爱你，西蒙

Me! Me! Me took your phones now! You can get ’em at my office!
真不敢相信我们两周后要脱稿演出
I can’t believe we have to be off book, in like, two weeks.
说真的 莎莉·鲍尔斯总逼逼个不停
Seriously, Sally Bowles never shuts the eff up.
难道你不希望自己像我一样平庸吗
Don’t you wish you were talentless like me?
来 哥教你几招
Here. Let me show you a thing or two.
因为那样你就可以过得很轻松
Because then you could just be living the easy life
当公♥司♥的无名小职员
as company member number eight.
哎哟哟
Well, well, well…
这不是我的同剧演员吗
If it isn’t my fellow thespians.
你好 马丁
Hey, Martin.
好啊 斯皮尔 你好 艾比
Hey, Spier. Hey, Abby.
你好
Hi.
很期待我们等会一起排练
Excited to rehearse with you later.
有个趣事
Hey, uh, so, fun fact.
你知道《歌♥厅》其实改编自
You know that Cabaret was actually based off
戏剧《我是摄影机》吗
a play called I Am Camera?
而《我是摄影机》改编自
Then I Am a Camera was based off
一本叫《别了 柏林》的小说
this novel called Goodbye to Berlin.
《别了 柏林》又改编自
And Goodbye to Berlin was actually based off
作者克里斯多福·伊舍伍早年在柏林的生活
Christopher Isherwood’s early years in Berlin.
好棒 我要去教室了
That’s awesome. I have homeroom.
好吧
Yeah. All right.
我想她觉得那很有意思
Well, I think she found that interesting.
再见 马丁
Bye, Martin.
再见 大个子
Bye, big boy.
苏拉杰 现在
Suraj! Now.
来吧 你知道该怎么做
Come on. You know the drill.
我有个好主意 看《情事》怎么样
I’ve had an inspiration. How about The Affair?
不行 我们不能全家一起看《情事》
No. No. We cannot watch The Affair as a family.
-为什么 -因为里面超多性♥爱♥镜头
– Why not? – Because it’s all about sex.
是啊 上帝禁止我们看别人做♥爱♥
Oh, well, God forbid we should watch people make love.
老天
Oh, God.
天啊 你们真压抑
Oh, my God. You guys are so repressed.
别给我们做心理治疗 我们不是你的病人
Don’t therapize us, okay? We are not your patients.
-我们是你的家人 -没错
– We’re your family. – That’s true.
如果你是我的病人 你人缘会更好
If you were my patients, you’d be much more well-adjusted.
-损得漂亮 宝贝 -谢谢
– Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby. – Thank you.
-她说中了 -对了
– She got you. – You know what?
我们没看上周那集真人秀《单身汉》
We didn’t see last week’s episode of The Bachelor.
对 那家伙怎么会变成单身汉
Yeah, how did that guy even become the bachelor?
为什么这么说
Why?
他很明显是基佬
Well, he’s clearly gay.
-他才不是 -真的吗
– No, he’s not. – Really?
-他那么帅 -那次约会
– He’s handsome. – That date,
他带女生去调配专属香水的地方
where he took the girl to the “Make your own perfume” place?
爸爸
Dad!
-约会都是制♥作♥人安排的 -他那么娘
– The producers plan those dates. – He is so fruity.
他超娘的
He’s so fruity.
他自己就是一出同志游♥行♥ 别开玩笑了
He’s a one-man pride parade. Are you kidding me?
-他和男主持人的火花 -别说了
– He has more chemistry – Just stop it.
比和其他女生还多
with Chris Harrison, than any of those girls.
这里结束后 我有东西要给你看
After this, I gotta show you something.
好吗 我们看《美国谍梦》
Okay? Let’s watch The Americans.
每一集我们都一起看的
Every single episode, you here next to me.
你妈决定我们今年自己制♥作♥
So your mother decided that we should make
给对方的结婚周年礼物
each other anniversary presents this year.
这样礼物是发自内心的 之类的屁话
You know, so they came from the heart, or some crap.
总之 我决定做出这个礼物
Anyway, I decided to come up with this bad boy.
你看
Look at this.
为您呈现 杰克·斯皮尔的作品
I present to you, a Jack Spier production.
艾米丽和杰克20周年纪念日
等一下
Wait, wait.
你看
Look at that!
太棒了
Oh, it’s so good.
看这个 等等 等等
Look at this. Wait, wait, wait.
对 好的
Yup. Okay.
你干什…
What are you…
听着 这是你们20周年纪念日
Look, this is your 20th anniversary,
所以我要对你说实话
so I’m gonna be super real with you right now.
这看起来像是四年级小学生做的
This looks like a fourth grader made it.
还不是全班最聪明的四年级生
And not even the smartest fourth grader in the class.
只是个普通水平的四年级生
Just, like, a deeply average fourth grader.
你在说什么 这棒极了
What are you talking about? This is amazing.
我有淡入淡出效果
I got fade-ins. I got dissolves.
-多好看啊 -起来一下
– This is beautiful. – Get up for a second.
我帮你弄 相信我
I’ll help you. Trust me.
我们能做得很好 只需加入…
We can make this good. We just gotta put in…
一些家庭录像
you know, some home video.
或者加入些更好的音乐
Maybe put in some better music.
“更好的音乐” 这首歌♥在我们年轻时可火了
“Better music”? This was huge when we were young.
演员比尔·科斯比当年也很火
Yeah. So was Bill Cosby.
Waterloo Sunset – The Kinks
你看到最新八卦了吗
Have you seen the new post?
没有 是什么 天啊
No. What? Oh, my God.
我再也不会进那个游泳池了
You know, I’m never getting back in that pool again.
不 是关于学校那个深柜学生
Wait, no. About the closeted gay kid at school.
什么
What?
在”溪木镇树洞”上
Yeah, it’s on Creek Secrets.
你觉得是谁
Who do you think it is?
我猜一定是
I bet it’s that sophomore
戴无框眼镜那个高二生 我有预感
with the rimless glasses. I get a vibe.
其实
Actually.
说不定是帕克·奥马利
Maybe it’s Parker O’Malley.
我听说他超迷《悲惨世界》
I’ve heard he’s, like, obsessed with Les Mis.
天啊 我得挂了
Oh, gosh. Jeez. I gotta go.
比伯刚拉屎在地上了
Bieber just took a dump on the floor.
小比
Aw, Beebs.
-喂它吃点米饭… -我等会打给你
– Feed him some rice… – Can I call you back?
“有时 我觉得自己被困在摩天轮上
“Sometimes, I feel like I’m stuck on a Ferris wheel.
前一分钟我还在世界之巅
One minute I’m on top of the world,
下一分钟 我就跌入谷底
and the next, I’m at rock bottom.
反反复复 整天如此
Over and over, all day long.
因为大部分时候 我的生活都很美好
Because a lot of my life is great,
但没人知道我是同性恋
but nobody knows I’m gay.
小蓝”
Blue.”
回复邮件
选择用户名
透过我的窗口1@gmail.com[出自歌♥词]
主题 你好
小蓝 好的
Blue. Okay.
亲爱的小蓝 我跟你一样
Dear Blue, I’m just like you.
总体来说 我的人生很平常
For the most part, my life is totally normal.
我爸是帅气逼人的四分卫
My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback
他娶了性感的毕业生代表
who married the hot valedictorian.
高中还不是他们的人生巅峰
And no, they didn’t peak in high school.
我有个我挺喜欢的妹妹
I have a sister I actually like.
但我不会告诉她
Not that I’d ever tell her that.
然后是我们的朋友们
And then, there’s my friends.
我们做朋友会一起做的事 喝超多…
We do everything friends do. We drink way too much…
就像我说的 我跟你一样
So, like I said, I’m just like you.
我的人生再平常不过
I have a totally, perfectly normal life.
除了我有一个大秘密
Except I have one huge-ass secret.
雅克
Jacques.
发送
早上好
Hey. Morning.
欢迎你使用谷歌♥邮箱
没回信
Nothin’.
我们在讨论的是数学
Math is what we’re talking about.
有谁能回答 如何得出黑板上
Can anyone answer for me how we find the value
Dy除以Dx的值是多少
of “D-y by d-x” that I have written up on the board?
有谁想… 好的 西蒙
Does anyone want to… Yes! Simon.
我能去洗手间吗
Can I go to the bathroom?
可以 去吧
Sure, it’s fine.
谢谢
Thanks.
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