爱你，西蒙

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西蒙 西蒙
Simon. Simon.
-是 -我能吃你的薯条吗
– Yeah. – Can I get some fries?
可以 拿吧
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
告诉你们 奥克伍德猛虎队能进那么多球
I’m telling you, the Oakwood Tigers score so many goals
是因为他们有刮腿毛
because they shave their legs.
盖瑞特 我是不会刮腿毛的
Garrett, I’m not gonna shave my legs.
这能让他们踢球时阻力更小
It makes their kicks more aerodynamic.
我们多做些立卧撑就行了
We can just do extra burpees, man.
随便吧 布拉姆
Whatever, Bram.
我刚在我沙拉里发现一个美甲贴片
Guys, I just found a press-on nail in my salad.
黛比
Debbie.
学校里怎么没有信♥号♥♥
Why is there no cell reception at this school?
气死人
I swear to God.
西蒙呀西蒙
Simonay, Simonay.
你在干什么 走廊里禁止发短♥信♥
What are you doing? You can’t text in the halls.
我说过多少次了
How many times have I told you that?
不能让学生们忙着上约炮软件
I can’t have all my students tindering it up.
那是我的领域
That’s my department.
对
Right.
还真的是呢
It actually is.
我今晚要跟软件上认识的美女约会
I got a really hot date on Tinder tonight.
她很可爱
She is cute!
“副校长怎么能去约会 好恶心”
“Ew! Vice principals can’t go on dates. That’s gross.”
我们也是普通人 西蒙
We’re people too, Simon.
我们喜欢外出 喜欢享乐
We like to go out. We like to have a good time.
喜欢滚床单 这没什么大不了
We like to have sex. That’s not a big deal, right?
是的 没什么
Yeah, no. No biggie at all.
事实上 我完全把你当普通人看待
Actually. You know, I totally see you as a person.
-谢谢 我很感激 -嗯
– Thank you. I appreciate that. – Yeah.
-非常感谢 -不客气
– Thank you very much. – You’re welcome.
-真的 -嗯 好
– Seriously. – Yeah. Yeah.
但能把电♥话♥还给我吗
Could I just get my phone though?
不行 先由我保管
No. Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to keep it
直到排练完音乐剧
until after play practice.
但排练结束后
But you will get your precious
就把你的宝贝还给你 我保证
after play practice, okay? I promise.
音乐剧排练得怎么样了
So how’s play practice going?
-很好 挺… -奥布莱特老师怎么样
– Great. Yeah, it’s… – How’s Ms. Albright?
她挺好的
She’s good.
她挺好 她都不喜欢男人
She’s good? She doesn’t like men.
好吧
Okay.
那不是真正的鼓掌 我的手都累了
Those aren’t actual claps. My hands are tired!
好吧
Okay! All right.
刚才的表现…
That was…
卡尔 帮帮我 刚才…
Cal, help me. That was…
刚才是个好开始
That was a start?
刚才是个好开始 就是这样
That was a start! Is what it was.
是个好开始
That was a start.
沃斯老师告诉我所有学生
You know, when Mr. Worth told me that no student,
不管有没有天分
regardless of talent…
都得参演我的剧时 我有过怀疑
…was to be left out of my production, I had my doubts.
是真的
Yes, I did.
是的
Yeah.
就这样 我说完了
That’s it. That’s my whole speech.
奥布莱特老师
Ms. Albright.
你好 刚才那是我们舞台有史以来
Hi. That was the biggest train wreck
最车祸的表演
our stage has ever seen.
而且罗伯和布里安娜
And Rob and Brianne
整首歌♥都在干蹭
were practically dry humping the whole song.
我看到了
Oh, I saw.
到庆功派对时再亲 好吗
Save the kissing for the cast party. All right?
这是战争 你们是纳粹 再愤怒一点
This is war. You’re Nazis. Okay? More anger.
苏拉杰 别再把小号♥当成你鸡鸡抚弄了
Suraj, stop pretending that trumpet is your penis!
好样的
My boy.
那是租来的
It is a rental.
我在《狮子王》当过临演
I was an extra in The Lion King,
现在竟然沦落至此
and this is where I am.
现在几点
Hey. What time is it?
你十分钟前才问过 走开
Ten minutes since the last time you asked. Go.
一 二 三 四
One! Two! Three! Four!
我要宰了你
I will kill you.
-沃斯老师 -还好吗 老弟
– Mr. Worth. – Hey, what’s up, my brother?
我来取回我的手♥机♥
Hey, just here for my phone.
当然了 当然了
Oh, of course you are. Of course you are.
没手♥机♥的感觉如何
How’d you enjoy being unplugged?
非常棒
It was great.
-很棒 对吧 -是的
– Great, right? – Yeah.
这不是生活 这是沉迷手♥机♥
This isn’t life, man. This is plugged.
这是远离手♥机♥
This is unplugged.
沉迷 远离
Plugged. Unplugged.
西蒙 我知道我对你很严厉 确实如此
All right, Simon, I know that I’m hard on you. I really do.
但这都是因为我在你身上看到我的影子
But it’s only ’cause I really see myself in you.
这我不太确定
Uh… You know, I don’t know if I’d say that.
不 我能看到 非常明显
No, I see it, it’s obvious. It’s obvious.
-我知道你有很多烦恼 -嗯
– I know there’s a lot going on there, man. – Yup.
你一定有很多疑问
And I bet you got a lot of questions.
你有什么想对我说的吗
Is there something you wanna say to me?
-没有 -你知道我的政策 是什么
– No. – You know my policy. What does it say?
-“打开大门 打开耳朵” -“打开大门 打开耳朵”
– “Open door. Open ears.” – “Open door. Open ears.”
你没什么要说的吗
There’s nothing you want to say?
-没有 -你确定吗
– Nope. – You sure?
-确定 -好吧
– Yeah. – Okay.
-但这牌子很棒 -谢谢
– It’s a great sign though. – Thank you.
谢谢你 开车时不要发短♥信♥
Thank you. Now don’t text and drive.
我的猫就是这样被撞死的
That’s how my cat got murdered.
好的
Okay.
逗你的啦 我没养猫 我有哮喘
I’m just kidding. I don’t have cats. I got asthma.
收到”蓝绿118″来信
秘密 是吗
A secret, huh?
跟我的秘密一样吗
Is it the same as my secret?
如果是的话 你何时知道的
If it is, when did you know?
你告诉过别人吗 小蓝
Have you told anyone? Blue.
行了
Okay.
不 小蓝 我没告诉过任何人
No, Blue. I haven’t told anyone.
老实说 我也无法解释为什么
And, honestly, I can’t even really explain why.
女孩想要基本享乐权利
女性权利也是人♥权♥
我内心深处知道我家人不会介意
Deep down, I know my family would be fine with it.
什么词跟”男权社会”押韵
Hey, what rhymes with “Patriarchy”?
打倒男权涩会
但上面写的是”男权涩会”
That says “Patriachy” though.
该死
Oh, shit.
我妈非常开明
My mom’s about as liberal as they come.
我爸也不是大男子主义的人
And my dad isn’t exactly the macho type.
在溪木镇出柜的同性恋
I mean, Creekwood’s resident out-gay kid
好像也过得挺好
seems to be doing just fine.
伊森出柜时 根本没人在意
When Ethan came out, no one even cared.
我有件事要告诉你们
Guys, I have something to tell you.
我是同性恋
I’m gay.
真的吗 太棒了 伊森
Wow, really? That’s really great, Ethan.
天啊 不可能
Oh, my God. No way.
你居然是同志 我完全没看出来
Oh, my God, you are? I had no idea.
实在太意外了
What a complete surprise!
太过了 克莱尔
Too much, Claire.
至于我如何得知自己是同性恋
As for how I knew I was gay,
都是从许多小事中发现的
it was a bunch of little things.
比如我反复做的
Like this one recurring dream
关于丹尼尔·拉德克利夫的梦
I kept having about Daniel Radcliffe.
之后发展到有一个月每晚都做这个梦
And then proceeded to have every night for a month.
我疯狂迷恋”Panic! At the Disco”乐队
I was obsessed with Panic! At the Disco.
我受不了了 他好帅 太帅了
I can’t. He’s so cute. He’s so cute.
拜托 他就像耶稣和巧克力一样