相思成灾（2006）

So does my boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend.
我男朋友也是这样觉得 我前男友
Do you want to get a drink?
你想去喝一杯吗
There’s this amazing place near here.
这附近有个非常棒的地方
Tonight’s South American night.
今晚主题是南美之夜
OK. But only because I feel sorry for myself,
好啊 不过只是因为我觉得很可悲
and I know you must feel guilty.
还有我知道你一定觉得很愧疚
I really appreciate you seeing me on such short notice.
我非常感谢你仓促之下还愿意见我
Finlay thinks the world of you.
芬利对你有很高的评价
And I think THE WORLD of Finlay!
我对芬利有更高的评价
Yes, well…
原来如此
He said you really sorted him out on the relationship front.
他说你真的在感情问题上帮了他不少
And I could certainly use some help there.
这也是我正需要的
You see I’ve never actually been in a relationship
你看我从来没有真的恋爱过
except in my own head.
除了在我自己的想象中
And how long did that last?
那样的恋爱能维持了多久
What? The relationship in your head.
什么 你想象中的恋爱
No. I mean, it’s an ongoing problem.
不是 我的意思是 一直没停过
They only last in my head. For varying amounts of time.
只存在于我脑子里 有过很多段 长短不一
So you have a problem with monogamy?
也就是说 你不够专情
No, no that. No, that’s not my problem.
没有 不是那样 不是这个问题
Denial is not a river in Egypt!
第纳尔可不仅是一条河
Not a river in Egypt. D’you see what I did there?
不仅是一条河 你听懂了吗
Just that’s a little therapist joke. Doesn’t always work.
这是个心理学笑话 不是每个人都懂
OK, right. Paul? Peter.
好吧 保尔 彼得
Sorry? Peter.
什么 彼得
Peter. Peter.
彼得 彼得
Yes, it is. You’re absolutely right. Peter.
是的 你完全正确 彼得
That’s a good start. Well done you!
这是个好的开始 干的不错
OK, Peter, I think I can help you.
很好 彼得 我想我能帮你
You do? I do.
你可以 我可以
I think you are stuck in that pre relationship
我想你还停留在感情酝酿期
moment of infatuation and you need to be reminded
也就是热恋期 你要记住
that a real relationship has many, many, many more stages.
一段真正的感情是有许多阶段的
Stages. I like that.
阶段 我喜欢
Relationships are best measured by farting.
衡量感情的阶段 最好用放屁来作对比
Excuse me?
你说什么
The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting.
感情的不同阶段能用放屁来阐述
Stage 1 is the conspiracy of silence.
第一阶段 不作为阶段
This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend
这一阶段两方面都伪装得很好
that they have no bodily waste.
假装他们没有放屁
This illusion is very quickly shattered
而这一局面很快会被某人的一句
by that first shy ‘ooh did you fart?’
“你放屁了吗”所打破
followed by the sheepish admission of truth.
然后就是坦诚相告
This heralds a period of deeper intimacy.
这预示着更亲密的阶段来临
A period I like to call the ‘fart honeymoon’.
这阶段我喜欢称它为”屁的蜜月”
Where both parties find each other’s gas just the cutest thing in the world.
双方都觉得对方的屁是世界上最可爱的东西
But of course no honeymoon can last forever.
当然蜜月期是短暂的
And so we reach the critical fork in the fart.
接下来就到了至关重要的岔路口
Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass,
要么放屁已经不再好笑或是尴尬
thereby signifying true love or else,
表明两人真正相爱了
it begins to annoy and disgust.
要么放屁变得令人恶心厌烦
Thereby symbolizing all that is blocked
表明两人的爱情
and rancid in the formerly beloved.
已经走到了尽头
Do you see what I’m getting at?
你明白我在说什么吗
Peter? Peter?
彼得 彼得
Earth to Peter?
看着我 彼得
What? Sorry I’m late.
什么 对不起我迟到了
I was talking to Tony.
我刚刚在和托尼通电♥话♥
Who’s Tony?
谁是托尼
You know. Tony. From the phone company.
你知道的 电♥信♥公♥司♥的那个托尼
You’re seeing your obscene phone caller?
你在和你的电♥话♥追踪狂见面吗
Of course I’m not ‘seeing him’, darling.
我当然没和他”见面”
We’re having a strictly phone-based relationship.
我们的关系仅限于电♥话♥交流
So what’s going on?
怎么样
Finlay thinks I should see his therapist.
芬利觉得我该去看他的心理医生
Finlay sees a therapist?
芬利在看心理医生
Yeah, some woman he says is really good with relationships.
是啊 一个据说很厉害的女人
Maybe I should see her.
我也应该去看看
I think I need to get in touch with my inner child.
我该和我的内在小孩谈谈了
Talullah, if you get in touch with your inner child
塔鲁拉 如果你想和内在小孩谈谈
you’re going to need an inner nanny.
你就需要一个内在保姆了
Oh, I don’t trust nannies. They’re all whores!
我不相信保姆 她们都是婊♥子♥
What about Mary Poppins?
那玛丽·波平斯呢
Slut!
荡♥妇♥
What are you talking about?
怎么可能
She left the convent, married Christopher Plummer,
她离开修道院 嫁给了克里斯托弗·普拉莫
and then took all his children up the Alps.
还把他的孩子都带到了阿尔卑斯山地区
Speaking of The Sound of Music, where’s Jacks?
说起音乐之声 阿杰在哪儿
The riots completely shut down Buenos Aires.
暴♥动♥让整个布宜诺斯艾利斯陷入混乱
It was unbelievable!
太可怕了
The whole country, rich, poor, young, old,
整个国家 穷♥人♥富人 男女老少
everyone for this one moment, came together.
在那一刻 所有人都团结在了一起
These are incredible! The moment was incredible.
这太棒了 那一刻真是很棒
You captured the moment.
你抓住了那一刻
My friend Finlay owns an art gallery.
我朋友芬利有个画廊
I’d love to show these to him.
我想拿给他看
That’s very kind of you but.. Very kind of me? What?.
太感谢你了但是 感谢我 为什么
You think you’re some kind of charity case?
你觉得我是在施舍你吗
No, but…I just… Don’t tell me you’re afraid.
不 但我觉得 别告诉我你怕了
I’m afraid you’re drunk.
我怕你喝醉了
Because I think you’re talented?
因为我称赞你有才华
Because you’ve had 3 caiperinhas.
因为你喝了三杯鸡尾酒
Do you know how to tango? Yeah. Why?
你会跳探戈吗 当然 怎么了
Because, everyone knows you can’t be drunk and tango.
因为 众所周知喝醉了就跳不了探戈
So if I can tango, then I’m not drunk.
如果我能跳探戈 那么我就没醉
And I get to show your pictures to Finlay.
我就可以把你的照片拿给芬利看
If I can’t. Well, then you’re right and I won’t tell a soul.
不然 就算你说对了 我绝口不提这事
Tambien…
请
So about my friend Finlay.
看起来我要赢了
So tell me your secret. What secret?
告诉我你的秘密 什么秘密
How an American can speak like a Spaniard and dance
作为美国人 你是如何说话像西班牙人
Iike an Argentinean.
跳舞像阿根廷人
I’m not American. No?
我不是美国人 你不是
Well, not technically. I was born in England.
不算是 我出生在英国
My Father was English. My Mother was Spanish.
我父亲是英国人 我母亲是西班牙人
I grew up with my Mother’s family in America.
自我父母过世以后 我就去了美国
After my parents died.
和母亲的亲戚一起生活
How old were you when you moved to America?
你几岁搬到美国的
Five.
五岁
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pry. It’s not that.
对不起我不是故意的 没关系
It’s just I don’t want to be one of those awful characters
只是我不想像烂电影里的悲情女主角一样
out of a movie that gushes out their past while the violins play.
在悲戚的小提琴声中倾诉苦水
I mean I had a bad age five.
我的童年并不美满
I had a terrible age five, actually.
可以说是非常不幸
But all in all, since then, my life’s been pretty blessed.
但总的来说 从那以后 我的生活很幸福
So do you live alone?
你一个人住吗
No, I live with Peter.
不 我和彼得一起住
Oh? Your boyfriend? Oh God no! He’s my best friend.
你男朋友 不 他是我最好的朋友
We went to college together. He’s gay.
我们是大学同学 他是同性恋
All the good ones are…
所有好男人都是同性恋
You should meet him actually. He’s a brilliant writer.
你俩应该见见面 他是个很好的作家
Screenplays. Well, that’s the goal at least.
剧作家 这是他的心愿
He’s just the sweetest, funniest, kindest guy I know.
他是我认识的最贴心最善良的男人
If he wasn’t gay, I’d have married him years ago.
假如他不是同性恋 我早就嫁给他了
He sounds wonderful. He is!
他听上去很完美 他的确很完美
What are you doing tomorrow?
你明天有安排吗
Tomorrow? Nothing.
明天 没有
You wanna have dinner?
一起吃晚餐吗
Oh, sure!
好
Great! Come over at 8!
太好了 八点过来吧