拜见岳父大人2（2004）

Have you ever known me to turn down a chimi?
我有不想吃过墨西哥春卷吗?
Jack, you in the mood, amigo?
杰克 你不想尝尝吗?
No, thanks.
不用了 谢谢
Why are you looking at me funny?
你干嘛这么奇怪的看着我?
l… l… I said…
我…我…我说…
Oh, no, no. You just look like somebody I know.
不 不 你只是很像一个我认识的人
No, no, no, no.
别 别 别
Tadpole. Tadpole. Can you say tadpole?
蝌蚪 蝌蚪 你能说蝌蚪吗?
Mad bull.
疯牛?
Asshole.
混…蛋
No, Jack’s mole.
别 杰克痔
‘Cause Jack has a big mole on his face.
因为杰克脸上有颗大痔
Is your father the mechanic?
你父亲是机修工吗?
Oh, l… I don’t know, I never met him.
哦 我不知道 我从来没见过他
Never met your dad, huh?
从来没见过你父亲?
Oh, that’s unfortunate.
真是不幸
But very interesting.
但是很有意思
Mind if I take a picture of you?
介意我给你拍张照片吗?
You know, just for fun.
你知道 就是随便拍一张
Okay.
好吧
# Mr. Moose likes to say good words #
驯鹿先生希望说好话
# He doesn’t like you to say bad words #
不要你说脏话
Asshole.
混…蛋
Okay. Just hang on a second there.
好啦 等一下啊
Yeah. Hello.
喂
Hi, It’s me. How’s it going with the little one?
喂 是我 小孩子照顾的怎么样啊?
Horribly. He’s crying and screaming, and cursing.
糟透了 他又哭 又叫 还在诅咒
That poor kid is desperate for human contact.
小孩子需要身体接触
Honey, you need to hold him, and kiss him,
亲爱的 你要抱他 亲他
do whatever it takes.
什么有用就做什么
I’ve been hugging him in secret,
我偷偷抱过他
feeding him chocolates, too.
也给他吃过巧克力
All animals have babies…
所有动物都有孩子
Say hello to my little friend!
向我的小朋友打个招呼吧
You know, he’s probably teething.
还有他可能是在长牙
So put a dab of rum in his milk.
往他的牛奶里面放点朗姆酒
And it’ll ease the pain, he’ll go to sleep.
这样能缓解他的痛苦 他就会去睡觉了
You want me to give him a drink?
你让我给他喝酒
I’m talking, less than a thimbleful.
我只是告诉你放一点点
You don’t want Jack coming home
你也不想让杰克回来
to a screaming baby.
看到一个哭闹的婴儿吧
Listen to your mother. Goodbye. I love you.
听妈妈的话吧 再见 我爱你
All right, Mom.
好吧 妈妈…
Hey, Little Jack, I got a surprise for you.
嘿 小杰克 我给你带来惊喜了
Little Jack?
小杰克
Mr. Moose is looking for you.
驯鹿先生在找你
Oh, shit! Where the hell did he go?
糟糕 你到底去哪了?
LJ! Little Jack!
小杰克 小杰克
LJ! LJ!
小杰克 小杰克
Does that Jorge resemble anyone you know?
那个霍黑像哪个你认识的人吗?
No one I know.
我不认识哪个人像他
Hmm.
嗯
There’s something you don’t see every day.
这场面你可不是天天见
Focker! Focker!
福克尔! 福克尔!
Okay. I know this looks bad, but I can explain it.
我知道这看起来很糟糕 但是我可以解释
What the hell happened? I said no monkey business.
这到底怎么回事? 我说了不要搞恶作剧
No. There was no monkey business.
没有 这没什么恶作剧
No monkey business?
没恶作剧?
You’re wearing my breast, Little Jack is drinking,
你穿着我的乳♥房♥♥服 小杰克在喝酒
Moses is sodomizing Jinx,
摩西在强♥奸♥丁克斯
and you’re telling me there’s no monkey business?
你还说没恶作剧
What is going on here? You all right, LJ?
这到底怎么回事? 你还好吗 小杰克?
Hello! We’re home! Hey, guys.
嗨 我们回来了 大家好啊
Give me the bottle.
把瓶子给我
What’s happened to Little Jack?
小杰克怎么了?
His hands are stuck to the bottle of rum.
好像他的手被粘到朗姆酒瓶上了
Thank you, Dad. You bet they’re stuck.
爸爸 谢你啦 没错 粘住了
Greg, how did this happen?
格雷格 发生什么了?
And why are you wearing antlers?
你干嘛戴着角?
It’s very complicated.
这很复杂
It’s just a little glue. He’s fine.
只是一点胶水 他没什么事
He’s not fine. If he could use his hands, he’d tell you himself.
他有事 如果他能用他的手 他会告诉你的
All right. That’s all right. Come on.
好啦 没事啦 没事啦
Little Jack, honey, are you okay?
哦 小杰克 亲爱的 你还好吗?
Greg…
格雷格 你…
Dina. Pam.
迪娜? 帕姆?
Yes, Dad, uh… I’m coming. Little Jack.
啊 爸爸 我就来 小杰克?
Honey, I said a thimble, not a bottle.
亲爱的 我让你用一点 不是用一瓶
Oh, Greg.
哦 格雷格
Hey.
嗨
How’s the little guy doing?
小家伙怎么样了?
Everything is just as good as new.
一切都完好如初了
Yeah.
是吗?
Dad, come on.
爸爸 出来吧
Is he all right? He’s asleep.
他还好吗? 睡着了
I don’t care if they did call you Larry Poppins.
我不管他们是不是叫你拉里·帕品斯
You are completely unfit to handle a child.
你完全不适合带小孩
It was Barry Poppins.
是巴里·帕品斯!
What kind of sick cocktail were you gonna make my grandson?
你打算给我孙子 调什么恶心的鸡尾酒?
Jack, the baby’s teething.
杰克 那孩子在长牙
I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.
我让格雷格给他一点朗姆酒 缓解他的痛苦
It was your idea? Yes.
那是你的主意? 是啊
What is wrong with you people?
你们一家人有什么问题?
I used to rub bourbon on Denny’s gums.
我也曾经往丹尼的口香糖上 抹波旁威士忌酒啊
Yeah! Look what happened to him.
是吗! 看看他变成什么样子
Greg, you couldn’t follow a simple set of instructions?
格雷格这么简单的指令 你都完不成吗?
Jack, he was screaming.
杰克 他在哭叫
So I went in and gave him a little attention. Okay?
所以我进来 照顾一下他 就这样而已
He’s learning to self-soothe.
他要学会自我安慰
These setbacks are disastrous for his development.
你这样做对他的成长简直就是灾难
The child is adorable,
这孩子的确可爱
but you’re not raising Little Buddha over here.
但你不是在养一个小佛陀
Mom. What are you saying?
妈妈… 你什么意思?
I’m saying that I’ve seen that kid eat
我想说的是 自从这孩子来这
at least 15 boogers since he’s been here
我看他至少吃了15颗鼻屎
and I’ve got news for you, Jack,
我告诉你 杰克
prodigies don’t eat their own boogers.
天才不吃鼻屎
And I have news for you. Prodigies don’t come in 10th place
那我告诉你 天才也不会
every time either.
每次都得第10名
Okay, Dad. That’s my fiance.
爸爸 那是我的未婚夫
I’m sorry. I’ve never seen people
对不起 我从来没见过人
celebrate mediocrity the way you do.
像这家人一样 为这种平庸成绩庆祝
Because we love our son? We hug our son?
就因为我们爱我们的儿子? 我们拥抱我们的儿子?
Let’s get down to it. The truth is,
我们直说吧 说实话
you’re so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think
你非常关心那个小杰克…
that it’s the Little Jack in you
但是我觉得你心中的小杰克
who’s crying out for a hug.
正在哭着要抱
The Little Jack in me?
我心中的小杰克?
Jack, you have issues.
杰克 你有问题
I’m trying to understand why you run around
我正在试图理解你为什么
with a rubber boob strapped to your chest.
把个橡胶乳♥房♥♥绑在自己胸口上
Were you ever breastfed?
你有没有被喂过奶?
Mom, stop. Key question.
妈妈 别说了 一个重要的问题
My guess is no.
我猜你没有
Spare me the drugstore psychology.
少和我扯你那些药物心理学吧
Everybody! All right. Everybody just…
各位 好了 各位 够了
Everybody just stop, okay?
别说了!
Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. Yes,
杰克 我不想找什么借口 是的
Little Jack wouldn’t stop crying so I gave him some hugs
小杰克哭个不停 所以我抱了抱他
and I let him watch TV.
然后让他看了电视