That’s it.
够了
Excuse me.
不好意思
I am in the middle of a REM cycle over here.
我正在睡觉耶
Not happening.
不会吧
Now?
现在?
I haven’t slept in two days!
我两天没睡了
I’ll give you a cookie.
我再给你一片饼干
It better be a big one.
最好够大
You don’t walk, you float.
不是走路,而是轻移
Gently descending, you don’t look down.
轻盈地走下来,别低头看
Go back up and do it again. Never, ever look down, okay?
再回去重走一遍,千万别低头
Thighs touching…
大腿合拢
Touching, not clenching.
合拢,不是夹紧
I’m touching.
我是合拢啊
There’s a gap between knees and calves…
膝盖和小腿间要有空隙
…your calves and your ankles.
小腿和脚踝之间也一样
Right now there’s a huge gap between my brain and my spinal cord.
我的大脑和脊椎 也有很大的空隙
Here. Take these.
拿去
What, no armored car?
没有装甲车吗?
That would be in my other dress.
另一套衣服才有
What are you planning to do for your talent?
你打算表演什么才艺?
Sing? Dance?
唱歌♥?跳舞?
Chew with your mouth closed?
闭着嘴巴嚼食物?
I’ll do whatever you want, Yoda.
你要我表演什么都行
Oh, Lord.
天哪
Agent Matthews!
麦修探员
This woman has no talent!
这个女人没才艺
Don’t shout it in front of her.
别在她面前大声说嘛
I wasn’t told to provide a talent.
没人说要做才艺表演
I can’t do so in the next five hours!
也无法在五小时内准备好
Wait a minute.
等一下
What are you talking about?
你在胡说什么?
She’ll be on-stage with nothing to do…
我说她明天就要在台上发呆
…but convert oxygen into carbon dioxide!
表演把氧气吸入 吐出二氧化碳
You said you couldn’t make her pretty in two days…
你说过两天内没办法让她变美
…but she’s gorgeous.
但她现在美极了
Compared to the car wreck she was before.
那是和她以前的邋遢相比较
My duties are stated in a contract…
我的职责都详述在合约上
…and I have fulfilled them.
我也都履行了
You talent her up by tomorrow or…
快想个才艺表演,否则…
Are you threatening me?
你在威胁我吗?
Listen to me, you old fruitcake!
听我说,你这个同性恋…
How dare you, you cupcake!
你敢这样说我?烂人!
There’s something I know how to do.
暂停!我会一项才艺表演
I haven’t done it since high school…
高中毕业以后就没做过
…like ride bike.
就和骑脚踏车一样
You’re not having sex on this stage.
不准在台上表演性♥交♥
I didn’t know it was an option.
我不知道还能表演这个
This thing, I just have to call room service.
为了表演,我要叫客房♥服务
Miss Hart.
哈特小姐
Please.
麻烦你
Thank you. And the other one.
谢谢你,还有另外一个
Thank you.
谢谢你
All right, all right, all right.
好啦…
Happy, you doughnut Nazi?
满意了吧 甜甜圈纳粹党员?
Did I tell you Stan Fields was getting fired?
你知不知道史丹费尔兹 被解聘了
I’m on it.
交给我来办
You just concentrate on being Gracie Lou, all right.
你只管当你的桂丝露
And by the way, you’re doing a great job.
对了,你表现得很好
I thought the evening gown looked…
我觉得你穿晚礼服…
I totally bought it.
很有说服力
I know, you think I’m gorgeous.
我知道,你觉得我很美
What? I don’t think you’re gorgeous.
什么?我才不觉得你很美
You think I’m gorgeous.
你觉得我很美
You want to kiss me.
你想吻我
You want to hug me…
你想抱我
McDonald’s more feminine.
麦唐诺比你有女人味
I’d rather kiss him.
我宁可吻他
You want love me.
你想爱我
You want to hug me.
你想抱我
You want to smooch me.
你想吻我
You want…
你想…
Enjoy the rest of your night.
去睡一下吧
Gracie, you look so tired.
桂丝,你好像很累
Yeah.
是啊
Oh, she had a busy night.
她昨晚可忙了
I saw that gentleman stop by the room.
我看到那个男人进房♥间
Gentleman?
男人?
No men in the room.
饭店房♥间是男宾止步耶
It’s different on the mainland.
本土的规矩不同,夏威夷姑娘
Hold on, ladies. Let’s hear her side of the story.
等一下,各位 先听听她怎么说
You sleeping with a judge?
你是和评审上♥床♥吗?
Oh, that guy? No.
那个男人吗?
No, no, I was dating him for a little while because…
不,不是 我和他交往过一阵子
…he said he had an incurable disease.
因为他说他得了绝症
I didn’t realize it was stupidity.
原来他所谓的绝症就是愚蠢
Oh, I know what that’s like.
我知道那种感觉
All right.
好吧
He is such a pathetic loser.
他是个可悲的窝囊废
I’m sorry he’s obsessed with me…
很遗憾他这么迷恋我
…but at some point it’s like, “Hello!”
但他总得面对现实
“Move on! Get over yourself!”
别再来烦我,去找别人吧
His ego is this big.
他的自尊这么大
But his equipment is like this big!
但那话儿就这么点大
Good cover!
好藉口
We worked that out together.
我们俩一起想出来的
Use it for a needle.
像根针似的
Back to work. Get ready for the Alamo.
干活吧,准备监控选美现场
Thank you. Thank you.
谢谢,谢谢大家
And welcome to the Miss United States Preliminary…
欢迎到美丽的历史古迹阿♥拉♥摩
…here at the beautiful and historical Alamo!
参与美国小姐初选盛会
Prepare for what promises to be…
准备欣赏好看的…
…a day of astounding musical, theatrical and dancing talent.
歌♥舞和戏剧才艺表演吧
And after I’m finished, you can see the ladies.
等我说完 参赛者就要陆续出场
Oh, yes!
是的!
And now, put it together…
请以热烈的掌声
…for Miss Mary Jo Wright from Texas!
欢迎德州小姐玛丽乔莱特
You light up my life
你照亮我的生命
What’s her talent, bartending?
她要表演什么才艺? 当酒保吗?
I made it very clear you weren’t responsible for making her credible.
显然你没达成改造她的使命
I wish I could explain…
我很想解释
…but there are no words.
但我无言以对
Eagle-Eye.
鹰眼…
You might want to check out cowboy at 1:00.
注意一点钟方向的那个牛仔
My 1:00 or your 1:00?
我的一点钟方向?还是你的?
The one under the white Stetson.
戴白色牛仔帽那个人
There’s Stetsons everywhere.
白色牛仔帽?到处都是牛仔帽
He’s moving, he’s moving.
他在走动了
Toward the stage.
他正走向舞台
Hold on, we’re checking it out.
等一下,我们去查看
Guys.
谢谢
Guys, he has a gun. He has a gun.
他身上有枪,他身上有枪
Who’s got the 20 on the shooter?
谁看到那个人了?
I’m taking him out.
我来制伏他
Wait for a visual!
先确认状况再行动
Gun! Gun! Everybody down!
有枪!有枪!大家趴下!
Better up to them…
在此之前都还不错
…don’t you think?
你不觉得吗?
In a bizarre incident at the Miss United States Preliminaries…
今天美国小姐初选会出了怪事
…the contestant from New Jersey leapt off-stage…
纽泽西小姐从台上纵身而下