米兰达：我的欢乐庆典（2020）

♪ Tell me more, tell me more
♪比如他有没有车♪
♪ Like, did he have a car… ♪
我没拿吸尘器当男人
This is not a Hoover being a man.
我交过男朋友的
I’ve had boyfriends…
我说多少次了
How many times –
被人打量一眼不代表他就成你男朋友了
being flashed at does not constitute a relationship?
没礼貌
Rude.
太逗了
Such fun!
米兰达 别在走廊里跑
Miranda, don’t run in the corridor.
老师 这叫含笑马步颠
It’s a gallop, Miss.
我觉得所有的商人都应该这样跑
I think all businessmen should do it
我希望以后通过电视将马步颠向全国推广
and one day I hope to tell the nation via a TV show.
我觉得进展不错嘛
Well, that all went very well, I thought.
现在我们又迎来了十年后的联欢会
And here we are, having a celebrazione ten years on,
在帕拉丁剧院 还配了点不合时宜的小零嘴
at the Palladium, with some non-befitting nibbles.
我喜欢帕拉丁剧院 特别喜欢
I love the Palladium, I love it.
不过听起来确实像一种止疼药的名字
Although it does sound a little bit like a painkiller.
「头疼吗 来几片帕拉丁」
“Got a headache? Take a couple of Palladiums.”
我还是…
Might just…
一个人独吞分享装 对咩
Eating a sharer bag all to ourself, are we?
耐不住性子想出场 对咩
Impatient to make our entrance, are we?
对 没错 确实是
Am yes, I am. We are.
话都说不清楚 声音像尤达大♥师♥ 对咩
Getting confused and sounding like Yoda, are we?
还是快点介绍我出场吧
Just do my introduction, please.
女士们先生们…
Ladies and gentlemen…
-多美言我几句 谢谢了 -嘘
– And make it good, please. – Shush!
有请我非常敬仰的一位女性
..Please welcome, a woman that I look up to,
不过基本上她都是在抬头仰望我
but not as much as she looks up to me,
因为她是我的小精灵好友
because she’s my tiny elf of a friend
能看到别人看不到我的地方
who sees a part of me no-one else does –
也就是我称之为「胸架」的下方
the underneath of my what I call breast shelf.
我的好闺蜜 莎拉·哈德兰德
It’s my bestie, Sarah Hadland!
BGM: I’m So Excited by The Pointer Sisters
♪ I’m so excited ♪
♪ I just can’t hide it ♪
♪ I’m about to lose control and I think I like it ♪
♪ I’m so excited ♪
♪ And I just can’t hide it ♪
♪ And I know, I know, I know ♪
♪ I want you… ♪
你好啊 我可爱的小矮妖
Hello to you, my leprechaun of loveliness!
你也好 女巨人
Hello to you, tallest caller.
这真是太让人兴奋了
Isn’t this exciting?
-小飞侠是不是很棒 -太赞了
– Weren’t McFly fabulous? – Amazing.
重大新闻 叫我菲奥娜·布鲁斯[英国知名记者]
News just in… Call me Fiona Bruce…
菲奥娜·布鲁斯
Fiona Bruce!
我完全没料到你们会接哏
Was not expecting that. So…
-他们在准备巡演 -天呐
– They’re going on tour. Yes. – Wow!
不过鉴于气候危机
Although in the light of the climate crisis,
我建议他们把乐队名改成
I have suggested that they change
小·坐火车·侠
their name to Mc-Go-By-Train-Instead.
或者小·如果硬要飞
Or McFly-If-You-Have-To
就多种几棵树抵消碳足迹·侠
But-Then-Plant-Some-Trees-To-Offset-Your-Carbon-Footprint.
挺顺口的 不过要印在T恤上就有点麻烦
It’s quite catchy. It’s difficult to fit on a T-shirt, though.
不是要伤你自尊哦
Although I’m not being rude,
你穿的码就装得下这些字
but it would fit on one of your T-shirts.
不知道你记不记得
If you remember,
一边口口声声「不想伤你自尊」
saying, “I’m not being rude”
一边出口伤人自尊真的很伤自尊
Before saying something rude doesn’t make it not rude.
我现在想起来了
Oh, yes, I remember that now.
我们是来一起庆祝的
We’re here to celebrate you,
-那就来聊聊米兰达和斯蒂薇吧 -好
– so let’s talk about Miranda and Stevie. – Yes.
故事开始于2008年 我们当时拍了试播集
It all started in 2008, when we did the pilot.
刚开始我更像是你的老板 西装革履的
Originally, I was more like your boss in a suit,
-对吧 -没错
– wasn’t I? – You were, yeah.
特别正经严肃
And it was all very, very serious.
-你当时特别严厉 -是的
– You were very stern. – Yeah.
我们其实准备了一段视频给你
In fact, we’ve got a little clip for you…
-哦不 -很少有人看过
– Oh, no. – ..Not oft seen.
你有什么地方不对劲
There is something wrong with you,
你这人没生活情趣
you don’t know how to have fun.
我怎么没生活情趣了 我搞过一次烧烤
Oh, I can be fun. I had a barbecue once.
-这怎么就算… -我还在海滩做♥爱♥了
– How on Earth…? – And I had sex on the beach.
你这是酒名还是真做♥爱♥了
The drink or the activity?
不怎么喜欢 有点恶心想吐
Didn’t like it much, felt all queasy,
我醉得摇摇晃晃的
I was staggering about so much,
最后那玩意儿从我手里滑出去了
it fell out of my hand in the end.
害我赔了不少钱
And it cost a fortune.
还是不确定 是酒还是做♥爱♥
Still not sure, the drink or the activity?
变化太大了
You’re so different!
没用 你太严格
Didn’t really work, you being so strict.
-对 -我们发现米兰达需要个朋友
– No. – We realised that Miranda needed a friend,
否则没有人跟她一个战线
otherwise everyone was going to be against her,
所以我跟BBC说
so, I said to the BBC,
如果我们要给她一个朋友
if we’re going to create this best friendship,
我们得花点时间
we need to spend some time,
所以他们给了几个候选人
so they gave us a couple of guys to
在水泵房♥里即兴表演
improvise in a back pump room.
说得好像我们在啤酒厂彩排一样
Sounds like we rehearsed in a brewery
其实是BBC的一个房♥间
it was a room at the BBC.
-我们有点一见如故 -很快 对
– So, we sort of clicked, really, immediately. – Immediately, yeah.
我们组合很有喜剧效果 是吧
We had comedy chemistry, didn’t we?
-是的 亲爱的 -谢谢
– We did, darling, yes. – Thank you.
我拿出个笔记本 我们算是即兴
Yeah, I just sort of got a notepad out and we kind of improvised
-我们第一次 -你观察我了 对吧
– and that’s when we first… – You followed me around, didn’t you?
我观察你了
I followed you around.
因为我总爱随意唱点什么
Because I used to sort of sing lines of things randomly,
所以有了那句「今天你做了什么」
and that’s how what Have You Done Today? Came about.
我觉得我们都想重温一下
I think we all want to hear it.
问题是
The only thing is,
没有那个希瑟的头像纸板我唱不出来啊
I can’t do it without my Heather on a stick, so…
♪今天你做了什么让你感到骄傲♪
♪ What have you done today to make you feel proud? ♪
太棒了
So good.
听说现实生活里有人会对你唱这歌♥ 是吗
And is it true that people sing that to you in real life?
-最糟糕的 能跟我情景重现一下吗 -当然
– Yeah, the worst -would you help me do a re-enactment? – Certainly.
最糟糕的一次是 我正站在站台
The worst I’ve ever had, I was standing at a pla…
你是我
You be me.
你就是我 在一个寒冷的晚上站在站台上
So, you’re me standing at a platform on a cold night
一位女士
and then a woman…
-寒冷的夜晚 对吧 -寒冷的夜晚
– Cold night, did you say? – Cold night.
-真是个好演员 -英国影视艺术学院奖提名
– Very good actress. – BAFTA nominated.
在火车站一个寒冷的雨夜
This woman creeps up to me,
这女的悄悄从后面过来
a cold, rainy night on a station,
你就想着自己的事 很开心
just in your own thoughts, quite happily.
♪今天你做了什么让你感到骄傲♪
“What have you done today to make you feel proud?!”
真的吗
Really?
我们能一起合作真的非常棒 真的
Well, yeah, it was amazing that we connected, really.
是一件非常幸运和愉快的事
It was a lovely and lucky thing.
我们在戏里结下的友情
The friendship started in the script,
延续到了戏外 回过头又影响了剧情
then it went to real life, that informed the script.
因为我们关系更亲近了
Then as we got closer,
米兰达和斯蒂薇也变得更亲近
Miranda and Stevie got closer, so…
真的非常幸运
Yeah, it was really lucky.
明天晚上
So, tomorrow night,
米兰达和斯蒂薇的「男无卡拉OK纯娘夜」
Miranda and Stevie’s Okey Dokey No Space For Blokeys karaoke.
斯蒂薇 斯蒂薇 斯蒂薇 斯蒂薇
Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, Stevie!
我不能没有你 就像沙发不能没有坐垫
I need you, we’re like a sofa and a little pouffe.
-你想来一局松饼摇摇乐吗 -当然
– Do you want a round of swing muffin? – Of course.
旗开得胜
Good luck.
你喜欢的游戏我玩得溜着呢
The game that you love is my game
「米兰达在哪里」
Where’s Miranda?
找到了
Found her!
她精神便秘时 我就是她的开塞露
She’s emotionally constipated and I’m her metaphorical prune.
我们是美洲狮
We’re cougars.
对不起