耍酷一族（1995）

Well, go on!
我想知道我母亲是否曾经穿过这样的
I wonder if my mother ever wore a pair like this.
怎么样？
How about these?
– 非常性感 – 听起来使人信服
Very sexy. That sounded convincing.
我有心事
I’m preoccupied.
T.S，她告诉过你，她只是帮她父亲
T.S., she told you. She’s just doing it as a favour to her father.
毫不顾及我
Regardless.
她又不会跟别人做♥爱♥
It’s not like she’ll fuck the guy on public access.
– 她也许会 – 你又反应过敏了
She might as well. You’re overreacting again.
这就是为什么你们感情破裂 也是我们女孩为什么这样做
That’s why your relationships fail.
It’s certainly why ours did.
在高中的那次化装舞会上你也如此
You got bent out of shape the same way over that costume party in high school.
你与瑞克·黛莉丝在桌球台上作♥爱♥
You fucked Rick Derris on a pool table!
– 人人都看到 – 那是化装舞会，T.S
With everyone watching, noless.
It was a costume party, T.S.
没有人知道是我
No one could tell it was me.
除了你还有谁记得？
Besides, who else but you remembers shit like that?
我也是个性感女郎
I would’ve been a sexy chick.
记得那次化装舞会吗？
Do you remember that costume party?
你与瑞克·黛莉丝在桌球台上作♥爱♥的那次？
Might that have been the one where you banged Rick Derris on the pool table?
没有人记得那种事吗？
Nobody remembers shit like that?
你怎么会记得这种琐碎的事？
How is it that you recall the most trivial events?
我决不会忘记 你见到斯玛吉与班迪作♥爱♥有多少机会？
I’ll never forget it. How many chances
do you get to see Smokey fuck the Bandit?
我不像伯特·雷诺兹吗？
Didn’t I look just like Burt Reynolds?
差胡子
Except for the moustache.
他们有试衣间，你应该去那里
You know, they have a whole room you’re supposed to do that in?
今天有变♥态♥者想看我裸体
Some pervert wanted to see me naked so badly today…
我在试衣时，两次闯了进来
he busted in on me twice while I was trying on stuff.
这样他就不用费神了
This saves him the effort. Oh.
还要在这间女人店呆多久？
Ooh.
How much longer are we gonna be in this chick store, anyway?
我开始受不了
I’m starting to get a mean hard-on.
鲍迪，说说你跟蕾娜分手的事
Brodie, Tell me about the Rene break-up.
我把她当违规停车罚单那样丢弃了
I threw her away like a parking ticket. Ha!
别装了，鲍迪，今天早晨我和蕾娜的表弟谈过
Don’t front, Brodie. I talked to Rene’s cousin this morning.
– 刚好相反 – 他们当然不是假装分手
It was vice-versa.
They certainly aren’t acting broken up.
问他电梯
Go ahead. Ask him about the elevator.
– 告诉我电梯的事 – 上升，还是下降
Tell me about the elevator.
It goes up and down.
蕾娜这么粗俗，怎么喜欢和她约会？
Rene seems so coarse, anyway.
– 曾经跟人上过床？ – 哦，是的
What was it like to date her?
Ever slept with somebody?
我是指真的和别人睡觉
Uh,yeah.
I mean, really slept with somebody.
伴着他们，不只在一张赌桌子上作♥爱♥
Beside them, not just fuck them on a gaming table.
我们一起睡过，在中学，记得吗？
We slept together one time, remember, in high school?
– 那次滑雪旅行？ – 那是你？
That ski trip? That was you?
不错，鲍迪，我曾跟许多人睡过
Yes, Brodie, I’ve slept beside many people.
你知道当某人背着你
All right.
You know how when someone lays with their back to you…
你靠近他，用一只手臂抱着他
and you lay behind them really close
and you throw one arm over them?
称为亲热动作
It’s called spooning.
但是你必须把另一只手臂放某处
But you gotta put the other arm somewhere.
你可压着，或放在二人身体之间
You can either lay on it or just shove it in between your bodies.
不然只得伸向头顶
The only other option is to stretch it above your head.
我这样睡觉的时候，手臂会伸出来了
But sometimes my arm pops out of the socket when I’m sleeping like that.
得不停地找地方放
So, I was constantly searching for someplace to keep my arm…
仍然继续靠近
while still laying close to her.
然后呢？
And?
什么然后呢？这是我俩关系的比喻
What do you mean, “And”? That’s like a metaphor for our whole relationship.
傻瓜
Jackass.
我要走了，美食广场见
I’m all out. I’ll meet you at the food court.
我明白他的感受，对不起
I know exactly how he feels. Excuse me.
加满可乐，不要冰
Fill this with Coke, no ice.
要喝一口吗？
Want a sip of my soda?
斯麦托思前任男朋友
Smartass ex-boyfriend.
你知道我是谁？
You know who I am?
一个满怀怨恨的零售经理？
A deeply resentful retail manager?
蕾娜现在与我在一起，你如何？
Rene’s with me now. Okay? You got that?
因此不要在她附近嗅了 也再不要做今天做的事
So don’t be sniffing around her anymore like you tried to do today.
狗屁！
Shit!
那里是肺
There goes the lung.
听着
Listen to me.
我有件事要告诉你，我不喜欢你
I got two things to tell you.
One: I don’t like you.
我每个星期在这个商场见到你
I see you every week in this mall.
我不喜欢游手好闲的人
I don’t like shiftless layabouts.
你是那些不学无术的家伙中的一个
You’re one of these fucking loser mallrat kids.
你不是来做事或是购物，而是终日无所事事
You don’t come here to work or shop, you hang out all day.
当这里是你家
Act like you fucking live here.
我讨厌闲荡的人
I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda.
这是推销技俩吗？
Is this what’s known as motivated salesmanship?
蕾娜叫我别管你，她真是太笨了
Rene told me to leave you alone, but she’s fucking clueless.
最近经常觉得奇怪，要保护前任男朋友
The newly single often feel strangely protective of the ex-boyfriend.
如果这是她的主意，那她对我还留恋
If this is her idea of protective,
hate to have her mad at me.
听着，布鲁斯
Now, you see, Bruce…
我喜欢勾搭失意的女孩
I like to pick up girls on the rebound from a disappointing relationship.
女孩子此时大多易诱惑，她们需要安慰
They’re more vulnerable, they’re in much more need of solace…
并较能接受意见
and they’re fairly open to suggestion.
我习惯在特别的地方与她们作♥爱♥
And I use that suggestion to fuck them someplace very uncomfortable.
在大众汽车的后座？
What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
不，在她们害怕的地方
No, like somewhere girls dread.
Oh!
很好
All right. Now, uh…
因为这是挑战？因为这是禁忌？
is it because it’s a challenge?
Is it because it’s taboo?
或是因为我喜欢，你知道…
Or is it because I like to, you know…
这与她们以往大不同
have them differently than they’ve ever been had before?
这听起来像讨论一样
This sounds like a discussion much more suited…
很适合一个专业的辩护律师
to an extended professional counselling session.
我得给你找个治疗师
I’ll go get a therapist for you.
显然，这里需要医生的人
Now, evidently, the only one that’s gonna need a doctor here…
是你自己，我的朋友
is yourself, my friend.
我建议你
And my suggestion to you is…
忘记你曾约过蕾娜
forget you ever dated Rene.
直到我在最近的调情中找到什么
Until I get what I’m looking for from this latest dalliance…
最好在她呆的10个城市里见不到你
I better not find you within 10 city blocks of her…
否则我对你不客气
otherwise I will be forced to do you some very serious damage.
懂吗？我们都明白？
All right? Hmm? We clear on that?
什么蕾娜？
Rene who?
你去哪都好，你记住了
There you go. Not bad, you’re learning.
我们没关系，对不对？
Well, all right, Bryce.
布鲁斯
Bruce.
我很高兴我们能闲谈
I’m glad we had this little chat.
我搞你的女朋友时，我会记得的
I’ll remember it when I’m fucking your girlfriend.
我的商店下个周末减价
Oh, and, uh, my store’s having a sale next weekend.
你应该来，我给你一套廉价的时装
You should come by. I’ll cut you a nice deal on a suit.
– 我们曾经相处过吗？ – 一两次
Did we ever get along?
– 我们为什么离开？ – 你有事
Once or twice.
How come we went out as long as we did?
你要留下来欣赏节目吗？
You had cable.
So, are you gonna stay for the show?
不，他一回来我就走
Absolutely not. As soon as he gets back here, I’m gone.
T.S·奎特，你的骑士风度呢？
T.S. Quint. Where’s your sense of chivalry?
哦，天啊！那是鲍迪吗？
Oh, my God! Is that Brodie?
你开玩笑吧？复活节兔子打的？
You’re fucking kidding? The Easter Bunny did this?
我说是复活节兔子…
All I said was the Easter Bunny
在门罗帕克商场更使人信服
at the Menlo Park mall was more convincing.
他跳过栏杆将我击倒
He just jumped the railing and knocked me down.
– 他非死不可！ – 放过他吧，他已承受了很多压力
He’s fucking dead!
Oh, let it go. He’s under a lot of pressure.
他怎么了？
What the hell happened to him?
穿复活节兔子服的家伙打他
The guy in the Easter Bunny suit kicked his ass.
– 妈的，跟我来，塞尔·鲍伯 – 到底发生了什么事？
Fuck all that shit. Come on, Silent Bob.
时尚男服店的主人打了我的肚子
What really happened?