真爱至上

然后再治理国家 好吗
and then let’s fix the country, shall we?
好的 为什么不呢
Yeah, I can’t see why not.
-没事了 -你看我都做了什么
– It’s all right. – Did you see what I did?
-我看到了 -我大脑空白了
– Yes, I did. – I just went ‘blurh’.
大家好
Hello there.
好的 我的房♥间在这里 好的 谢谢
Yeah, I’m in here. Ok. Good. Thank you.
不是吧
Oh, no.
真是太尴尬了
That is so inconvenient.
在上帝的见证下
In the presence of God,
彼得和朱丽叶自愿
Peter and Juliet have given their consent
对彼此许下婚姻的誓言
and made their marriage vows to each other.
他们互赠戒指
They’ve declared their marriage
以此宣告他们的结合
by the giving and receiving of rings.
因此我宣布
I therefore proclaim
他们结为夫妇
that they are husband and wife.
你居然忍♥住了
And you resisted
没给我惊喜
the temptation for surprises.
是啊 我现在成熟了
Yeah, I’m mature now.
爱 爱 爱
Love, love, love.
爱 爱 爱
Love, love, love…
-爱 爱 爱 -是你吗
– Love, love, love… – Did you do this?
不是
Er, no.
爱 爱 爱 爱
Love, love, love, love.
只要你想 就能做到
There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.
真是…
Oh, it…
只要你想
There’s nothing you can sing…
就能歌♥唱
that can’t be sung
你什么都不用说
There’s nothing you can say…
但得学会游戏规则
but you can learn how to play the game.
简单得很
It’s easy.
你只需要拥有爱
All you need is love.
你只需要拥有爱
All you need is love.
你只需要拥有爱 爱
All you need is love, love.
你只需要拥有爱
Love is all you need…
看 是派克
Look, it’s Pikey.
你好 你在这里做什么
Hello. What the hell are you doing here?
我来借点老歌♥的CD
Oh, I just popped over to borrow some old CDs.
女主人让你进来的吗
The lady of the house let you in, did she?
是的
Yeah.
-可爱又热心的姑娘 -是啊
– Lovely, obliging girl. – Yeah.
婚礼没完我就想回来看看
I thought I’d pop back before the reception and see…
她好点没 这张不错
if she’s better. This is good.
那个 我一直在想
Listen, erm, I’ve been thinking.
周五我们应该带妈妈出去
I think we ought to take mum out for…
给她过生日 你说呢
her birthday on Friday. What do you think?
我觉得这些年太不孝顺了
I just feel we’ve been bad sons this year.
听起来不错 没啥意思 但是不错
Ok. Sounds fine. A bit boring but fine.
快点 小伙子
Hurry up, big boy.
我已经脱♥光♥了 詹姆回家之前
I’m naked and I want you at least twice…
我至少要干♥你♥两次
before Jamie gets home.
很高兴见到你
I am so happy to see you.
-美味佳肴 -不用了 谢谢
– Delicious delicacy? – Er, no, thanks.
尝点好东西吗
Taste explosion?
-要吃的吗 -不 谢谢
– Food? – No, thanks.
不怎么样 是吧
Yeah, a bit dodgy, isn’t it?
看起来像是死婴的指头
Looks like a dead baby’s finger. Oooh.
吃起来也像
Oh. Tastes like it, too.
我叫科林
I’m Colin, by the way.
-我叫南希 -真好
– I’m Nancy. – Wicked.
-你是做什么的 南希 -我是厨师
– What do you do, Nancy? – I’m a cook.
-做过婚礼吗 -做过
– Ever do weddings? – Yes, I do.
他们真应该找你来做菜
They should’ve asked you to do this one.
找了
They did.
天哪 真希望你没拒绝他们
God, I wish you hadn’t have turned it down.
没拒绝
I didn’t.
好吧
Right.
我刚弄明白为啥我找不到真爱
I’ve just worked out why I can’t find true love.
为啥
Why is that?
英国妞 她们太死板了 明白吗
English girls. They’re stuck up, you see.
对于更酷 更有娱乐精神的妞
And I am primarily attractive to girls…
我才有吸引力
who are cooler, game for a laugh.
比如说美国妞
Like American girls.
所以我应该去美国
So I should just go to America.
在那找妞肯定很轻松
I’d get a girlfriend there instantly.
你觉得怎么样
What do you think?
我觉得不怎么样 科林
I think it’s crap, Colin.
这你就错了
That’s where you’re wrong.
美国妞会疯狂迷恋
American girls would seriously dig me…
我可爱的英式口音的
with my cute British accent.
你的口音根本不可爱
You don’t have a cute British accent.
我当然可爱 我要去美国
Yes, I do. I’m going to America.
科林 你就是个孤独丑陋的混球
Colin, you’re a lonely, ugly arsehole.
面对现实吧
You must accept it.
决不 我是科林 性♥爱♥之神
Never. I am Colin, God of Sex.
只不过生错了国家
I’m just on the wrong continent, that’s all.
安静一点
Bit of quiet…
我们要把灯光调好 伙计们
while we finish the lighting, guys.
跟你说 我本以为今天肯定迟到
I tell you, I thought I’m never gonna make it.
-今天的交通状况真是 -难以置信
– It’s the traffic, it’s just… – Unbelievable.
朱迪 这次你能把上衣脱掉吗
Judy, could you take the top off this time?
照明和摄像都得
Lighting and cameras need to know when we’re gonna…
根据你的乳♥头♥调整一下
see the, erm, nipples and when we’re not.
好的 没问题
Yes, OK. Right.
好在里面挺暖和的
At least it’s nice and warm in here.
不是每次都能遇到 是吧
Not always the case, is it?
我有一次在《西♥藏♥七年情》里
I was standing in for Brad Pitt once…
给布拉德·皮特当替身
on Seven Years In Tibet…
-是的 -冷死我了
– Yes, yeah. – Bloody freezing…
伙计们 时间紧迫
xxGuys, time’s tight…
演员马上要就位了
and we have to get the actors in.
-好的 -我保证不偷看
– Fine. – I promise I won’t look.
好了 再来一次
Right, let’s have another look at that, please.
你能把手放在她的胸上吗
Can you just put your hands on her breasts?
-好的 可以吗 -可以
– OK, yeah. Is that all right? – Yes.
我先暖暖手
I’ll warm them up.
-请揉捏一下 -好的
– And massage them, please. – Right.
十三号♥枢纽站真是要命啊
It’s junction 13 that’s just murder, isn’t it?
今天早上完全堵死了
Total gridlock this morning.
乔和我为此刻准备了很久
Jo and I had a lot of time to prepare for this moment.
她有一些要求
Some of her requests,
比如出席她的葬礼时
for instance, that I should bring
我的女友应该是克劳迪娅·雪佛
Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral,
我知道她希望我无视这个要求
I was confident she expected me to ignore.
但其他要求她说的很明确
But others she was pretty damn clear about.
她第一次说葬礼的事时
When she first mentioned what’s about to happen,
我说 除非我死了
I said, ‘over my dead body.’
她说 不 丹尼尔 除非我死了
And she said, ‘no, Daniel, over mine.’
和往常一样 我最爱的姑娘
And as usual, my darling girl…
萨姆亲爱的妈妈说对了
and Sam’s darling mum was right.
所以她最后的告别
So she’s going to say her final farewell…
不是通过我
to you not through me but,
而是无可避免地
inevitably,
酷酷地
ever so coolly,
通过不朽的天才
through the immortal genius…
湾市摇滚客传达
of the Bay City Rollers.
再见 宝贝 宝贝 再见
Bye bye baby, baby goodbye.
再见 宝贝 宝贝 再见
Goodbye baby, baby bye bye.
再见 宝贝
Bye bye baby.
别让我哭泣
Don’t make me cry.
再见 宝贝 宝贝 再见
Goodbye baby, baby bye bye.