爱你，罗茜

没错 艾力克斯
Yes, Alex!
我知道我们不是正式地谈话
I know we’re not officially talking,
但是我需人帮我绑领结
but I need help with my tie.
有那么一分钟 我想你可能
For a minute there, I thought you might be
爱上我了或什么呢
in love with me or something.
艾力克斯 你在我心永远都是那个
Alex, you will forever be the boy
用我最爱的派对服装去擦
who wiped bogeys on my favorite
高尔夫球的男孩 好吗
party dress, okay?
不要自恋了
Don’t flatter yourself.
好耶
Good.
我知道异性朋友关系
I know boy-girl friendships
有时候也可以变得复杂
can be quite complicated sometimes,
但是你知道的 我永远在这 如果你需要人讲讲话的话
but you know I’m always here if you need to talk.
你觉得如何
What do you think?
胸部看起来自然就好 还是要集中托高
Boobsau naturel or pushed up?
集中或自然
In? Or out?
那个 我想 我想那取决于
Well, uh, I mean, it depends.
它是为了跳舞或它是为了
Is it for dancing, or is it, um…
谁知道呢
Who knows?
所以 这个工具男跟你约在哪
So, where is this tool meant to be meeting you?
你讲的真讨厌 我想应该在前面吧
You’re so rude! Um, I think at the front.
对吧
Uh, yes…
美女 正妹
Hey, gorgeous.
回头见
See ya!
傻子
Wanker.
好吧
Okay.
干
Fuck!
它只是
Oh, just…
-你之前曾经干过 -当然 你有吗
-You have done this before? -Yeah. Haven’t you?
它就像刷牙一样轻松
It’s like brushing my teeth.
妈的
Ahhh! Bollocks!
-它看起来 让我帮你开好吗 -不 别管了
-That’s… Look, let me help you… -No, leave it!
好 我打开了
Okay, I’ve got it. Fuck! Ouch.
好勒 快点上吧 快点快点 好勒
Okay, quick! Quick, okay.
我要上了 好勒 快上罗
Here we go! Okay, quick!
干好爽
Sweet Jesus!
我知道 我知道
I know. I know.
好耶
Okay.
-套套勒 -什么
-Where is it? -What?
-套套啊 -我不知道啊
-The thing. -I don’t know.
说真的 格雷格 它在哪
Seriously, Greg, where is it?
它在你那啊
You had it!
看起来 它不可能就这样消失啊
Look, it can’t have just disappeared!
天啊 挫屎了
Oh, God! Oh, shit!
罗茜 你找到它没
Rosie? Have you found it?
你需不需要我帮你看一下
Do you want me to have a look for you?
-真的 -当然 你趴下来我帮你找
-Really? -Yeah, go on all fours.
滚出去别烦我
Bugger off!
-罗茜 -艾力克斯 太好了 你在哪
-Rosie! -Alex! Thank God! Where are you?
我正冲出去
I’m on my way out!
不 等等 你一定要帮帮我
No, wait, you’ve got to help me,
我发生了一点意外
there’s been an accident!
什么
Christ, what?
不 不 不 抱歉 没事
No, no, no, sorry, no,
我就是说没事的意思 什么事都没有
that’s what I meant. Everything’s fine.
天哪 你吓到我了
Jesus, you scared me!
我是说 有些意外发生了 跟那个工具男有关
I mean, there was an accident, um, with the thingy
就是那个格雷格 你知道
with Greg, you know?
-这样的事常发生 罗茜 -不 不 艾力克斯
-Well, that happens, Rosie! -No, no, Alex.
发生了我需要立刻解决的事你懂吗 艾力克斯
Something that I need to figure out right now, Alex.
我需要取出它
I need to get rid of it.
它不见了 然后我找不到它又不知道要怎么做
It got lost and I can’t find it and I don’t know what to do.
你讲的我完全听不懂啊 罗茜
You’re not making any sense, Rosie!
你能不能等一下再讲这些
Can we just talk about this later?
不要啊 艾力克斯 拜托
No, Alex, please!
好吧 那你要讲的非常清楚 准确
Okay, you need to be really clear and really precise!
好吧
Okay!
保险套掉下来卡在我阴♥道♥里
The condom came off inside my vagina
然后现在我不知道它在哪里
and at present I’m unable to locate it!
这比我需要知道的多多了
That’s way more information than I needed.
嗨 我是迪克医生
Hi. I’m Dick.
当然 你当然是
Of course, you are.
好勒
Okay.
好吧那你是哪种体♥位♥前后 背后
Is it, um, front bottom or back?
你以为我是做什么的
What do you think I am?
抱歉 我并没有说你是一个贱什么或者妓什么
Sorry. I wasn’t suggesting you’re a slag or anything.
这里没有女性护士吗
Isn’t there a female nurse?
很抱歉 这里就我啦
I’m afraid I’m all you’ve got.
那真是我最想死的一刻
That was one of the most embarrassing
在这悲惨人生之中
moments of my entire pathetic existence.
你知道吗
You know what?
让我们离开这鬼地方
Let’s get out of here.
Dino’s应该还开着吧
Dino’s should still be open.
我是在说像波士顿 麻萨诸塞州
I was thinking more Boston, Massachusetts.
你想我应该逃离这国家
Oh, you think I should flee the country?
我很认真
I’m serious.
这地方就是个死路
This place is a dead end,
我们讲好几年了
we’ve been saying it for years.
我爸希望我可以试试哈佛的奖学金
And, uh, my dad wants me to try for a scholarship at Harvard.
你认真
You are serious.
它是世上最好的医学院之一
It’s one of the best medical schools in the world.
然后波士顿大学有
And Boston College happens to have
非常不错的旅馆经营课程
a really great hotel management course.
那是你想要去做的 不是吗
That is what you want to do, isn’t it?
你不可以去
You can’t!
我是说 谁帮你洗衣物
I mean, who’ll do your washing?
你在那会饿死的 这太扯了
You’ll never eat! It’s ridiculous!
美国有食物的 妈
They have food in America, Mom,
然后我想那边也有洗衣机的
and I’m guessing washing machines.
它太远了
It’s so far away!
帮忙说句话啊 丹尼斯
I mean, talk to her, Dennis!
我行的 我来多远就能获得多少啊
It works for me. I mean, this is as far as I got.
我知道 但是妈你的就只是你的懂吗
I know, but Mom’s just being Mom.
它将会非常有趣的 而且它将会
It would be so much fun, and it would be…
你曾想要更多吗 老爸
Did you ever want more, Dad?
你知道奶奶最喜欢说的一句话是什么吗
Do you know what your Gran’s favorite phrase was?
“不是我们喜欢就好”
“Not for the likes of us.”
当你告诉我们你的计划
When you told us of your plan,
它是第一个进入我脑海中的想法
it was the first thing that popped into my head.
我仍然可以听到她在房♥间讲这句话的声音
I could hear her voice in the room saying it.
我不希望这句话的声音在你脑袋里 永远
I don’t want that voice in your head, ever.
这里啦 让我来
Here, let me.
我希望有一天可以拥有自己的旅馆
I want my own hotel one day.
这样想会不会很疯狂啊
Is it crazy to think like that?
我已经这样想18年了
I’ve been winging it with you for 18 years,
假装我是那个经营人
pretending I was the one in charge.
你很棒的 罗茜
You’re amazing, Rosie.
没什么是你办不到的
There’s nothing you can’t do,
假如你全心去做的话
if you put your mind to it.
但是我要是跑去波士顿 妈就永远不跟我讲话了耶
But if I go to Boston, Mom will never speak to me again.
但是 如果你不去 那我就不跟你讲话
Well, if you don’t go, I won’t.
选择权在你
The choice is yours.
丹尼斯
Dennis!
顺便帮我一个忙
And do me a favor.
回来并且取得那笨蛋的职位
Come back and take that prick’s job.
晚上好
Good evening!
亲爱的邓恩小姐 恭喜你
“Dear Miss Dunne, congratulations!”
我们很高兴通知您录取波士顿大学
“We are pleased to offer you a seat at Boston University!”
天啊 天啊 怎么会 我的天啊
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No way! Oh, my God!
克莱尔 艾力克斯在吗
Oh, hey, Clare, is Alex in?