玛丽和马克思（2009）

3 – I have bad handwriting, and
我过于敏感
hypersensitive clumsy
甚至有些神经质
And can get very concerned.
第四 我喜欢解决问题 艾薇说这是好事
4 – I like solving problems. Ivy said this is a good thing.
最后 第五 我在情感表达方面也有些吃力
And finally no.5 – I have trouble expressing my emotions.
伯纳德·豪夫医生说我的大脑有些缺陷
Dr Bernard Hazelhof says my brain is defective
但终有一天会治好的
But one day there will be a cure for my disability.
我并不喜欢他这么说
I do not like it when he says this.
我不认为我有缺陷 或者需要治疗
I do not feel disabled, defective or I need to be cured.
亚斯伯格没什么不好
I like being an aspie.
我生来如此 为什么要改变呢
It would be like trying to change the colour of my eyes.
但是 有一件事我倒是真的想要改变
There is one thing I wish I could change, however.
我希望可以痛哭一场
I wish I could cry properly.
我挤啊挤啊的 眼睛里却一滴泪水都没有
I squeeze and squeeze but nothing……comes out.
我切洋葱时会流泪 但这可不能算
I cry when I cut onions but this does not count.
总之 你喜欢”金橘”这个词吗
Anyway, do you like the word ‘cumquat’?
是一种水果
It is a type of fruit.
你有觉得很好听的词汇吗
Do you have a favourite-sounding word?
我最喜欢的五个词是
My top 5 are
“药膏””大黄蜂””海参崴””香蕉””睾丸”
Ointment, bumblebee, vladivostok, banana and testicle.
我还发明了一些新词 比如”纠结”
I have also invented some new words – “confuzzled”,
就是混淆和困惑两个词一起说
Which is being confused and puzzled at the same time,
“肮雪脏” 雪和肮脏的混合词
“snirt”,which is a cross between snow and dirt,
还有”碎食”
And “smushables”…
就是兜子底下的 那些食品碎屑
which are squashed groceries you find at the bottom of the bag.
我还给牛津词典写了信
I have sent a letter to the Oxford Dictionary people
要他们收录我的新词 但是一直没有答复
Asking them to include my words but I have not heard back.
我该去参加匿名暴食者交流会了
It is now time for me to go to my overeaters anonymous meeting.
有一个叫做马乔里·巴特沃斯的女人
There is a woman there called Marjorie Buttersworth
她很奇怪
Who confuzzles me.
她没经我同意就亲了我 所以今晚
She kisses me without my permission so tonight
我决定往我的腋窝里抹些洋葱 熏死她
I Have decided to rub onions under my armpits to repel her.
你的美国朋友 马♥克♥思♥·杰瑞·霍洛维茨
Your friend in America, Max Jerry Horowitz.
附言 我给你寄去些
Ps. please find enclosed
熟食店里的巧克力食品
Some chocolate-covered ants I found at the deli.
又及 从我上次写信到现在 我一直很好
Pps. Not much has happened since I last wrote
除了过失杀人
except for my manslaughter charges,
中乐透大奖以及艾薇的故去
Lotto win and Ivy’s death.
马♥克♥思♥的信着实让玛丽吓了一跳 他终于回信了
Mary was thrilled Max had finally written
突然 她想到了一个绝妙的主意
and suddenly had a fabulous idea.
[通便糖浆]
[给马♥克♥思♥的眼泪]
玛丽和马♥克♥思♥的友谊再次复燃
Mary and Max’s friendship was resuscitated
她的眼泪是他收到的最好的礼物
and her tears were the best gift he’d ever received.
马♥克♥思♥头脑中闪现的是笑容
Inside Max’s head his brain was smiling.
装着各式各样怪异的巧克力
Loaded up with bizarre forms of chocolate,
他们的信在两大洲之间飞梭
Their letters flew thick and fast between the continents.
马♥克♥思♥小心翼翼地阅读玛丽的信
Max learnt to read Mary’s letters with caution
一旦感觉不舒服 他就会停下来
and at the slightest tingle of tension, he would stop,
吃两片药来舒缓神经紧张
Take his medication and soothe his nerves.
每封信他都熨烫 装裱 放在一个特别的地方
Each letter he would iron, laminate and file in a special place,
这同样可以舒缓他的神经紧张
Which also soothed his nerves.
他也乐于解答她的种种疑问和难题
He enjoyed answering her questions and solving her puzzles
比如说 绵羊在被雨淋后也会缩水吗
like – do sheep shrink when it rains?
为什么老头儿都爱穿高腰裤
Why do old men wear their pants so high?
鹅也会起鸡皮疙瘩吗 脐带为什么是蓝色的
Do gooses get goosebumps and why is bellybutton lint blue?
天堂里也有”诺布利特一家”吗
Are there noblets in heaven?
如果出租车倒着开 那司机会倒找你钱吗
And if a taxi goes backwards, does the driver owe you money?
同样
In turn,
玛丽也很喜欢听马♥克♥思♥解说他的传奇人生
Mary simply enjoyed hearing about Max’s fascinating life
有多少人乱丢垃圾
..how many people he’d counted littering…
新一代亨利是如何死掉的
..how the latest Henry had died…
关于鸡肉菜肴的新秘方
..and new recipes he’d invented for chicken.
他们互相慰藉
Each nourished the other and,
玛丽一天天的长高
as Mary grew taller,
马♥克♥思♥越来越胖
Max grew wider
他们的友谊
their friendship
比玛丽粘玩偶用的胶水还要牢固
Becoming stronger than the glue on Mary’s noblets.
尽管马♥克♥思♥在玛丽那里找到慰藉
Although Max found solace in Mary,
他依然对世界充满困惑
He still found the rest of the world bewildering.
他不理解为什么别人把他当怪物看
And he couldn’t understand why he was seen as the odd one
而其他人都被认为是正常人
while everyone else was considered normal.
[不准随地吐痰]
人类真是不可理喻
Humans were endlessly illogical.
在印度饿殍遍野
Why did they throw out food
却还有人糟蹋粮食
When there were children starving in lndia?
明明离不开氧气
Why did they clear the rainforests
却还大肆破坏雨林
When they needed the oxygen?
制定了汽车时刻表
And why did they create bus timetables
却从来都不准时
When they never ran on time?
他赞同自己最喜欢的物理学家的说法
He agreed with his favourite physicist that
只有两件事是不变的
There are only two things infinite –
宇宙 以及人类的无知
The universe and man’s stupidity.
而对于玛丽来说
And for Mary,
尽管马♥克♥思♥给了她信心
Even though Max filled her with confidence…
牛眼
Bullseye!
她的世界依然不完美
..her world was far from perfect.
对爱情的渴望让她喘不过气
The grip of love had her by the throat.
在1988年8月8日的下午4点59分
At 4.59pm, on the 8th of the 8th 1988…
诺埃尔·诺曼·町可钉上最后一条绳子
Noel Norman Dinkle attached his last string and,
历经40年 制♥作♥了4千万个茶叶袋之后 他退休了
After 40 years and 40 million tea bags, he retired.
为了庆祝
To celebrate,
诺埃尔宣布他从此退休
Noel announced he was retiring from taxidermy
并将从此致力于金属探测
and taking up metal detecting instead.
遗憾的是 这个爱好并未持续多久
But, sadly, it was not a hobby he had for long.
[安息吧]
[诺埃尔·诺曼·町可]
[1929-1988]
依照他的遗嘱
In his will,
诺埃尔留给玛丽一笔钱
Noel had left Mary some money
于是玛丽决定上大学
So she decided to go to university and
学习思想混沌学
Study disorders of the mind,
以便于更好的了解她的朋友
Yearning to learn more about her friend.
玛丽在大学里像从前一样受欢迎
Mary was as popular at university as she was at school.
达米安也在同一所大学
Damian went there too,
相思真是折磨人
Aching to be a thespian.
你好啊 玛-玛-玛丽
Hi there, m-m-Mary.
你…你好
Hi…hello!
真是搞-搞-搞笑啊
That was damn f-f-funny!
达米安 你妈妈的玫瑰花看起来好美啊
Hey, Damian, your mum’s roses look fab!
谢-谢-谢-谢谢夸奖 玛丽
Oh, th-th-th-thanks, Mary.
玛-玛丽 我能跟你说点事吗
Um, m-Mary, can I tell you something?
当然 宝贝
Sure, babe!
你的鞋上沾了狗-狗-狗-狗-狗屎
Um, um, you’ve got d-d-d-d-dog’s poo on your shoe.
亲爱的马♥克♥思♥ 我真是蠢透了
Dear Max, I have been such an idiot.
我把钱都花在了没用的地方
I’ve wasted all my money on something Pointless
而我本该去看你
when I should have been saving to see you.
我知道爱情让你不舒服 所以我就不提了
I know love upsets you so I won’t go on about it.
我想说的是 爱情对我来说是遥不可及的
All I want to say is that love is obviously not for me.
希望你一切安好 并喜欢我的雪茄巧克力
I hope you are well and enjoy the chocolate cigarettes I’ve enclosed.
爱你的玛丽
Love Mary.
你可真是不要脸
Oh, you should be ashamed!
-宝贝 我们快走 -可是妈妈…
– come on, baby. let’s go. – oh, mum…
[首先要学会爱自己]
我告诉过你不要和陌生人说话
I told you never to talk to strangers.
诺埃尔的突然离去让维拉感觉懊悔和自责
Noel’s sudden death had filled Vera with remorse and guilt
她唯有借酒浇愁
And she coped in the only way she knew.
[防腐剂]
[毒性很强]
[安息吧]
[维拉·洛伦·町可]
[1935-1989]
[首先要学会爱自己]
亲爱的马♥克♥思♥ 我梦想中的婚礼变为现实了
Dear Max, our wedding day was everything I have ever dreamt,
我往日遭受的磨难算是得到了补偿
Making up for the terrible year I’ve had.
虽然所有的宾客都是达米安的亲朋好友
Although all the guests were Damian’s family and friends,
但他们都很喜欢我
I felt very welcome.