爱你，西蒙

我们吃了灌汤包
Yeah, uh, we got soup dumplings.
是我给你推荐的那家店吗
That dumpling place I told you about?
对
Yeah.
也许你可以跟马丁一起去
You know, maybe you could go with Martin.
我为什么要跟马丁一起去
Why would I go with Martin?
全体起立 唱国歌♥
Please stand for the national anthem.
谨此向所有难民致敬
This goes out to all the refugees.
感谢我的声乐指导 莫妮卡·路易斯
And my vocal coach, Monica Lewis.
你到底要干什么
What the hell are you doing?
抱歉 大家好
Sorry. Hi.
你们好 抱歉打断大家
Hi, everyone. Uh, sorry to interrupt.
为什么要打断国歌♥
Why are we interrupting the national anthem?
我有话要说
But I have something to say…
我的话比国歌♥要稍微重要一点
that’s a little more important than the national anthem.
无意冒犯 美国
No offense, America.
艾比盖尔·凯瑟琳·苏索
Abigail Katherine Susso…
你转来溪木镇高中
when you transferred to Creekwood High School,
是短短的三个半月前
just a short three and a half months ago,
你不仅走进了一所新学校
you not only transferred into a new school,
也走进了一颗心
you transferred your way into a new heart
就是我的心 在这里
belonging to me. My heart. Right here.
不管是当你的啤酒乒乓搭档
And whether it was being your partner in pong,
还是你的松饼屋战士
or your Waffle House warrior,
我都很珍惜…
I have cherished…
跟你共度的135300分钟
the 135,300 minutes that we’ve spent together.
抱歉
Oh, I’m sorry.
是135301分钟
135,301 minutes.
我知道你如此聪慧 有才
And I know that you’re this smart, talented
堪称完美
perfect creature.
而我只是个穿着熊服
And, uh, I’m just a sweaty schlub
浑身汗渍的傻瓜
in a bear costume.
但就像那首歌♥唱的一样
But like old Bogie used to say,
“这世界多姿多彩”
it’s a “Crazy mixed-up world.”
所以艾比
So, Abby,
言归正传
without further ado…
你愿意跟我约会吗
will you go out with me?
她那么性感 你配不上 傻♥逼♥
She’s too hot for you, assface!
抱歉 借过
Excuse me. Sorry.
答应他吧 答应他
Just say yes. Say yes.
马丁
Martin…
真的对不起
I am so sorry.
我对你没那种感觉
I don’t feel that way about you.
真的吗
You don’t?
对
No.
但我很喜欢和你一起玩
But I really like hanging out with you
也许我们以后还可以做朋友
and I don’t know, maybe we could still be friends, you know?
那些是鸽子吗
Are those doves?
不要 等等 苏拉杰
No, no, hey, hey! Suraj!
别放了 她拒绝了 不要
Hey! No, no! She said no! No, don’t.
你不是说她喜欢他吗
Yo, I thought you said she liked him.
这不是我想看到的飞鸽仪式
Not the ceremonious dove launch I was hoping for.
不过能放飞它们还是挺开心的
But still uplifting to free some birds.
是啊
Yeah.
好了
Okay, uh…
享受比赛吧
Enjoy the game.
你做得好 马丁 非常厉害
Nice try, Martin! And way to go, Martin!
最起码努力过了 对吧
You gave it a shot! Right?
太糟糕了
That was terrible.
别担心 几周后大家就会忘记了
Don’t worry, people will get over it in a few weeks.
小伙失恋了
我笑得停不下来
猛熊出击
史诗级失败
我是唐纳德·特朗普
This is Donald J. Trump.
马丁·艾迪森现在不方便接电♥话♥
Martin Addison can’t come to the phone right now.
马丁 是我 西蒙
Hey, Martin, it’s Simon. Again.
我只是想看看你还好吗
Um, look, I wanna make sure you’re doing all right.
我知道你现在心里不好受
I know it’s been tough since, uh…
毕竟发生了那样的事 听我说
Well, you know since when. Um, listen. Just…
给我回个电♥话♥吧 好吗
Just give me a call back, okay?
我想知道你是否还好
I just wanna make sure you’re okay.
你在里面干什么呢
Hey! What you doin’ in there?
搞什么
Really?
来帮我一起装饰 先解开这个
I need you to help me decorate. Untangle these for me, will ya?
你这样不好 我马上下去
This is not cool. I’ll be down in a minute, okay?
-怎么不好 -我这就下去
– What’s not cool? – I’ll be down in a minute.
你不该踩着梯子站在我窗外
The fact that you’re on a ladder next to my room!
我还能看见你
I can still clearly see you.
这下看不见了 好吧 圣诞快乐
All right, there you go. Okay. Merry Christmas.
雅克
Jacques,
我在喝蛋奶酒 收拾行李
I’m drinking eggnog and packing
准备去我爸在雷本湖的小屋住
to go to my dad’s cabin on Lake Rabun.
我确定在”荒山野岭”的维基主页上
I’m pretty sure there’s a photo of it
肯定有那里的照片
on the Wikipedia page for “Middle of nowhere.”
荒山野岭
Middle of nowhere.
我要去在荒山野岭的度假屋了
I’m going to an unheated vacation house
而且还没有暖气
in the middle of nowhere.
我♥操♥
Oh, shit.
那里几乎没有电
There’s barely electricity
而且绝对没有手♥机♥信♥号♥♥
and definitely no cell service
所以短期内这是我最后一封邮件了
so this will be my last email for a while.
绝对是此生难忘的成年礼
It should be a real rite of passage.
父亲和基佬儿子假装喜欢钓鱼
A dad and his gay son pretending they like
努力找话题尬聊
to fish and trying to find things to talk about.
这两周没有你绝对会很难熬
It’s gonna to be an excruciating two weeks
雅克 爱你的 小蓝
without you, Jacques. Love, Blue.
听起来你很需要一些好音乐
Sounds like you’re gonna need some good music.
我给你发一张歌♥单
So I’m sending a list of the seven best
史上最赞的七首圣诞曲目
Christmas songs of all time.
当然包括大卫·鲍伊的
Of course it includes David Bowie’s
《小鼓手》
“Little Drummer Boy,”
以及斯摩基·罗宾逊和奇迹乐队的
and Smokey Robinson & The Miracles’
《每天都是圣诞节》
“Christmas Everyday,”
但你最需要的一首歌♥是
but the number one song you’re gonna need,
相信我 虽然这话听起来
and trust me, I know this sounds
有点矫情…
a little bit twee…
Someday at Christmas – Jackson 5
莉亚
小西 你看了吗
Si, have you seen it?
看什么
Seen what?
溪木镇树洞
CreekSecrets.
你赶紧去电脑上看
You need to look at your computer right away.
亲爱的溪木镇同学们
Dear fellow Creekwood students,
西蒙·斯皮尔有一位神秘男笔友
Simon Spier has a secret male pen pal.
因为他是同性恋
Because he’s gay.
感兴趣的人请直接联♥系♥他
Interested parties may contact him directly
沟通肛♥交♥性♥爱♥的具体细节
to discuss arrangements for butt sex.
女士们不必申请
Ladies need not apply.
我们应该多聊聊这个
We should all probably be talking about this
别再说马丁·艾迪森返校节大崩溃了
instead of Martin Addison’s homecoming debacle
其实仔细想想 他的举动
which was actually kind of sweet,
还是挺甜蜜和浪漫的
and romantic, if you think about it.
佚名
Sincerely, Anonymous.
小西 你看了吗
Si, have you read it?
先不说了
I can’t talk right now.
-不要 小西 等等 -我先挂了
– No. Si, wait! – I gotta go.
小西
Si?
我看到了
I saw it.
我已经举报了 他们会删除的
I already reported it. They’re gonna take it down.
太晚了 已经有人看过了
It’s too late. No, there’s people who’ve already seen it, so…
无所谓了
it doesn’t really matter.
是真的
It’s true.
我是同性恋
I’m gay.