耍酷一族（1995）

他似乎过份崇拜超级英雄的性器官
He seems to be really hung up on superheroes’ sex organs.
他会逐渐淡化的
But he’ll outgrow it.
– 李先生？ – 嘿
Oh, Mr. Lee? Yeah.
– 努力向上！ – 你说得对
Excelsior! Oh, you got that right.
再见
See you.
真酷
Cool.
我感觉它在动
I think I felt it move.
说笑的
Just kidding.
– 我正找你俩帮忙 – 什么事？
Just the two I’m looking for. I need help.
– 把香农·汉密尔顿影带借给我 – 为什么？
With what?
Let me borrow the Shannon Hamilton tape. Why?
非常重要！我感情的未来全靠它
It’s important! The future of my relationship
– 在我家 – 开T.S的车去，停在2D
depends on it.
It’s at my house. Take T.S.’s station wagon, parked in 2D.
– 我没有驾驶执照 – 快去！
I don’t even have a license. Just go!
你仍有那舞台的图样吗？
You still got that stage schematic?
我想你帮我换电缆
I need you to wire something together for me.
他怎么了？
Oh, Jesus. What’s with him?
我也不知道，突然不太舒服
Oh, I don’t know. I’m suddenly not feeling too well.
不过一切顺利
But everything is fine.
节目快要开始了
We’re about to start.
先生们，今晚你们会感到将很特别
Oh, you are in for something really special tonight, gentlemen.
我已经准备好…
I have lined up…
– 抱歉 – 天啊
Excuse me.
Jesus.
对不起
Sorry.
我已安排好几个聪明的小伙子
I have lined up some really bright kids here.
保证乐趣无穷
This promises to be a lot of fun.
你们一定会喜欢
I’m sure you’re gonna love it
你不应该去躺躺吗？
Shouldn’t you be in bed or something?
我不会错过这个节目
No. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.
要大家准备就绪，我们马上开始
Make sure everybody’s ready and let’s start.
你花了多少工夫？
How much did you smoke?
不费吹灰之力，这些家伙不堪一击
All it took was a fat chronic blunt. These guys were lightweights.
– 我欠你多少？ – 请我一餐
How much do I owe you? My treat.
只要你许诺，下次你娶你的旧相好…
As long as you promise, next time you pop your old lady…
你要她叫你“杰伊” 斯洛捷-博杰斯
you make her call you “Jay.” Snootchy bootchies.
但愿有下次
Let’s hope there is a next time.
我准备好了
All right, I’m ready.
你们决不会相信我刚刚遇到谁
You’re never gonna believe who I just met.
– 他俩怎么了？ – 恶势力的力量
What the hell happened to these two?
Power of the Dark Side.
等等，只有两个
Wait, there’s only two.
应该有三个人，第三个家伙呢？
There’s supposed to be three. Where’s the third guy?
– 我决没见过第三个家伙 – 这个混♥蛋♥是谁？
I never saw a third guy.
这些家伙怎么了？
Who’s this asshole?
What the hell happened to those guys?
– 他们头昏眼花 – 你说得对
They got lightheaded. You got that right.
– 他们取消节目？ – 与你何干？
They gonna cancel the show?
我应该上节目，我是葛·赫克斯，三号♥求婚者
What do you care?
I’m supposed to be on it. I’m Gil Hicks.
我们会代替他们 我是T.S·奎特，这是鲍迪·布鲁斯
Suitor Number Three.
We’re taking their place. I’m T.S. Quint. This is Brodie Bruce.
– 我不是在新闻上见过你吗？ – 别这么跟他说
Didn’t I see you on the news?
Dude. Don’t give him any shit, all right?
一定出了事，斯维林先生在哪里？
Something’s going on here. Where’s Mr. Svenning?
斯维林·先生突然患了白喉
Mr. Svenning has come down with a sudden case of diphtheria.
他俩怎么了？
What happened to those two?
他们不舒服，我们志愿代替他们
They got sick. We volunteer to take their place.
这家伙不是从蒙默斯州来的？
Isn’t this guy from Monmouth State?
他和那女人企图杀州长
He and that broad tried to kill the Governor.
对，是奎特
Yes, it is. All right, Quint.
我不知道你如何回来的 但我会提醒斯维林先生
I don’t know how you got back in,
我们将推迟节目，直到弄清一切
but I’m alerting Mr. Svenning.
We’ll postpone the start until we figure this all out.
敬酒不喝喝罚酒！保安！
You called down the thunder,
now you’ve got it! Security!
– 嗨，罗迪！ – 干嘛？
Hey, Roddy! What?
– 天啊，你把他打晕了 – 现在打他！
Jesus Christ, you knocked him out.
有人叫保安吗？他倆怎么了？
Now hit him!
Somebody call security? What happened to those two?
他们把他打晕了，快找人来救
They got stoned and knocked him out. He needs medical attention.
事情不是…
That’s not what happened. Ow!
可否把他弄走？节目要开始了
Could you have him removed? The show’s about to start.
好吧
Whatever.
混♥蛋♥，别乱说话
Look,dude. No more shit, all right?
你只要出场，装着没人受伤害就行了
Just go out and woo like you’re supposed to and nobody gets hurt.
婕丝带录像带来之后
When Tricia shows up with the videotape,
你把它交给塞尔·鲍伯，明白吗？
you get it to Silent Bob, understand?
我就去，等等，那矮胖子在哪里？
I’m on it. Wait a sec, where is that tubby bitch?
晚安，欢迎来“真诚之约”
Good evening and welcome to Truth or Date.
在这里将点燃浪漫之火
One match made here ignites the fires of romance.
嗨，我是主持人鲍伯·萨摩斯
Hi, I’m Bob Summers, your host…
今晚我们将看到三位幸运的求婚者
and tonight we’ll watch as one of our three lucky suitors…
追求我们美丽，可爱的小姐
woos our beautiful, eligible suitor-ette.
女士们，先生们，为酝酿中的浪漫作好准备
Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for romance in the making…
我们先介绍求婚者！
as we introduce the suitors!
第一位求婚者来自玛丽山学院 他主修经济学
Our first suitor goes to Marymount College
where he majors in Economics.
欢迎达格·佩金
Say hi to Doug Paging.
努力，达格！
Do it, Doug!
第二位求婚者来自布法罗的凯尼休斯学院
Our second suitor hails from Canisius College in Buffalo…
他主修通信学
where he majors in Communications.
欢迎罗布·费捷
Say hi to Rob Feature.
最后一位求婚者来自罗格斯大学
Our final suitor goes to Rutgers…
他主修美术和希腊神话
where he majors in Fine Arts and Greek mythology.
欢迎葛·赫克斯
A nice welcome for Gil Hicks.
留心，笨蛋
Pay attention, dick.
谨祝最佳人选脱颖而出
May the best man win.
女士们，先生们 现在介绍我们可爱的小姐
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce our lovely suitor-ette.
来自蒙默斯州，她主修天文学和地球科学
From Monmouth State, where she majors
in Astronomy and Earth Sciences…
热烈欢迎可爱的博兰蒂·斯维林
a big welcome for the lovely Brandi Svenning.
大家都知道游戏的玩法
All right, everybody knows how the game is played.
我们可爱的小姐将问求婚者一些问题
Our lovely suitor-ette will ask
a series of questions of our suitors…
再从他们的答案中作出决定
and make her decision based on their answers.
废话少说！
Anything goes!
博兰蒂，你准备好了吗？
Brandi, are you ready?
好了
Absolutely, Bob.
那么你可以开始
Then you may fire when ready.
Okay-
Um.
一号♥求婚者
Suitor Number One.
如果你是一辆车，你会是哪一类车？
If you were a car, what kind of car would you be?
你不会把男朋友扔下的车
Um, the kind you’d never dump your boyfriend in.
Okay-
– 二号♥求婚者 – 你可否叫我第二位求婚者？
Suitor Number Two.
Can’t you call me the Second Suitor?
“二号♥求婚者”听起来像浴室编号♥
“Suitor Number Two” sounds like a bathroom code, you know?
第二位求婚者
Now, the Second Suitor…
听起来身份神秘
sounds like a figure of mystery.
像我在绿色的小山上
Like I belong on the grassy knoll.
第二位求婚者
Okay-
Second Suitor.
– 如果我们兴奋时发出叫声… – 什么的叫声？
If we were making whoopee–
What’s whoopee?
Um.
如果我们…
If we were…
– 如果我们正在亲密… – 什么，像作♥爱♥？
If we were being intimate…
What, like fucking?
是的
Yeah.
如果那样，你会发出什么声音？
If we were, you know, what kind of noises would you make?
不，我想那太私人
No, I think that’s kind of personal.
我不认为我应该回答
I don’t think I should answer that.
三号♥求婚者
Uh, Suitor Number Three.
我们的第一次约会将会如何？
What would our first date be like?
首先我会带你去你想去的商店购物
First I’d take you shopping to the stores you’d want to shop in.
然后去午餐，或许是在奶酪屋
And then we’d do a little lunch,
probably at the Cheese Haus…
接着打高尔夫球
followed by some golfing.
在晚上去看歌♥剧，或许是看“蝙蝠”