寻：电影版

不过你怎么不和杰克上♥床♥
but why didn’t you have sex with Jake ?
他住在芝加哥 只是性而已
He lives in Chicago. It would just be sex.
我想保持专注
I want to keep my focus clear.
我不想把事情搞复杂
I don’t want to complicate things right now.
复杂 那也不代表你得把自己变成
Complicate. That doesn’t mean you gotta turn
“里脊肉王国的多米尼克修女”
into Sister Dominic of the Tenderloin.
对了 这应该作为第二个窗口的名字
That’s it. That should be the name for the second window.
你在逗我吗 他就这样 帕特里克
Are you kidding me? This is so what he’s like, Patrick.
就他这副德行
This is what I have to deal with.
他满脑子只想着工作
The only thing he ever thinks about is work.
这样很糟糕吗
Is that so bad right now ?
我们的意思是你可以找点乐子
I think that all we’re saying is it’s ok to have a little fun.
-对 -去感受下人类的皮肤
– Yes. – Get your hands on some skin
而不是被拔光毛的鸡
that doesn’t belong to a plucked chicken.
听着 谢谢你们的关心 真的
Ok, listen. I appreciate the concern, I do.
但我没事
but I’m fine.
我终于找到了想做的事 更棒的是
Finally, I know what it is that I want, and better still,
我看到了成功的希望 我有目标
I can actually see a way of getting it. I got some purpose.
-性♥爱♥会威胁到它吗 -谈恋爱也是威胁吗
– And sex could risk that? – Or maybe even a relationship?
很有可能
Very possibly.
天啊 我不…
I don’t…god…I don’t
我不想让自己听起来
I don’t want to sound like some kind of
-像在为恋爱唱颂歌♥ -是啊
– one of those gross couple relationship evangelist thing, – Yeah.
可你和林在一起时很开心啊
but you liked being with Lynn.
对 我当然开心
Yes, of course I did.
可那不是我现在想要的
But that’s not what I want right now.
我不想妥协
I don’t want to compromise,
可感情需要很多妥协
and relationships take a lot of compromise.
-我能说一句吗 -我说不能有用吗
– Can I say one thing ? – Would it matter if I said no ?
这已经成了 进展不错
This, this has happened, it’s working.
你做得很好 你不会搞砸的
You’re all good, you’re not gonna fuck it up.
你所做的不会变得一文不值
It’s not something that gonna turn into shit.
好吗 相信我 我明白那种感觉
Alright. And believe me, I know the feeling.
但我不是我妈 你也不是你♥爸♥
But I’m not my mom and you’re not your dad.
抱歉
Shit. Sorry.
我有点… 随便了
I’m being… whatever.
对 我可以
Yeah, I could do that.
对
Yes.
好 好
Yes. Yes.
好 我去找你
Yeah. I’ll meet you there.
我这就过去找你
I will meet you there right now.
好 一会儿见
Okay. All right, I’ll see you soon.
拜
Bye.
有谁想和我去印第安巨岩吗
Okay. Does anybody want to come with me to Indian Rock ?
奥古斯丁可能出状况了
I think that Agustin might be having a crisis.
我可不想
Fuck no.
-一点也不想 -天啊
– Not in a million years. – God.
-我得走了 -你得靠自己了
– I have to go. – You’re on your own.
-祝我好运吧 -祝你好运
– Wish me luck. – Good luck.
就你身上这股味 肯定能上他三垒
You’re so gonna get laid smelling like that. Bye.
帕特里克 我们又在一起了
Good, Patrick, we’re together again.
怎么了 你昨天看上去挺正常的
What happened? You seemed so calm yesterday.
我是挺正常 可我今天早上起来
I was calm, and then I woke up this morning
突然一阵胃疼
with this pain in my stomach,
就好像有溃疡要裂开了
like, I had an ulcer that was about to burst.
因为结婚的压力吧
It’s a stressful thing you’re doing getting married.
我想是吧
I guess.
你要和某人约定终身了
You’re getting committed to somebody else.
这可是大事
It’s a big thing.
我觉得你的措辞在帮倒忙
I don’t think your choice of vocabulary’s helping.
-你爱他吗 -我爱他吗
– Do you love him? – Do I love him?
你爱埃迪吗
Do you love Eddie?
我过去常说爱是一个并不存在的
I always used to say that love is a social construct
社会建构
that doesn’t really exist.
我当时不相信你 现在也不相信
I didn’t believe you then and I don’t believe you now.
-那它是什么 -天啊 别问我
– So, what is it? – Christ, don’t ask me.
说真的 你要怎样定义它
Seriously, how would you define it ?
我换个问题吧
Let me ask a different question.
和埃迪在一起让你感到开心吗
Does the idea of being with Eddie make you happy?
比如 你们一起白头偕老
Like, the two of you getting old and grey together,
抽大♥麻♥来缓解关节炎
smoking weed to ease the arthritis.
这确实让我感到开心
That thought does makes me happy.
为什么
Why?
为什么 我不知道
Why? I don’t know.
我喜欢他的胡子 喜欢他收藏的帽子
I like his beard. I like his hat collection.
也喜欢每当我想发某人的牢骚
I like that whenever I have someone I wanna bitch about
或是看到什么好玩的时候
or there’s something funny that I see,
我就想向他倾诉
he’s the person I want to tell.
他是我最好的朋友
He’s my best friend, I guess.
我有点嫉妒我不是你最好的朋友了
I’m mildly jealous that I’m no longer your best friend.
好吧 他是我想上♥床♥的最好的朋友
Okay, he’s my best friend that I wanna have sex with.
-还有 他有条大屌♥ -这不就够了吗
– Also, he has a huge penis. – Isn’t that everything ?
我不是说鸡鸡 而是其他事
Not the penis part, obviously, but the other stuff?
如果你把注意力集中在那些事上
Maybe if you just focus on that,
这就没什么大不了的 对吗
this won’t seem like such a big deal. Right?
实际上 我觉得这跟埃迪没关系
Actually, I don’t even think this is about Eddie.
我不是要上演逃跑新娘的桥段
This isn’t like some runaway bride moment
我没觉得有别人在等着我
where I feel like there’s someone else out there for me.
那是怎么回事
Then what is it?
还记得大学时我们第一次来这儿吗
Remember when we first came here after we started college?
-当然 -我们聊了远大的人生计划
– Of course. – We talked about our big life plan.
还有别的事
Among other things.
如果你那时告诉我 十年后
If you had told me then that a decade later
我会在艺术学院做店铺经理
I’d be working at the Art Institute as a shop manager
还会和一个男人结婚 我…
and getting hitched to a man, I…
你那时又知道什么呢
What did you know about anything in those days ?
我们那时都不能结婚
We couldn’t even get married back then.
你听到昨晚他们说的话了
You heard those guys last night.
弗兰克 尤其是他 多姆 布拉迪
Frank, especially him. Dom. Brady.
别听布拉迪说的话
Don’t listen to anything Brady says.
他就像个没人看的人形博客
He’s like a blog that nobody reads, but in human form.
但他们说得对 我过去总以为
But those guys were right. I used to think that
两人均为美国当代艺术家
我会成为基斯·哈林 或罗伯特·梅普索普
I would be like Keith Haring, or Robert Mapplethorpe.
代表作《老爸老妈浪漫史》
可是 我却成了尼尔·帕特里克·哈里斯
But instead, I’ve become Neil Patrick Harris.
不过我没他那么酷 我不会跳踢踏舞
Only not as cool, ’cause I can’t tap dance.
-你可以学啊 -我说真的 小帕
– You can learn. – I’m being serious, Patty.
我没成为预想中的我 这让我很难接受
I’m not who I thought I’d be, and it’s tough for me to take.
我变成了这么多年自己反对的那种人
I’ve become everything that I rallied against for years.
-彻头彻尾 -你可以改变啊
– Very loudly. – You’re allowed to change.
特别是你找到了适合你的东西
Especially when you’ve found something that works for you.
可如果我结婚之后抓狂了呢
But what happens if I get married and I freak out?
不是因为埃迪 而是我自己
Not about Eddie but about me.
如果我因为接受不了这个新的我
What happens if I can’t cope that this new me is so far
与设想中的我有天壤之别 而把事情搞砸了呢
from who I thought I would be that I fuck everything up?
如果我伤害了埃迪呢
What happens if I hurt Eddie?
我不想那样对他
I don’t want to do that to him.
我不能那样对他
I…I can’t do that to him.
你为什么觉得会那样
What makes you think you’ll do that ?
因为我就是那种人 操
Because it’s what I do, for fuck’s sake.
没过多久 我就会跟CJ打电♥话♥
Before you know it, I’ll be on the phone with CJ
然后把他和其他几个男妓叫来
and I’ll get him and a couple of other rent boys
操埃迪一顿 这样我就能好受很多
to fuck Eddie just so I could feel better about myself.
对此我非常怀疑 我觉得你已经吃过亏了
I doubt that very much. I think you learned your lesson there.
是吗
Did I?
知道我喜欢你哪点吗
You know what I love?
在过去这么多年里
Over the last couple years,
当你觉得有些事不顺的时候
when you found that something didn’t work for you,
你总能找到某种方式去解决它
you somehow found a way to fix it.
而且那样让你很开心
And that made you happy, right?