一个头两个大（2000）

但是
But. . .
我以为自己就是你心灵友伴
l thought l was your soul mate.
快点，长腿女郎，我们走吧，甜心
Come on, legs! Let’s roll, baby.
我不知怎样说
l don’t know what to say.
身不由己
l guess the heart just wants what the heart wants.
查理，再见
Bye, Charlie.
但你说过甘愿吃鲸油
But you said you’d eat whale blubber.
我会晚晚叫她吃鲸油
She’ll be eating blubber all right, just as soon as l free willy.
男人心碎后反应很有趣
lt’s funny how a man reacts when his heart gets broken.
有些情绪激动，哭个半死
Some break down and cry like a baby.
有些拿支半自动步♥枪♥胡乱杀人
Others, they take out an Uzi and climb a clock tower.
但查理没半点反应
But Charlie Baileygates didn’t seem to react at all.
他狠狠地吞下这口气，感到心疼气顶
He just swallowed hard, felt that slab of heartache slide over the lump in his throat
他强忍♥一切伤痛
and he locked it all away.
当然，这样做并不容易
As you can imagine,
独力养大占姆、李哈维、小桑达
it wasn’t easy for little Jamaal, Lee Harvey and Shonté Junior growing up without a mom.
查理将小屋变成大家庭
But Charlie made that little house into a big old home,
儿子长大
and the boys flourished.
都聪明过人
Let me tell you, they were smart ones.
在做什么？ – 爹，做飞机
What are you building, fellas? – An airplane, Daddy.
再见
Bye- bye!
再见，爹，工作愉快
Bye, Daddy! Have a good time at work.
爹，我爱你
Love you, Daddy!
不，喂！快停下！
No! Hey, stop it!
占姆，你闯祸了
Get. . . Jamaal, you’re in a lot of trouble!
不准起飞
Get off that! Don’t you take off in that!
♪♪小白鸽要飞过多少海洋♪♪
How many seas must a white. . .
小桑达，为何吃那么多不长肉？
Shonté Junior, how can you keep eating that crap and never gain weight?
不知道 ，我想是幸运吧
l don’t know. Just lucky, l guess.
♪♪炮弹要飞多少次♪♪ – 猜到那声？
How many times must the cannonballs. . . – Do you believe his voice?
♪♪才永远遭禁飞♪♪
Before they’re forever banned?
是高麦比尔！
That’s Gomer Pyle!
爹，可否看有线台的普瑞尔？
Daddy, can we watch Richard Pryor on HBO?
理查德·普瑞尔？
Richard Pryor?
求求你
Please.
好吧
Okay.
我去非洲的野外
ln Africa, though, l go out in the country.
看到狮子，活生生的狮子
You see some lions and shit. l’m talking about real lions.
不是动物园那些玩具狮子
Not them kind you be fucking with in the zoo.
怎样逗它们，喂，死狮子
You know how you go fuck with a lion? “Hey, lion ! Motherfucker!”
向它掷东西，它会说：噢
Be throwing shit at it. Lion’d be “Oh, ooh.”
他们生活有序，日子慢慢过去
As they have a way of doing, the years passed somewhat regularly.
孩子们长大成人
And the boys, well, they came into their own.
我首先叫她吃我的沙律
. . .toss my salad !
那家伙说：什么叫我吃我的沙律？
The guy’s like “Toss my salad? What’s that?”
吃我的沙律…即是说用枫糖浆伴吃你屁♥股♥
Having your salad tossed means having your asshole eaten out with jelly or syrup.
我会选糖浆
l prefer syrup.
那个死仔真风趣
He’s a funny motherfucker!
查理工作不如意，但孩子很出色
Although Charlie’s police work had started to suffer, the kids were doing great.
妈的，搞不清这氚核的原子量
Damn ! l can’t figure out the atomic mass of this motherfucking deuteron.
很简单
Shit. Man, that shit’s simple. Look it.
告诉我 – 什么
Tell me this, tell me this. – What?
氚核由什么组成？
What’s a deuteron made up of?
质子和中子
Duh ! A proton and a neutron.
那么质子在算式中数值多少？
Then what’s this motherfucking electron doing right there?
不知 – 将它从算式中拿走
Shit, l don’t know. – Well, get it out of there then !
你是说将质子和中子的值加起来
OK, so you’re saying l add up the atomic masses of the proton and the neutron, right?
我明白了，但那中子呢？
l sees that, but what do l do with the goddamn electron? Can l put it here?
死鬼费密听到这蠢话死不瞑目
Enrico Fermi’d roll over in his motherfucking grave if he heard that.
他会打你屁♥股♥
He’d just turn over ass up in yo’ face.
别这样骂他
Man, Jamaal. Just cut my man some slack.
我在帮他
l’m just trying to help him save face.
他问的问题很蠢
He keep asking questions, they’ll think he’s stupid.
我不是蠢材 – 你们早
l ain’t stupid. – Morning , fellas.
爹，你好吗？
Hey, Pops, how you doing , man?
为何那么吵？ – 讨论功课
What’s all the commotion? – Oh, just school shit and shit.
我的幼子怎样了？ – 挣扎
How’s my little guy doing? – Struggling.
量子物理很深，不努力便拿B十
Quantum physics is confusing. lf l don’t buckle down, l’ll get myself another B+ .
那作弊家伙
Oh, that’d be whack.
他真笨，他认为微积分是个该死的皇帝
He’s so fucking dumb, he thinks calculus is a goddamn emperor.
放弃吧，老兄
Give it up, dawg.
你才以为波利是牙膏名字
Well, you think polypeptide’s a motherfucking toothpaste.
我要走了，去除暴安良
Oh, l gotta get out of here. l don’t wanna have to bust a cap.
亲亲
Kisses.
爹
Daddy.
回头见 – 爱你
See ya later. – Love ya.
查理在屋内极受尊重
Yeah, Charlie was getting a lot of respect inside the house.
但在外面…就完全不同了
But outside. . . Well, that was another story.
艾德，早
Morning , Ed.
查理
Charlie.
见到我的早报去了哪里？
Ed, did you see where my paper went today?
我老婆拿了入厕所
The wife’s got it in the shitter.
可否看完了，扔到我屋前？
Well, could you tell her to throw it on the porch when she’s done?
你上班不就有报纸看吗？
Can’t you get one at work?
对
Yeah. . .
我可以的，
l suppose l could.
你说得对
You betcha.
♪♪我喜欢…♪♪
l’d like that
♪♪我们能在车道上骑车♪♪
lf we could cycle down some lane
♪♪我喜欢…♪♪
l’d like that
♪♪我们能在雨中骑马♪♪
lf we could ride into the rain
♪♪没有雨衣，全身淋湿♪♪
No macs, getting wet
♪♪我是你的艾伯特♪♪
l’d be your Albert
♪♪你是维多利亚♪♪
lf you’d be Victoria
♪♪哈哈，我们会笑因为每一滴雨水都会让我♪♪
Ha- ha, we’d laugh because each drop would make me
♪♪长得很高，真的很高♪♪
Grow up really high, really high
♪♪就像一个很高的东西，叫向日葵…♪♪
Like a really high thing, say a sunflower. . .
喂，佐治 – 嗨，查理
Hey, George, Herb. – Hi, Charlie.
你们好！ – 嗨，查理
How do, fellas? – Hi, Charlie.
听着，迪克… – 看双这巨♥乳♥
Listen, Dick. . . – Hey, guys, check out the rack on this one!
真妙，正合老子口味
Oh, yeah ! That’s what Daddy likes.
那乳♥沟♥深不可测
lt looks like a dead heat in a zeppelin race.
像两艘飞船 – 巨大无比
A couple of Hindenburgs, huh? – Oh, the humanity!
有什么稀奇，她是个妈妈
Come on, guys, take it easy. She’s a mom.
好妈妈
“She’s a mom !”
她是个妈妈，不是我妈 – 她是性感妈妈
She’s a mom. Not my mom. – She’s a yummy mummy!
笑死我
You kill me!
真好笑
Sure, that is good.
迪克，这样打扰你，真对不起，
Listen, Dick, l’m sorry to bother you like this but. . .
但你的车一定要驶走
Your car is gonna have to be moved.
没有问题，十五分钟后便走
Yeah, sure, Charlie. OK. l should be done here in another 1 0 or 1 5 minutes.
我不是吹毛求疵，但…
l hate to be a stickler, Dick, but. . .
依法律规定，你只能泊一小时
The law says you can’t park in one place for over an hour,
你已泊了…
and you’ve been there for. . .
泊了三天了
Going on three days now.
好了，法律大晒
All right, all right. The law’s the law.
将车泊在杂货店后，知道吗？
Park it up behind the grocery store, will ya, Charlie?
知道
Yeah, sure.
这条？
This one?
常言道：缩头龟只能做虾兵蟹将
There’s an old saying: an ostrich with his head in the sand makes a lousy cop.
自己也管不了
You see, if you can’t deal with your own problems,
怎能管别人
well, it’s hard to deal with others.
甜心？很危险
Sweetie? That’s kinda dangerous.
快到行人道上
Wanna move it on to the sidewalk, away from traffic?
我爹说你是乌龟，不用听你说
My dad says you’re a joke and l don’t have to listen to you.
我尊重你爹的看法
Well, your father is entitled to his opinion.
但我是执法者，我…
But l am an officer of the law, and, by all rights, l could. . .
滚蛋
Fuck off!
别说粗口，小姑娘
You should watch your mouth, little girl.
对不起，查理
Excuse me. Charlie!