寻找埃里克（2009）

We’re both fucking grandparents.
什么
What?
听着 我有点受够了这些狗屁
Look, I’m getting a bit fed up with all this bullshit, right.
-好吧 我不翻译了 -我无所谓
-Okay. I don’t translate. -Oh, that’s fine with me.
操♥他♥妈♥的 什么意思
Oh, fuck it. What does it mean?
-拜托 告诉我们 -不
-Oh, come on, tell us. -No.
听着 你不能说了一半又假装没说过
Oh, look. You can’t just say it and then just forget about it like that.
我不想成为负担
I will not be a burden.
你可不是负担 老兄 你知道的
Oh, you’re not a burden, mate, you know that.
你在这很受欢迎 你怎么可能是负担
You’re welcome here any time. There’s no way you’re a burden.
就告诉我们那是什么意思吧
Just tell us what it means.
最高贵的复仇就是原谅
The noblest vengeance is to forgive.
她能原谅我
She might forgive me?
靠 是莉莉
Shit. It’s Lily.
在酒吧见 你知道是哪一个 现在
“Meet me in the pub. You know which one. Now.”
见鬼的
Fucking hell.
我告诉你了
I told you.
莉莉 你想喝点什么吗
Hi, Lily. Would you like a drink?
-只要半杯苹果酒 谢谢 -好的
-I’ll just have half a cider, please. -Okay.
-能要半杯苹果酒吗 谢谢 -当然
-Can I have, half a cider, please? -Yeah, sure.
来了
There you go.
一如往日
Seems like yesterday.
是啊 很难有所改变 不是吗
I know. It’s hardly changed, has it?
但我们变了
But we have.
我真的很怕跟你提起这些 你知道 莉莉
I’m really scared about opening all this up, you know, Lily.
告诉我 埃里克 我需要知道
Just tell me, Eric. I need to hear this.
-告诉我吧 -好
-Just tell me. -Okay.
第一次是在萨姆的受洗派对上 记得吗
The first time it happened was at Sam’s christening party. Remember?
一开始我以为是因为太热 烟雾缭绕
At first I thought it was just too hot, too smoky.
你知道 屋里人太多了
You know, too many people in the same room.
那些握手啊 拍背啊
All that hand-shaking and back-slapping.
“你现在有什么计划 小子” “换球了 小子”
“What’s your plans now, son?” “Different ball game now, son.”
他们不停不停不停地说着 一遍又一遍
On and on and on they went, again and again.
然后那个老男人走了过来
Then the old man come over.
没有从背后拍人
No back-slapping from him.
只有一双锐利的小眼睛和急促的声音
Just them hard little eyes and that clipped tongue of his.
我看到你在角落里 喂这萨姆
And I saw you in the corner with Sam, you were feeding her.
我记得 因为你给了我一个飞吻
I remember ’cause you blew me a kiss.
但不知为何 这让他很生气
But for some reason, that made him mad.
然后他似乎从背后一把抓住我脖子
And he sort of grabs me on the back of
就像从小他常常对我做的那样
The neck like he used to do when I was a kid.
把我前前后后的推着
Shoving me backwards and forwards like a
像那种狗屁竞赛节目里主持人对待参赛者
Fucking game show host with a contestant.
“见鬼的吻 我等着瞧你们能好多久”
“Fucking kisses? Let’s see how long that lasts.”
“你有上大学的才智”
“You had the brains to go to college.”
“现在我们看看你是什么做的”
“Now we’ll see what you’re made of.”
“你自己做的事 自己承担后果”
“You’ve made your bed now, son, you can lie on it. ”
感觉像我的脑袋套在塑料袋里什么的
Felt like me head was in a plastic bag or something.
然后他开始不停的用小短手戳我
Then he started prodding me with that stubby little fucking finger of his.
我觉得…我觉得好像浮起来了
I felt like… I felt like I was floating off.
就好像慢慢离开自己的身体
It was like I was coming out of me own body.
我飞到天花板上 从上向下看着自己
I was up there stuck on the fucking ceiling looking down at meself.
埃里克·毕晓普和杰克·毕晓普
Eric Bishop with Jack Bishop,
五金商 慢慢戳着我
Ironmonger, prodding me in slow motion.
你去哪
Hey, where you going?
这只是一次恐慌 埃里克
It was a panic attack, Eric.
这比你想象的要正常
They’re more common than you think.
我是说 我们在诊所多少都会经历这个
I mean, we come across it more or less all the time at the clinic.
我当时不知道是什么
I didn’t know what it was.
大概半小时后 我平静下来 回来了
About half an hour later, when I’d calmed down, I came back.
我进来然后开始装模作样
I came in and I just put an act on.
而你知道吗 从那以来我一直在装模作样
And you know what? I’ve been doing that ever since.
装模作样
Putting an act on.
那你为什么不告诉我
But why couldn’t you tell me?
我只是假装忘记 后来我自己都忘了
I just blanked it out. Even from meself.
我吓坏了
I was terrified.
我以为我会像迈克尔叔叔 挥舞球棒
I thought I am going to fucking bats like me uncle Michael.
过了一会 我看到你在喂萨姆
Later on, I’d see you feeding sam.
然后 我无法解释 只是觉得不能承担
And I don’t know, I can’t explain it, but I just couldn’t handle it.
我只是不能承担 这把我吓坏了
I just couldn’t handle it. it freaked me out.
然后逐渐的 我开始变得害怕回家
And then it got to the problem where I was scared of going home.
害怕回到自己的窝里
Scared of going back to me own gaff.
我以为你变得冷淡了
I just thought you’d gone cold.
-不 -后悔生了孩子
-No. -Regretted the baby.
怎么可能
No way.
我只想让你摸摸我 埃里克
I just wanted you to touch me, Eric.
我觉得自己很肥 很丑
I felt fat, ugly.
衣服上总散发着奶腥味
My clothes always stinking of milk.
不
No.
而且我记得我跟你吵翻了 对吗
And I remember I had a right go at you, didn’t i?
神啊 是的
Oh, god, yeah.
我都不知道自己能那样吼
I didn’t know I could scream like that.
我也不知道 没什么 我不怪你
Neither did I. Mind you, I don’t blame ya.
流连在外 醉酒不止
Staying out, getting drunk.
总是跟其他男孩们出去 借口
Off with the lads all the time. Excuses.
你说的所有那些谎话
All the lies you told.
我知道
I know.
这不是我离开你的理由 虽然我离开了
It’s not so much the fact that I left you, which I did,
我投降
I hold me hands up.
我只是回不去了 我只是回不去了
I just couldn’t get back. I just couldn’t get back.
你还好吗戴茜 没错 挺好的
Are you all right, Daisy? Yes, you are.
我们这样走…
Oh. There you go.
上坡坡
And up again.
-斯普林 好久不见 -你咋样啊?
-Spleen, all right, mate? -How are you, mate?
-来吗? -不行啊 我得看孩子
-Are you coming? -I can’t. I’ve got the baby, haven’t I?
-埃里克 最近可好? -嘿 膘哥
-Eric. You all right, mate? -Hey, meatballs.
-最近咋样? -还行 你呢?
-How’s it going? How’s it going? -You all right, mate?
-不错 -你好 小可爱
-Okay, yeah. -Hey, little dolly.
-她叫戴茜 -埃里克你咋想的
-Daisy. -Hey, what do you reckon, Eric?
-你好 小家伙 -好多新人 是吧?
-Hiya, dolly. -Plenty of new blood, eh?
告诉你 一直在不断壮大
Tell you what. Going from strength to strength here.
-我们准备出发了 -带小东西一起来
-We’re on our way. -Bring her with us.
来吗 还是?
You coming or what?
-带个小孩没事儿 -放在车上就行了
-You can get on and bring kid. -Put her on the bus.
我来 我一定按时到
Hey. Yeah, I’ll come, I’ll come one time, yeah.
噢 不行 我和莉莉约好见面的
No, I can’t. I’ve gotta meet Lily, haven’t I?
-你要见谁? -莉莉啊
-You’re gonna meet who? -Lily.
开啥玩笑呢
You’re joking?
-没开玩笑 -你俩啥时候又好上了?
-No, I’m not. I’m not. -When did this happen?
等等 我们只是…
Hang on, we’re only…
我们都得照顾戴茜 所以会见面聊一聊
We only meet and have a chat when we swap over the granddaughter, Daisy.
你还真是个老狐狸
You’re a bit of a sly dog, aren’t ya?
老兄 别胡说八道 神啊…
Nowt to it, mate. Jesus christ, don’t jump the gun here, what…
嘿 别装了
Hey, get in there, mate.
-埃里克和莉莉见面了… -闭嘴! 别嚷嚷
-Eric’s meeting Lily… -Shut it! Shut up.
-埃里克和莉莉… -别给我乱嚷嚷 大家别看他
-Eric’s meeting Lily… -Shut it. Shut up. Take no notice of him.
-埃里克和莉莉又好上了 -上车 赶紧的
-Eric Bishop’s meeting Lily -Go on, get on your bus.
-再见啦 小多莉 -她叫戴茜
-See ya, dolly. -Daisy.
埃里克和莉莉见面咯…
Eric’s meeting Lily here…
好好看你的球 别说了 别说了
Listen have a good match. Shut it, shut it.
你知道吗 莉莉
You know what, Lily?
我一直很感激你 没让女儿恨我
I’ll always be grateful that you never turned her against me, you know.
说实话 她跟你感情那么好我很嫉妒
To be honest, it hurt that she had so much fun with you.
无论如何 这不公平
Just didn’t seem fair somehow.
是啊 所有麻烦事都摊你身上了
Well, you got all the crap, didn’t you?
辅♥导♥家庭作业 听小孩抱怨
Homework. Complaints.
我只会带她去看坎通纳的比赛
I just took her to see Cantona.
也不能这么说
Yes and no.
你知道的 起先我真是恨透你了
You know something, I was so furious with you at first.
后来我开始想
And then I got to thinking,
“上帝啊 这个男人究竟在追求什么”