米兰达：我的欢乐庆典（2020）

♪ I’ll be your friend ♪
♪我会陪你度过♪
♪ I’ll help you carry on ♪
♪那不会太久♪
♪ For it won’t be long ♪
♪直到我也需要♪
♪ Till I’m gonna need ♪
♪一个肩膀去依靠♪
♪ Somebody to lean on ♪
♪所以兄弟 当你需要时♪
♪ So just call on me, brother ♪
♪请来找我♪
♪ When you need a hand ♪
♪我们都需要个肩膀去依靠♪
♪ We all need somebody to lean on ♪
♪你能懂我的痛苦♪
♪ I just might have a problem that you’ll understand ♪
♪我们都需要个肩膀去依靠♪
♪ We all need somebody to lean on ♪
♪靠在我肩上♪
♪ Lean on me ♪
♪在你脆弱的时候♪
♪ When you’re not strong ♪
♪我就是你的朋友♪
♪ I’ll be your friend ♪
♪我会帮你度过♪
♪ I’ll help you carry on ♪
♪很快就会过去 很快过去♪
♪ For it won’t be long It won’t be long ♪
♪直到我也需要♪
♪ Till I’m gonna need ♪
♪一个肩膀去依靠♪
♪ Somebody to lean ♪
♪去依靠♪
♪ Lean on. ♪
你知道的 有太多有趣的事了
Oh! Do you know, it’s all too much fun.
我们真是太逗了
We’re having a lot o’ fun.
我觉得 你要说的是
I mean, you could almost say we’re having…
别说出来 别说
Don’t say it, don’t say it.
这是米兰达的周♥年♥庆♥祝
Well, it’s a Miranda celebration –
我觉得这个国家需要
I think the nation needs…
太逗了
Such fun!
BGM: Fun Fun Fun by The Beach Boys
这位就是我称之为派翠西亚·霍吉的女人
It’s the woman I call Patricia Hodge!
来 来坐
Come in, come in.
来了
Come through.
派翠西亚·霍吉
Patricia Hodge.
也是我的「二妈」
Or Mum II, as I call her.
首先 非常感谢你扮演我的母亲
Thank you, first off, for being game to be my mum.
-不客气 -你接了一部非常疯狂的剧
– Absolutely. – You jumped into our crazy world.
天哪 你来找我的时候 我错以为
Oh, Gosh. I was under the illusion you asked me to do it
你已经知道我私下其实是个不太正经的人
because you knew I was completely bonkers underneath anyway.
才不是 我之前根本不知道你是什么样的
No, you see, I didn’t know what you were like at all.
我在写剧本的时候就在想
So when I was writing it, I was thinking
「我不知道能不能写出佩妮的古怪疯狂」
“I don’t know how eccentric and silly I can make Penny,”
因为当时你是派翠西亚·霍吉
because we didn’t know you were… you were Patricia.
你现在依然也是派翠西亚·霍吉
You still are Patricia Hodge!
派翠西亚的第一场戏是
And the first scene that Patricia had to do
你在一家婚纱店外昏倒了
was when you fainted outside a wedding dress shop
-因为你看到我在店里穿着婚纱 -对
– when you saw me in a wedding dress. – Yeah.
我们当时觉得「可不能让派翠西亚·霍吉
And we were thinking, “We can’t ask Patricia Hodge
倒在豪恩斯洛的大马路上」
“to lie on the pavement in Hounslow!”
没错 她太优雅了
No, she’s far too posh.
所以我们疯狂洗刷那个马路
So we were all scrubbing the pavement…
但派翠西亚演的时候就说「我得昏倒」
But Patricia just turned up and said, “I have to faint,”
然后直接倒下了
and down she went.
BGM: Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison
我的样子根本和雪纺绸完全不对盘
I look like I’ve had a chiffon-based anaphylactic shock.
加里 回来
Gary! Come back!
我们片场特别搞笑
We had some fun on the studio floor.
-对 一些搞笑的花絮 -独家爆料
– Yes, some unscripted fun. – Showbiz exclusive –
第一个笑场的 就是她
if anyone was going to laugh first, this one.
真的太难忘了
One that was fairly unforgettable –
有一集我记得是我生病在床
when, I think it was the episode where I was ill in bed,
但实际是找借口对你发脾气
but it was an excuse to throw a lot of aggravation at you.
控诉你出生时给我造成了极大的创伤
Not the least, the trauma that you gave me being born.
-对 那段台词 -我正准备说台词
– Oh, yes. That line. – I was about to say the line,
我看着米兰达 而她正盯着我的额头
looked at Miranda, and she was busy looking at my forehead
为了不让自己笑场 我就没忍♥住
in order not to laugh. Well, that was it.
我们有一段最终版的片段
Well, we’ve got a clip of what it ended up being.
我会让你知道 我有权使唤你
I’ll have you know, I have the right to be demanding.
老娘从「那里」把十磅重的你生出来的那一刻
I earned that right the minute I pushed
就拥有了这个权利
a 10lb you through my clacker.
真抱歉 让你说这种台词
The things I made you say. I’m so sorry.
你现在知道了 是不是更理解我了
Now you understand, are you on my side?
是这样的 我记得是拍了三次 霍吉女士
This is what happened. I believe it took three takes, Miss Hodge.
把十磅重的你…
…pushed a 10lb you through my cl…
第一次
第二次
生出来的那一刻
..You through my clacker.
第三次
从「那里」把十磅重的你生出…
..Pushed a 10lb you through my cla…
太怀念了
Oh, happy days.
二妈 我必须得说
Well, Mum II, you are my shero
你是教会我优雅与成熟的榜样
in terms of elegance and sophistication, I have to say,
尽管你也很幽默
despite also being well up for a laugh.
你有过像「米兰达」里的尴尬时刻吗
Do you ever have any Miranda moments?
比如说 你有没有
Do you, for example, I don’t know,
有没有对皇室成员说过什么傻话
have you ever spray-talked a sausage roll on to a royal?
没有
No.
你有没有放过屁 我感觉对派翠西亚
Have either of you ever farted…? I don’t feel it’s right
-说放屁不太好 -别对派翠西亚说放屁
– to say farted to Patricia. – Don’t say farted to Patricia. No.
-释放气体 -好多了
– Broken breeze. – Better.
你们有没有在按♥摩♥的时候释放过气体
Have you ever broken breeze during a massage?
-没有 -或者在瑜伽课上
– No. – Or a yoga class?
-没有 -没有
– No. – No.
或者 我会继续问下去的
Or…you might know where I’m going with this,
因为这是我们都喜欢的一集
because I know it’s one of our mutually favourite episodes.
你们有没有在看整骨医生的时候释放过气体
Have you ever broken breeze in an osteopath appointment?
不会只有我吧
Don’t tell me I’m the only one.
你好啊
Hello?
会不会有点太亲密了
Intimate, isn’t it?
之后我们得订婚了 先生
We’ll have to become engaged after this, sir.
假发 假发
Wig. Wig!
最后再拉伸一下 好吧
So just one final stretch, OK?
你真的经历过这种事吗
Has that actually ever happened to you?
真的
Yes!
这是极少数真实发生过的事情
Yes, it’s one of very few things that happened in reality
被写进了剧本
that made it into the sitcom.
派翠西亚 我不是唯一一个
Patricia, you’ll be pleased to hear that I’m not the only one
经历过「米兰达」尴尬时刻的人
who might have the odd Miranda moment.
-太好了 -事情是这样的 霍吉 哈德兰
– Oh, good. – Here’s the thing, Hodge, Hudders. Yeah.
我在社交媒体上收集了网友的
I’ve had a lot of fun on social media
「米兰达时刻」 有很多搞笑的故事
asking people for their MirandaMoments.
我发现 在现实生活中居然真的有这么多
It turns out there are a worrying amount of peculiar
令人捧腹大笑的「灾难时刻」
but hilarious daily mishaps going on in the world,
我深感欣慰
which I find rather consoling.
我给你们念几条我最喜欢的
So I’m just going to share with you some of my favourites.
-准备好了吗 好 -嗯
– Are you ready? OK. – Yeah.
一位叫戴的网友说
Di, she says,
在一辆拥挤的列车上 突然很想打喷嚏
“On a packed commuter train and needed to sneeze.
我来不及用手捂嘴
“Couldn’t move my hand quick enough
因为实在是太挤了
“As I was trapped by fellow commuters.
只能转过脸去打 结果撞上一个人
“Turned away to sneeze, only to get some poor man
他刚好转过来对着我打哈欠
“Who’d turned towards me to yawn…”
我喷嚏直接打进他嘴里
“..I sneezed into his open mouth.”
我无法接受
I can’t cope with that.
真的无法接受 简直是灾难
I can’t cope with that. That’s horrendous.
底下有的评论是
In the audience, some people went,
「呕」 有的就直接「啊啊啊」
“Eww!” And some people went, “Argh!”
卡罗尔的 我最喜欢的
Carol, now this is a definite favourite.
卡罗尔说 我用膝盖开的门
Carol said, “Opened the front door on my knees,
我以为是我孙子来了
“Expecting my little grandson to be there,
结果发现我盯着的是邮递员的裆部
“To find myself staring at my postman’s crotch.
这听起来好像也不太糟 问题是
“It might not have been too bad, had I not squealed,
我开门的时候还大喊道「你好啊小男孩」
“Hello, little man!” As I opened up.
还有金的 金说 我托着咖啡盘
And we’ve got Kim, Kim says, “Had to carry a tray of coffee
去上司办公室给他及四位男性访客送咖啡
“Into my boss’s office for him and four male visitors.
结果进门的时候 裙子的口袋
“The pocket of my skirt caught on the door handle
勾到了门把手 直接把裙子前面扯下来
“And as I walked in, the front of my skirt ripped off