火星人玩转地球（1996）

这是世界上最漂亮的小猫
This pussycat is the most beautiful pussycat… …in the whole world.
它是我的墨菲
That’s my Muffy. Mwah.
你有没有养过小猫?
Richie, didn’t you ever have a pussycat of your own?
当然养过
Sure, Grandma.
音乐
Music.
你到了
-There you go. -Thank you.
你一个人行吗?
Hey, Grandma, you gonna be okay?
若需要面包圈或别的东西
If you need anything, any doughnuts or anything…
打电♥话♥给我
…give me a call, all right? Bye.
你好
How do, Byron?
看来你没有车,上来吧
Looks like you ain’t got no wheels. Come on, get in.
我要帮你个忙
I’m gonna do you a favor, Byron.
我欠你的情
I owe you one.
你73年那场比赛让我赚了大钱
I made a ton of money on your last fight in ’73. The Quaker in Jamaica.
我很高兴有人赚钱
Heh. I’m glad somebody did.
我知道
Yeah, I know, I know.
运动员挣钱不容易
It’s rough on jocks.
上了点年纪机会就少了
Get to a certain age, opportunities dry up.
咱们做个交易
So here’s the deal.
有个傻瓜欠我钱需要有人提醒他
I got this chump, owes me a lot of money, needs a wake-up call.
我要你帮我个忙
What I’d like for you to do is…
给他一记左勾拳
…use that patented left hook on him.
只有在拳击台上我才动手
Just in the ring, Art, you know? Just in the ring.
我明白
Yeah, I’m hip, I’m hip…
可我给你2千元
…but I’ll give you two grand.
完事后
When you’re done…
你只要溜达到我办公室拿现金
…all you gotta do is mosey on by the office and pick up the cash.
你为什么要我去干这种事?
Why you wanna come at me that way, Art?
我正努力回到妻子身边
You know I’m trying to get back with my wife.
我们就是为这种事而分手
We used to have problems with that same kind of shit.
现在我改了
I’ve changed, man.
我皈依了穆♥斯♥林♥
I found Allah,
不再吃猪肉我已经改邪归正
I don’t eat pork, and I’m a better man.
我摆脱了魔鬼我不能再走回头路
I faced that demon. I don’t want him coming out again.
你不吃猪肉了?
You gave up pork.
他们发来着陆坐标
General, they’re sending coordinates.
(华盛顿 5月13月星期六04：58)
他们要在哪里着陆?
-Where are they landing?
帕伦普,在内华达州沙漠地区
-Pahrump. It’s in the Nevada desert.
我的军队能在8点前赶到那里
Yes, sir. I can have my troops there at 0800 hours, sir.
千万不能给他们错误信息
Mr. President, we must not send these people the wrong message.
我们需要的是迎宾红地毯 而不是成排的坦克
We need a welcome mat, not a row of tanks.
你胡说什么?
What the hell are you talking about?
不能让火星人在内华达到处乱跑
You can’t have Martians running all over Nevada!
你说的对
-You’re right, general.
-谢谢,先生 -我们必须控制局面
-Thank you, sir. The situation needs to be supervised.
没错,先生
Absolutely, sir.
凯塞将军,你能够胜任吗?
General Casey… …you think you can handle it?
我很荣幸
I’d be proud.
很好,不过不要大张旗鼓
Good, but keep a lid on it.
只请主要媒体各界头面人物
Key media, good cross-section of guests.
我不想把那里变成动物园
We don’t want it to turn into a zoo out there. Yes, sir.
他们不知道自己在干什么
They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.
自♥由♥派,知识分子
Liberals, intellectuals…
和平主义者,白♥痴♥
…peacemongers, idiots!
请小点声
Would you please keep it down?
有人住在这里
People live here.
凯塞将军
General Casey.
是的,我要去欢迎火星大使
Yes, I get to greet the Martian ambassador.
了不起吧?
Isn’t that great?
这是天大的荣誉
Oh, it’s a hell of an honor.
我说过呆在一个位置上别多说话
But didn’t I always tell you, honey… …if I just stayed in place and never spoke up…
肯定会有好事发生
…good things were bound to happen? Yeah. Okay.
(欢迎光临地球)
要把火星人当成外国贵宾
I want the Martians to be treated like foreign dignitaries.
我要你们神采奕奕
I want your men alert and majestic…
威武庄严脚步铿锵
…with a snap in their step.
保持完美形象全世界都在看我们
This has got to look good. The whole world is watching.
是,长官
BOTH: Yes, sir.
你肯定这东西能管用?
Are you positive this thing is gonna work?
绝对肯定
Positively positive.
我们不想出任何差错
We don’t want any slip-ups.
不不不,不会的
No, no, no. Not at all. No.
波比,这么多人
Hey, Poppy. All these people…
都是来看你的
…all of them here to see you.
那是杰森!
Mm-mwah. There’s Jason, Poppy.
开始吧
All right, let’s go.
人们从全国各地结伴来到这里
The teeming masses have gathered from who knows how many states…
等待观看
…waiting and watching.
他们为什么来?
Why have they come?
好奇还是另有原因?
[ON TV] Curiosity? Or is it something more?
或是仅为能说“我也在场”
Or is it simply to say, “I was there”?
人类第一次与火星人会面时 我也在场
“I was there when first man… …met Martian.”
GNN杰森.斯通在帕伦普报道
Jason Stone, GNN, Pahrump.
让一让 给他们多点空间
Give them room. That’s it. Give them room.
这场面太令人敬畏了
It is an awesome sight.
巨大的宇宙飞船闪着银光
The giant spacecraft glinting…
在内华达的阳光下
…in the Nevada sun like a giant…
像个巨型轮毂罩
…hubcap.
有动静了
Something’s happening.
飞船的门打开了
Doorway is opening.
伸出一条银色坡道像个巨舌
A silver ramp is coming out… …like a giant tongue.
哇??
Oh. Gee whiz. Rusty. Shh.
火星人
Martians.
说什么?
Funny little critters, ain’t they?
等等
CASEY: Well? Wait a moment.
你们好
MARTIAN: Greetings.
我是火星大使
I am the Martian ambassador.
已经调试好你可以讲了
Everything is fixed now, general. You may speak.
你们好
Greetings.
我是凯塞将军
I am General Casey…
美国武装部队指挥官
…commanding officer of the armed forces of the United States of America.
我代表地球人欢迎你们
On behalf of the people of Earth, welcome.
他做得很好
He did that well.
我们为和平而来
MARTIAN: We come in peace.
我们为和平而来为和平而来
We come in peace. We come in peace.
他们为和平而来
They came in peace.
我们为和平而来
We come in peace.
开火!
Open fire!
怎么回事?
What the hell is this?
去死吧,火星混♥蛋♥!
Die, you alien shithead!
我投降!
Uh-oh. I surrender.
这不是真的,这不是真的
No, that ain’t happening. That didn’t happen.
我的上帝
Holy mother of God.
你们都看见了?
Did you see that?
我们应该向他们进攻
We should hit these assholes with everything we got, sir.
总统先生,我知道这很可怕
Sir, Mr. President, I know this seems terrible…
但我们不要草率从事
…but let’s not be too rash.
用原♥子♥弹♥
We should nuke them now, sir.
必须找到与他们对话的方法
We must establish a line of communication first.
设立一个论♥坛♥
Why not set up a town hall?
广泛征求公众意见
We can get the public’s opinion.
你以为如何
What do you think, Marsha?
给我狠狠地打
Kick the crap out of them.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen…
这可能是文化误解造成的
…this could be a cultural misunderstanding.
也许他们认为鸽子意味着战争
Yeah. Maybe to them, doves mean war.
我们都看到他们对那鸽子的反应
We all saw how they reacted to that dove.
把他们吓坏了
It frightened them.
他是说“我们为和平而来”
He did say that… …”We come in peace.” Yes.
新计算机准备好了
The new computer’s ready, Mr. President.