木兰花（1999）

Oh, Lord, why is this happening to me?
上帝啊 快帮我找出来吧
God, please help me figure it out.
我会玩完的
I’m lost out here.
到底为什么偏偏是我啊 老天!
I don’t understand why it’s happening, God.
别这样 老天
Please, God.
不管我做错了什么 我都会改正的 我会认认真真做对的
Whatever it is I did, I’m gonna fix it. I’m gonna do the right thing.
好吧 老天求求你了 让我找到枪吧
Please, God, help me find the gun.
嗯
Uh….
我爱你
I love you.
听我说 菲尔
Uh, listen, Phil.
嗯
Um…
我很抱歉
I’m sorry.
对不起 我刚才扇了你
I’m sorry I slapped your face.
好吗？我…
Okay? I, um…
我晕了刚才
I don’t know what I’m doing.
我不知道怎么会这样
I don’t know how to do this.
做什么我都能搞砸
I do things, and I fuck up.
我搞砸了
I fucked up.
能原谅我吗？
Can you forgive me?
没关系的
Yeah. It’s all right.
能告诉他吗 我对不起他
Can you tell him I’m sorry…
所有做过的事情 我搞砸的事情
…for the things that I’ve done, that I fucked up?
对不起
I’m sorry. Um….
我要出去了 离开这里
I’m going to turn and walk away and not look at him…
不再见他 不再看他 我的厄尔 还有告诉他
…and not see my man, my Earl, and tell him, uh….
一切都好 我很好
Tell him, It’s okay. I’m okay.
告诉他 谢谢你的照顾
Tell him, Thank you for taking care….
我现在一切都很好
Whole thing is okay with me.
一切都好
And I know.
欢迎你们回来!
Welcome back from the break.
你们喜欢那些玉米片吗？- 喜欢
How did you guys like those nachos? – Yeah.
你们来这里不是为了什么狗屁玉米片的
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, you are not here for the fucking food.
你们来这里是来接受我的开导 我的启发
You are here for me to enlighten you, to edify you…
把你们送向现在看来并不遥远的未来
…to send you off into the now- not- so- unknown future…
好吧 跟着我继续
…so come along with me.
如何伪装得友善和同情
How to fake like you are nice and caring.
哦 我不需要麦克风
No, I don’t want a microphone.
注意 这个
Now, this….
这个 是很重要的一章 你将会看到
Ahem, this is quite an important chapter, as you will see.
但让我们先来个基本事实 让我们现在开始 伙计们
But let’s get down to brass tacks. Let’s get right down to it, boys.
男人是废物 – 什么？
Men are shit. – What?
什么？男人是废物
What? Men are shit.
她们不这样说吗？
Well, isn’t that what they say?
因为我们就会做坏事 不是吗？
Because we do bad things, don’t we?
我们老做一些可怕的 讨厌的 糟糕的事情
We do horrible, heinous, terrible things.
一些女人们决不会做的事情
Things that no woman would ever do.
不 女士们从不撒谎的
No, women, they don’t lie.
不 女士们从不欺骗的
No, women don’t cheat.
女士们从不操纵我们
Women don’t manipulate us.
但是看看真正的情景吧
But you see what I’m getting at. Oh, yeah, you see what I’m getting at.
生活中是这样的 可怜的小男孩
You see what society does? Boy. Little boys, it’s:
哦 女人啊!
Wow. Woman.
我们必须懂得道歉 对不起 – 算了
We are taught to apologize. I am sorry. – Give it up.
对不起 宝贝儿 真的对不起
I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry.
到底是什么
What is it that- ?
我们到底需要什么？
What is it, huh, that we need?
是她们的肉体么？她们的爱？
ls it their pussies? Their, uh, love?
妈妈不让我去踢球
Mommy wouldn’t let me play soccer…
爸爸 打了我 这就是我
…and Daddy, oh, he hit me, so that’s who I am.
因此我才会成为现在的我？
That’s why I do what I do? Heh.
混♥蛋♥ – 对
Fucking bullshit. – That’s right.
我对得起自己 我就是我 – 很对
I will not apologize for who I am. – Right on.
我想做什么是我自己的事! – 是
I will not apologize for what I need. – Yeah.
我想要什么是我自己的事! – 没错
I will not apologize for what I want! – Yeah!
现在拿出你们的蓝色小册子
Okay. Go to your blue booklets right now.
我要你们翻到18页
I want you to turn to page 18 in your blue booklets.
真♥他♥妈♥操蛋!
Fuck. This is fucking bullshit!
我要你们拿出白色手册
I want you to go to your white- Your white books.
是白色那本才对
That’s what I want you to go to.
翻到白册子的23页
Go to 23 in your white books.
如何伪装得让你看起来友善和富有同情心
How to fake like you are a nice and caring person.
菲尔 菲尔
Phil. Phil.
喂 过来 过来
Hey, come here. Come here.
嗯
Uh…
菲尔
…Phil…
我
… I’m….
我要说说话 – 好的
I’m gonna try talk. – Okay.
听着 我要和你
And I’m trying to….
说些东西 – 好
To say something. – Okay.
你认识莉莉么 菲尔？知道她么？
Do you know Lily, Phil? Do you know her?
不认识
No.
莉莉 – 不 不认识
Lily? – No, I don’t.
哦
Oh.
她是我的爱人 我的生命 一切
She’s my love, my life, love of it. Yeah.
上学的时候
In school….
我那时12岁 在六年级
I’m 12 years old, in school, in sixth grade.
我看见了她
I saw her.
我和她不在一间学校 不过
Yeah. I didn’t go to that school, but….
反正我们见面了
But, uh, we met.
我朋友认识她
Uh, my friend knew her.
我就问
I said, uh:
这女孩是谁？莉莉 怎么样？
What’s that girl? How’s that Lily?
哦 她很坏 她和好多人上过床
Oh, she’s bad. She sleeps with guys.
没错 就是这么说的 然后有一天
Yeah, he said this, but then, sometimes….
我们本来不在一起上学 对吧
And I went to another school, you see.
但到了
Uh, but then, uh….
高中最后是什么来着 叫什么？
When high school at an end, what’s that?
高中结束时候怎么说来着？- 毕业
What is that, uh, when it gets to the end? – Graduation.
不是 不是 年级 是多少年级来着？- 12年级
No, no, the grade. What grade are you in? – That’s 12th.
哦 对对
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
嗯 我就是那时转到她学校的
Yeah. So I went to her school for that grade.
就是12年级
That’s grade 12.
我们见面
And we meet.
她…
She was…
漂亮死了
…fucking like a doll.
对 像个瓷娃娃
Yeah. A beautiful porcelain doll.
那小屁♥股♥
And the hips.
刚微微翘起来那种 见过么？
The child- bearing hips, you know that?
太漂亮了
So beautiful.
然后我就骗她
And I cheated on her…
一次次骗她
…over and over and over again…
因为我觉得这才是男人
…because I wanted to be a man…
我不想让她长大
…and I didn’t want her to be a woman.
成为一个聪明 自♥由♥的人
You know, a smart, free person…
一个有主见的人
…who was something.
我很不喜欢那样
My fucking mind then.
太傻了我当时太傻了
So stupid, that fucking mind. Stupid.
上帝啊!
Jesus Christ.
我怎么会那样？当时怎么会那样想呢？
What would I think? Did I think for what I’d done?
她是我23年的妻子
She was my wife for 23 years
我却一次次地背叛她
…and I went behind her over and over.
我这个傻♥逼♥ 天天跑出去 干别的女人
Fucking asshole that I am, I’d go out and I’d fuck…
然后回家 然后躺到她身边
…and I’d come home and get in her bed…
然后对她说 “我爱你”
…and say, I love you.
她是杰克的妈妈
This is Jack’s mother.
他的母亲 莉莉
His mother, Lily.
他们两个
These two…
是我的
…that I had…
我却放弃了
…and I lost.
这就是我的忏悔
This is the regret that you make.
这就是