神盾顾问（2011）

漫威短片《顾问》
Marvel One-Shot The Consultant 2013
肚子饿了?
You hungry?
这里的煎饼很不错
They make great pancakes here.
看样子并不顺利，对么?
It didn’t go well, did it?
对，不太顺利
No, it did not.
他们驳回了计划?
They reject the initiative?
当然没有
Of course not.
他们提了个我能想到的最愚蠢又草率的要求
But they made the most idiotic, ill-conceived request imaginable.
他们想让布朗斯基入队
They want Blonsky on the team.
憎恶?
The Abomination?
别让他们听到你这么叫他
They really don’t like when you call him that.
那哈林区事件该怎么说?
Butt the Harlem incident?
他们打算把那件事算在班纳头上
They’re pinning that on Banner.
算在班纳头上?
On Banner?
就是那个你不会想去惹毛的家伙
Not the guy you wanna make angry.
他们认为布朗斯基是个战争英雄
They consider Blonsky a war hero.
他们想让他无罪释放
They want him exonerated,
而且，还要记入战功簿
released, and then added to the roster.
他们以为他在我们手上
They think we have him.
你的特工等级是几级来着?
What’s your clearance level?
有意思
That’s funny
六级
It’s level six.
和你一样
Like you.
卧♥槽♥这次是七级机密?
Come on, there’s a level seven?
布朗斯基被关在罗斯将军的管辖区内
Blonsky’s in custody in General Ross’s sector.
弗瑞局长当真想要布朗斯基?
Does Director Fury even want Blonsky?
当然不想
Of course not.
不过他可不能无视世界安全理事会的明确指示
But he can’t ignore an explicit directive from the World Security Council.
所以我们必须确保他没有无视上面的指示
So we have to make sure he doesn’t have to.
那我们到底该怎么做
How the hell are we gonna do that?
我也不知道
I have no idea.
不过我们必须在24小时之内派个人去见将军
But we have to send a liaison to the General within 24 hours.
所以，按照理事会的指示
So, on the Council’s orders,
我们必须派个人去找罗斯将军
We have to send one of our people down to General Ross
向他要这个我们不想要的布朗斯基?
to ask for Blonsky, who we don’t even want.
就是这样
Exactly.
有了
I got it.
我们安排个冒失鬼去搅乱这个任务
We send a patsy to sabotage the debriefing.
冒失鬼?
A patsy?
对，让他去捣乱，让他使劲搅和
Yes, omeone to screw it up. Someone so inept
直到罗斯将军拒绝释放布朗斯基
that General Ross will refuse to release Blonsky.
我就可以
I can do it.
我最擅长捣蛋了
I do a great patsy.
是啊
Yes, you do.
你简直是出了名的捣蛋鬼
Your patsy is legendary.
话说，提起”捣蛋鬼”
In fact,when I think of the word “patsy”…
打住
All right.
我在想，在这件事上我们得耍一点特殊的手段
You know, I’m thinking, for this we need a slightly different skill set.
如果我们想让将军拒绝释放布朗斯基
If we want the General to refuse this request
我们就得找个真的能惹毛将军的人
then we have to send someone who will truly annoy him.
一个既傲慢又惹人厌
Someone arrogant and abrasive
还能藐视当权者
with an utter disdain for authority.
一个能把将军惹毛到极致的人
Someone who will offend the General to his very core.
你说的是那个”顾问”
You’re talking about the…
不，才不是
No, I’m not.
你说的就是他
You just described him to a T.
我再强调一遍，打住
I’m telling you right now, stop it.
我才不会派那个”顾问”去
I am not calling the Consultant.
嗯~
Emm…
我闻到了钢铁、啤酒…还有挫败的味道
Smell of steel, beer… and defeat.
将军，你知道我不太想说”我早就告诉我你了”
You know I hate to say, “I told you so,” General.
不过超级士兵计划被♥干♥掉也是有原因的
But that super soldier programme was put on ice for a reason.
我一直认为还是硬件装备更靠谱一些呢
I’ve always felt that hardware was much more reliable.
斯塔克
Stark.
将军
General.
你总是穿得如此光鲜
You always wear such nice suits.
好眼光
Touche.
我听说你摊上了个不寻常的麻烦
I hear you have an unusual problem.
说人话
You should talk.
那你听好了
You should listen.
所以…
So…
有消息不?
Any word?
任务完成
Mission accomplished.
憎恶暂时只能乖乖的呆在他的牢笼里
The Abomination will remain in his cage for now.
很显然，那个”顾问”证明了自己
Apparently, the Consultant outdid himself.
罗斯将军成功被惹恼到差点把他踢出酒吧
Ross got so mad, he tried to have him removed from the bar.
那结果呢
How did that go over?
斯塔克买♥♥下了那个地方
Stark bought the place.
正打算星期四把它炸了
It’s scheduled for demolition on Thursday.
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漫威短片
《顾问》