黑衣人3（2012）

-你说啥 蠢货 -再说一遍试试
– What’s that, dumb-ass? – Say it again.
-你想听吗 -你敢说吗
– Want me to? – I dare you.
蠢货
Dumb-ass.
两位
Agents.
就算你是名人
You know I have no problem
照样揍得你面目全非屁滚尿流
pimp-slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol.
你说什么
What?
你干嘛看我
Why are you looking at me?
那么这样吧 特工K
Oh, all right. You know what? Agent K.
何不让你和特工W单独交流一下心得
Why don’t you see what information you can get from Agent W
我出去转转
and I’ll go case the perimeter.
-这样总行了吧 -行了
– That work for everybody? – Go do that.
-怎么样 -算你识相
– How about that? – Oh, cute.
-是吧 -这就对了
– Okay. – Very nice.
傻不拉几的
Someone forget his nap?
你好吗 帅哥
Hey, how you doing?
好得很
Chilling.
他是谁
Who’s that guy?
不会是你的新搭档吧
Don’t tell me he’s your new partner.
事实上 我们是老搭档
Actually, he’s my old partner.
他从未来穿越回来拯救地球
He traveled back from the future to save the planet…
停 别扯了 我不想知道
Jesus, stop, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.
安迪 洋子来了
Andy, Yoko’s here.
洋子来了
Yoko’s here.
告诉她我正在拍吃汉堡的男人
Tell her that I’m filming this man eating a hamburger.
效果太棒了
It’s transcendent.
行了 现在换泡菜
All right, now the pickle.
你想在我场子上干嘛 K
What are you doing on my turf, K?
追捕一个杀手 来自伯格罗蒂特星
Tracking a killer. Boglodite.
我们认为他下一个目标在这里
We have reason to believe he’s gonna hit here next,
是个格莱美亚星人
a Glamourian.
格莱美亚星人 你找对了星系 找错了星球
Glamourian? Right solar system, wrong planet.
他肯定是在找阿卡南人
He’s gotta be after the Archanan.
阿克南星人已经死光了
Archanans are extinct.
不可能 上周还有一个被冲上了岸
Apparently they are not. One washed ashore last week.
罗斯威尔那边一直有他们的消息
The whole Roswell circuit’s all buzz about it.
是一只外星独角兽 仅存的一只了
Alien unicorn. Last of its species.
他叫格里芬
His name’s Griffin.
阿卡南人格里芬
Griffin the Archanan.
你好
How’s it going?
好 我好吗 这得看情况
Going? How’s it going? That depends.
就我个人来说 一切都很好
For me, personally, it’s good, things are good.
但是 几秒钟以后就不好了
Unless we’re in the possible future
那个肌肉男跟他的女朋友吵架
where the muscle boy argues with his girlfriend.
她怒气冲冲地离开
She storms off and
撞到端着一盘填馅蘑菇的服务生
bumps the guy with the stuffed mushrooms
他把托盘扣到那个正要离开的水手身上
who dumps the tray on the sailors on leave.
东西一个接一个被推倒
A shoving match breaks out.
然后撞向这张桌子
They crash into the table.
所以我应该把碟子拿走 立刻
In which case, I gotta move my plate like right now.
还有 在我吃了这个熏肉三明治之后
Or it’s the future where the pastrami sandwich I’m eating
一阵胃疼
causes me gastric distress.
幸好你朋友给了我他随身携带的胃药
Thankfully, your friend offers the antacids he carries
所以我很好 会很好
in his right pocket, so good. I’ll be good.
除非 我两分半钟后就得离开
Except in the future where I have to leave in two and a half minutes
等不到他把药给我
just before he has a chance to offer me the antacids,
因此整体来说 不好 我不好
so on the whole, I’d have to say not good. I am not good.
但还得看情况
But that depends.
K
K!
我们怎么才能找到他
How will we find this guy?
别担心 我又不是笨蛋
What am l, a schmuck?
他就在这儿
He’s here?
“在这儿”是一种相对的说法
“Here” is a relative term.
他是第五维空间的高级生命体
He’s a fifth dimensional being.
他们可以以各种不确定的形态存在
They can live in and visualize an infinite set
在不同的时空同时出现
of time-space probabilities simultaneously.
真有意思 干得好
Sounds like fun. Good work.
等等 K
Whoa, whoa, K, K, K.
你得把我弄”死” 退出卧底 懂不
You gotta fake my death, okay?
我再也受不了西塔琴的聒噪了
I can’t listen to sitar music anymore.
好吧 我尽量 我会跟X说的
All right, I’ll see what I can do. I’ll talk to X.
K 我根本分不清他们是男是女
K, I can’t tell the women from the men.
我能看看你的表吗
May I see your watch?
现在是7:18
Oh, it is 7:18.
不是这个 你♥爸♥爸给你的那个
No, no, your other watch, the one your father gave you.
你怎么知道那个表的
How do you know about my father’s watch?
完了
Oh, dear.
这说明罗曼已经死了
This is the one where Roman is dead
保龄球馆的那个人也死了 死了这么多人
and the gentleman at the bowling alley. So much death.
成功的几率无穷小啊
Such an infinitesimal small chance for success.
K
K!
你是格里芬吧
Griffin, right?
我们来这儿
We’re here–
因为孽畜鲍里斯
Because of Boris the animal.
我们认为他要
Correct. We think he’s coming–
来杀我 两分钟以内
To kill me. He’ll be here in two minutes
除非
unless we’re in
他一路冲过来 没遇上一个红灯
the possible future where he made all the lights unbarring
提前到达此地
and got here early and is just about
站在门口就开火
to discharge weapon from the doorway
那样的话 我们两秒钟后就会死光光
in which case we’re all dead in two seconds.
太好了 差一点儿
Good, that was a close one.
K 太空枪给我
K, I need a space gun.
伯格罗蒂特星人
The Boglodites
杀人毁星 无恶不作
consume any planet in their path.
我的星球 罗曼的 帕拉星人的
Mine, Roman’s, the Parlaxians’.
我试着阻止他们
I tried to stop them,
如果我们这次成功了
but if we stop them here,
让他们在地球上铩羽而归
if we deny them Earth…
自绝而亡 我们就能一劳永逸
we can stop them forever. They’ll starve before
阻止他们危害其他星球了
they reach the next planet.
还剩63秒
Sixty-three seconds.
那我们该怎么办 如何阻止
How do we do that? Stop them?
什么
What?
抱歉 我有东西要给你们
Sorry. I have something for you.
一个礼物 它会保护你们
A gift. It can protect you.
鲍里斯一直不知道它的存在
I had to hide it from Boris,
不过得等到下次见面的时候
but if you find me again
我再把它交给你们
I’ll give it to you.
谢谢 比赛棒极了 厉害 真是奇迹
Thank you. What a game! Amazing! It’s a real miracle!
什么意思 什么奇迹
What do you mean? What miracle?
30秒 我得走了
Thirty seconds. I have to go.
不行 你走不了
No, we got you.
我们纠缠得越久 负面效应就越大
Negative possibilities are multiplying as we speak.
-知道了 -20秒
– Okay. – Twenty seconds.
好吧
All right.
有我们呢 别担心
We got it, relax.
如果你的表坏了 我又吃了熏肉
If your watch is broken and I have gastric–
飞吧 自♥由♥地飞翔
Fly! Find your place in the world!
天哪
Oh, dear.
鲍里斯就要从那扇门进来了
This is the one where Boris is coming through that door
12秒
in 12,
11 10
11, 10,
等一下
Wait!
你今早是不是喝了巧克力奶
Did you have chocolate milk this morning?
没错
Yes.
辛迪
Cindy.
K
K!
-格里芬跑了 -交给我
– Griffin! – Got him.
该死
Damn it!