我们所知道的生活（2010）

Yeah. No. Uhuh.
对啊 不
I am not changing diapers for the next two years.
我不会让以后换尿不湿的任务落在我头上
Get in there. Okay, fine. Easy. It’s not that….
快去 行 小意思 根本不
Something you can take off the checklist. Check.
你可以在清单上把这一项打勾了 勾
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
I don’t know. It’s not a bra that I’m taking off a chick,
我不知道 这又不是解内衣
it’s a diaper taking off a baby.
这是给孩子脱纸尿裤
It’s not rocket science. Is there a box I can read?
这又不是什么尖端科技 有说明书吗
Just take the tabs off.
把粘贴带撕了就行
See those little tabs? Undo them.
看到这些粘贴带了吗 撕开就行
Oh, God. Don’t do that. You’re gonna make me throw up.
天啊 别这样 你要把我搞吐了
It’s like Slumdog Millionaire in there.
里面像住着个贫民窟的百万富翁
You’re gonna make me throw up.
你搞得我要吐了
She didn’t eat enough to produce that.
没吃多少怎么拉这么多
She’s getting it in her toes. Okay, give me the wipes.
沾到脚趾上了 给我纸巾
Give me another one.
再给我一张
Hurry. Get it out of her toes.
快点 把脚趾擦干净
What, it’s like a poop suit.
好一道大便盛宴
Oh, I got it.
我去开门
Messer. Don’t leave me in here.
梅瑟 别扔我一个人在这
Oh, God.
上帝啊
Oh, it’s burning my eyes.
饶了我的眼睛吧
I’m getting the feeling this is a reconnaissance mission.
我觉得这像个侦查任务
No one else is thinking that.
没人那么想
Oh, hi. Hi.
你好 你好
Hi. Hello.
你好 你好
Surprise. The athlete.
给你个惊喜 你是那运动员
Yeah, how’s it going? My Two Dads.
是的 还好吗 “我的两个爸爸”
What’s up, buddy? Here comes the block.
怎么样 伙计 来了一帮人
What’s going on?
什么事
Just, you know, bringing you some covered dishes and whatnot.
给你带来一些菜肴诸如此类的东西
New parents, gotta stock the fridge.
新当父母 冰箱里需要有存货
One, two, three.
一盒 二盒 三盒
Just because. Ha, ha!
仅此而已 哈哈
Come on in. Oh, how unexpected.
请进 真是意外
Hope it’s not a bad time.
希望来的还算是时候
Okay. Look at that, all clean.
好了 看看 都清理干净了
Hey, the neighborhood watch is here. They brought us some–
嗨 邻居们来看望我们 带来了一些
What? She’s perfect, no thanks to you.
怎么了 她现在很完美 功劳不属于你
Holly, you have a–
霍丽 你有一个
Save it, Messer. You big coward.
省省吧 梅瑟 你这个大懦夫
Okay. Come on.
好吧 走
Hey. What a surprise.
嗨 真是个惊喜
Hey, guys, we weren’t expecting you.
嗨 大家好 我们不知道你们要来
What a surprise.
真是个惊喜
What?
怎么了
Sweetie, you have shit on your face.
亲爱的 你脸上有坨屎
So…. Yeah.
是的 是啊
Who’s hungry? I am.
谁饿了 我
This one. Should we dive in?
吃这个 我们应该大吃一顿吗
You got a little more, on the right. Just shut up.
脸上还有一点 在右边 闭嘴
Okay. I swear.
好吧 我发誓
I’m just trying to help.
我只是想帮上忙
You guys doing okay? You look a little tired.
你们还好吗 看起来有点疲惫
That would be the not sleeping.
可能是没睡的缘故
Doesn’t show. You don’t look tired.
不显 你们看起来不疲惫
Don’t worry, because you’re not gonna sleep for 1 0 years.
别担心 因为你们十年内都睡不好觉
Surprise.
吃惊吧
And you’re never gonna get used to children’s music.
而且 你永远适应不了孩子们的节奏
Oh, God. No.
上帝 不会
If l knew where The Wiggles lived,
如果我知道缤纷扭扭四人组在哪住
and I’m working on it…
我正想法弄清
I would murder them with an AK-47.
我会用Ak-47步♥枪♥谋杀他们
I’m very serious. No new parents
我很认真的 没有一对刚当上父母
I don’t think any of us knew what we were doing.
我觉得我们谁都不知道在做什么
Not a clue. Not a clue.
没有头绪 没有头绪
I mean, we had nine months to get ready
我的意思是 我们用了九个月去准备
and we still screw up about half the time.
然而大半部分时间仍然弄得一团糟
He sure does. No, I said “We,” Actually.
他当然了 不 实际上我说的是我们
Do you know what? I’m gonna get real serious.
你们知道吗 我要说点现实严肃的问题了
You gotta get two things straight.
你们得做两手准备
One, get a sitter.
第一 找个看小孩的保姆
And a backup. Absolutely.
找个后援 完全正确
Yeah. Next, important:
对 第二 很重要
You can never have enough paper towels.
纸巾永远都不够用
And don’t shop at shop now.
别在商店购物
They’re always out of milk and don’t carry unscented wipes.
牛奶总是缺货 别买♥♥无香味的纸巾
When you order Motrin, get the dye-free.
儿童模特灵[药]要不染色的
Oh, no BPAs. Sippy cups, any plastics.
不要塑料奶瓶 啜吮杯 或任何塑料产品
You don’t want those chemicals.
你们不希望要那些化学物品的
Alison wanted Sophie to go to Big Wagon Preschool…
艾丽森想让苏菲去上”大货车幼儿园”
…so you may wanna think about making donations.
你们也许想要考虑一下捐款
Like, yesterday.
就像昨天
Okay, maybe we should start to write this down.
也许我们应该写下来
One bite, one bite, one bite.
就一口 就一口 就一口
The week. Can’t do that.
这周 不行
You’re writing my name. I already did
你写的是我的名字 我已经做过了
There we go. Okay, Sophie girl.
好了 苏菲
Your bath time, your bath time.
洗澡时间 洗澡时间
Oh! Okay, get the baby.
好了 往宝宝身上冲
Your bath time, your bath time. All right.
洗澡时间 洗澡时间 好了
All right, how about that?
好吧 这个怎么样
No?
不喜欢
How about this one?
这个怎么样
No?
不喜欢
Patterson with the turnaround.
帕特森转身投篮
Yeah!
太棒了
What? You wanna watch something else?
怎么了 你想看别的台吗
He shoots–
他射门了
No, come on, missed the….
不 没进
It’s time to wiggle.
缤纷扭扭来啦
There we go.
好了
You okay? You okay? Good. Okay. I’m sorry.
你还好吗 你还好吗 很好 对不起
Please?
拜托了
She’s making the poop face. What do you mean?
她一副大便脸 什么意思
Poop face. Oh, God, she’s gonna poop in the tub.
大便脸 上帝 她要拉在浴池里了
Hurry up, hurry up. She’s gonna poop on me.
快点 快点 她要拉我身上了
I don’t know how to do this. She’s gonna poop on me.
我不知道怎么弄这个 她要拉我身上了
You know what? Move, move.
你起开 起开
Let me do it. Here. Just take her. I got it.
我来 给 抱着她 我来弄
Come on. I hate this thing. There’s a latch. Pull the lever
我恨这东西 这里有个闸口 拉这杆
Okay. Don’t start. Sorry.
好了 别发火 抱歉
No, no, no, not the hat.
不 不 不 别用那帽子
Oh, my God, that’s my hat.
我的上帝 那是我的帽子
That’s my– I’ve had that hat since high school.
那是我的 我高中时就戴它了
I’ll wash it. Oh, yeah. Oh, it’s funny.
我会洗的 是啊 很可笑
Yeah, laugh it off. Laugh it off.
是的 别笑了 别笑了
Okay, that’s real funny.
好吧 真的很好笑
Oh, God.
上帝
Um, I think we should just….
我觉得我们应该
Hey, what is that? What?
嗨 那是什么 什么
That lump. What’s that?
那个肿块 那是什么
That’s her bellybutton. No, it’s not.
那是她的肚脐 不 那不是
That wasn’t there. That was not there a few days ago.
肚脐不在那 几天前还没有呢
It’s just an outie, isn’t it?
只是肚脐上的疤 不是吗
No, it’s not an outie.
不 那不是肚脐上的疤
I don’t think.
我觉得不是
How does this…?
这怎么弄
What are these numbers on here? What does that mean?
这些数字是什么意思
Why is this…?
为什么这个