怪怪家庭（2012）

我们各有各的行头
We all have our uniforms.
为了帮我定位
It gives me structure.
这是男孩子一生当中的敏感时期
This can be a traumatic time in a boy’s life.
他需要定位
He needs structure.
我是不是哪里不对头
Is there something wrong with me?
我最最不想听到的
That is exactly the kind of shame
就是你说这种自惭的话
I do not want coming out of your mouth.
这个家里唯一应自惭的是玛丽莲
The only one in this family who should feel shame is Marilyn.
可是你应对得宜 如此美丽
But you carry it so beautifully.
你的一根毫毛我都不想改变
Well, I wouldn’t change a hair on your body,
无论这根毛长在哪里
no matter where they may grow.
一定要谈这个话题吗
Are we having that conversation?
青春期我都懂
I know all about puberty.
瞧 他都懂青春期
You see, he knows all about puberty.
我只是不想谈我身体正在发生的变化
I just don’t want to talk about the changes my body is going through.
我们以后再谈
We will talk about that later.
“我们”以后再谈
WE will talk about that later.
“我们”以后再谈
WE will talk about it later.
你们说什么呢
What are we talking about now?
你们到底在说什么
What are we talking about now?
你现在只需要知道
All you need to know now is
明天的你和今天的你
you’re not always gonna be the same person tomorrow
可能会不一样
that you were today.
但我们永远是你的家人
But we will always be your family.
永远都是
Always.
校车来了
That’s my bus.
艾迪
Eddie!
艾迪 你没说再见
Eddie. You didn’t say good-bye.
走了就是说再见
Walking away is a form of good-bye.
喂
Hey.
我知道你在骗我
I know you’re lying to me.
我不清楚是什么事 但是你在骗我
I don’t know about what, but you’re lying.
♪ 我想我需要一颗新心脏 ♪
♪ So I think I need a new heart. ♪
♪ 我想我需要一颗新心脏 ♪
♪ I think I need a new heart. ♪
♪ 我想我需要一颗新心脏 ♪
♪ I think I need a new heart. ♪
好了
Ready!
我们发现你倒在院子里
We found you in the yard.
一群浣熊正对你为所欲为
Raccoons were having their way with you.
看来是你的心碎了
It seems you broke your heart.
如此多愁善感 真是丢人
Shame on you for being so sentimental.
它是我的心 多愁善感是理所当然
It’s my heart. It’s sentimental by definition.
没用了 -喂喂
Ruined. – Hey, hey, hey.
那是我最后的原装组件 装回去
That’s my last original part. Put that back in.
把这玩意拿出来
Take this thing out.
这玩意是鬼才神作
This thing is a piece of genius.
把我的心装回去 先洗干净
Put my heart back in, and clean it first.
拜托了
Please.
装着这东西感觉不像我
This doesn’t feel like me.
你这人太恋旧
You’re too attached to how things were.
但现狼人的旧问题又来了
Only “were” is now “were-wolf”.
艾迪知道我在骗他
Eddie knows I’m lying to him.
他能嗅出欺骗的味道
He can smell your deceit.
你没抚养过狼人 我养过
You’ve never raised a werewolf. I have.
有哪一个成材的吗
Have you raised one successfully?
我儿子莱斯利生下来浑身是毛
My son Leslie was born covered in hair.
我就知道怎样抚养他
I knew exactly how to raise him.
你雇保姆来照顾他
You hired nannies to raise him,
然后让他把保姆一个个吃掉
and then you let him eat the nannies.
这就是我雇保姆的目的
That’s what they were hired for.
我知道怎样抚养艾迪
I know exactly how to raise Eddie.
在我造就你之前 你并不是明斯特家的人
You were never a Munster until I made you a Munster.
而艾迪生来就是
Eddie was born one.
对于这一点 身为家长的你
There’s nothing you ever have done or can do
永远都无法改变
as a parent that will change that.
准备好了吗 打喷嚏
You ready? Sneeze.
[西方迷信认为打喷嚏时心脏会停跳]
好了
There we go.
告诉艾迪没有什么熊宝宝
Tell Eddie there is no baby bear.
跟你的心脏说再见
And say good-bye to your heart,
等它完蛋了 这是迟早的事
’cause when it goes… and it will go…
哪怕是国王的千军万马
all the king’s horses and all the king’s men
[童谣中摔碎的蛋形矮胖子]
也拼不回鸡蛋先生
will never put Humpty together again.
我喜欢从前那样
I preferred it when the village
远离村庄 门前还有护城河
was further away and we had a moat.
礼貌与亲和力是最好的护城河
The best moats are made of good manners and filled with congeniality.
那我去烤点饼干
Then I shall make cookies.
饼干
Cookies?
你好 我是玛丽莲
Hello, my name is Marilyn.
你好 -这是我爷爷 爷爷
Hello. – This is my grandpa, Grandpa.
你好 -叫我D就好
Hello. – You must call me “D.”
我们刚搬到街对面
We just moved in across the street.
我知道 流浪汉杀手凶宅
Yes, I know. The hobo murder house.
请原谅我不接受你们的任何食物
Pardon me if I don’t take any food from you
也不会请你们进屋
or invite you into my home.
谁来了 – 流浪汉杀手凶宅
Who is it? – Hobo murder house!
别这样
Stop.
欢迎成为我们的邻居
Welcome to the neighborhood.
我是蒂姆 我妻子玛丽
I’m Tim. My wife, Marie.
吃饼干吗
Cookie?
血一样香醇 是吧
They’re bloody good, aren’t they?
真是美味的饼干
That is some cookie.
蒂莫西
Timothy, uh…
“我们”刚搬来
We just moved in?
你刚才说”我们”刚搬来
You just said WE just moved in.
难道你打算留下
Were you planning on staying?
我希望能留下
I was hoping on staying.
难道你不打算让我留下
Were you planning on me not staying?
没错 当然我会想你的
Yes. I was going to miss you, of course.
但你离开的话我也会很高兴
But I was also going to be quite pleased you weren’t here.
你会想我 我很感动
I’m touched that you’d miss me.
玛丽莲 我喜欢你
Marilyn, I adore you.
是我劝说你母亲不要吃掉你
I was the one that talked your mother out of eating you.
但是你不能留下来 -为什么
But you cannot stay. – Why not?
你不是在什么地方读大学吗
Aren’t you enrolled in higher education somewhere?
我把学分转过来了
I transferred my class credits.
去住校
Campus accommodation.
是社区大学
It’s a community college.
玛丽莲 你没听到我的话吗
Marilyn! You’re not hearing me.
我要开始吸血了
I’m going to start drinking again.
现在艾迪有了家族特征
Now that Eddie is in the family way,
我认为我不吸血会给他造成误解
I think me not drinking would just give out the wrong message.
比如吸血是不对的
Like drinking is bad?
说实话 你母亲先是想要孩子
Honestly, your mother wanting a baby
然后又想吃掉这个孩子
and then wanting to eat that baby
实在令人难堪
was just embarrassing.
我真的不想每次开怀畅饮之前
I’d rather not have all that rummaging through my head
都回想起这段经历
when I’m trying to have a drink.
蒂莫西
Timothy!
你的房♥子像座宫殿 你的妻子很…有趣
Your house is a palace. Your wife is… interesting.
你们想进来吗
Would you like to come in?
你可以自愿把这句话
Can you, of your own free will,
重述成陈述句吗
rephrase that as a statement?
请进 -也好
Please come in? – Don’t mind if I do.
欢迎来到我可爱的家
Welcome to my lovely home.
绿色 我喜欢绿色
Green. I love green.
知道我最爱野生探险什么吗
You know what I love about being a Wildlife Explorer?
一切 但首先是这身制♥服♥
Everything. But it starts with the uniform.
制♥服♥就是我们的超级英雄装
The explorer uniform is our superhero costume.
领巾就是魔力斗篷
This neckerchief is a cape.
这些勋章就是经验与冒险的证明
Those patches are the armor of experience and adventure.