拜见岳父大人2（2004）

He was 19. A late bloomer.
他那时19岁 很晚了
You s-slept with Isabel?
你和伊莎贝尔睡过?
We were relieved.
我们很放心
Why… why would you, why… why would you bring that up?
你干嘛要提起这个?
What’s the problem?
怎么了
It was, what, 15 years ago.
那都是15年前了
Honey, your father thought
亲爱的 你父亲认为
that it’d be fun to share stories
告诉大家我们的第一次
about our first time.
很有意思
Really? That sounds like fun. That’s…
真的吗? 这有意思吗? 这…
That’s fine.
这还行吧
Come on, tell us how you popped your cherry. Come on.
来吧 和我们说说你 第一次是怎么样的
I really don’t feel comfortable
我真的不太想…
discussing that with you, Bernard.
告诉你这个 伯纳德
You know what? I suggest that we get back to talking about the wedding.
我建议我们还是谈谈婚礼吧
Thank you, Bernie.
谢谢
What?
那是什么?
Mom, didn’t you just take Little Jack back to the room?
妈妈 你刚才不是把小杰克抱回屋了吗?
I’m monitoring him from a high-powered
我把一个大功率多向麦克风
multidirectional microphone planted in his crib.
放在他的摇篮里监视他
Oh, baby monitors. Hidden cameras.
哦 婴儿监视器 隐藏摄像机
Whatever happened to a little thing called privacy?
没人考虑过什么叫隐私吗?
Bernie, surveillance technology has helped protect
伯尼 监视科技能保护
a lot of the freedoms
我们美国人
that we as Americans take advantage of today.
每天在享受着的各种自♥由♥
He’s right. It has been good.
他说的是对的 那些东西不错
S-son, that is bullcrap in a chef’s salad.
儿子 那纯粹是胡扯
Jack, tell me one smart thing the CLIA has done
杰克 你告诉我一件CLIA干过的聪明事
and I’ll give you the deed to her house.
我就给她的房♥子的房♥契给你
The CLIA?
CLIA?
The Central Lack of Intelligence Agency.
中♥央♥缺乏情报局[对中♥央♥情报局的讽刺]
I think that baby might need a couple of pulls
我想那孩子想嘬嘬
on that knocker of yours, Jack.
你那乳♥头♥了 杰克
No, it’s okay.
没关系
We’re Ferberizing him.
我们采用放任疗法
You’re what? The Ferber method.
你们什么? 放任疗法
You let him cry it out. This way he doesn’t depend on coddling.
就让他哭 这样他就不会对拥抱有依赖感
On the other hand, the Continuum Concept
与此相反 源续的观念表明
shows that a baby benefits
经常性的身体接触
more from constant physical contact.
对婴儿更为有益
Oh.
哦
We use the Ferber Method.
我们还是会采用放任疗法
We used the Focker Method.
我们采用福克尔疗法
We hugged and kissed that little prince
我们总是抱着小孩亲他
like there was no tomorrow.
就好像明天就抱不到了一样
We Fockerized him.
我们让他变成一个福克尔
That’s right.
没错
Greggy practically slept in our bed till he was 10.
格雷格差不多10岁 才不睡我们的床
Oh, my God!
哦 天啊
Oh, I don’t think it was quite that long.
我不觉得有那么久
Yes, it was.
就是那么久
No, it wasn’t 10.
不是10岁
Nine-and-a-half, at least.
至少是9岁半
Mom, I don’t think so.
妈妈 我不这么认为
I didn’t sleep in their bed all that time.
我不是一直睡他们的床的
Bernie, get the photo album.
伯尼 把照片集拿来
I’m one step ahead of you.
我早就料到你会要
No, no, no, we’re eating dinner, come on.
别别 我们还在吃饭呢
These are the curls
这是他第一次
from his first trip to the barbershop.
去理发店 剪的头发
Nobody wants to see this.
没人想看这个
Oh, and you kept all of his baby teeth.
你把他的乳牙都保存下来了
Look at his darling little teeth,
看看这个 这是他的乳牙
isn’t that sweet?
真可爱
Uh-oh, somebody looks very grumpy there.
哦 看这里 某人脾气很差啊
Oh, that’s Gay with the mohel.
哦 那是盖和戴维·德莫里在一起
The mohel? No.
德莫里? 别说了
He’s the man who snips the baby’s little winkydink.
他是剪断婴儿的包皮的人
See, that’s Greg getting circumcised, right here.
看 这就是格雷格被割包皮
We had the ceremony at my parents’ house
那仪式在我父母家举♥行♥
but there was a cold snap and… Tell him.
天气很冷…你来说
The heater conked out.
暖器坏了
Mom.
妈妈!
No matter how hard he tried, the mohel couldn’t coax
不管他怎么努力 德莫里就是没法
Greg’s tiny little turtle from its shell.
哄格雷格把他的小龟♥头♥ 从壳里伸出来
You know what? Let’s not talk about the tiny turtle, okay?
妈妈 我们不要谈小龟♥头♥了好吗?
Let’s… Th-this is dinner.
这可是在吃饭
Honey, half the people at this table have penises.
亲爱的 这桌子周围一半的人都有阴♥茎♥
Mom, control yourself.
妈妈 控制一下你自己
Roz, he’s right. You’re embarrassing him.
萝丝 他是对的 你让他难堪了
Okay, I’m sorry.
好吧 对不起
Make a long story short, Jack, he wound up with a semicirc.
长话短说吧 杰克… 他最后割了一半包皮
What’s a semicirc?
什么叫一半包皮?
I can’t wait to hear this.
我等不及要听这个了
What? It’s a cross between an ant eater and…
就像把食蚁兽和…
A German Army helmet.
德国♥军♥队头盔放在一起
But, honey… Oh!
但是 亲爱的
You wanted to talk about the wedding, right?
你想要谈谈婚礼对吧
Don’t tell me you kept his umbilical cord.
别告诉我们说你还 保留婴儿的脐带
Of course not, that’s Greg’s foreskin.
当然不是了 那是格雷格的包皮
All right, you know what? That’s it. That’s… that’s enough humiliation.
好啦 到此为止吧 你们羞辱的够了吧
Honey, stop. We’re having fun.
别这样我们正聊的开心呢
No, I’m not having fun.
我可不开心
Why deny us our memories?
为什么要否认我们的记忆呢?
Because we’re done!
因为我们谈完了
Anyone in the mood for Chinese?
有谁想吃中国菜吗?
You told me your first time
你和我说你的第一次
was with the Danish transfer student in high school.
是和高中的一个丹麦交换学生
Yeah, well, you weren’t exactly forthcoming
是啊 你对你和凯文订婚
about your engagement with Kevin.
也没有说实话啊
Yeah, well, he wasn’t my babysitter.
是啊 他又不是我的保姆
Okay, I should have told you, all right.
好吧 我是应该告诉你的
Can we just let it go, please?
我们能不能让过去的 就过去好吗?
We both got enough stuff to deal with this weekend.
我们这个周末 都有很多事情要忙
Oh, hi, Jack.
哦 你好啊 杰克
Hello, Greg.
你好 格雷格
Funny dinner, huh?
真是个可笑的晚餐 对吧?
How do you mean?
你什么意思?
I know that you are studying my family like the frozen caveman.
我知道你就像考察原始人一样 考察我的家庭
So, I just, I don’t want you to be worried, okay?
我只是不想让你担心
I mean, they’re a little quirky,
他们是有些奇怪 但是…
but they-they’re well-intentioned
但是他们是好意
and… and I think they’re just nervous and…
而且 我觉得… 他们只是有点紧张
Greg, I am sure tomorrow will be a better day.
格雷格 我肯定明天会更好
I’m sorry, ma’am.
对不起 夫人
I thought you ordered room service.
我以为你要了客房♥服务呢
Are you sure you don’t want
你肯定你不想
any whipped cream with your sundae?
在你的圣代上面放点鲜奶油吗?
Bern, stop it!
伯恩 停下!
Who’s Bern? I’m Chad, the bellhop.
谁是伯恩? 我是夏德 旅馆服务生
Oh, no, come on, we did that last week.
哦 好啦 别这样了 我们上个星期刚玩过
Can’t you be Sam the carpet-cleaning man?
你就不能当地毯清扫工萨姆吗?
It’s illogical. Why would a carpet cleaner have whipped cream?
这不合理 一个地板清扫工 怎么会有鲜奶油?
Well, improvise, honey.
好啦 表演一下吧 亲爱的
Good evening, miss.
晚上好 小姐
I’m here to clean your carpet.
我来这打扫你的地毯
Do you mind if I put some foam down on your rug?
你介意我给你地毯上弄点泡沫吗?
I don’t mind at all.
没关系的
Good night, Greg.
晚安 格雷格
Okay, sleep well, Jack.
好的 睡个好觉 杰克