right now about Ernie.
我要和你谈谈 有关厄尼的事儿
Oh, my God, you, too? Yes.
啊? 你也来? 是啊
Why is everyone worried about Ernie? You know, he’s a grown man.
怎么都这么担心他? 他可是成年人了
Worried about Ernie? You kidding me? He signed release forms.
操心厄尼? 别开玩笑了 他都签放弃索赔声明了
He’s a hack. Look, I see what you’re doing.
他可是专业玩家 我很欣赏你的创意
I think it’s great. It’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for,
我也觉得挺好玩的 一直期待有这种节目
so just, you know, sign me up, coach. Put me in.
你这教练也拉我进来吧
Whatever you want to call it. Really?
我随时听候调遣 真的?
Yeah.
是啊
Do you have any preexisting conditions?
有没有什么身体疾病不方便啊?
Are you kidding? Look at me. I’m a rock.
别逗你姐了 看我多年轻
Would you like to hold him?
想抱抱他么?
I would love to hold it, dear little thing.
想啊 这么可爱的小东西
Watch it. Careful he doesn’t go in there.
小心点 千万别让他钻进去
Can you get it out though?
快点帮帮我
Mike wanted to be here for this. Mike Pomeroy.
其实麦克也想来的
You know how he is. He loves animals.
他也很喜欢动物
Have you just… You… And then…
你该不会… 然后… 臭鼬放屁了
Those are frog lips. Does a frog open its lips ever?
青蛙有嘴唇啊 它会张嘴吗?
Ready four, take four. Ready one. Take one.
4号♥画面准备 切换 1号♥准备 切换
Ready one. Take it.
1号♥准备 切换
I would never do that. Kiss it.
我也就开个玩笑 亲它
How about a big kiss, sucker?
小呆瓜 给你个吻怎么样
That’s a little, that’s wrong.
是不是有点… 太新潮了啊
That was so good. Do it again.
太好玩了 再亲一下
Fitty, Fitty! Mr. Cent? Hi! Fan.
您是50美分先生? 我是您的粉丝
Big fan! Take you to the candy shop
狂热粉丝!”带你去糖果店… ”